Since my dad and I promised to spend time with each other and also my mom told him that I am allowed to hang out with Blake until 10pm, he changed it to 9pm, I guess that was understandable since he has never really had me more than a week. So this time it was a month, after Blake and Jared moved to Portland where my father, Alan has been living at, so I think that if I get homesick or shit like that, I suppose I can hang out at their place. So as I was packing my clothes and personal stuff, all I thought of was texting Blake and telling him that I was heading over to Portland and see if we can hang out sometime. I picked up my phone and opened the Conversation with him, I was about to text him, but I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence, so I just backspaced everything and closed the conversation, left it at that. The night before Mom and I left to go to Portland, she got paid so we were okay for the trip over, we got Dutch Bros for the road and she wanted to listen to one of my favorite shows, Teen Wolf. In my Sophomore when I didn't get to have my Mythology class, I ended up getting into TV shows that were like, based on that topic and Teen Wolf just happened to be the one that caught my interest, Supernatural or The Vampire Diaries wasn't one of them, so I binge watched the Series the week after my 16th Birthday when the package came in. The electricity was running too much in the living room then so my mom just came in when her TV burnt out, she didn't like it at first, but now she became a fan because I influenced her. I put Teen Wolf Season 3 Part 2 since it is one of my favorites,"Has your Dad said anything yet?"
"No, just that the Family Reunion is tomorrow at 4:30 at Grandma and Grandpa's house" She nodded and stretched her arms out so she doesn't develop Carpal tunnel or something, but it actually does work,"I also let Blake know that I was planning to come over to Portland for sometime, he said that we can just plan for which day and just hang out" I did tell her about Blake since Wrestling and it was only bits and pieces until we began talking a bit more, but she doesn't know about the stupid shit that we did the year before, I just think for once, I want my mother to at least, like one of my guy best friends, surprisingly, she does like him. Plus, she doesn't know a whole lot of my sexual history, its probably a good thing too since after learning about how my relatives were and how they turned out, I became more selective and secretive, I've kept track of my cycle, the boys that I know who is more toxic than Caleb was. What do you expect, it's fucking High School. We're all bound to be fucked up in one way or another, some of us just took the worst of it and we don't know it, hell even I don't know how fucked up I am. "Okay I'll let your Dad know about Blake" A couple hours later, we finally made it into town, we stayed at a Hotel because Grandma and Grandpa's house is further into Portland, we checked in and had queen size beds. When Blake and I texted, he asked me what I was doing at 9:30pm
I'm just laying in bed in a hotel here in Portland -Sabrina
Oh you're here? -Blake
Yeah-Sabrina
Cool -Blake
Yeah what about you? -Sabrina
Just playing video games, bored out of my mind -Blake
I'd rather be bored than cold -Sabrina
You're cold? -Blake
Yeah the sheets are cold as hell -Sabrina
But you would think that Hell would be hot instead of cold? -Blake
Shut up -Sabrina
Hey maybe I can warm you up -Blake
Oh yeah right, as if you would come all the way to some hotel that I'm in and my mom would be okay with some boy sleeping next to me -Sabrina
I'm serious here, you're sleeping in the same room? -Blake
That does sound nice, but now my body temperature is warming up a bit and yes, but Queen size beds, even we need our space after being around each other for 17 years -Sabrina
Okay, yeah I started wanting space away from my mom when I was 9 -Blake
That was when I started sleeping in the Living Room -Sabrina
You slept in the Living Room? -Blake
I still do, ever since Mom and I moved out over 3 years ago, I moved out of one Living Room to sleep in another Living Room -Sabrina
Damn I'm sorry -Blake
Eh I'm used to it, so how's your place? -Sabrina
It's really nice actually, I'm gonna be doing a tour of my apartment soon on Snapchat -Blake
I'll be on the lookout for that -Sabrina
I have work in the morning. So I'll see you soon? -Blake
Yeah sure thing, good night Blake -Sabrina
Night Sabrina -Blake
It would be nice to have a familiar face around here, although it's gonna be hard to not only know where he currently lives, but to also find a route to my Grandparents' or my Dad's. I went to sleep finally even though I was cold, but eventually it did warm up.
