Chapter 15: Consequences
Severus had finally reached his personal lab after getting rid of Granger, or rather, getting rid of her physical presence, because she was still lurking in his mind. Severus had enjoyed seeing how much he had annoyed her; now she knew how it felt to be in the dark. He smirked at her fruitless attempt of intimidation. Now he had the information she wanted. How does that feel, Granger?
That was when he remembered the boy, who would be spending another detention with him in a couple of hours. Severus sighed.
At least these damned detentions were ending, and he would only have to put up with the infuriating boy during classes. That was something to look forward to, certainly, but it did nothing to improve his mood. In fact, he didn't think there was anything that could now, with the prospect of having Hermione Granger at Hogwarts every week.
He took the stirring rod that was resting on the workbench by the side of a simmering cauldron and stirred its contents furiously. Thanks to that afternoon's meeting, this batch of tests wouldn't be ready before he had to supervise his son's detention. Severus cursed.
Thinking while stirring, Severus cursed again and left the potion to rest for the next hour; he knew what he had to do about the detention. He prepared the next ingredients that should be added and went to his office to fetch some books.
Nathan descended to the dungeons as he had done after most dinners this past month. He was not even a little bit enthusiastic about it. In fact, he was so disappointed with Professor Snape these days that he lost his interest in the man's praise in class and was actually hopping the Potions master wouldn't be there for the scheduled detention.
He was one minute early when he reached the classroom door. He waited until it was exactly seven o'clock and tapped at the door three times. There was no answer. He tapped again, louder, and yet no response. Nathan sighed. It seemed a repetition of what had happened the day before.
Nathan looked both sides of the corridor expecting to see the Potions master striding his way with that strong presence, but he didn't.
Wondering what to do, he recalled what had happened when Professor Snape had found him inside the classroom alone and frowned. I'm not going inside just to be told to go away, he thought, and his decision was made. He turned back the way he had come, walking away from his detention.
When it was a few minutes past seven, Severus entered the potions classroom from the side door that connected it to his office to find it empty – Nathan was late. He sat by his desk and read a potions journal while waiting for the boy to show up. Five minutes passed, and nothing; five minutes more, and yet no sign of the boy.
Severus' annoyance at the boy's lateness was being substituted by something else, and he gave up on the text he was reading. Where is he? he thought, finally letting himself name the feeling starting to grow – concern. Severus was concerned that something had happened to his son.
He stood from the desk and walked to the classroom's main door, resolved to look for Nathan and see why he hadn't show up at the appointed time.
He walked through the corridors of the castle as if nothing was amiss. He tried the Great Hall first, but very few students were still there, and Nathan wasn't one of them. Severus went up some floors and reached the library; feigning disinterest, he walked by the tables and aisles, finding only a Ravenclaw prankster from whom he took five points, but not a sign of his son or his Gryffindor friends.
Severus was reluctant to try their Tower, so he tried the same window at which he'd found Nathan after curfew last week… nothing. Severus sighed in annoyance, although he was feeling more than that. Where is this boy? "If I find him just wandering around the castle, I swear he'll regret the day he met me," he murmured as he headed to Lupin's office.
He knocked at the Defense master's door, but got no answer. He cursed, knocked again, and realized that maybe Lupin wasn't back from his weekend in London, where Tonks, his wife, lived. He contorted his lips in disgust for what he knew he would have to do next – enter Gryffindor common room.
He was really irritated now. He stormed the corridors, muttering under his breath. A thought of what could have happened to his son if he wasn't found in the Tower crossed his mind, only adding to his irritation. He barked the teacher's password to the Fat Lady and went through the passage its frame revealed, his black robes billowing after his dark figure.
Those paying attention to the door stopped what they were doing at the Slytherin invasion. The sound in the common room diminished considerably, making those not yet paying attention to the Potions master standing there stop talking as well.
