The sky looks so bright today. I hung the last piece of laundry and stretched my body. And thus, my work is done. I think lunch is ready, I glanced at Dina's slender figures who are so busy with her cooking. She is so cute, sometimes a bit feisty but it's fine.
I started to walk and sat on the bench, staring at the concrete views. Some buildings are lower than this and higher than this.
I touched my neck that was covered with bandages. I think I should stop hurting myself. And the first step is the appointment that was arranged by the doctor last night. I haven't received any calls but maybe they would call Ayden?
Past is the past and I need to learn from it.
Learn what though?
Treasuring myself even more?
"Does it hurt?" I looked at Diana who came with two plates on her both hands and she gave them to me.
"Not really." I glanced at the plate. It's tomato penne with avocado. "Just half dead?"
She squinted her eyes toward me and I just grinned widely.
"Not funny, I'll be back with some juice." She said and went back inside and came back after a minute, holding two glasses of orange juices.
"I saw these juices inside the fridge already. Here." She sat next to me and put the drinks in the middle of the space left between us. "I'm too lazy to make a fresh one."
"Wow...this is such a boring view," she said, laughing at the views. I passed her plate and she started to eat it. Right, it is boring.
"I admit it's boring, but at night it will be a little fun. You know, lights everywhere. It's kinda cute."
"Uh-huh…At least it is less noisy, not like my house," she said, sighed heavily.
We both went silent while eating and finished it up while staring at the concrete building, listening to the traffic and aeroplane sounds. It's so loud. Which gave me a headache but it's so weird too that I couldn't help but laugh.
"What is it?" she asked, wiping her mouth with her backhand.
"Nothing. It's just funny."
"About what?" She smiled too.
"About me. You know how I was unable to hear things and often drifted off into my own safe space and eventually, it's just become my own weakness? Everyone thought I'm deaf, well probably. Now that I think about it, I become like that because I hate it so much when people talk about me like they know what happened to me or how they talked about me like they know me. I hate to hear the sounds of myself crying. And eventually, because of that, I am just unable to hear anything and it's become backhanded and sometimes even I thought that I'm deaf. And it's been so long and now, after years, I can hear things loud and clear and I feel like wow, it's so loud that it gave me a headache." I laughed, it's so weird now.
She just nodded. Didn't even bother to say anything back.
"And that's funny."
She nodded again and linked her hand with mine and rubbed it softly.
"That's good, and later on, you will experience more and more things that you haven't before. Some of them might be unpleasant and some of them will be pleasant and beautiful. That's how life is. And I believe this is part of your healing process and it's good. And the other part of it is where you are finally able to eat more than before. That's already good enough and god knows how happy I and Jade are to see that. And you told me that you went out somewhere else, to the mall in the first place, it's already amazed me, Maddie. You might didn't have noticed this, but living on your own, knowing that it's hard and scary, is already showing that you are healing. You're already healing back then, back three years ago. It's just we didn't notice it. You're fighting on your own way." she said, softly. "It's not funny...it's amazing."
I looked at her soft expression.
"Life is rough on you, Maddie but you just proved that you are a fighter, you keep fighting and look! You are taking a step by step in healing and it's great. It would take some time, yes. How long? We don't know. But...trust me. You will be better. Day by day, little by little. And it's not going to be easy. Yes, it's not. It's going to be an unpredictable event in the future and none of us knows what's going to happen. But I reassure you, that as long as Jade and I are alive, and now you have Ayden too. We will support and protect you at all cost"
I smiled when she said that. I leaned my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. It's warm.
"You know...I'm kinda scared of the change. It's so chaotic and the dream I had last night seems so real, I'm so afraid that if this is just a dream and that dream is the reality. I'm scared. But at the same time, I want to feel these feelings even more. I don't care if this is just a dream and when I wake up it will disappear or I can reach for it anymore because I know, even if it's just a dream, at least, for once...I dream about something nice and I'm sure when I woke up, I will feel better." I uttered. And silence falls upon us, but I don't want to open my eyes. She's warm, her breath calms me.
"Maddie…" she called.
"Hm?"
"If it's too much, you can always tell me. I know, you probably think twice to tell Jade that you're having a hard time since Jade is too protective but, I will always support you. So if you're having a hard time moving forward, tell me. I will help you. Or if you're having a hard time with Ayden, tell me. I will kill him."
