Well here is my life now as Sabrina, let's see, I was incredibly shy in 6th Grade, I didn't really talk to anyone, I actually used to sit at the lunch table on my own for a while there. I used to have a flip phone where I could listen to music. When I was younger, my father was barely around so my mother ended up taking care of me which ended up making me stronger as I grew older. My father would drop in from time to time, it was all fun and all until the day he has to leave and I would just end up crying while my mother has to comfort me. As soon as 6th Grade started, like every kid in school, almost up for anything that catches their interest. The first few months, majority of the kids thought that I was a boy, because I had side burns that somehow showed before the other boys' in my grade showed, my voice was deeper than the other girls and the fact that I dressed like a boy most of the time, so basically I was a tomboy. I dressed like one, I ran like one, but I couldn't catch a ball for shit. One morning I went to go to the bathroom after feeling like I was fat half the night and then it happened: the beginning of puberty, I knew it had to happen eventually, I had the whole talk and with my mother walking me through so at that point, I wasn't even shocked surprisingly. So as time went on, I started to feel nervous like I was afraid to be in a crowd, but I started listening to music off my Discman since my mother refused to buy me a touchphone, so i started listening Bee Gees, music from the 80s at first and then I started expanding my taste in music. I really didn'y exactly know when I was younger, but I always liked watching John Travolta movies, I liked watching movies from the 70s and 80s, I became a sucker for those decades, but I felt more connected with more than the movies and music, it was a feeling I couldn't explain then, but I am one of those people that say,"Fuck it, I'm just going with it" I ended up getting over my anxiety and talked to one of the girls I met at this store and she really did seem sweet, she was the same as I was, so I wasn't totally alone. So as 6th Grade went on, there was this paper on the bulletin board about Wrestling and I had to call from the office to ask for permission from my mother because something was pulling me to that sport for Winter and so i got her approval, I signed up for it and seems like I wasn't the only good that signed up for Wrestling, I also found out that Wrestling wasn't like WWE, but it didn't really bother me since I wanted to learn, it honestly didn't really matter if I was in a sport for boys, something was pulling me to that sport for some reason, I didn't know, but I was gonna go with it.
As 6th Grade was continuing on endlessly, more breakouts, awkward transitions and constantly being insecure about my body, I was still looking forward to Wrestling, I wasn't really trying to get my hopes because what if it's something that I expected, well guess what? It wasn't what I expected, it was brutal and on top of that, I was really out of shape, I was so far behind that I was somewhat beating myself up over it and when we were forced to do relay races, I was picked last because I was so far behind during the jog, but I surprised them with the relay when my team was behind and I beat the other team, since then the boys kinda argue on who gets me and in the end, I became the only girl on the Wrestling. And of course like every girl in Middle School, they always fall for a guy who is completely out of their league and how do they know that? Because he has a girlfriend, yes I fell for a guy during Wrestling Season, the guy was almost 6ft, he was athletic, he had the best hoodies, he had the flippy hair and most of all, he was handsome, but handsome enough to have a girlfriend and he was in 7th Grade and like every other girl who has a hopeless crush on a guy, she becomes heartbroken, but Wrestling was definitely an opportunity to see him for 2 hours, but also made me hate myself so much that I actually listened to Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson whenever I saw him. Of course I did push myself to try to be better, but one thing to know, I was a good runner, but a bad wrestler, I got myself pinned almost each time and one time, one guy actually had his hand up my shirt, but I felt violated, so I wore a spandex shirt so my sports bra didn't show and the guys wouldn't see me as a girl, but one of the guys because that is honestly how I felt each day and wearing what they wore actually made me feel comfortable. "Gentlemen and Lady, we are gonna roll up these mats for the Basketball Game tonight here at the school, so get moving!" We worked as a time as our Coach told us what to do and so far, wasn't so bad
There was one problem though, when I came out, my mother was late for picking me up and I was cold, it was the Basketball Game, I was about to go back inside and that same guy that I have a hopeless crush on,"Those doors lock" I slightly groaned and went to the doors,"You also have to pay to get in" Then i groaned louder and leaned against the pillar that wasn't too far from him,"I've been here a few times before you know, this" I nodded and of course my awkward self said,"I came for track meets for the elementary schools" A few minutes later, he introduced himself,"I'm Bryson"
"I'm Sabrina" He nodded as his ride came and he said later to me and moments later, my ride came and from that moment on, my crush's name was Bryson and I knew that this was a moment that I was never gonna forget. Maybe Middle school isn't gonna be as bad as I thought it was gonna be.
When I found out that he had a girlfriend, it was really hard for me to contain it. I felt like I wasnt breathing every time I saw him, it kinda made me suffocate every time I saw him and also knowing that he was gonna be in High School soon because he was in 7th Grade then, every day with him during Wrestling just made everything more precious, but it was also knowing that he had a girlfriend and that he was going to dances with her. I used to envy her for being with someone like him and especially with a boy who can clearly see that she's the most beautiful girl in his eyes and that he would do what he can to never let her go