Severus didn't say anything. He just scanned the room with narrowed eyes, and when he saw who he was looking for, sitting with his back to him by a table in the corner, his shoulders relaxed a little. He's here, he thought in concealed relief, but that was not enough to abate his irritation.
He was quickly at Nathan's back, closing the distance with few graceful strides. Kevin, Andy, and some others that were playing Exploding Snap with Nathan had noticed Professor Snape's presence, but not him.
"What is it? It's not my turn," Nathan protested in confusion.
"Enjoying the free time, Mr. Granger?" came the cold voice from behind him, suddenly explaining friends' odd countenances. He stiffened visibly. Professor Snape?
The thought that the Potions master had come to the Gryffindor common room after him was… disturbing. He cautiously turned to face his teacher, and wasn't surprised when his eyes met an enraged Snape.
"Explain why you skipped detention, Mr. Granger," Professor Snape said between gritted teeth.
The whole common room was frozen, watching the exchange.
"I didn't skip detention, sir. I was there at seven, but you didn't answer the door, and I-" Nathan started to explain, but was cut off mid-sentence.
"Ten points from Gryffindor! Now follow me!"
Nathan sighed and followed the man out of the room. He could hear the murmur of commiserations as he passed those gathered there. He wanted to turn and tell them to shut up and to mind their own business, but he held his tongue and just kept following Professor Snape.
Just outside in the hall, Professor Snape turned and faced him again. It seemed as if he wanted to say something, but then he just contorted his face in disgust and started to walk fast in the direction of the dungeons. Nathan could only follow.
I won't back off on this. I've had enough of his temper! Nathan thought, creasing his forehead. He would let Professor Snape have his say, but he would make the man listen, too.
In a matter of minutes, they were by Professor Snape's office. The man entered but didn't stop there, as Nathan had expected. He followed the Potions master as he passed through a door that was hidden by some shelves. When Nathan saw the room beyond, his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened in admiration, making him momentarily forget his earlier thoughts.
Severus was halfway to the workbench where the cauldron that needed attention simmered when he realized that Nathan had stopped at the threshold. He turned, fully prepared to snap at the boy, when he saw the look of awe in his son's eyes; Nathan was admiring his lab.
The boy's eyes traveled through the room. A great number of candles were burning and floating near the ceiling, giving the room a brighter look than the Potions master's office. There were shelves covering the walls from floor to ceiling, filled with jars and boxes of potions ingredients and equipment. Nathan saw the three workbenches and the small desk that were the lab's furniture, and his eyes stopped on his professor, who was looking at him with an expression Nathan didn't think he'd seen on that face before. An expression that was there only for a short moment, as it was replaced by the cold one Nathan was very familiar with.
"Do you feel it's safe to enter now?" Professor Snape asked.
Nathan just nodded, still surprised with the room. "Is this your lab, sir?"
"What does it look like to you?" Snape returned with a lifted eyebrow.
"It looks like a great lab, sir," Nathan answered sincerely.
The open admiration in his son's sincere answer prevented Severus from delivering the sarcastic comment he'd prepared. "Yes, it is," he said instead. Shaking himself from the surprise of the unexpectedly civilized chat, Severus resumed his work and reached the cauldron just in time to add the next ingredients.
Nathan stared at the man working. He could see his professor was very concentrated and counting stirs. This must be a very important potion, Nathan mused. What potion is it? He watched curiously.
Professor Snape adjusted the fire after stirring, observing the cauldron for a moment. He looked up and caught the boy studying him with… admiration? He shook this thought from his head and remembered why the boy was there.
"I have the power to expel you from this school for skipping today's detention, Mr. Granger. They don't end until tomorrow, and you have no choice but to attend them," he said, his anger coming back now.
"I wasn't skipping detention, sir," Nathan said.
"Don't try my patience, boy!"
"I'm not! I was at the classroom by seven, but you weren't there, sir!" Nathan retorted, with not much of his own patience left.
