Chapter 13: Edge
Nathan was dismayed by Professor Snape's reaction to him opening the vial of green potion. Does he really think I'd be careless enough to smell it directly? Nathan thought, shaking his head. Of course not! My mother thought me better than that! He had used the technique Hermione had taught him for identifying unlabeled substances. He had opened the vial and waved a hand over it, trying to identify the substance by its odor. He hadn't had the time to explain that to his professor, though. He had been shooed out of the dungeons again.
He sighed. The man was impossible! Nothing was ever good enough for him. There was always something Nathan was doing wrong, no matter how hard he tried; and he was trying very hard. Maybe too hard, Nathan mused. He was getting tired of these detentions, and of dealing with Professor Snape. Maybe he should look for the Headmistress and ask to serve his detention with another teacher, like his mother had suggested.
But he thought of what Professor Snape knew – the identity of his father – and resigned himself to his fate with another sigh. If he was going to gain any information from the Potions master, he would have to continue the detentions with him and try harder to get Professor Snape to talk.
He reached the Fat Lady's portrait after deciding he wouldn't look for Professor McGonagall. The common room was warmer than the corridors, and much warmer than the dungeons. His eyes traveled around the room and found Kevin and Andy in a corner, bent over parchments of homework he'd finished days ago.
He approached the table from behind them, ever so cautiously, and said in a slightly high tone, "I'm back!"
Both boys jumped from their seats, startled.
"For Merlin's sake!" Andy spluttered out.
"Good grief, Nathan! Why did you do that for?" Kevin asked indignantly.
Nathan, smirking in his amusement, took a seat across from them. "You were just so absorbed in your work; I couldn't resist," he said simply, and his smile broadened.
"Not funny," Andy mumbled, and went back to his homework.
Kevin was still looking angrily at Nathan, who smiled even more. But his smile faltered when he realized that Kevin was now studying him questioningly. "What?" Nathan asked.
"Nothing, just stop acting like that," Kevin answered, his eyes already back on the parchment holding his Transfiguration essay.
Nathan frowned. "Like what?"
"Like S-" Kevin was saying but was cut off.
"Like a stupid child," Andy said, glaring at Kevin.
Nathan observed their behavior attentively. "What were you going to say, Kevin?" he asked seriously.
"Exactly what Andy said; stop being a stupid brat!"
Nathan sighed. He thought he could lighten up a little in the company of his friends, but he was obviously mistaken. This mystery they were keeping from him, these strange looks… Nathan stood up abruptly and left the common room, annoyed. He would be better off alone.
Severus was lying on his bed, thinking about the events of these past days. Damn boy! Damn portrait! When his son had asked about the green potion, he had felt uneasy; when the boy had said the vial was sticky, he'd been concerned and on his feet without even thinking; and when the reckless Gryffindor had said he'd inhaled it, his heart had skipped a beat. Nothing had happened, though, and he felt relieved.
And all these feelings annoyed him immensely.
But more annoying than what he had felt back in the classroom was how he was feeling right now. He wanted to check on Nathan to see if he was really fine. "Damn boy!" he roared. How could this Gryffindor change his life so? He refused to go to him, though.
Severus left his bed. He wouldn't sleep anytime soon, so he might just as well make rounds of the castle, taking points from unfortunate students. He changed back into his black robes and left his quarters.
He walked through the corridors, looking in every known mischief spot. He was on the top floor, turning back to descend to the dungeons, when he heard footsteps. He backed away into a shadowy corner and waited, smirking, for the unlucky student to pass by where he stood, but as soon as he saw who was coming, his smirk disappeared.
Nathan had just turned the corner, apparently alone. He seemed distracted, Severus noticed. The professor didn't intercept him, but followed instead.
They walked through a few corridors, Nathan never realizing a dark figure was stalking him. The boy stopped in front of a window with a view to the lake that reflected the weak moonlight. Severus stood a few steps behind, observing his son.
He watched the boy sit by the window sill and frowned. What is he doing here? And after curfew, no less? he thought. When Nathan didn't show any indication that he was moving back to his dormitory anytime soon, Severus showed himself.
Startled, Nathan stood up awkwardly.
