"Congratulations,
you survived the war.
Now live with the trauma."
C H A P T E R 1 4
L U C I A N A
I was running.
As fast as I could, with my legs burning. But not fast enough.
They caught up with me just as I was turning into another hallway and shot. It hit me in the leg and I fell. I get kicked in the chest. I closed my eyes and felt myself being thrown over someone's shoulder. It hurt.
After walking for awhile, they dumped me in the same room I had run from.
And then I saw her. Soaked in her own blood, held up by chains attached to her arms. My hands went up to my face and when I brought them down, they were wet. I realized I was crying.
She looked at me and gave me a small smile, wincing. "It's not your fault sweetie," she coughed up some blood. "I still love you."
I cried harder, then I saw him. Standing at the back, looking amused by our interaction.
"Well, well, well, I guess even the Luciana Crest couldn't run from me. Even with a few minutes head start. What a shame." he was taunting me, but I didn't care.
Still sobbing, I asked. "Why are you doing this?" I looked at him. "I'll do anything, please just let her go."
He arched an eyebrow. "But where's the fun in that? If I let her go and torture you instead, I won't be getting any reaction out of you. Now if I just-" he picked up a small dagger and plunged it into her back. She let out a wail and a scream escaped me. "-do that, I'll be getting a nice show from you."
I looked at him with hatred filled eyes. "You're sick."
"Of course I am, but now Luciana, let's not change the subject. I gave you a choice, what do you choose?"
"I can't please, please don't make me!"
"Oh, but you have to. And I even gave you a chance to run, but you failed. Now choose."
He walked over to me and placed a gun in front of me with a single bullet.
I picked it up with shaky hands and loaded it.
I pointed it at her. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, I understand. I love you" she said and closed her eyes.
Even with shaky hands, I know I won't miss my target, but I hope I do. I cried even harder. "I love you too."
Then I shot.
~~~
I shot up in the bed. My back was soaked with sweat and my face was wet with tears.
I walked to my bathroom and washed my face.
I haven't had that nightmare in a while. Years, even. Usually it takes a few days for me to go back to normal after reliving that horrible moment.
Sitting down on the bed, I looked at the clock which read 5:39. I put my head between my knees and took deep breaths. It helped a little and I felt more in control now.
I will get up, get dressed, and pretend everything is okay.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was standing on the terrace with a mug of hot chocolate that I made for myself clutched to my chest and looking at the sky.
It was still dark but not pitch black, it was the kind of color that makes you feel at peace.
But I was not at peace, haven't been for so long.
I wished I had died that day, not her.
Not her.
But I could never have done the other thing.
I heard someone behind me and turned back. It was Cole.
"Hey, what are you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep," he said. "What are you doing here? Couldn't sleep too?"
"Something like that."
I saw him eyeing the mug in my hand. "Sorry, I made only enough for me. But we could share?"
He gave a little laugh. "No, I don't mind."
We were quiet for a while and he asked. "Why did you come up here?"
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "What about you?"
"I was up so I roamed around the place and I saw you walk out the kitchen and come here, so I followed you."
"You got here like fifteen minutes after I did, were you waiting behind the door?"
He snorted. "No! I grabbed a snack before coming here."
I nodded and continued to stare at the sky. It was getting lighter by the second.
I took a sip of my hot chocolate and asked him. "Do you think I'm a good trainer?"
He seemed surprised by this, but answered, anyway. "Yeah, I think your pretty good."
A smile formed on my lips. "Thanks."
I looked down at my hand to check the time, but I didn't have my watch.
"Cole, do you know what time it is?"
He checked his watch. "It's around 6:30. I guess we should probably head back."
"We should," I said. "Oh, and trainees aren't supposed to be here, so you better keep your mouth shut."
He chuckled. "Yes ma'am."
I smiled at him and turned around. Walking to the door, I lifted my mug to take a sip only to see to empty. I sighed, I wanted some more.
When we reached the corridor that separated the recruit quarter from the assassin quarter, Cole and I parted ways.
I'd almost reached my room when I saw that the door was already open. I almost ran to it before seeing Nathan come out the door.
"Where were you?"
"Just around. Why?"
"It's nothing. I just wanted to ask you if I could join your recruit training party?"
I frowned at him. "Sure, yeah, I don't mind. But was that really why you were here?"
"Yeah, so what are you doing up so early?"
I lied easily. "Oh, you know how stupid I am. I accidentally forgot to set off one of my alarms, and it started to ring. What about you?"
He didn't look convinced. "I'm usually up around this time."
"Oh, okay."
He turned to leave but stopped himself. Running a hand through his hair, he asked. "Can tonight be 'later'?"
So that's why he was here. "We'll see."
He looked at me and said. "I'll be here by 10:00, is the okay?"
"Okay."