Nagdaan ang ilang oras ngunit wala, na kahit ano ang dumapo sa panaginip ko, ni hindi ako nanaginip, I just slept. Imposible. Imposibleng wala akong nakita gayong kontrolado ko ang makikita ko?
Lumipas ang ilang oras at maghapon akong tulala sa nangyari. Imposible. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapaisip ng malalim, I need to help Haku, Kira and myself. Kapag nakalabas kami rito matutulungan namin silang lahat, we can only succeed by seeing the future. Imagine how much you can change something by seeing things before it happens. Things could be different.
I never use my "eyes" for myself.
Tinagilid ko ang librong hawak ko at sinilip si Haku, normal lang naman at mukhang hindi naman siya naii-stress sa plano namin. Ako lang yata.
Si Kira naman, nag-aaral. She loves studying, so much. Gustong gusto niya na may bago siyang natututunan. She's really smart because of hard work, Haku's intelligence was natural. He's naturally talented. Nevertheless, he's a great tactician. Kira's a genius.
Tadhana nga yata na magkakilala kaming tatlo. Malapit ang puso namin sa isa't isa, tila mag kakapatid sa dugo.
Kinagat ko ang labi ko at yumuko. I need to do something, I need to see my future.
I'm scared.
Imagine changing what God plans for you, It's like meddling with his decisions to us, humans. I have the advantage but I'm still scared for what might happen. Hindi ko maisip na kung ano man ang mangyayari sa kinabukasan, kung ano ba dapat ang para saakin ngunit babaguhin? Kung babaguhin ko ang tadhana na nakalaan para saakin, hindi ba iyon ang nakatadhana saakin?
Sumandal ako sa cabinet na nasa tabihan ng kama. Natural na malamig ang hangin, Oktubre.
Sinuot ko ang tsinelas ko at lumabas. Tanaw ang bundok dito sa bahay, tapat lang namin ang lawa at puro puno sa gilid. Isang magandang lugar para sa katulad namin.
I still believe that having conscience doesn't mean you're being kind, It's a mistake actually, to feel conscience about something but not really doing anything even if you have the power to do it.
Isinawsaw ko ang mga paa ko sa tubig ng lawa habang nakaupo. Malamig ang tubig, kasing lamig ng panahon. Madalas din ang ulan ngunit hindi naman kami naaapektuhan ng landslide dahil malayo naman ito doon at puro puno lang ang meron dito. Malayo sa siyudad pero okay naman. Mas tahimik mas maganda. Mas nakakapag-isip ako. Iyon nga lang, paulit ulit lang rin ang pananaw ko sa buhay.
Alejo went beside me, "Tawag ka raw ni Haku." Ngumiwi siya sakin at umalis na. Some of our people here are not used to my presence, they said I'm weird and crazy. They didn't believe in my premonitions, si Bato lamang ang naniniwala sa kakayahan ko bukod kay Haku and Kira. I don't know how did he know that I have this ability.
"I changed my mind, You will not use your power."
Sumandal siya sa puno habang hawak ang isang libro, kumunot ang noo ko sa pagtataka, "Bakit?"
"Changing the future means imbalances. Hindi magiging pantay, Cali." Naguguluhan man, tumango nalang ako.
"This will be an easy escape, Kira, Cali. Magiging mahirap lamang ito pag nakatapak na tayo ng siyudad."
At ganoon nga ang nangyari, hatinggabi ay nag plano na kami sa paglabas. Kung mahuli man kami ay si Haku na ang bahalang mag salita dahil may kakayahan siyang magpaniwala ng tao. Not literally, though. He's just using his brain to deceive people. Dahil ito ay nasa gitna ng kagubatan, napapagitnaan kami ng tubig, bundok at mga puno. May lagusan daw patungong siyudad, ang mga perang nalikom namin ay ilalaan namin patungong Maynila.
Mukhang madali. Madali lang naman talaga, ang mahirap ay iwanan itong lugar. Pero dahil sa napag-usapan na ngayong araw lang naman kaming magiging maka sarili, isasarili ko na lamang ang nararamdaman ko sa kanila. Kung makalabas kami dito, gagawa kami ng paraan para mailabas ang lahat.
Kira held my hand tightly while smiling at me, tahimik na tumutulo ang luha niya. Haku, was only looking at the window. But I know, deep in his heart, his conscience is right beneath his heart. Napamahal kami sa kanilang lahat, kinupkop kami na parang mga anak, espesyal ang turing saamin dahil sa kakayahang taglay.
Madaling araw na at hindi naman nakakagulat ang lamig ng panahon pero nilalamig parin ako. I didn't even know where we're going. I don't know about anything aside from our place.