"It's after curfew, Mr. Granger. What are you doing outside Gryffindor?" Severus asked.
"I was just going back, sir," Nathan answered.
"Five points from Gryffindor."
Nathan sighed, and lowered his head.
"I'll accompany you to your common room, now," Snape said after a few moments of silence. Nathan said nothing, just followed his professor.
A few corridors later, Nathan gathered his Gryffindor courage and asked, "Are you going to assign me more detentions, sir?"
Nathan's voice was dull, Severus noticed. "You still have several detentions ahead, and they'll be used as a punishment for this transgression too." He watched the boy sigh, but then nod in acceptance. He kept watching.
Nathan seemed to realize his professor's scrutiny, and he began to feel uncomfortable. He was also feeling sad at the moment. It seemed that his plans to become the best student, to make a difference at Hogwarts, were mere illusions. His friends were keeping secrets from him, he was always getting himself into trouble, and he couldn't make Professor Snape recognize his efforts…
Severus was watching his son's brooding figure. What is going on here? he wondered. He'd never seen the boy like this. He started to worry.
"Why were you walking around the castle after curfew, Mr. Granger?" Professor Snape asked.
Nathan's hesitation didn't past unnoticed by Severus. "I didn't have any homework and all my friends were busy with their own, so I decided to take a walk. I lost track of time, I'm sorry," Nathan managed to reply.
The boy was a convincing liar, but he needed more than that to convince Severus, who narrowed his eyes. He said nothing, but his worries didn't diminished. In front of the next torch that flared to light when they advanced through the corridor, Severus stopped Nathan and commanded, "Look at me," and took his son's face between his long hands.
Professor Snape looked into Nathan's eyes for signs of effects of the green potion and found only the normal blackness he recognized from his own eyes. He was tempted to look past those eyes, to access Nathan's thoughts, but refrained himself. It wasn't past Nathan, being Hermione's son, to know what he was doing if he Legilimized him, so he let go of his son's face and started walking again.
Nathan followed him in silence for a moment. He was mystified by Professor Snape's actions. Is he still concerned about the green potion? he thought. As much as it sounded impossible, that was exactly what it was – Professor Snape was concerned for him. That green substance must be very dangerous.
"Is the green potion that dangerous, sir?" Nathan asked; showing curiosity was part of his nature.
Severus spent only a glance at him. "Yes, it is," he said simply, and silence fell upon them again as they walked.
Arriving at the Fat Lady's portrait, Professor Snape stopped and waited for Nathan to give the password. The portrait leading to the Gryffindor common room swung open and Nathan was one step from it, when he half-turned and said, "Thank you, Professor Snape. You're always taking care of us. I'm glad to have you as a teacher here," and entered the room.
The Fat Lady was the only one that saw the dumbfounded Snape.
The following morning, Andy and Kevin were waiting for Nathan in the common room before breakfast. They saw him going down the stairs that came from the dormitories, and when he was in hearing range, Andy started teasing him for being late. Then he lowered his voice and stopped speaking altogether; Nathan had just passed by them without acknowledging their presence at all.
Nathan ignored their disbelieved stares and kept walking to the exit of the common room. He had had enough! If they wanted to keep things from him, fine. Just don't expect him to be all friendly with them. He was better off alone!
He entered the Great Hall and took a seat on the opposite side of the table from where they usually sat. There was no one beside or across from him; he was alone. Nathan sighed before starting his breakfast.
Some minutes later he heard, rather than saw, the two boys approaching the table. They were looking at him; he could feel it. But he had resolved his feelings on the matter last night; if they were speaking about him behind his back and making pointed comments he didn't understand to his face, then he didn't need them.
Severus was listening to Minerva and observing the Great Hall while sipping his coffee when he saw Nathan come in. The boy was alone and determinedly walking to the Gryffindor table.
He continued to observe Nathan serving himself as if through obligation and not hunger, and he narrowed his eyes. He knew the boy couldn't be affected by the potion; he had checked twice and found no visible effect. What was it then? he thought.
