Chapter Twenty-Nine•Crime ✝️ Punishment
Grunting, moaning, gripping onto the blankets, that's all I can't get out of my head when I was on the couch alone watching a rented VHS tape, I was watching Stir Crazy movie with my legs crossed, I wasn't even paying attention to the movie. Completely spaced out and just wishing I can get it out of my mind, it was something that happened a few days ago and now lately I just wish I can live another life, leave this body and just start over. That annoying voice echoed through the that tiny hallway,"I thought I told you to do the dishes" Now she's trying to act like a mother, when I'm close to becoming an adult,"Did you fucking hear me? I thought I told you to do the dishes, is it that hard?"
"I was surprised that you had enough energy to lift a big heavy plate to that huge cupboard that's so high to reach" She folded her arms against her chest and started tapping her index finger,"Want me to call Cliff?" Touching,"Or Tom?" Grunting,"Burt?" Hair pulling,"Ray" Panting,"Or…..Stuart?" Whimpering, on the inside, I was terrified to the bone of who she's going to call, they were all the same, but different. Maybe at first I was okay with it, but I knew it wasn't going to feel good and even when I try to fight it, they get more aggressive and my mother thinks that they're disciplining me, but she doesn't know that this is what they do to me and me wanting to tell her makes me feel sick to my stomach and feels like she'll hate me even more. There was a silent moment between us and she went to the phone,"Cliff it is"
Grunting, moaning lightly, gripping onto the blanket, silently whimpering and tears coming out, Cliff pushing me down on the edge of the bed while he's thrusting into me, I was on my period then, so when I felt a cramp coming, it seemed like he knew, so he just went harder that just made the pain more unbearable in my lower abdomen. Every thrust into me was just a step closer to wishing that I was dead, it hurt so much that I wanted to scream bloody murder, but I wasn't going to let a peep out for his benefit. He was panting then grunted, but I didn't even bother to look back at him, I just wished that maybe I can leave this body and live another life,"I'm done" I slowly reached for my pants and underwear from the floor and he asks,"Now you need to respect your mother, is that clear?" I nodded and he smirked, God if I wasn't going into shock then maybe I would slap him, hell even punch him, kick him into a bloody pulp. His pants and belt were clinking as he was pulling them up, he smirked at me..
Don't even smirk at me Cliff, this will get worse for you buddy; I sat on the side of my bed, making a plan to burn these sheets and this blanket as he walked out of my bedroom. Minutes later, my own mother comes in with a cigarette in her hand,"Did he give you a good talking to?" I slowly nodded,"And what did he tell you?" I took a deep breath without having to stagger so much and said softly,"Don't talk back to Mother" It's been something I have kept in the back burner in case she asks me that,"And?"
"She gave birth to you, so Mother knows best" But she doesn't know best, she asked practically a stranger to discipline her own daughter so she doesn't have to do it, she nodded and petted my hair,"Good, I always knew I could count on him. Now vacuum the Living Room floor" I nodded again then I started thinking about what I was about to tell Dani when Cliff walked into the room while I was changing, I covered myself up as he was coming up to me from behind,"You know….if you were 18 right now, I would definitely trade in for a younger model" As he was running his hand up and down my side then he left just like that.
When I was vacuuming the living room, I forgot that Cliff was still here, mainly because I heard my own mother screaming from upstairs, but they were more of happy screams, I groaned by the sound of what's coming from upstairs, so I went and turned on the TV to drown out that noise and even though the living room floor was clean, but I was still vacuuming to drown out the noise. I stopped to put my hair in a ponytail, well thanks to MTV for playing loud music, they must know that my mother is screwing a pervert. While doing my chores, Cliff came back downstairs and he chuckled,"Nice to know a good ass runs in the family" He grabbed it and smacked it that give me a feeling of uncomfortable and anger when he touched me without my permission again, that set me off that I actually had this tremendous amount of courage to take a swing at him. The 6ft 165 pound man was taken down by a 5'5 115 pound girl, my heart was pounding so hard. Before I knew I grabbed his hair and pulled it so I can harshly whisper into his ear,"Don't ever touch me like that ever again" I dropped it and he groaned, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and there was my mother in her robe. She was shocked by tr he fact that her boyfriend was on the floor, she stood there,"What the hell just happened down here?"
"Something that you don't know" Cliff got up, massaged his jawline, looked up at me,"Get upstairs" Those 2 words I absolutely hated, I shook my head and ran out of the house that turned this running away into a chase and after a few blocks, I was so focused on just getting away from him, I nearly got hit by a car, but luckily I backed up and that driver cursed at me. I turned around and he was gone, but I was still going to keep running and I knew where to go. I showed up to this house, a nice fence, just tall enough for dogs to not hop over, a house that looked clean, it was a light green house, 2 Stories; I thought I could walk up to the house and knock on the door, a colored older woman opened the door,"May I help you?" She looked at me very suspiciously, I had to gather my thoughts and asked,"I-Is Yvonne here?" She nodded and called out to her, Yvonne walked downstairs and saw me,"Hey, come on in" I thanked her and Yvonne introduced me to her parents, 2 brothers and sister before she brought me upstairs.