"Don't use that tone with me, boy!" Professor Snape snarled, advancing on Nathan, who didn't back a single step and even lifted his head in a defiant move. Snape was towering over the boy now, only inches from actually touching, his hands in fists hanging at the side of his slim body.
"I wasn't skipping detention, sir," Nathan affirmed again, but this time he elaborated, "I couldn't enter the classroom without you there, sir. You had said that yourself yesterday."
"That was yesterday!"
Nathan took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, Snape noticed. "I'm tired of it, sir. I'm tired of the psychological games, the unfounded accusations, the threats. I don't know what you expect from me. I can't understand half of your actions towards me! It's driving me crazy!" Nathan had had enough.
"I don't expect anything from you," Snape finally said, after staring at his son's face for some time, surprised by his strong words.
"Then leave me alone, and I'll do the same," Nathan stated. "I don't care what you know about my father, or what you think of it at all. I don't care if you're a brilliant Potions master or a good teacher. I just can't take it anymore."
He could feel all the pain filling the voice of his son with that statement, and it reached some place inside his chest. He backed some distance away and turned from the boy, who lowered his head.
"What is my task for today, sir?" Nathan asked.
That question just added to the pain Severus was feeling. Tell him, a voice demanded. Tell him you were concerned when he didn't show up. Tell him you were confused and didn't know how to act. Apologize! the voice screamed in his head. He closed his eyes.
"I don't have a task for you today," Severus turned to face his son again, "and I won't have one tomorrow. You're excused from the detentions as for now."
Nathan closed his eyes and sighed. "May I go, then?"
"Go."
Nathan was at the door when he turned to face Professor Snape again. He hesitated before asking, "Are you brewing the Wolfsbane, sir?"
The surprise of the question made Severus answer. "It's a variation of it." He looked at Nathan in disbelief.
Nathan nodded. "I could recognize most of the ingredients but not all of them," he stated. "Good night, Professor Snape."
He left.
Severus stared at the door for a while after his son had gone, lost in thought. He'd been berated by his eleven-year-old son and had said nothing back. The boy's words had hurt him, even if he didn't want to admit it. And they had done so because they were the truth. Albus was right; he should have used these detentions to get to know him better instead of…
Severus brought a hand to brush his hair back in a nervous movement. He looked around and started cleaning the workbench. He needed some occupation to distract him from his feelings and thoughts.
"Don't come any closer, Granger!" Severus growled.
"Severus, you can't run away forever!" Hermione was staring at the man's back.
"I'm not running away!" he said with force, turning to look at her. "You are!"
She gasped. "I'm not running away, either!" Hermione walked towards him. "I wanted your son." Her voice was tender to his ears.
Severus closed his eyes. "I can't believe you," he said in a low voice. A hand brushed his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.
"Yes you can, Severus. I wanted your son; I needed your son," she stated in a very low voice.
He opened his eyes. "I can't forgive myself."
"I don't blame you." She continued to caress his face. "I don't hate you, Severus. I'm thankful to you for saving me. You're an honorable man."
He shook his head in denial, turning from her touch. "I can't. I've hurt you; I've destroyed your future. Nathan doesn't deserve a father like me."
Severus woke up from the agitated sleep.
"Another dream," he muttered in annoyance. It was the third that night. He pushed the covers away and sat up on the mattress. "Not even in sleep do I have peace," he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.
Leaving his bed, he paced the room and stopped in front of the enchanted window where he could see the grounds illuminated by the moonlight. The weak fire burning in the hearth wasn't enough to warm the room, and gooseflesh rose across his naked torso after the loss of the warmth from the bed covers.
But the increasing cold sensation of his bare feet touching the cold stone floor didn't bother him like the dreams did. They were always the same; he was discussing Nathan with Hermione, and then she touched him, comforting him. He could even feel the soft skin of her hands, and he felt bad for being touched by her even in his dreams. She'll never touch me, and I won't touch her either. Wasn't it enough, what he'd done to her?