Severus turned to answer something the Headmistress enquired of him for a moment, and when he turned his attention back to the students, he saw Kevin and Andy entering the Great Hall. Severus watched as they looked over to where Nathan was, and saw them turn to their usual place at the table, looking at Nathan and whispering to one another. He observed Nathan for his reaction to it, but there wasn't any. His son was deliberately ignoring his friends. He rose an eyebrow at that. But why? he mused.
Severus fought to focus back on his breakfast. It wasn't his place to see if the boy had friends or not. Checking on his health he felt was his obligation, but see to his social life was not! If he turned out to be a loner and decided to pass seven years alone, it wasn't his problem.
He ate a handful of scrambled eggs, using more force than necessary on his fork. Severus didn't seem able to focus on anything else. When his son was in the same room as himself, the boy became the center of his interests. Damn the boy! he berated in silence.
He managed to avoid looking at Nathan for the remainder of his meal. He stood from his chair and, in a rustle of black robes, left the Great Hall, but not before glaring at Andy and Kevin upon passing by the Gryffindor table.
Nathan didn't notice the Potions master; his attentions were directed at a pair of boys sitting a few chairs from him. He studied them without giving away his actions, their eyes never meeting.
He finished his breakfast and, quickly, walked towards the door, again ignoring Kevin's call of his name.
During classes, Nathan sat as far as he could from the two. This behavior was starting to be noticed by some other students, he knew. But he was making his stand and he didn't care if people noticed. He felt eyes studying him from his right and saw Devon Malfoy seemed to have more interest in him than in what Professor Flitwick was saying. Nathan glared impassively at him until the Slytherin turned his attention back to the lecture.
It was like that for the whole day. People were looking at him as if seeing him for the first time, and they were also looking at Kevin and Andy the same way. They had tried to speak with him during lunch, but he had ignored them again, refusing to listen to their excuses. Now they would learn not to keep things from him. If they wanted to be his friends, they would have to understand that!
At the end of the day's classes, he didn't want to go back to Gryffindor to do his homework, preferring the quietude of the library. He worked on the assigned essay for Charms, re-read the chapter on winter seasonal magical plants for Herbology, and had nothing else to do. He would normally spend this time with his friends but now he had to find something else to do before dinner and the upcoming detention.
He remembered then about the green potion. He was still intrigued by it. What was in that vial? he thought again. Since he was in the library, he could use his time to search for clues as to what that substance could be. Nathan stood from the table at the back of the library and walked to the Potions section.
There were an immense number of books on that subject. He mused on where to start. Deciding that green potion was definitely a poison, he started picking books from the shelves that had anything to do with it on their titles.
Absorbed by the interesting reading, Nathan missed dinner, and just had time to check out some of the books he had selected and move quickly to the dungeons. He was five minutes late.
"You're late, Mr. Granger. Five points from Gryffindor," he heard as soon as he opened the door. Professor Snape hadn't even bothered to look at him while taking the points.
"I'm sorry, sir, I was in the library and lost track of the time," Nathan excused himself.
Professor Snape looked at him then, and studied Nathan for a brief moment before returning to whatever work he was doing. "You can finish what you started yesterday," Professor Snape said. "And don't open any vials this time," he emphasized, looking at him again, "I don't want to have to inform your mother of your death," he added, visibly annoyed at the thought.
"You could always inform my father instead," Nathan mumbled under his breath, walking to the storage room to continue the inventory.
Professor Snape seemed to have heard, though. "What did you say?" he asked.
Nathan stopped and turned to look at Professor Snape. "I said…" he hesitated, thinking this could be his opportunity to ask.
The Potions master was now frowning at him, expecting an answer.
"I said you could inform my father instead, sir." Nathan was a Gryffindor, after all.
He held Professor Snape's gaze. An uncomfortable silence fell upon them.
"Another five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Granger."
Nathan didn't take his eyes of Snape's, expecting his professor to say more.
Professor Snape narrowed his eyes. "I think you have a detention to fulfill, Mr. Granger; what are you waiting for?" the Potions master said, visibly annoyed.
Nathan bit at his lower lip. Should I ask him? he mused. He could see Professor Snape was on the edge of his patience. He took a deep breath but, thinking twice, decided not to ask. "Nothing, sir," he said instead, and turned to the storage room. It's not the right moment, he thought.