The next morning, Mom and I got up to get ready for the family reunion, I know my mom may not be part of the family, but my Grandparents still love her, even after all the shitty things that she put up with Alan. She put on Cut offs, a Blue T-Shirt and put her hair up in a low ponytail as I put on a pair of Jeans and a Black Tank Top with a light Cardigan jacket and Black and White Converse. We got Breakfast at Starbucks and as we were looking outside, I noticed her nervous tics, i asked her,"You nervous Mom? Seeing him?"
"Yeah" She's still not in love with my Father, he actually made her feel like worthless, he'd get mad at her whenever she was only talking to her friends, relatives, coworkers who were male, she had 4 miscarriages and the first one was terrible, even her coworker, Cindy knew that she never called in sick, so there was something and she was the first person to know about her first miscarriage while my Dad was in Barbados for "Business" When Alan found out, he got mad at her, as if it was her fault, but the cause of it was her stress with him. She had a successful pregnancy and then I was born, when I was younger like 8 years old, she told me that I could've had 3 older Brothers and a younger Sister and she buried them side by side,"Did you ever name them?"
"No"
"Can I name them?" She was driving the car, she thought about and she said yes. Their names are James, Peter, Clark and Padme; I basically named them from Star Trek, Spiderman, Superman and Star Wars, but she was the one that showed me all those movies, so she liked them too. I made my peace with having siblings who passed away, but some days I imagine what would like be like, some days, imagine that I end up moving in with one of them because of all the Bullshit that's happening within my family or look out for my little Sister, who she can come to for advice about Boys and/or Girls. Anyways we stopped by the nearest Starbucks, she took a drink of her coffee, tapping her finger on the table, looking out the window as the sun was rising, Bikers coming by, people having their Morning Jog, I don't know why, I just kept hoping that Blake would go around the corner and my stomach would have butterflies just for seeing him, knees going weak, I would be so happy that we would hug and just talk about anything, I would just forget the Family Reunion and just spend time with him....but he never did. It was almost time for Lunchtime, so Mom and I just started walking along the River, while she was taking pictures, I began thinking about someone else, no one in particular, I know I'm at the age where it would be nice to be with someone who can find ways to make me smile, I also imagined that the one that I'm with would have dark hair, brown or hazel eyes, taller than me like 5'10 or 5'11, but that was all I can see, the specifics on the facial features were undetermined, so I never really got obsessed with who would fit that description, it was just the simple description.
We started seeing Swans and little Ducklings walking around the park, it was really nice actually, you know this place always bring me so much joy, it's like around every corner, there's a new surprise, whether it's bad or good, it's Portland. Before you know it, it was around 2:45 and we needed to go back to the car to go to this Family Reunion; She got lost, so did I then we ended up yelling at each other, well her more than me, I'm still trying to keep calm for this situation, but eventually we made it and there was my Dad having his cigarette and he threw it on the ground, came over to the driveway when we pulled in,"Sabrina, it's so good to see you" He hugged me and of course, I had to hug him back and his Doctor Wife, Katherine Bratton, came walking down the front porch,"So good to have you here" She said to me and I said the same to her, my mom came around the car, opened the trunk,"So you excited to spend time with your pops? Fetch my slippers"
"I thought that's what Kate did that" She laughed and nudged him a bit when he looked down and scratched his nose, my mom came over and Alan hugged her, I can just see the uncomfortable expression on her face, but she fought it for today,"And one of her friends, Blake can spend time with her, her curfew can be 10pm and Blake is a good boy. They met during Wrestling in Middle school and I have met him, he's a good boy" He nodded as he crossed his arms across his chest, "What's his story?" Oh god, my mom doesn't know this, so she looked over at me and I do remember little aspects of what he told me,"Blake and his parents is a little similar to us. His Dad left and his mom was left to take care of him. He got a job over here in Portland to spend more time with his Dad ever since he was 13. He was in Wrestling and now he's in Football and Basketball, well it's just Basketball now, he's going to Portland University" He nodded as a way of 'I'll think about it' which Mom got the message so she repeated it,"Like I said before, Blake is a good boy, out of all the other boys that she's told me about, Blake has been the one that has stuck around the most" Surprisingly, Alan got to at least have a say in my curfew and check in with those who want to hang out with me in the future while I'm here