"All is well, Calamity. Me and Kira is right here, with you. Nothing to be afraid of, Sabay natin itong haharapin." He kissed my forehead at ganoon din kay Kira. Kira cried silently. "I can't believe I will be able to see outside again."
I innocently glanced at the window, It's almost sunrise. It symbolizes future, courage. What you do today will affect your tomorrow. It means if you want your future to be successful, you have to work on your present.
A feather fell into my nose, tumingin ako sa itaas, funny though, nasa bus kami. Tinignan ko ang Feather at sinuring mabuti, It's unexpectedly beautiful for a feather. It's detailed and the feather is soft but its size is bigger. I kept it to my bag.
4 years is enough to start a new life. Sa loob ng apat taon na iyon, nahirapan kami sa pagbabago.
Haku and Kira had to find a job since they're both 5 years older than me. Hindi naging mahirap sa kanila ang pag ta-trabaho habang nag-aaral. While I had to prioritize studying since I can't do anything way back. Until now. Naka depende pa rin ako sa kanila, because of my age. Kung mag hahanap ako ng trabaho, walang tatanggap saakin bukod sa menor de edad pa lang ako, hindi rin ako pinayagan ni Haku. He said they can do it. I believed in them, studying is not a problem to them anyway.
Haku worked on an expensive coffee shop, his salary was enough for us but Kira insisted to helped him, She worked on a University as an apprentice of a Dean.
It's Sunday today at naka ugalian namin na mag bonding tuwing linggo, just talk and sometimes going out. I eventually adjust here, the apartment was enough for us three. Haku has his own room while Kira and I shared in one room.
"Tell us, Cali, kung mayroon kang problema. I know your classmates are bullying you, hindi mo lang sinasabi." The only thing that I can contribute is to not give them any problems.
"I'm fine..." tumingin ako sa mga mata niya at sa hindi inaasahan, nakita ko ang hinaharap niya. Siya na may hawak na sanggol.
"You'll be a good mother, Kira."
"You can't tell anyone about your capabilities, No one will believe in you." I nodded. I know.
"You should sleep now, may pasok ka pa bukas." They're almost graduating, matapos lang itong taon. Habang ako naman ay isang taon bago mag college.
3 hours have passed and I didn't even try to sleep, perhaps I'm not sleepy at all. Lumabas ako ng kwarto at pumunta sa maliit na sala, Someone was standing behind the window. I can't see him clearly but his shadow was enough evidence to claim him.
"You called me." It was an understatement from him.
"Calamity..." his deep, but the smooth voice almost choked me. It's a sign that he isn't normal. He's beyond humans. Beyond all things.
"Zadkiel..." Humarap siya saakin, nanatiling madilim at maulan, niyakap ko ang sarili ko gamit ang jacket na suot suot ko. Papalapit siya ng papalapit, mas lalong hindi ako nakakahinga. That's what angels affect to humans. Because we are not the same. I can't stand his presence, Literally. It's too much for me to handle him. Or anyone... like him.
Few inches closer, saka ko napansin ang itsura niyang pang tao. Tao. Walang pakpak. Tao. His clothes were in armor, though.
His rough hands touched my face, touching me gently. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at inalis sa akin. But he stopped me.
"I'll be gone for a while..." his nose touched mine. "Take care... please. Don't worry about me." He kissed my forehead down to my nose and to my lips.
"I don't wanna leave. I wanna stay."
"Zadkiel... you're running away from your duty. You don't have to worry about me every time you leave. I'm going to be fine!"
His armor was touching against my body but his hand was warm enough to forget the coldness of his suit.
"I'm going to be fine... Zad. I'm gonna study a lot, midterm is almost, I won't go anywhere aside from this apartment and school. Nothing will ever happen to me. I have you."
Angels rarely smile but this time, his smile was evident while kissing my forehead. I looked into his eyes, mayroon siyang kulay dagat na mga mata, he said that all Angels has that color of an eye. That's why everytime he looks at me, parang nalulunod ako.
Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit, who knows... kung kailan siya babalik. His duty is different from humans, his opponents were demons. He must protect mankind, us... and I will be just a nuisance for him because I know... that there's something holding him back and that's me. He's scared of what might happen to me while he's gone.
"For how long..." I exclaimed.
"I can't tell... This is a mission for all of us, to protect mankind." Tumango ako. It is confidential to share their missions to us, humans. I remained confused yet cool. Wala naman siyang dapat sabihin, I have an idea and confirming it from him will only scare me.
"Demons are everywhere, Calamity. No matter where you go, they'll find you." Niyakap ko ang sarili ko sa lamig. "I'm casting a spell in this place, Calamity. I'll be gone for a while, I'll make it fast. Dominions will look after you, there's nothing to be afraid of."
Tumango lamang ako.
"What can demons do to us, humans?" His cerulean eyes were burning in desire, in rage. "Anything."
