Pakiramdam ko nakikita ko ang lahat ng hinaharap ng tao nang walang tinginan sa kanilang mata.
Gusto ko ulit siyang makausap.
Ilang araw na ang lumipas ngunit wala namang pagbabago ang nangyayari saakin. Walang masamang espirito ang nagpapa ramdam. Ngayon na nakakita na ako ng anghel, naniniwala na ako sa lahat ng bagay.
God is definitely real along with his angels.
Am I dreaming? Because I don't wanna wake up to this dream yet. It feels surreal, I don't wanna end it yet. This is too good to be true.
Nakaalis ng probinsya, nakahanap ng titirhan, nakapasok sa paaralan, napatunayan kong tunay siya. Pakiramdam ko iba ang mundong kinagagalawan ko sa mga normal na tao, o kung tatanungin, pakiramdam ko hindi ako kabilang sa mga normal na tao. Iba ako.
Pagkatapos noong gabi na 'yon, nabuhayan ako, I don't know. Honestly, I'm feeling delusional.
This school is too old but it has the oldest library so... not complaining. I'm gonna research something about angels. Something about their existence.
I know they're real already but I've got zero information about them aside from they're God's creation. That's it! Sana may mahanap ako! Which I'm slightly sure about, I mean this University is a Catholic school.
Pagkarating ko nang Library, kakaonti ang tao at medyo madilim na sa pinakalikuran, siguradong patay na ang ilaw. Why didn't I go to library before 6? Stupid me...
Nilapag ko ang bag ko sa isang upuan na may malaking mesa sa harapan, this library is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, library. Maayos ang pagkakalagay, hindi maalikabok ngunit ang buong library mismo ay makaluma, panigurado pati ang mga libro ay sobrang luma na. But my professor said, the older the book the more it was well-written.
I'm still new to this stuff but I tried to get the basket to get the book I wanted. Nang mapunta ako sa Religion section, hinanap ko agad ang mga bibliya na posibleng nabanggit ang mga anghel.
I found a book that is literally made for angels.
I got 7 books related to angels.
According to this bible that I have, there were only 3 mentioned angels which are Gabriel, Raphael and Michael. So I researched about the three and gladly it was mentioned by the other book.
Those three angels were called as Archangels, so I researched about them and I found out they were 7.
It was Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Azrael, Zadkiel and Raziel. My mind focused on the name Zadkiel, it was him. He's not just an Angel but an Archangel. It was said here that an Archangel is like an army, so sila yung front pag may laban? Ngumiwi ako sa naisip ko. May laban ba sa langit?
I closed all the books and went home when I realized I'm one of the few left, although there's still some of college students reviewing.
I didn't get that much Information since there was no specific information about him. But one thing is for sure, he's one of a hell important angel. He's written on the bible, he's close to God. What else?
Nagpasya akong umuwi na sa kadahilanang gabi na at nagugutom na ako. Walking distance lang naman ang Unibersidad sa apartment, malamig na ang panahon kaya naman ang suot kong jacket ay nagbigay kumportable saakin. Gabi na ngunit maliwanag parin ang daan sa P.Noval, mahangin at marami pa rin akong kasabay pauwi.
Every night and then, I feel like I should wait for someone, that I can't sleep yet because there's someone waiting for me... and I couldn't agree more because when that night happened, every single part of my body was longing for his soul.
You're looking for me...
Napangiti ako. He's here.
His voice is a mixture of warmth and at the same time his tone is deep, husky, parang inuutusan niya ako pag nag sasalita siya. Which I deeply understand, though, God's army?
You knew...
He's not here physically, but I'm hundred percent sure he can see me.
I need to see him. Not just to see him but to ask him personally, about my hideous ability, siya ang makakapag sabi saakin kung bakit ako may ganitong abilidad na makakita ng hinaharap. Malakas ang pakiramdam ko na hindi lang ako basta pinanganak lang. There's something else, it must. And I'm sure he can read my thoughts. Now... let me see you.
In just one blink, he's here in front of me.
He's with his full armor attire again. Andito lang siya pero pakiramdam ko... ang layo niya.