Severus watched the boy entering the storage room with narrowed eyes. What is he playing at? He tried to understand what had just happened there. Does he know something? He knew the boy didn't know anything about his father, right?
He looked back to the book he'd been reading, not really seeing the words on the page. His mind was full of questions with no answers, and he hated when he didn't fully understand what was going on. Severus wanted to grab the boy by the arms and demand to know what was on his mind. He ground his teeth in frustration; this situation was becoming unbearable.
After much mulling on the matter, Severus stood from his desk and entered the storage room. Nathan was counting and recounting ingredients and taking notes on a parchment. The boy noticed his presence, but just looked at him, arching an eyebrow in expectance. Must he do this? Severus thought.
"I can see you haven't killed yourself yet," Severus said.
Nathan rolled his eyes, and went back to counting salamander tails.
"It would be extremely annoying to see your mother crying when I told her," Snape said, observing Nathan hesitate on his task for only a moment. "I would prefer to tell your father, but then I would have to know who he is."
Nathan had stopped his task altogether, but he didn't take his eyes from the salamander tails.
"Can you tell me where to find him?" Snape asked then.
Nathan looked his way with a frown. "You know I can't," he answered.
"Can't you? Are you sure of that?"
"I'm sure," Nathan said. "But you can," he affirmed, conviction in his shiny black eyes.
So that's what this is all about, Severus silently concluded. "I can't see you working, Mr. Granger," he snapped, and saw the frustration written on Nathan's face.
The boy resumed his work, but without the grace and caution he had been employing before, Severus noticed. The Potions master turned his back to him in a rustle of robes to leave the room, but heard, "Is it that bad?" He faced his son again. There was something in that tone; desperation, maybe frustration.
Nathan wasn't finished. "He must have done something horrible. Is he in Azkaban? Is that why nobody tells me who he is? He's a monster, isn't he?"
Severus didn't expect that. He hadn't spent too much time considering possible reasons Hermione had kept his identity from the boy, but now… She doesn't want the likes of me near him, he concluded, and a stab of sorrow hit his heart. Could he condemn her choice? He thought not, and anger washed over him at what he was, and what he'd been.
Severus clenched his hands into fists and said, "Finish your damn task, boy, so I can get rid of you!"
The next day, the frustration of the past evening was compounded by the frustration of that morning. Nathan didn't get what he wanted from Professor Snape and, even worse than that, the Potions master now knew of his intentions. He wanted to talk to his friends, but he wasn't the kind of person that gave up on a stand. He sighed and entered the Great Hall for breakfast alone.
He was playing with the food on his plate when something blocked the already scarce light due to the ugly weather. He looked up to find Kevin's face.
"Why are you ignoring us?" the boy asked.
"Why do you care? You were ignoring me first!" Nathan retorted.
"We were not!" protested Andy, by Kevin's side.
"You're keeping secrets from me. Do you think you're masters of disguise? News flash, you're not!" Nathan said, discounting all his frustration on the boys.
They watched Nathan. Kevin with an expression of surprise, but Andy seemed to be… sorry.
Nathan pulled his things together and left them there, rendered silent by his accusations.
Nathan was glad it was Friday already; he was now counting the days to be free of Professor Snape's detentions. After that Wednesday evening, he was certain the Potions master wouldn't tell him a thing about his father, and saw no further reason to want to spend time with the sour man.
His friends were acting even stranger after that morning of their argument. Nathan had caught them perusing his books the evening before, the books he'd been reading about poisons. Andy seemed frightened when he'd entered the dormitory. After that, Nathan had seen them coming out of Professor Lupin's office earlier today; suspicious indeed.
He lay down on his bed after another evening of scrubbing cauldrons, and took another book from his nightstand. He was reading about another interesting green poison when he heard a shout and then a spell hit him.
"What is the meaning of this!" he said, jumping from his bed and advancing towards the caster – Kevin.
"Hold him, Andy!" he heard Kevin say.
"Stay away from me, Andy," Nathan said, now holding his wand at the ready. "What did you do to me?"
"You don't understand Nathan. You were under the Imperius Curse!" Andy exclaimed, his hands in front of him as if for protection.
