Chereads / I'm dead without you / Chapter 26 - Too much!

Chapter 26 - Too much!

Awkward and weird. That was the only way for Dorian to describe the whole situation he found himself in. The man was sitting down on their big sofa, facing Finian, who was sitting in the armchair, while Shiro sat on the other side of the couch. The younger man was clenching his hands in his knees, and Dorian could see that he was trembling. The poor man looked terrified.

The alpha had no idea of what to do with himself. Eamon and Caomhie were at their grandparents, so the adults could talk without being disturbed. It had been Finian's idea. He had come back to London one hour ago and told Dorian not to pick them up at the airport. It would be better if Dorian waited at home for them, Finian said. And when the two arrived, Finian only gave Dorian a quick hug and nothing more. Sure, Dorian understood him. Finian was considerate of Shiro, but still. Dorian had missed his beloved and wanted to hold him in his arms. It felt like Finian rejected him, and that hurt Dorian deeply.

And being face to face with Shiro again brought forth a lot of complicated feelings within the blond man. As soon as Dorian laid his eyes on the shorter, black-haired man, it felt like his temperature rose. He could smell the soothing scent that only Shiro released, and Dorian wanted to hold him as well. And that made him feel so bad about himself. Everything was enough to make Dorian feel like he was on the verge of having an anxiety attack.

"I have talked to your parents, and they said that Shiro could stay at the Westminister apartment. No one is going to use it for a while anyway," Finian said and gazed with a stern look, straight at his husband.

"So when Shiro's heat comes, you can bond there."

Dorian stared shocked at his husband. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and quickly he stood up, shaking his blond head.

"No, no, stop. Just stop! We're not doing this. I understand that you want to help, Finian, but I can't. Not like this. This is just too much."

Finian looked at him with an expression Dorian knew all too well. Finian was in his psychiatrist mode, and right now, he was analyzing Dorian's behaviour. The blond alpha forced himself to keep calm, and he glanced at Shiro. The black-haired man was pale. He stared straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular and probably wishing that the sofa would open up and swallow him whole.

"Shiro, I'm sorry, but how about you go to my parent's place for now, and I will send you a text tomorrow morning?"

Shiro flinched surprised when he heard Dorian say his name, and as he turned his gaze towards his fated pair, both of them felt like an electrical surge went through them. Shiro couldn't speak, so he just nodded. And Dorian, to his horrifying shock, knew that he was red in his face. The grown man was blushing like a teenager.

Finian ended the strange mood when he cleared his throat, and Dorian looked at him. Feelings of guilt instantly followed when he saw that Finian had noticed his husband's unusual behaviour.

"I'm going to call a cab when I'm outside," Shiro said and quickly got to his feet.

Shiro turned to Dorian, but his gaze was on the floor.

"Mr McCalliser, please contact me later. And, Finian," Shiro said and faced Finian.

He was looking directly at Finian, and Dorian unconsciously frowned. Feeling a bit displeased that Shiro seemed so at ease with Finian.

"Thank you for all your help," the man said and walked out of the living room, leaving Finian and Dorian behind, staring after him.

After a little while, they heard the front door close, and the married couple looked at each other.

"What the hell are you thinking, Finian!" Dorian exclaimed, both irritated and confused to his husband.

"What do you mean?" Finian replied, glaring back towards the other man.

He was better than Dorian to hide his emotions. Still, Dorian knew that Finian was irritated as well; he could see it in Finian's green eyes.

"I understand your job affects you a lot. And that you want to help me because you're scared that otherwise, I will get hurt. But this feels like your my friend, and you're trying to hook me up with some guy. You are my husband for fuck sake. The love of my life! Aren't you jealous at all?" Dorian yelled, frustrated, his voice shaking.

Finian stared at Dorian for a long time, such a long time that Dorian started to get nervous, and he squirmed there he stood. Then Finan did something that stunned Dorian. He began to cry.

Sure, Dorian had seen Finian cry several times during the years. He might be calm and level-headed most of the time, the more "grown-up" of the two, but Dorian was surprised anyway. Finian had seemed so, annoyingly collected about everything.

But there he was. Crying, leaning forward and hugging himself. It was a heartbroken cry that went straight to Dorian, and it shook him up. Almost in a panic, the blond alpha rushed to Finian, got down on his knees, and put his arms around the man, embracing him tightly.