Napansin kong lumapit siya saakin, I'm not scared of him. I must not.
"Why?" I breathed heavily before I answered him. Unlike the first time I saw him, it was dark. Now, I can see him clearly. He is really a God's creation. I honestly can't help but to praise his facial features, especially his whole body. Parang inukit nga ng diyos.
Unfair.
And for the second time, my heart beats fast.
I'm scared... I'm nervous...
"Why did you call me?" Umangat ang ulo ko. Did I call him?
"Your soul was looking for me, tell me... Why did you call me?"
I didn't responded for a minute knowing that I still gathering my thoughts in my head, Perhaps, I don't even know what to say. "Tell me... how I got this ability."
His massive body turned around at me, he was just like, looking in the window. Sight seeing... "It's a gift from above... All humans have their own gifts, Calamity..." I nodded.
"Then why do I feel like I have to use this? Why do I feel like there's something deeper meaning about my hideous ability? And why am I seeing you now? Isn't it a sin showing yourself to a human?" His deep... blue eyes met mine. And in a snap I feel like I was in front of a cerulean sea. It's drowning me.
"Every gift has a purpose, you just have to simply figure it all by yourself. It's not just a sin, Calamity... It's a taboo. Now, may I have you?"
He offered his hands at me, telling me to hold his hand. By the time that I held his hand, touch his hand for the first time, was the time that I felt heaven. I mean, literally. In just a split seconds, we're now in a garden, flowers, leaves, trees, what else? There's also a not-so-big house in the center of everything. There's a windmill on the side of the house.
"Where are we?"
This looks like heaven. Or is this... heaven? I ran to the field of flowers, there's a tulips, roses, baby breath, different kind of flowers and i noticed that all of 'em are my favorite.
This is so beautiful.
I thought I won't be able to witness different flowers because of the season but here I am today. I touched the flowers through my hands and they were real... is this, real?
Are we in heaven?
"Silly, no." Habang nararamdaman ko na nasa likod ko lamang siya. "If not, then, are we in the Philippines?"
"No." He exclaimed.
My eyes grew widely.
"Really?! How did you do that? I mean, we teleport from the Philippines to here? Where exactly are we?" I said giggling. This is too good to be true. He's very convenient to be with, I might add. Imagine you don't have to worry about your expenses for your plane ticket, just imagine.
"Why did we go here?"
"This place is nowhere, Calamity. Only us, immortals know where this place exactly. This is my second home, Calamity." So he brought me here because this is his home? So beautiful!
Tumango nalang ako at tumakbo sa gitna. I feel free! It's so sunny and alive. It's so different from outside. I wish I have this kind of home, too. Lively.
"Someday... this will be your home." He exclaimed seriously. I smiled.
"Did you made this?" I asked.
Nakakapag taka kung paanong nangyari na may ganito siyang ari-arian. It's so big and beautiful, I guess there's no impossible to an angel.
"It's a gift, sent from above," I nodded. That explains why this is beautiful. There was no flaw.
Nilibot ko ang buong field habang tumatakbo o mabagal na naglalakad, panay din ang takbo ko papalayo sakanya hanggang sa mapagod ako at umupo nalang sa gitna ng mga bulaklak.
"Oops, time check, baby, time to go home." Ngumiwi ako. Hindi ko pa nalilibot ang buong lugar. "It's alright, you've got lifetime to explore that place."
He held my hand tightly at naramdaman ko ulit ang pakiramdam na parang umiikot ang mundo ko. Nakakahilo. Masyadong mabilis ang pangyayari, nasa bahay na agad ako. I looked at the clock, It's midnight. Ibig sabihin... 30 minutes lang ang tinagal ko doon? But it feels longer...
"Your world is different from my world, Cali. Time is not an exemption."
Time...
Months have passed and all I know was... our world is really different, we have different duties, different responsibilities. Mas tumatagal ang panahon, mas lalo kong nararamdaman ang layo niya saakin, Sa lahat ng tao. He's not one of us, not even human.
Sinabunutan ko ang buhok ko pagkatapos kong malaman ang resulta ng exam. I can do better than this... this is a big disappointment. I studied last night, and before last night. How did it happen?