He shook his head; that was not why he couldn't sleep today. His conflicting feelings were preventing his rest. On one hand, he wanted to know his son better, interact with him, accept him, but on the other hand…
"I can't. That's not an option. He deserves better," he mumbled, absentmindedly rubbing at his left forearm where the Dark Mark had left a pinkish scar.
He stayed there, watching the moon bathe the grounds with its silver light for what seemed hours, until his tired and cold body won and he went back to bed and to his restless sleep.
"Hermione?" Professor Brice called, entering her office.
"Oh, hi, William," she answered, taking her attention from the essays for only time enough to acknowledge his presence.
He kept quiet, watching her fill the poor essay with red remarks. He came closer to her desk. "Busy?"
"I'm sorry, William," she apologized, resting the red pen on the desk with reluctance, only to take it again and mark yet another error, and only then give up the plastic tube for good. When she looked up to her visitor, he was smiling.
"Sometimes I wonder why you like grading essays so much, and some other times…" he trailed off, but his impassive scrutiny was fixed on her. "Lunch, Hermione?"
She frowned. "It's lunch time already?" she asked somewhat rhetorically, looking for a clock.
"It's fifteen past midday," he offered her.
She traveled the pile of essays with her thumb and rested back on the chair with a sigh.
"You seem a bit off this week. It's not only the classes, is it?" William asked.
"No. There are the classes, but also the midterms to prepare, the research to do, journals to read-"
He interrupted her. "It's something else. You're distracted like this since Monday. Did something happen during the weekend?"
Hermione fidgeted in her chair. Were her worries showing? Probably. She frowned at the thought, and then fixed her eyes on William. "I'm fine. It's just that I've realized how close we are to Christmas break and how much work I have to do before it," she said, trying to sound convincing.
He nodded. "We have a lot to do at this time of the year," he agreed and, with another smile, added, "and that includes eating." She watched him bypass her desk and reach for the back of her chair, pulling it so she could stand up. "Let's have some lunch."
She accepted his invitation, and they left for lunch.
"Thank you," Hermione said, to the surprise of the house-elf helping with her luggage. She was arriving for her first weekend at Hogwarts since she'd left school so many years before.
The rooms the Headmistress had arranged for her were very comfortable. They were on the same floor as the library – fourth floor – which made it halfway between the dungeons, where she would be working, and Gryffindor Tower, where her son lived.
She liked the two armchairs facing the hearth in the room. In the corner was a desk she would use for her study and result analysis late at night, but what really caught her eyes was the view that the wide window behind this desk revealed – the lake, the forest and, in the distance, the houses of Hogsmeade that she knew would have their windows lit with the yellow from firelight at night. She'd missed the simplicity of the wizarding world.
Walking to the adjacent room, she found a beautiful four-poster bed, covered with dark crimson curtains and silver and gold details, matching the coverlet. Besides the bed that dominated the room, it also had a wardrobe uncovering one of the walls. On another wall was a door that she presumed lead to the bathroom.
She opened her trunk and retrieved what she would be using that afternoon. She wanted to go straight to the dungeons and face Severus, but knew it wouldn't be wise. She had to be patient; she had to work cautiously. She had to think of what was best for Nathan.
She left her new quarters and walked the few corridors that separated them from the library. She should start working on the research that was her reason to be there in the first place. She greeted Madam Pince and went straight to the Potions section.
Perusing the tomes and deciding which ones would be more useful at this stage of the research, Hermione didn't notice the boy with a light smile who approached her.
"Looking for something in particular?"
She startled from the book she was reading to face her son. "Nathan! I didn't think I would see you before dinner." She hugged him.
"Mum, let go," he said, scowling at her when she complied.
"Don't look at me like that, young man. I'm you're mother and I can hug you whenever I want," she said, raising her chin and failing to hide the smile building at the corner of her lips.