"How can you say something so stupid?" The red-haired man cried, sobbing against Dorian's chest.

"It feels like I'm fucking dying. Every day, every bloody day, I have to keep myself from falling apart. I'm not jealous? I'm so jealous that I don't know what to do with myself anymore!"

Finian pushed against Dorian's chest, making the larger man fall backwards. Dorian managed to keep himself from falling flat on the floor, and he stared at his husband.

"I'm not an omega! I'm not your fated pair! I'm a big alpha, pregnant and old. I'm just waiting for you to get tired of me and leave me," Finian still cried, but Dorian could hear the frustration in the other man's voice.

Dorian opened his mouth to speak, but Finian shook his head and stared at him.

"I hate thinking about you fucking another man. I hate the thought of you claiming him as yours, but I love you so much, and I can't live without you. So what should I do? Please, Dorian, tell me what I should do. Because either way, I lose!"

Devastated and full of desperation, Finian cried harder again. Dorian sat on the floor, and his chest hurt so badly. He stared at his feet, wishing he could just take Finian and run away. But he was filled with the intense feeling that he no longer deserved Finian.

"I'm so sorry, Finian," he whispered, his voice filled with despair.

"I have failed you. I have made you unhappy, and I promised never to do that."

Finian haltered his crying, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"Dorian," he whispered, so quiet that Dorian could barely hear him.

The blond alpha looked up, his eyes filled with tears.

"Hold me. Please!"

Within a second, Dorian was up on his feet and pulled Finian into his arms, holding him tightly. Finian trembled in his embrace, his forehead resting against Dorian's chest.

"Kiss me."

Dorian didn't hesitate. With his hand, he tilted Finians face upwards. And his chest hurt when he saw the heartbreakingly sad expression his husband had on his beautiful, but tearstained face.

His lips touched Finian's, gently at first, but soon he pressed harder. Finian separated his lips, and Dorian took the opportunity in an instant and slowly licked the inside of Finian's moist lips. Finian moaned, and Dorian's kiss got more passionate. His tongue graced Finian's, and he carefully sucked on it, making Finian shiver. Dorian could feel Finian's member pressed against his stomach. He was hard, but so was Dorian. His dick was so hard it hurt against his far too tight jeans.

Dorian pulled Finian along with him as he stood up and lifted him in his strong arms. Still kissing Finian, who tightly held on to his husband, Dorian walked as fast as he was able to their bedroom and gently put Finian on the bed. Never once did his lips leave Finians, the taste of dark chocolate and coffee was intoxicating, and he never wanted to let go. Finian was naked in only a few seconds, and Dorian slowly started to taste his hot body. The neck, the breast, the nipples. They were a bit swollen, preparing for the baby. Dorian sucked the hard little bud, and Finian moaned out loud, grasping the cover under him.

Dorian licked and sucked on one, and gently played with the other with his fingers. He could feel Finian's precum leak all over his thigh, and Dorian groaned, mouth full of breast. He continued to kiss downwards, the beautiful round belly's skin was extra sensitive, and Dorian was careful. Lovingly kissing it and embracing it with his big hands. It was so sexy with a pregnant man that Dorian leaked like crazy from his aching cock.

Finian moaned and trembled with pleasure under Dorian's passionately caress. And when Dorian took Finian's cock in his mouth, Finian groaned loudly and grabbed hold of Dorian's blond hair.

"That's nice," he moaned, and his hips moved to meet Dorian's warm mouth.

Dorian licked the tip, down the shaft, and carefully sucked on the hard testicles. Finian flinched when Dorian separated the legs wide and kissed the opening, which shivered by the touch. He licked it first carefully, then inserted his tongue, thrusting it inside, working on making the hole soft.

Finian's shivering increased when Dorian switched his tongue to his fingers, and he started to thrust first one finger, then two, three while he sucked hard on Finian's big cock. Finian grabbed hold of Dorian's head, pushing his cock inside Dorian's mouth. Making Dorians groan and his own cock dripped of precum. It felt a little lonely.

Three fingers inside and Dorian found Finian's sweet spot. With a circular motion, he made Finian scream out as he released his hot semen inside Dorian's mouth. Dorian swallowed the tick fluid and licked the member clean, massaging Finian's wet opening.

"Give me your cock," Finian begged, and his gaze was hot.

Dorian, more than eager to obey, pulled off his cloth.