I laughed at her last comments. I believe her. She will kill him.
"Yes, I will tell you. I will tell you everything." I said, glancing at her, and she smiles too. Maybe she finds it funny too?
"Let's go inside, should we watch TV?" she asked, grabbing our dirty plates and stakes them together. "Your favourite show or my favourite show."
"Can I watch Train Your Dragon three? I haven't watch that one yet."
"Sure, I haven't watch that yet too."
I nodded. And followed her leads inside.
------
We both fall in silence as she boils spaghetti with a pout. And I stirred a bolognese with a heavy sigh. Ayden never broke the promise but I think he's busy with my stuff. It's a bit hurt me though but what should I do? He's handling my things. But he said he will be back for dinner.
I mean, that's why I told him I should handle it by myself!
And now it's seven pm and both of us are cooking our own dinner. I don't mind about me but Diana looks like she could kill someone instantly, and that someone is Jade. If we know they would be this late, then we will just go out and eat outside or just order something.
I turned off the stove and quickly grabbed two plates for me and her.
She then turned off the stove and started to drain the water and tossed the spaghetti on the bolognese pot. And both of us looked at each other when we heard the clicking noise. Ah, they're home.
"Princess, we're home." I could hear Ayden's voice and run to the doorway. I smiled at him. I'm surprised that I'm happy to see him home.
"Welcome back," I said, glancing at Jade who looked so pale like a ghost. Wow, is he that scared that Diana will kill him? Good luck. You'll die soon, Jade.
"Where is she?" He asked, slipping the slippers to his feet stepping inside.
"Kitchen," I said, and he walked past me. I could see that he's holding a plastic bag, then my eyes went back to my man. He's holding a few plastic bags which I assumed were dinner ingredients and my tote bag. Not the one that I always carried but the old one.
"Sorry that we're late. Did you cook already?" he asked, probably already figured out by the smell. He slipping into the slippers and hugged me. "I'm so sorry, baby. I broke my promise, I'm so sorry.
"Yeah, it's fine. How's the packing?"
He smiled, gave me my tote bag, and we both walked back to the kitchen.
"Sorry baby, it's more than I think. It will be done by tomorrow, I just packed things in the boxes and we still have some more. Oh, these are the essential things that you probably need. Ah, and of course you're father's last letter too."
I stopped in the middle of the house, between the living room and kitchen. He glanced at me with a smile and sat down on the dining table, stretching, as he put all of the plastic bags on the table.
I opened my bag and rummaged into it, as I took out a crinkled envelope. The back is already faded but is still visible to read. I smiled feebly. This is my source of strength and he knows. I'm touched.
I put it back inside my bag and sat next to him. Watching Jade stuck with Diana, left to right, comforting her since she's sulking. I can hear Ayden's snickering at him.
I glanced at him, oh god, even his side profile looked perfect. He does look devilish whenever he looks at Jade, but boy, that smile, dangerous! Too dangerous to my heart.
I ran my finger to hold his pinky, making him jerk a little before looking at me.
"Thank you," I said, feeling a little bashful. And his devilish smile softens into a genuine smile. And his eyes which looked so cold while staring at Jade softened and bent along with his smile.
"Anything for you, princess," he said with a whisper.
I giggle. I can feel heat rush to my face and I know that my skin became rosy. He gripped my hand tighter and played with it.
"Anything for you," he repeated. Staring deep into my eyes, as if he saying that he meant it.
"Oh really? I was about to mad at you, this closed." I raised my hand, and I showed him the amount of my limit before getting mad at him because he broke his promise, with my index finger and thumb. Leaving a small space in between. "This much, I was this much before I trample over you."
He let out a laugh, a soft, but yet alluring laugh. What the heck, why does it sound so sexy? It's just a laugh!
"What would you do if you're mad?" he asked, challenging me.
"Who knows? Maybe beating you up into a pulp." I said, smiling teasingly. He laughed, smiling, showing off both of his dimples. It's beautiful. He rested his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand. Staring deeply.
"It will be my pleasure to comforting you since it is my fault, for breaking our promise," he said. With that soft voice, how can I act sulky? All of the planned sulks was washed away with his voice and smiles.
Ah, now I'm not just a sucker for his voice, but his face too. Maybe I'm just with the whole of him, that will be for sure!