Nathan sighed. "I can see you'll be embarrassing me every weekend," he said, shaking his head.
She grinned then. "Don't you just love that?"
He couldn't hold the smile back anymore. "What are you looking for, exactly? I could help you, like I used to do at home."
"Aren't you supposed to be revising for your upcoming tests?"
"You know I've done that already. Where do we start?" Nathan asked. Hermione could only smile at his eagerness.
They shared the afternoon lost in Potions books and light conversation. Hermione was tempted to ask more about the detentions, but didn't want to ruin the mood. She missed the quality time she had with Nathan before he came to Hogwarts, and she would have the whole day tomorrow to interrogate Severus.
The time went by so quickly that when she next checked, it was dinner time. Nathan was finishing the list of ingredients of the potion she had appointed him to copy from the book.
"That's it for today. Let's have some dinner," she stated.
"Are you going to brew something tomorrow?" Nathan asked when they were almost at Madam Pince's desk, where Hermione would check out some of the books.
"No. Tomorrow I'll see my working space and check that everything is ready. I'll probably start something on Sunday."
Hermione checked out the books after promising Madam Pince she would not take long to bring them back, and they left for her quarters.
"If you're working in Professor Snape's lab, I think you'll find everything you need," Nathan commented. "He has the most amazing lab."
Hermione looked at Nathan with renewed interest. "You know Professor Snape's lab?"
"In my, er, last detention, he led me there. He was working on some variation of the Wolfsbane potion," Nathan said, but didn't elaborate.
"Did he ask you to help?" She couldn't keep from asking.
"No," was Nathan's answer.
She didn't ask anything else, but her mind was racing with a million questions.
Remus Lupin was in his seat at the Head Table, observing the students eat and share conversations, when he saw Hermione Granger and her son, Nathan, entering the Great Hall. He wasn't the only to notice Hermione's presence; many students at the Gryffindor table, to where she accompanied her son, were muttering with each other, obviously about her.
He observed as she brushed Nathan's hair back and the boy frowned at her, and that was yet another moment Remus had had that déjà vu sensation, the same he'd felt when he'd observed the boy after the Quidditch game. Hermione walked to the Head Table after that, and was received by Hagrid with enthusiasm.
Lupin watched as she took the free seat beside the half-giant, and when she looked at him, she waved. He waved back with a friendly smile, which she returned, but soon it faded. He noticed that her look had caught the figure of Severus Snape. Remus looked at the Potions master and saw that he, too, was looking at her.
The meal went by and Lupin noticed more of those looks passing between Hermione and Snape. What is going on here? he thought. From time to time, he could see Hermione looking at Nathan as if lost in thought. During one of those moments, Remus shifted his eyes to Snape and caught him doing the same thing, which was unbecoming. Snape looked his way then, caught him observing and frowned. Lupin tried to disguise the look of realization that crossed his features and averted his eyes to his plate. It can't be.
Saturday, Hermione met McGonagall after breakfast and the Headmistress led her to the dungeons. Severus hadn't been in the Great Hall this morning, but Hermione knew she would meet him soon.
Minerva tapped on the door of Snape's office and entered after being invited by him. She led Hermione in just behind her. Snape didn't acknowledge her, though. "Severus, Hermione is here to start her research for the Ministry. Do you have everything prepared?" Minerva asked him.
"Yes, Minerva. Follow me," he said, rising from his desk and walking to some shelves, which moved to reveal a room beyond. Like her son had done before, she could only stare at everything in awe.
"Very well, Severus. I'll leave you to it." Turning to Hermione, Minerva added, "and look for me later if there is something else you need, my dear."
Hermione smiled at McGonagall. "Of course, Headmistress. Thank you."
When Minerva left, Hermione returned her attention to the room. "This lab is excellent," she said to Severus.