"Suck it," he said and stood on his knees over Finian's chest, his dick pointing at Finian's face.

Finian licked his lips and smirked, making Dorian tremble with delight. The sensation of Finian's tongue on the tip of his cock made Dorian shiver with pleasure. He closed his eyes and fully enjoyed the licking and sucking. His husband tasted his cock like it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted.

"Babe, stop. I'm going to come," Dorian moaned, so close to coming.

Finian stopped and laid down, locking eyes with his panting husband.

"Show me that you are mine!"

Finian's eyes were full of lust, and he was so sexy that he made Dorian's alpha wake up. He growled as he pushed Finian's legs apart, and with a thrust, he penetrated him, making Finian scream out in both pleasure and pain.

Dorian went on like mad. He took Finian deep, his hips slamming into Finian. When Finian's moans started to get louder, Dorian stopped and turned him over, making the red-haired alpha stand on all four. Dorian held on to Finian hips, thrusting into the tight hole.

He felt Finian was getting closer to climaxing, squeezing his hole tighter around Dorian's cock, shaking his hips. Dorian took a firm hold on Finian's dick, and when Finian finally came, Dorian couldn't hold back. He did something he had never done before, something that had never once crossed his mind. Dorian leaned over Finian's quivering back, opened his mouth, and bared his fangs. When he came with a hard thrust, Dorian sank his teeth into the side of Finian's neck, and he marked him. Finian screamed out, not out of pain but pleasure. Dorian tasted blood, and he licked his lips, tasting the warm liquid. Hot coffee and mouthwatering dark chocolate. Finian's taste.

Dorian licked the mark clean and slowly helped Finian to lay down on his side, his hips and lower back hurting. Dorian got on his side, facing Finian, caressing his cheek.

"You marked me," Finian said, his voice light and full of laughter.

"You know that it doesn't work with two alphas."

"I know Babe, but I wanted you. You are mine," Dorian said seriously, his hand carefully caressing the bite mark.

Finian suddenly leaned over Dorian, and first, it felt pleasant when Finian pressed his lips on his neck, but then the feeling turned to pain, and he flinched, grimacing badly. He looked questingly at his husband when Finian sat up and looked at him, smiling.

"And you're mine!" Finian said before he kissed Dorian, taking the other man's breath away.

The two men spent hours in bed, caressing each other, talking, crying, making love. They were sincere, and when they got a call that Eamon and Caomhie were coming back home in one hour, they felt closer to each other than they had been for a very long time. The couple agreed to take it slow and to be honest with each other, no matter what. Finian would leave it up to Dorian to go forth with his relationship with Shiro, and Dorian promised never to keep anything from Finian again.

And both Finian and Dorian felt like they had cleansed themself, starting anew. Their relationship was as strong as ever.

****************************************

Shiro arrived at the apartment, already completely exhausted. And then, when he knocked on the door and an older man with blond hair and friendly smile opened it, Shiro felt like he was ready to succumb to the everlasting darkness. This was beyond absurd. First, the painfully awkward atmosphere with Dorian and Finian, and now this. Standing face to face with Dorian McCallister's father.

The older omega was as tall as Shiro, and he was well dressed in a pair of chinos and a gray shirt.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Shiro. My name is Simon McCallister. Dorian's father."

Simon held out his hand towards Shiro, and slightly hesitant Shiro grabbed it.

"Shiro Nakamura," he introduced himself, his voice filled with uncertainty.

Simon never stopped smiling as he let Shiro into the apartment and showed him around. It was an old Victorian apartment that Simon had inherited from his parents, but he never got to live there. Instead, they kept it, planning to give the apartment to one of their grandchildren.

"It's been two years since anyone lived here, but the whole apartment gets cleaned twice every month, so there shouldn't be any dust at least. The bedclothes are new, and so is the towels," Simon said as he showed Shiro around.

"I took the liberty and filled the kitchen with some basic items. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, thank you. It's a lovely apartment," Shiro said, and so it was.

It was newly renovated, bright, and spacious. Far better planned than Shiro's apartment back home. It was filled with lots of old objects, which caught Shiro's attention, and he stopped and stared at the content on a large bookshelf.

Simon walked up to him, smirking as he saw what Shiro looked at. There were his beautiful Hakata Dolls and a Kabuto helmet he had bought in Japan over twenty years ago.