"But don't worry. Professor Lupin taught us the counter-curse. How do you feel?" Kevin asked, observing him with caution.
"Imperius Curse! Are you mad?" Nathan said, outraged.
That confused the pair of Gryffindors. "Listen Nathan, Professor Snape cursed you. We've noticed your change. But it's all right now. You're free," Kevin said, as if he was talking to a five-year-old.
"Oh, come on! Was that what you were whispering about?" Nathan shook his head. "I'm not under any curse."
"You're not?" asked Andy.
"Not anymore," said a smug Kevin.
"I've never been. What made you think such an absurd thing?" Nathan asked, eyeing both of them in turn.
"You've been acting kind of weird since you started those detentions with Snape," Andy explained.
"Yeah, and it got worse! You even started to act like him," Kevin completed.
"And then you started to ignore us, and we found these poison books. It was scary," Andy said, a fearful expression on his face once more.
Nathan narrowed his eyes. "I'm trying to find the name of a green potion that was unlabeled in Professor Snape's storage room. I think it's a poison; that's why I'm reading these books. Did you think I wanted to poison someone?"
"Well, yeah! We thought Snape was commanding you to do that. Wasn't he?" Kevin asked.
"Of course not! How many times do I have to tell you: Professor Snape is not an evil wizard!" Nathan was annoyed that he constantly had to repeat himself.
"If you weren't cursed, then why have you been acting so weird?" asked Kevin, not yet convinced.
Nathan sighed. He would have to explain why he had been so focused on the detentions. "Listen guys, there's something I have to tell you," he said softly. "Professor Snape has information about something I've been trying to discover for a long time."
"Information about what?" asked Andy, curious.
Nathan sighed again. This was his least favorite part of the tale. "I don't know who my father is."
"You never told us that," Kevin said, sitting on the nearest bed.
"That's because I don't like to talk about it," Nathan admitted.
"That's sad," said Andy, sitting next to Kevin.
"Professor Snape seems to know his identity," Nathan went on, "but he won't tell me." Nathan paced in front of his friends. "Everybody seems to know. My mum knows, of course, and I think Uncle Harry knows, too; now I'm sure Professor Snape knows as well, but no one will tell me!" he finished in exasperation.
His friends didn't know what to say. Nathan sat on his bed, frustrated.
Andy broke the silence, "Did you ask him?"
"Yes," Nathan answered simply.
"And…" prompted Kevin.
"He got annoyed and has been treating me like a dunderhead ever since."
"I'm sorry, Nathan," said Andy, reaching out a hand to comfort his friend.
Snape observed Nathan entering the Great Hall with his friends in tow. Apparently, they were back together as if nothing had happened. Nathan still seemed a little paler than normal, he noticed, but he would be fine now that he had friends again.
He had decided he wouldn't have anything to do with Nathan after that night's stark realization had hit home. Hermione had kept the boy from him because she didn't want Nathan to know his father was a cold-blood murderer and ex-Death Eater; he didn't blame her.
Severus didn't feel like attending the Quidditch match, but knew he had to. Slytherin was playing against Gryffindor, and as Head of House he needed to show up and pretend to be interested.
Arriving at the Quidditch pitch, Severus found his usual place in the stands where the teachers always sat. He was early, as usual, just to avoid bumping into overexcited students.
He observed the stands fill with green, silver, red and gold, when a small group caught his eyes. Lupin was approaching with a red headed man – Ronald Weasley. That was no surprise; Weasley always attended the Quidditch matches, annoying as it was. But this time they weren't alone, they had a group of excited Gryffindors with them.
Severus watched his son talking animatedly with his friends, following Weasley and Lupin to where he sat.
"Good morning, Severus," Lupin greeted.
Severus nodded.
"Hey, Snape, how's your team this year without Frein and Maison? They were carrying the Slytherins on their backs last year. It's a shame they graduated, don't you think?" teased Ron.
"Gryffindor won't win even if we substitute them with brooms alone," Severus said, smirking at the now-angered Weasley.
"We'll see," said Ron. "Nathan? Aren't you sitting with us?"
Nathan hesitated, looking at Professor Snape.
"Come over here!" Ron said, grabbing him by the robes and pulling Nathan down to sit by his side. "You too, boys; if you're friends with Nathan, you're my friends, too."