His massive body covered my whole body, his kisses were passionate and gentle. Our forehead touched to breathe. His nose was kissing mine. He lifted me through his arms, "Sleep."
The next thing I knew, I was in our bedroom.
I woke up at 8am, tumingin ako sa wall clock. My seminar ako ng 10am kaya naman sakto lang ang gising ko. Pagtingin ko sa gilid ay wala na si Kira, probably Haku, too.
A lavender feather fell into my nose, for the nth time.
It's a sign that he can see me.
Nilagay ko ito sa cabinet ko na ngayon ay punong puno na ng feathers. Dapat ata gumawa ako ng pakpak tapos itong mga feathers na tinago ko ang gamitin, kulayan nalang ng puti. Napaisip ako roon, pag nagkaroon ng play at kailangan ng pakpak mag vo-volunteer ako...
I chuckled at my thought, naiisip ko pa lang na ginamit ko ang mga feathers bilang pakpak ay natatawa na ako. Zad's reaction would be funny.
A Lavender feather fell into my nose, once again. I chuckled. "Wag ka mag-alala, hindi ko gagawin."
Zadkiel is sometimes sentimental, Well at least to me.
I can't help but reminisce. It was a tough journey, to met him.
After months of adjusting, nang makahanap kami ng lilipatan at makahanap ng trabaho si Kira at Haku, doon kami nag pasya na mag-aral. They both got the brain so it's never hard to pass a scholarship, habang ako naman ay pinag butihan ang pag re-review para maka pasa lang ng scholarship.
Nagkaroon ng malaking pagbabago sa buhay ko, I've met different kind of people, this City is amazing. It was full of people and I like it, I like humans.
But I think, the biggest change that I had is when Zadkiel showed up for the first time. It was midnight, hindi ako makatulog noon at lumabas ng kwarto, I saw him, sa tabi ng bintana, madilim. He was naked right there, he has this ripped pants, barefooted.
The moment that I saw his shadow, the moment that I know I'm not delusional. Totoo ang mga naiisip ko, totoong may nag paparamdam saakin.
"I know you..." My heart literally stopped at that very moment. Ni hindi ko nga naramdaman na tumitibok pa ito, I'm also scared of him. He's tall and muscular, too rough looking for my innocent self.
"You're an angel..." I exclaimed nervously, I know he was an angel, God's creation. Beyond humans, God's example of perfect creation. There were no flaws when I saw him, he was just standing, not showing his wings but his presence screams perfection, power, and authority.
To see is to believe. Noong nalaman ko na may kakayahan akong wala ang karamihan, napagtanto ko na posible pala ang lahat ng bagay. What more of an angel? Aren't they mentioned several times in the bible?
"I am..." I gasped.
All is well, Calamity. An angel won't hurt you.
His presence was too intense. The wind is howling, the temperature is too cold for this kind of weather, my heart beats rapidly, I'm gasping for breath.
But there was something that will surely be caught your attention, he has this spirit around his body, an aura, his aura is color violet with a mixture of light and blue. There was no dark spirit of aura around his body. It was all light, pure.
I thought I can only see a future, couldn't believe I also can see an angel's aura!
"I only made it for you to see my spirit, to know that my intention was good."
His deep, but smooth voice almost choke me. It was the voice of an angel, literally.
Scary... he's scary...
My body is shaking because of nervousness, hindi ko alam na ganito ang epekto ng presensya niya. O ganito lang talaga ako?
"I'm sorry. My presence is too powerful for humans to behold, that's why... you're having that reaction." Tumango ako.
We remained silent for a few seconds until he opened his mouth to say something,
"I'm here to warned you, now that you left your previous place, you're not safe anymore." My brain wasn't functioning, hindi ko naintindihan. "You're not safe here, Calamity."
"Huh? B-bakit?"
"Your gift will lead you to destruction, It's a gift, Calamity, but you should know that a gift always has its own consequences, especially if your gift is power." Tinikom ko ang bibig ko.
Sinasabi niya ba na delikado ang kapangyarihan ko?
"Pero maraming tao sa mundo, sigurado naman ako na hindi lang ako ang meron nito." I said.
"Of course, you're not the only one. But you're the chosen one, the demons will find you, Calamity. Seeing the future means imbalances but in your case, It will be necessary. You'll need it, you gotta use it."
"I want to know your name... you protected me when I was young, right?"
His massive, magnificent wings came out in a snap. It was bigger than what I was expecting to see, Although I wasn't able to see it clearly, I still knew it was perfect.
"Silly, you're still young."
A few seconds have passed but the time seemed to stop, the Angel was gone. Then I heard a whisper of a voice,
"Zadkiel..."
I wasn't able to see him clearly, only his shadows! This is unfair!