I find myself in the light again
blinding, damaging light
but I don't even blink.
should I?
Everything is being.
Everything is doing.
Everything is moving.
Not me.
Did you notice?
Let's dig deeper into this madness
while my mind lets me
A kid is present, not for long
It has opinions, valid ones
It respects and is respected
But the presence is not enough
The opinions are thin
The respect is light
The kid is gone.
Would you even notice?
Well, she does.
For a second the light flickers
I feel weirdly thrown off but it's enjoyable.
Where is the light now?
I feel free for a moment until the light comes again.
but its different now.
It isn't warm, it isn't cold
it's not capturing, it's not weightless.
It's natural.
I dont think twice to let it embrace me and swallow me.
It's finally here.
I didnt ask for it, but it's here
It has always been
and even if I dont deserve it, it will always be.
I didn't need it before
did I?
However now that it's here
now that she's here
I can't imagine what I'd do
if it weren't for this
if I lost her
I'm fucking bad for her
I make her light flicker
but I know that even if it goes out
The core will always be there.