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So, we got up and paid. He paid for me, for dozen kilos of meat I ate. I can pay my own food, I'm not a girl, I said. But he just laughed it off.
"From today onward, you're my girl."
How could.. How could a man keep their straight orientation after you showed them this smile?? Well, it was not the first time I fell in love with a man, but, senior..
I just turned gay all over again because of you. Right, screw my dignity! For you, I'll be your girl.
"Do you have siblings?" he asked me on the way.
"Yes, a little sister," I replied.
"I want to see your family."
I choked. "Senior, if you meet my family, I'll be replaced of the son's position."
He laughed. "I want you to be kicked out. So you can join mine. I'll give you a new position."
D-Did he mean — "Join your family..?"
His hand brushed the back of my hand. Suddenly, I could feel that we were sharing warmth. Slowly, our pinkies intertwined, then the other fingers too — until we properly hold each other's hand. He looked at me straight in the eye.
"Which one do you prefer? House-keeping department or security department?"
I smacked his shoulder impulsively. How could he joke like this! The mood was getting better too! Look at him laugh! Well, let him laugh, he didn't laugh much. I reached the page I torn in the library earlier, and while he laughed, I sneakily tucked the paper in his backpack. Looked like I didn't have enough time to go to the post office anymore. Laugh a lot, okay? Even after I've gone.
Damn, why didn't I confess earlier? Knowing that he liked me too? Why must I do this only after I found out I'll die soon? People really loved procrastinating, didn't they? Only until they knew they just had one last chance, only then they really gave their all. Was it because they didn't have to worry about the future anymore? Not worrying whether they had to save face, not worrying what to do next day because they would depart from this world?
I could see the future, but that didn't stop me from worrying. Even worse, the more you know, the more you felt insecure. When you knew a bit, you would want to know more and more. When I realized I got this ability back then, I felt the same way. Only after I met the fighter inside Coloseum ring who didn't care about his future, continuing to fight for his life despite my warning, I came to realize something.
What was the point of worrying about the future? Right now you lived in this very moment. Of course, like I said earlier, you have this moment, but what you treasured was the information of the future. Like I was, now that I knew what was my future, I came to treasure this very moment I had with senior. Yeah, who am I to talk about other people? I am a damn procrastinator myself.
Now I began to wonder, what if I confessed to senior earlier? Would the future be different? Would I have not die? Would I get a future where senior and I really join in as a family? Sure, time of death is definite, but other than that, everything could change. Maybe, maybe, we could start a family earlier, senior, if I confess to you earlier.