"It was a necessity," Kael said, looking me in the eyes with an unwavering gaze. He turned away, continuing, "It's a choice you made. To be a Guardian Angel. Thus, you lost your memories as a price."
"Wait, but didn't you just said that my memory loss was unexpected? Then what does it mean it's my choice?" I frowned as I pressed further, my confusion only to have deepened.
Kael's voice was indifferent as he replied calmly, "To be one is to change. A human can't just so easily become an Angel like that. That's why, 'Abandon your humanity'. Something needed to change. As a sort of adjustment. That was the condition. But what exactly it is that changed varied for each person. That's why I said that it was unexpected."
"You agreed to becoming a Guardian Angel. As such, you needed the 'adjustment' to become a proper Guardian Angel. This adjustment just happens to be the loss of a year's worth of memories. Well, it's possible for there to be other 'adjustments' made but for now, I don't particularly see any other difference in you."
Narrowing my eyes, I went into deep thoughts. After a few seconds of silence, I raised the question that arose in me, "So, you're saying that the loss of my memories was a necessity for me to be able to act as a proper Guardian Angel? Why exactly is that? How could losing my memories means I'll do a better job?"
Kael shrugged his shoulders, helplessly breathe out, "It's not like I know everything. Perhaps it's because of what transpired during that time frame? It was probably determined that you're better off without it. At least from what I can see, you seem much better now compared to before."
At his words, I turned over a quizzical expression, "What do you mean? Better, how? I don't particularly feel any different than how I usually am?"
"If that's what you think, then I guess it's fine? When I first met you a few days ago, the feeling you gave out was more... Sigh, forget it. It's probably better if you don't know. At least, not now," As Kael calmly replied to me, the end of his sentence gradually turned to more of a mutter.
Having said as much, he looked at me and continued, "Your memories won't return. At least not when you're still not ready for it. Depends on your growth, you might never be able to remember it. That said, I don't know if remembering is going to be good for you."
I nodded my head at Kael's explanation. A part of me understood but a part of me is still confused, not understanding the exact meaning of his words. "Kael, do you know how I died? You said special circumstances is needed to become an angel. Does that mean I died unusually?"
"How you died, huh..." he muttered, looking a bit distracted for a moment, "It was indeed unusual. You died before your lifetime was supposed to end. It was an unscheduled death. Sorry, but I can't tell you more than this. It would probably defeat the whole purpose of the 'adjustments'."
Kael looked dead serious when he said so. Deciding it better to comply, I switched to another matter bothering me, "Adjustments... You said about it deciding what needs to be changed and when I'm ready and such. What exactly does that mean? Who, exactly, decides that for me?"
Seeing me complying without pressuring on, Kael slightly widened his dead eyes, "That's... an easy question. In essence, it's your subconscious. You were given a pill, to act as a catalyst. And once consumed, it'll start analysing your subconscious, deciding what is needed for you to act as a proper Guardian Angel and what sort of change in you is required."
"It'll also provide you with the basic knowledge of a Guardian Angel. So when the time comes, you'll instinctively know the corresponding information needed. That's also why you don't have a 'mentor' and had me, who is an Angel of Death, sent here as your supervisor instead. All I really needed to do is make sure you're not causing any potential trouble from the effects of the catalyst. It isn't something that could be predicted, after all."
"So, that's the assist part?" I suddenly grew a bit curious as I asked, "Just asking, but what exactly would you do if I did ran berserk and cause trouble?"
Towards my question, Kael made a blank face and bluntly told me, "I would first confirm the situation and attampt to correct you. However, if it all fails, I'd just strike you down? Typically, an Angel who'd act that way despite having 'adjustments' done to them are pretty much hopeless cases. There's no saving them."
"Uh... What do you mean when you said you'd just strike me down? Like literally strike me?"
"I am an Angel of Death. I reap souls. I did say you're still in probational, right? Probational angels aren't truly angels yet. They're like... half angels? Something like that. Anyway, once I determined you're unfit to continue as an angel, I have the authority to reap your soul like a normal human. In short, a second death," he replied nonchalantly looking down at his hands.
With another question popping up in my mind, I asked, "Then... when does the probation end? Since you told me this, that means I'm safe, right?"
He glanced over, "Well, yeah. The fact that you're being tame right now is usually a sign that it's fine. Although, even if it isn't, it's not like you can escape either. Worse case scenario, you'd be hunted down by thousands of other Angels of Death. A lunatic did that before. His tragic end isn't something to be spoken of either. Worse of all, it just worsen his situation for no reason. Had he stayed still, he would have just have his memory as an angel wiped and returned like all the other human souls."
"As for the matter of when the probation is going to end, that's for the catalyst to decide. When you're ready, it'll naturally dissolve and disappear from your system. It'll also naturally return your lost memories. I suppose you could consider that thing as a mentor of sorts."
"I guess that means I have to do my best as a Guardian Angel then. So that my soul wouldn't end up being reaped," laughing bitterly, I also thought that I also don't have to worry too much about my lost memories as it'll definitely return in due time.
'As long as I don't fail as a Guardian Angel that is...'
"Like I said, don't worry too much about it. At least, from what I can see, you're doing pretty good already. Although, to be honest, I was pretty shocked when earlier today, you acted like you're running amok," Kael casually comforted me when he said something rather disturbing at the end.
"Eh? What do you mean by that? I don't remember doing anything of the sort...?"
Glancing at me, Kael sighed, "This morning, slightly before dawn break, you were flying all over the house and even attempted to break out of the barrier. I was still in the area at the time, so I could see you. I figured I should observe you first before deciding on whether or not to take action."
'Barrier? What barrier?' As I thought to myself, Kael continued on.
"Afterwards, you even went and jumped off of the car like a suicidal maniac, smiling like that. That moment, I was honestly seriously considering whether or not to just strike you down. It never really occurred to me that you might have lost your memories though. I only managed to rein myself in before striking you when I saw that you're properly dealing with the Naves."
Sweating profusely, I honestly thank the heavens that I managed to escape experiencing a second death. I felt very glad that Kael decided to observe me first before striking. With how I had behaved, I must really seem like someone bound to cause trouble.
"I'm feeling extremely grateful for your gracious heart for not striking me down the moment I started acting weird and for observing me first," I felt the need to express my appreciation to him in words.
"Yeah, you better. I was THIS close to striking you and just be done with it," he replied, making a gesture with his hand of how near to experiencing my second death I was at the time.
'But it's not like it could be helped! I was clueless! I lost my memories!'
As I tried to justify my actions inwardly, I asked Kael a few words that has eluded me, "Kael, what do you mean by barrier? And the 'Naves'?"
Kael raised his eyebrows, answering me, "Well, in anticipation of your change due to the catalyst, I set up a barrier at the house to make sure you won't ran off to cause trouble while I was away. I just did what I had to. Also, I already informed you of the barrier I placed... And of course you don't remember that either..."
He once again trailed off on his words with a helpless sigh.
"Urgh... and the 'Naves'...?" I asked a bit guiltily, feeling a bit bad for losing my memories.
Kael continued on with resignation, "Naves are, simply put, those black slime like things you killed at the Kindergarten. Those pesky things are all over the place. Although I'm honestly surprised you'd find so many of them at a kindergarten."
"Why?" I asked simply.
"Those things basically feeds on negative feelings. They're an embodiment of negative energies to begin with. When there's a certain amount of negative feelings clustered together, they'll eventually took form and became that, the Naves. Considering that, don't you find it weird that there's so many of them at a kindergarten? Where most of the people there are only children who knew nothing of worries?"