"You can find cauldrons on those shelves," he said, pointing behind her, "utensils you'll find on those, in the boxes. Some of the most dangerous and expensive ingredients are here, and the rest are at the storeroom near the classroom, which I'm sure you know where to find. Any questions?"
She wasn't surprised by his down-to-business attitude. "Yes, I have questions," she said.
He snorted. "Of course you have."
She narrowed her eyes. "Why don't you want to listen to what I have to say? Why can't we sit and talk about Nathan?"
He didn't answer.
"Severus, I know something happened between the two of you. Did he ask you something? Did he tell you something?"
"I see you have no questions about the lab. I'll leave you to your work," was all he said.
He turned to leave, but Hermione halted him with her words. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, annoyed. "All I want is to protect my son! I don't want to see him hurting more than I know he will be already!" She needed him to understand.
He turned to face her again. "But that is not my problem. You brought this on yourself." He smirked.
She gasped in disbelief. "I can't believe you!" she protested. "Severus, if he suspects or knows that you're his father," she paused, not wanting to think of the possibilities. "I need to know so I can prepare him."
"So, you need to know. Interesting," he said in a cold voice. "You know the feeling then."
She sighed. "I can't go back and change things," she said with sorrow.
He continued, "So you know that, too."
"What's done is done. We need to focus on Nathan here. If he knows something, you must tell me," she said, looking him in the eyes to show her concern.
"You should have told me," he said between gritted teeth. "I had the right to know!"
"You had, but you were also arrested and awaiting trial. You had too much going on in your life already, and I knew you wouldn't take it lightly," she said.
"Of course I wouldn't have taken it lightly!" he roared.
"It doesn't matter now!" she said back. "Nathan is eleven! There is nothing you can change about it, so let's focus on what to do now and forget what happened then!"
"Forget? Forget!" He invaded her personal space in one long step, and Hermione knew she had phrased herself poorly. "I don't forget," he said in a dangerous voice, and stared at her a while longer before spinning on his heel and leaving her there, alone.
She sighed, closing her eyes. This man, her son's father, had much in common with Nathan, but he was a man, not a boy; she had to remember that. She was not dealing with her boy, but with a very, very complicated man.
The next day, her last at Hogwarts for this first weekend, she was to work in the dungeons. Her son had asked to join her, and she'd let him. Hermione would try to get the answers she needed; she would learn what Nathan knew, she just had to.
Nathan had gone back to Gryffindor Tower to fetch his equipment for handling the ingredients they would prepare today, and she waited for him at the top of the stairs that connected the Entrance Hall and Hogwarts' sub-levels. That was where Remus Lupin approached her.
"Hermione," he greeted.
She smiled, "Remus."
"I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"
"I'm supposed to be heading to the dungeons to start working on my project," she stated. "I'm only waiting for Nathan. He insisted on helping."
"It concerns him," Remus informed her, his tone serious and his eyes on hers to emphasize his words.
Hermione narrowed her eyes in a questioning way. "What about him?"
He silently observed her for a moment, which she thought was unusual behavior for him. "I don't think you'll want to discuss the matter in such a public place."
She looked at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Is he in trouble again?"
He sighed. "Hermione, I really don't think it's a matter to be discussed in the halls. We can talk more freely in my office," he suggested.
"Mum," she heard her son call, and looked his way. She hadn't notice his approach. "I have everything with me, gloves and all, and it's kind of heavy. Are you going to take long?"
She looked at Lupin, catching a glimpse of the surprise that Nathan's quiet approach had caused in him, too. "We can talk some other time," he offered with a smile. "Have a nice day," he said, adding a small nod of goodbye to both of them and left for the stairs leading up.
"Where are we going to work?" Nathan asked drawing her attention back to him.
"Professor Snape's lab."
"Really?" She could feel the excitement in her son's voice while they walked the dungeon halls, but the enthusiasm was gone with his following words. "Is he going to be there?"
She looked at him, trying not to show the significance the change in his tone had to her. "I don't know. Why?"
