Chereads / sugarcoated painkillers / Chapter 2 - rock bottom

Chapter 2 - rock bottom

Hope isn't for me, it has never been.

Sure, tomorrow is another day, another day to start again

But what if I'm stuck in a loop?

How can I have hope for that

if the only thing that can change it is me and I'm not?

Hope isn't for me

Determination isn't who I am

too small, too afraid

too empty to do anything

What is left to do now?

Inspiration has vanished, the reason unknown

from a small crack it's crawling

But what if it stops?

What if I stay

What if I stay

Empty

Scared

Hopeless.

Nobody seems to know how to help me

just how to help themselves

Why can't I help myself?

Where, I ask

Where is determination? My will to get better?

The inspiration to create, to do

To change tomorrow

To not fall in a loop again?

Hope isn't for me.