April 1st 20xx

Today was the same as usual. Like any other school day. Going to school to get my education. That's supposedly meant to help prepare me for the future I'm deemed to have.

Most people are excited about their adult future. Or a little scared of going into the unknown.

As for me, I didn't really care what I did with myself in the future. I was dreading it. Like how I'm dreading school right now.

Everyone's usual day is to go to school, go to class and wait excitedly for the last bell of the day to ring. And go forward with their lives outside of high school. As for me, it's different.

Yes, I do obviously go to school to learn just like everyone else. And have social interactions outside of this place.

Like working in a small restaurant. Along with a classmate and coworker Pattie Clarence. I guess I would consider her somewhat of a friend. Or a well-tolerated person who is a real, decent human being. Unlike most of the people in this world. Afterwards, I come home to busy, but caring parents. And a younger sister named Ashley. Who is two grades younger than me at school. Not that you don't know this buddy.

Guess you could say I lived an average, happy little life. However, sometimes even those few positive things in your daily life, aren't always enough to hold you up.

Especially when there's a side to you that no one will ever know about.

Like continuously explaining to your parents and peers how clumsy you are on your bike. Or smashing your head against things because I'm tall. Or what a real talent I have for tripping over flat surfaces. Coming up with anything to explain the black and blue bruises I have.

There are plenty of covers up stories that I've come up with that are believable. Ones that can be used again. At this point, no one even questions it anymore. Even then, I could probably come up with more if I had too.

Sometimes you'll start to believe the excuses yourself after using so many for a long time.

And numbing yourself from the truth is a lot easier to go along with then explaining the truth.

Avoiding the states of pity and disappointment for not coming around sooner;

Plus, coming off as weak for not being able to handle yourself. It's looked down upon for a man to not take care of his own shit. I'd be one pathetic male if I said I needed help. I hope you'd get my point.

After all, I'm writing to you. Not that you'll ever get these. To the point of everything about today's entry is that today has been less shitty than the last few days.

Even if it wasn't, I'd still have to show that I'm not weak or that something is bothering me. I got to appear strong and happy for my family.

Even though it's starting to get harder to maintain the perfect brother and son charade up. It's so hard playing the role of a person you once were.

I'm beginning to not even care anymore. About anything at least.

I think that's all I got to say for now. Until, whenever.

Zeke,