Nathan shrugged, dismissively. "No reason, but I'd like if it will just be the two of us, like when we worked at home."
She couldn't decide if there was more to what she was hearing and observing of her son, but they soon reached their first destination: Professor Snape's office. The door was ajar. Conveniently still avoiding me, Hermione thought, rolling her eyes upon finding there was no one inside. She crossed the room and went directly to the shelves that she knew obscured the door to the lab, with Nathan just behind her.
The room was how she'd left it the day before, but for some phials containing a yellowish liquid resting where only empty ones had been, giving away the fact that Severus had worked there after she'd gone.
"It'll be easier to work here than home. Look at all the different knives!" Nathan said, examining the utensils.
"Stay away from the knives, please," she cautioned him, "and don't go touching everything," she added with a glare, when she saw he had his hand halfway to the utensils on one of the shelves. He withdrew his hands to his back and wandlessly levitated what he had been about to touch. She shook her head, failing to hide the easy smile lingering on her lips. "Put that back, Nathan," she chastised, "and look for some pestles."
They worked together, talking first of the things they were doing and then commenting on the preparation of the ingredients. They were discussing the influence of the size of a chopped root on the final properties of a potion.
"I've read in the text book, Mum," Nathan was arguing his point, "that the pieces must be smaller than a square inch only if the medium is basic and not acid."
"Nathan, you can't rely only on books. I'm telling you, if you have pieces bigger than a square inch, even if in a medium acid like this one, you'll have a change in consistency and, consequently, in the properties of the final potion," she lectured.
"You're just saying that because you like things chopped small. I'll do as you say, but it's unfounded," he continued to disagree.
"What did Professor Snape say?" she asked, then.
Nathan stopped the rhythmic movement of his hands for a bit, but resumed his work saying, "I'm not sure."
"You're not sure?" she said in an inquisitorial tone. "How's that you're not sure?"
"I…" Nathan stumbled, at a loss of words.
She stopped her own task to place her full attention on him, waiting for an explanation.
"I can't remember what he said on that specific matter," he managed.
She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you lying to me?" She knew her son too well to fall for that.
"I'm not lying," he countered, still chopping the root, but he lacked the feverous tone she knew would be there if she was being unjust with her accusation.
"When will you give up trying to fool me, Nathan?"
He didn't say anything.
"What aren't you telling me?" she insisted.
Nathan sighed. "I wasn't paying attention to the class," he admitted.
"I thought you liked Professor Snape's class."
"I like Potions," he corrected her, "but I never said I liked Professor Snape."
She sighed, then. "What happened in those detentions that made you change your opinion like this?"
"I never changed my opinion," he answered.
"Don't try to fool me. You told me on your letters that he was your favorite teacher. What happened?"
"He found out I have no father," he stated.
She took a shaky breath. Finally, she thought. "And how does that change anything?" she pressed.
"Because people always change around me when they find out." He closed his eyes, stilling his hands. "I'm tired of it."
She let go of the utensil she'd been working with and reached a hand to touch her son's shoulder, but he jerked away from her.
"Nathan-"
"I'm tired of making a clown of myself every time I'm asked about my father. Why are you doing this to me?" There was pain in his eyes when he looked at her. "Why can't you tell me?"
"You know that I'll tell you when I can, and that you'll be the first to know." She tried to reach a hand to him again, without success.
"You're lying. So many know already and you didn't tell me!" he protested, raising his voice.
"I'm not lying. Nobody knows-" she attempt to explain, but was cut off mid-sentence.
"Liar!" Nathan scolded. "You're a liar! Even Professor Snape knows!"
Her eyes widened. Nathan was aware that Severus knew.
"I knew it!" he exclaimed, and she realized that her reaction had betrayed her. "Professor Snape, of all people, knows who my father is!"
"What did he tell you?" Her voice was weak.