I came in bringing my bags and Alan came in,"We're currently redecorating the guest room, so you'll have to sleep on the couch" Yeah well what else is new? I spent majority of my life sleeping in Living Rooms so why would this be any different? I nodded and set my Duffel bag down by the couch,"Grandma's in her room and Grandpa is doing a Grocery run before the big event, is your mom gonna be here for it?" I put my hands in my back pockets and shrugged when she walked,"Uh I don't know, Mom, do you want to erm stay here for the Radcliffe Reunion?" Kate was in the kitchen and Alan looked at her as I made a facial expression that was practically begging her to stay,"Yeah sure, I'm not ready to go back to the house anyway" I sighed in relief on the inside, so she sat on the couch as I walked into the bedroom,"Grandma Priscilla? Are you in here?" She walked out of the bathroom and walked to me,"Sabrina! Wasn't expecting you to come here so soon"
"Well my mother and I like to be prompt, plus she knew I couldn't wait any longer to see you and Grandpa" I smiled as I said it, her face was glowing up, even with all the wrinkles, she still looks beautiful,"Well Grandpa Clifford went to go and get some more things for the Family Reunion" She sat on her side of the bed and sighed,"As much as I want to see all my Grandkids, I just don't think I have enough energy" I sat next to her,"Yeah I don't think Mom has enough energy for this"
"You know, I do love Kate, but...not as much as I love your Mom, Clifford feels the same way too" There were times in my life where I imagined that my parents could at least have a normal life with me, but I think how their relationship was before and 5 years after I was born was what made me always prepare for the worst because Alan always made promises to me, but never lived up to them or when he said that he was coming, he never did and came up with some lame excuse but it was good enough to make a 7 year old cry,"How's your Mom been? Is she still working at that Police Department?"
"No she quit a few years ago, but she's got a job at the Casino" She nodded and Mom came in, hugged her and I walked out as I said,"Okay I'll leave you two to have some girl time" I walked out and Kate asked me for help
A couple hours later, relatives came in, it was one family after another, there was just more relatives to add to my list that I didn't know until now. "Sabrina, these are your cousins, Will, Carter and Hunter, guys this is your cousin, Sabrina, she's going to be a Senior in High School"
"What's up?" We all greeted each other and talked for a bit, Will is currently living in Washington D.C., Carter lives in Montana who drove his Dad all the way out here for this and Hunter is living all the way in Arlington which is pretty far from here, but for now, he's with his Mom. "So Sabrina, what do you plan on doing after you graduate?" I was slouching on the couch and smiled as ai shrugged,"I don't know really. Well there's acting, but phbt I dunno, lately I've been getting into writing for some reason, but other than that, still figuring shit out" Will nodded and said,"I feel that, I don't understand why we're all expected to automatically know what we're going to do after High School"
"Yeah that's true, I didn't think I'd want to become an Engineer and here I am, going to College to pursue it" Carter said to me and Hunter did say that he is going to be a Video Game Designer, going to school soon. Out of all the other relatives, those 3 actually became one of my favorites.
After everything that happened that night, it did feel odd being there bit at the same time, it was fun because I actually gained 3 cousins who I can actually trust and have a good time with. Around Dinnertime was when my mom was going back to the house, she did remind Alan about me being able to hang out with Blake again,"And if she mentions any other friends, you can come to me for confirmation, but most of the time, she's honest"
"Ookay, so if this Blake wants to hang out with you sometime, I would like to meet him" Oh God, years of him not being Dad, now he wants to be one even after he just heard what Mom said about him, I nodded politely and said to him,"And I'll let him know that" Will came over and asked me,"Hey, this 4th of July, we're gonna be having Fireworks down at Theo's place, he couldn't make it to the Family Reunion today, but he's allowing all 4 of us to set them off, wanna join?" Alan heard and put his arm around me,"Yes she may go, but be sure to bring her home, there's no curfew for now. You're family, so I know I can trust you"