Andy seemed eager to stay, since Ron was one of his favorites Quidditch players, but Kevin wasn't that comfortable. "I don't know," he said.
"Oh, come on, Kevin," Andy begged.
"All right," Kevin agreed. Nathan smiled.
The match started and Gryffindor scored first, much to Ron's excitement and Severus' annoyance. "That's only the beginning, Snape," Ron teased. Severus didn't bother answering, but observed Nathan from the corner of his eyes; he was smirking.
The game progressed and Slytherin took the lead on the scoreboard. "It seems you were putting the carriage ahead the Threstrals again, Weasley," Severus mocked.
"Let's see who catches the Snitch, Snape," Ron retorted.
Severus flicked his eyes to where Nathan was seated again. The boy didn't seem very interested on the game, but had his attention on Weasley instead. Nathan seemed fascinated with the red-headed man's excitement over the match. His son was having a good time. With Weasley, no less, he added mentally.
On the pitch, both Seekers were flying after the Snitch. The small winged ball had been seen by the players, near to where they sat. Weasley's scream when he saw it had made Snape cringe.
He watched his son openly, now that everybody had their attention on the match. The boy had an expression of what Severus could only describe as disguised amusement, and he changed his own to a cold expressionless one. Nathan's amusement wasn't directed to the flying broomsticks, but to an excited Weasley, and that bothered him.
Gryffindor's Seeker had caught the Golden Snitch. Weasley was cheering. Nathan smiled, watching his mother's friend until he turned his attention to the other side and found Professor Snape staring at him. He smirked then.
"Enjoy the game, sir?" Nathan asked, still smirking.
"Did you?" Professor Snape retorted.
"Gryffindor won," Nathan answered.
"Did they?" Severus asked, arching his eyebrows.
Nathan looked at the scoreboard then. It showed two hundred and fifty to Gryffindor against one hundred and seventy to Slytherin. He looked back at his professor and rolled his eyes at the smirking man. Professor Snape had caught him.
"Try to actually watch the next game, Mr. Granger," the Potions master said, leaving his seat and retreating to the castle.
Neither of them noticed the frowning Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.
Hermione was resting by the hearth, watching the flickering flames. Her mind was replaying her last conversation with Harry. Yesterday afternoon, the Auror had looked for her at the university, asking for a favor.
"Hermione, I wouldn't be here if I didn't need your help," Harry had said.
"Harry, I'm a Chemist, not a Potions Mistress. You should look for someone more qualified," she had told him, pointedly.
"I'm not looking for Snape, Hermione. Forget about it!" Harry had said, narrowing his eyes at Hermione's implied suggestion.
"Oh, grow up, Harry!" she had reprimanded. "Can't you put this childish quarrel aside? He's the best Potions Master I know; he could help you better than me."
Harry had looked like as if she had offended him with the worst of offences.
"Harry," she had said more calmly, "you can't carry this grudge forever. He'd helped us. He'd saved us uncountable times, and what do you do? You duel him every year."
"This is not about me and Snape, Hermione. Are you going to help me or not?" Harry had asked, extremely annoyed with the turn of the conversation.
Hermione had sighed. "Fine, but don't expect any miracle from me. I haven't worked with Potions this complex since our graduation," she had said, "and I'll need supplies and a laboratory, as well as books to consult," she had added in an after thought.
Harry had grinned at her. "I knew you wouldn't resist. I've spoken with Minerva and she agreed to concede you unlimited access to Hogwarts library and facilities."
"Hogwarts?" she had exclaimed in surprise. "I thought I would be using the Ministry's laboratories."
"And you are. Hogwarts is just that. Besides," Harry had added, before Hermione had had the time to protest, "you'll find all the best books on the subject there."
And that was how she found herself in this dilemma of conducting Potions research at Hogwarts. They'd agreed that she wouldn't leave her work at the university; therefore, she would be spending Fridays and weekends at Hogwarts.
Her musings of what would become of her life now were interrupted by a strong tap at her door, startling her. The unexpected visitor knocked again, more insistently. She rose from the sofa, opened the door, and froze, wide-eyed.
It was Severus Snape