We went into her bedroom and it was surprisingly colorful, she shut and locked the door,"So I see you still kept that address that I gave you?"
"No I had it memorized" She raised her eyebrows as an expression of shock,"Yeah I know, no matter how much of alcohol and drugs I can take, my memory is still intact. For now" She chuckled in amusement and I sat down at her desk as she sat on her bed,"I would've cleaned this room up if you had given me a head ups by calling"
"Yeah I know, but I just had to get...out of there" I resisted trying to breathe so quivering, I tried not to change my breathing patterns and she knew something was wrong, she came over to me and kneeled in front of me,"What is it? Was it your mom again?" I was looking down and when I looked up, my eyes were turning because of tears and nodded,"Her, Cliff and…." I sighed and gestured,"What happened?" I was scared to tell her, even before I was thinking of telling her, my heart was pounding, I was playing the outcomes in my head, I kept thinking of falling, I never knew why, but its always been what terrified me the most, fear of falling and I had a feeling that if I tell her, I would fall to rock bottom,"Cliff took advantage of me, my mom can't or won't discipline me, so he calls Cliff or some other guy that she knows and they…" I covered my mouth and tears just streamed down my face as I was seeing the facial expressions changing on her face from disappointment to sympathy to absolute disgust of what they do to me,"Why didn't you tell anyone about this?" I shrugged and said as my voice was breaking,"I don't know, I felt like I couldn't tell, speak a word about this to anyone"
"How long has this been going on? Has it been recent? Days, weeks….months?" I swallowed a lump down my throat,"2 Years" She gasped lightly and hugged me,"This is Pedophilia here, you need to go to the Police, I'm sure they'll help you. I'll drive you, we'll get this all worked out" I denied and said,"No, no, no what if they'll get mad? Hurt me? Or worse?"
"Fuck them, they got themselves into this mess, if your mom didn't know about this and I'm sure that she'll learn to be more selective of her men, she has to take your side on this" I thought about it again, maybe for the first in my entire fucking life, I should make the right choice,"I'll do it" I said softly and hesitantly, she sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear,"And...if all goes to absolute shit, you can always come here, you know where my room is at if you don't feel like knocking on the door"
"Thank you"
"And you can stay here, I'm not letting you go back there and even if my parents know about this, they won't let you either. I know I talk shit about them, but in the end, they're always family" I envied her for having a normal family, even though their arguments can always end so badly, they're still there for each other. She said that I can sleep in her bed and she can just sleep on the floor, she insisted.
The next day, she asked her mother to borrow the car,"I only told her that we're going to Lunch with the girls and go to the mall. We can go there to get your mind off of what's going on" I thanked her as we got in the car,"I know you're doing the right thing. I don't want you going back to that house knowing that it'll happen again"
"Thank you" I appreciated Yvonne taking action on this, I never knew why this feeling came over and made me want to go there, but now I know, it was because Yvonne was more than just a friend at school and a drinking buddy, she treats her friends like family no matter what. When we showed up to the Police Station, we pulled into the parking lot and just even seeing those officers coming in and out of the station, I was hesistant, it was as if my whole body froze, my arm was on the arm rest and she held my hand,"I'm here with you, it'll be okay" We walked into the station and this woman was at the desk,"May I help you?" Hours later, they found him and Interrogation for raping a minor, in a way Yvonne was a witness and mom was also interrogated, she didn't know about the guys who were taking advantage of me, it was scary, but at the same time, it was a relief like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and then I went home.
"My Cliff would never do that to you! You're a filthy liar and now he's in Jail because of you!" She was gesturing around while pacing in the living room while I was standing at the bottom of the staircase completely still,"No he's in jail because he was fucking me without permission when you thought he was disciplining. This is on you! You don't know how to be a mother!"
"This shit again?!" She rolled her eyes and turned around,"Yes, this shit again and I'm gonna keep bringing this up until you get your shit together"
"Maybe you lead him on, you're almost legal, you're beautiful, so you think that you can just screw an older guy before you even turn 18" I exhaled sharply and walked up the stairs until I started hearing these footsteps behind me, I knew she was getting closer so I walked faster then her pace began matching mine,"Get back here! We're not done talking!" I slammed the door in her face and placed my chair underneath the doorknob,"Get your ass back out here!" She slammed on the door, yelled, but I just ignored it, so I went into my closet, grabbed clothes for a few nights and went out the window then climbed down the ivy. I walked down the streets when it was close to nighttime, I went to the same house,"Hey, what's wrong?" My eyes were red, nose turned color and my breathing patterned changed after crying and even when I was trying to take a deep breath, it was hard, I sniffled,"She's getting worse"
"Oh hon, come here" She hugged me, lead me in and closed the door