She saw him thinking on how to answer and only realized she'd been holding her breath when she exhaled after hearing his next words. "Nothing! Nobody says anything!" His voice was stained with disappointment. She wanted to reach out for him, but she knew he wouldn't let her hold him right now. "How come he knows and I don't?"
"Try to understand, Nathan. We've discussed this so many times. I can't tell you, yet. You-"
"Why not?" he cut her explanation, "I can handle the truth, Mum. I won't be upset if he's in Azkaban, or something. I just want to know his name," he pleaded.
She closed her eyes. "I can't tell you yet."
She heard his growl of frustration. "It's not fair!" he heatedly protested. "I'm the one who has to listen to Snape's dry remarks; I'm the one who has to undergo my friends' pity. And you could end all of this, but you… won't… tell me!" he raged and left the room at a run. She knew he was crying.
Hermione made to follow him, but was stopped by Severus Snape's hand on her arm, and his quiet voice saying, "Let him go."
"Release me," she commanded, shaking her arm, trying to break free from his grip. "I need to go after him." His fingers tightened around her upper arm. She glared at him. "It's your entire fault! You destroyed everything I've built. I prepared him for your nastiness, unfairness, stubbornness, and even so you found a way to make him hate you. I hope you're satisfied," she ranted.
"Finished?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.
She narrowed her eyes. "Bastard!" She was preparing another round of accusations, but he spoke before they left her mouth.
"Your secret is still safe, but not for long if I let you go after him." His eyes were on hers. "And I don't think that's what you want, for the little I've heard of your conversation."
She sighed and felt his hand slowly withdraw from her arm. "Why didn't you tell me he had realized you knew something?" she sighed. "I would have been able to dissuade him, and things wouldn't have come to this. He was fascinated by you to the point that I had to ask him to talk about something else. What did you do to him in those detentions? He… he hates you enough to neglect what you say in class. That's quite an achievement. You should be proud," she said sarcastically.
"And you say that as if it was a bad thing," he countered.
She looked at him in disbelief. "Do you want him to hate you? You're saying that you really want your son to hate you? You can't be serious."
"I thought you were happy with his fatherless status," he said. "Who would want a murderer bastard as a father? He's better off without me."
"What are you talking about? Nathan worshiped you until you screwed everything up with whatever you said and did during those detentions. He would be delighted to know you're his father."
He mock chuckled. "Don't make me laugh, Granger. You filled his head with fantastic stories of how honorable and good I was. Of course he would change his mind after finding out the truth of who I really am; he is not stupid."
"The truth of who you really are, Severus? Do you still believe you're beyond redemption after all you've done for the wizarding world?" She shook her head. "You'll never understand why I decided to keep him; you're as stubborn as your son. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going after Nathan," she said and left his office.
Kevin sat near one of the shelves in the library, where he was working on his History essay with Andy's help. He struggled with dates and names until he gave up trying to find the right Goblin who had leaded that specific revolt. He closed his book and looked up to Andy. "I wish Nathan were here to help us."
"Me, too. What do you think he's doing in the dungeons with his mother? Preparing ingredients?" Andy asked.
"Maybe. Perhaps he wouldn't mind if we went there to see?"
"I don't know," Andy answered, hesitating. "What if Snape is there, too?"
"Good point," Kevin agreed and opened his book again with a sigh. "Do you think Snape really knows who Nathan's father is?"
"I hope so. It's just too sad not knowing the name of your own father. I wish we could help him find out."
"If Snape knows, maybe we could investigate him and try to find out something," Kevin suggested.
"I don't know, but it's worth trying. Nathan deserves to know who his father is, even if all we can find out is a name," Andy said.
"We should work on a plan, then. When he comes back, we can tell him our ideas."
"Sure, these Goblin revolts are too boring anyway," Andy agreed, and they started working on plans to find out the identity of Nathan's father.
What they hadn't noticed was the blond Slytherin with a smug smile, standing behind the shelf by where they sat