"The dolls are from the early 1900s, and the helmet is from the Edo period, around 1700. I have more things from Japan at home that I can show you later on."

Shiro glanced at Simon.

"Do you collect antiquities?"

Simon chuckled and nodded.

"Well, it's both a hobby and something I do professionally. I'm a museum curator. And I spend far too much money on old things like this. But I can't help myself. I love things that people create with their own hands. Things that someone has put their hearts into making."

Shiro smiled at the older omega, and Simon flinched, thinking he was talking too much.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bore you with all that."

"No, I don't mind. I find old things interesting, as well. History was one of my favourite subjects in school. When I was younger, and I was tired of being an actor, I imagine myself being an archaeologist. Digging after lost cities and stuff like that."

"Splendid, then we have a lot to talk about," Simon said delighted and clasped his hands together.

"How about some tea?"

Shiro smiled and nodded. He followed the slightly taller man to the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table as Simon prepared the tea. Simon did most of the talking while he brewed the tea in a cattle on the stove. He talked about his visits to Japan, and about Dorian. Shiro listened intensely; his heart felt a lot warmer when he heard the pride and love in Simon's voice when he talked about his oldest son. It was clear that Dorian's parents loved their son. A love that Shiro never received from his own family.

Shiro took the cup that the blond omega offered him and thanked Simon. It was Earl Grey, and Shiro thought it smelled lovely.

"We thought it would be too much for you if both me and Keith were to meet you, but you should know that Dorian's father really wanted to meet you as well."

Shiro blushed and looked down at the cup, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

"I know that Dorian hasn't treated you as he should have, these past weeks, but I hope you will give him one more chance. He's a kind man with a big heart. For Dorian, the people he loves means the world to him, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for his loved ones."

Simon sounded almost pleading in his voice like he desperately wanted Shiro to believe him. But he didn't have to try and convince Shiro of that. Because he already knew.

"I will do my best to get to know him," Shiro simply said and took a sip of the hot tea.

"That's great. And Shiro, I am positive that Dorian will grow fond of you."

"You do?" Shiro sounded surprised, and Simon nodded eagerly.

"Yes, most definitely. I already have, and Dorian is my son after all," Simon said and winked, making Shiro burst out laughing.

Simon joined in. When they had calmed down, the two men slowly drank their tea and talked a little, and when they were done, Simon hugged Shiro and patted the younger man's back.

"I look forward to meeting you again."

"Me too," Shiro said, and he meant it.

Simon said goodbye and left, while Shiro stood in the doorway and gazed after him, with a smile on his lips. He liked the older man. He was friendly and very kind. Shiro felt at ease, knowing that he could get along with at least one of Dorian's parents.

Shiro quickly went to bed after Simon left. He sent a text to Deion, who had remained in Tokyo to deal with some businesses. But the manager planned to come back to London as soon as possible. Shiro then recorded a short video to Ikumi and sent it to her, missing the girl like crazy. And after that, Shiro lay under the duvet, staring at the ceiling.

His mind was racing. So many things had happened. Being brought back by Finian and meeting Dorian again. Oh, just the thought of the blond, tall alpha made Shiro trembled, and he felt his body temperature rise. Every time Shiro saw Dorian, he seemed to become more attractive to him. And he couldn't help but remember the night they shared. There weren't any romantic feelings between them, only raw lust. But Shiro felt like he had caught only a glance of Dorian as a lover, and that got him excited. Shiro wanted to get to know him more. He longed for Dorian to become interested in him. Shiro wanted to see what kind of lover Dorian was to someone he cherished. Was Dorian a gentle lover? Or possessive? Shiro imagined Dorian, and he felt his member getting harder, throbbing. Shiro grabbed his cock in his hand as he closed his eyes. He imagined Dorian's bright smile, his clear blue eyes, and that muscular body. Shiro shivered once again and bit his bottom lip, suffocating a moan. His hand worked fast, it was slippery, and it felt so good. With his other hand, Shiro found his hole and pushed in a finger, the slick making it easy to penetrate. He entered three fingers, but it wasn't enough.

He needed more, something bigger to fill him up completely. He wanted Dorian's big cock. Shiro pushed his fingers, and he stroked his cock. Imagining it was Dorian, his alpha that touched him. Shiro came hard, imagining a pair of blue eyes that looked straight at him. Only at him.