But how could I hate her
She's such an angel
But then again
Kinda wish she were dead
Taeyong
My days have been lonely and empty without him. I wish I could say I didn't need him in my life and move on but sadly that was far from the truth. I missed his entire presence and loathed Heather for taking him from me. My existence was quickly erased from his memory and was replaced by a beautiful girl. She is such an angel and everyone knows it. Possibly it was a good thing, he deserved so much more than me anyway.
I tried everything to get Jaehyun's attention. I waited by his locker, he passed it with his head turned to her so he could listen to her words better. He didn't even see me. I was invisible to him now just like how I was with everyone else. He said I was special. But of course, Heather is still more. I texted him multiple times asking if he wants to come over, left on read or delivered. When he answered it was short responses like "Text later" or "I'm busy". I even tried to go up to him and talk to him but all he did was brush me off like dust on his shoulder when he saw his precious girlfriend.
You'd think I could easily hate her for ruining my relationship with Jaehyun, but it just wasn't in my heart. She's the girl you can come to and talk to if you have problems or drama, the girl who gives you pencils if you forget one, the girl who is perfect. While I was the boy who sat at the back of the room, to shy to talk to anyone and fantasizing about a boy I could never have.
Sometimes I think about what would've happened if she never was in our lives. If she wasn't at our school, if she dated someone else, maybe if she wasn't born at all. Maybe my friendship would still be intact. Maybe I would have more of a chance with him. Yet that is illogical, it's just if's. I have to face the real word head on. No matter how bad it shatters my entire body. I'm breaking without his support. He's the glue that holds my fragile mind together.
I realize I relied on him too much. Now that he left me I feel all alone in the world. I don't care if that's pathetic. He was like my energy, my happiness, my sadness. He was my world. How will I go on without his shield, protecting me from everything that hurts.
Hey guys, I know that it sounds like this was a toxic relationship but it wasn't, I'm just trying to express how heartbroken Taeyong is, and that Jaehyun was very important to him.