I can only study. Iyan lamang ang ambag ko. My scholarship depends on my grades. It's not that low but it's definitely lower than my grades before. I even studied with Zadkiel. He's with me the whole time I was studying. What happened? Anong mali?
Haku will be very sad to hear this news. Kira will be sad, too. I mustn't forget their sacrifices. They're earning while studying while I'm only studying at hindi ko pa magawa ng maayos?
Stupid Calamity.
Sinabunutan kong muli ang buhok ko. I hate this life. Pero kung tutuusin, mas gusto ko na ang ganitong klase ng paghihirap kaysa noon. Kumusta na kaya sila? Are they still there? Nagbago na kaya si bato? How about the kids there? Nakapag-aral na kaya? Ang mga babae, nakalaya na kaya?
I slapped my self twice nang magising naman ako sa katotohanan na marami pa akong gagawin.
"Want me to help you?" Nagulat ako sa biglaang pag sulpot ni Nichail. Oh, this boy surely have guts. Zad won't like him.
"Thanks, but no..." Natutunan ko ring humindi sa mga tao. Thanks to my bestfriend, Leandra.
"Great! Makulit ang isang iyon..." Leandra, she's my only friend kaya tumango tango ako. "He is..." I added. Tumaas ang isang kilay niya, "What do you expect from the son of the mayor? Arrogant." Natawa nalang ako. Hindi lang naman si Nichail ang sumubok na ligawan ako, half of my batch tried to get me. None of them won.
They share one brain cell.
They're all arrogant. Roses or chocolates won't get me, it's more than that.
"How do I get you, then?"
A deep husky but warm voice filled my ears. I chuckled. I whispered, "You ask God, then..."
"Ayoko na! Nakakapikon na itong mga paperworks! Pagka tapos nito umalis tayo ha?!" Tumango nalang ako. Nakakabaliw.
"Saan naman tayo pupunta?" Oktubre pa lang at malapit na matapos itong first sem. Next week ang final exam at inaantay ko na lamang iyon. After next week, undas na.
"I can bring you to my hometown, Cali. Sa Ilocos!" Nanlaki ang mata ko. I'd like that! Iyon ay kung papayagan ako ni Haku... pero siguro naman oo.
"Ilang araw?" Tinaas niya ang tatlong daliri niya habang kumakain.
Leandra is a cute girl, she's fair and small. I mean not really small but I think she's only 5'4? Mataba ang kanyang pisnge at mahilig siyang kumain. Payat naman ang pangangatawan niya kahit mahilig kumain, taliwas siya sakin na matangkad.
"You know... I'd like to introduce you to my family again out there! They'll love you! At isa pa, hahanapan kita ng boyfriend." Kumindat siya saakin. Napa iling nalang ako. "Kailan naman 'yan?"
"Hmm? Our sembreak will start on October 31 so probably we'll leave on the first day of November? Ipapaalam kita kay haku! Pupunta ako mamaya sainyo, o kaya pumunta tayo sa pinag ta-trabahuan niya? Alright?" She chuckled.
At iyon nga ang nangyari. Lea was smiling the whole time habang nagpapaalam. She said she got this and all but I didn't expect that she'll include some lies. Haku is a good observer. He's an intelligent person you won't fool him.
"Fine... sayang naman ang pagsisinungaling mo kung hindi ko siya papayagan." Lumingon ako kay Leandra at nakita ko na namutla siya. Napangisi si haku.
Leandra's family is quite powerful in their hometown, she said that her family knows the governor. Which is the most powerful family in Ilocos. I'm not quite sure about that, though. All I know was that they're really wealthy and powerful.
"You're close to the truth, Cal..."
Zadkiel said that he's not my guardian angel because an archangel can't be a guardian angel but he said that he'll protect me. That's why I conclude that I'm one of his mission. Maybe his mission of me was to guide me. Because that's what he always do.
What does he meant by the truth?
He's not straightforward when giving signs, he always say that he can't meddle with my life and can only give signs. Nasa akin na daw kung ano ang tatahakin ko.
Tell me, Zad. Anong katotohanan? May hindi pa ba ako nalalaman?