The silent treatment keeps going, and today is the third day. Me? Suffocated. It's feel like a house surrounded by a thick cloud. The air is too thin, I can't breathe. I tried to talk to him, but he just 'hmm' or 'okay' or 'later'. It's hurt my feelings a little, even though it was me who cause the problem. I am just a loser, who always bring a problem to him. And he probably realised that now, therefore he avoiding me.
He went to his office early in the morning and came back home late at night. I was sleeping upstairs and he was stuck in his room. And today, he left early.
Tch, this is so absurd. I kicked his laundry basket out of anger, but now I picked it up and brought it to the laundry room.
"Giving me a cold shoulder...jerk!" I grumbled. Tears fall from my eyes, I shouldn't cry. I know. I'm just a pathetic loser. I shoved his clothes inside the washing machine, full of force. And I heard a clicking sound from the front door.
Huh?
I quickly stood up, and went out of the room to see who. I mean I already guessed who but it's only eleven in the morning.
It is him. Walking slowly inside the house, and plopped himself on the sofa.
I should say something, right? I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"You're early. Perhaps, you're going to have lunch here?" I asked, politely, standing behind him. He shook his head, without even looking. Okay that's annoying.
Calm down, Maddie. It's your fault that he's acting like this.
"I want warm water." he said, flat. More like a command. It hurts a little, but I can't be weak! I went to the kitchen and back with warm water.
And now that I looked at him, he looked pale like a ghost. His eye bags are getting darker. I sat next to him and passed him a glass and he gulped it down slowly.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I put my back hand on his forehead, it's not a fever. So what's going on?
"Nothing." he said, putting the glass on the coffee table. He keeps saying that for three days now. I never know, he would be this annoying and persistent over the 'nothing' issue. I bit my lips, glancing at him, who already closed his eyes. Frowning.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly, blinking my eyes slowly. He glanced at me and sighed.
"I said it's nothing," he said, sternly. Cold. It hurts. Am I just a housekeeper now? A mere housekeeper who is being noisy? I miss him.
And silence fell upon us, filling the whole house. I'm having a hard time, overthinking. My head started to throb. I fidgeting my fingers.
"That day…" I break the silence. My voice cracks, I keep my eyes down. Unable to look at him. " That day...I saw him...uh...Henry...that guy, yeah, uh...he's a doctor, I think. He's wearing a white coat, pushing a patient...so...I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I don't think it's a big deal…" I finally told him. "So don't be upset with me anymore…" And I burst into a cry.
Damn! I miss him so much.
And he leaned forward and wiped my tears off. He is frowning, and I'm scared.
"That was him?" he asked, coldly. And I nodded. Is he still upset?
"I'm sorry." I tried to stop crying but it just hurt.
He chewed his lips and sighed heavily. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just...acting dumb. I know, I should be the one who said sorry."
I sobbed, shaking my head lightly.
"Please talk to me about everything from time to time, Maddison. I'm not upset, I'm hurt. It feels like you didn't trust me enough to share things with me and I can't figure out what's going on. I can't read your mind, my dear. I need you to tell me what's going on. I don't like it when you just brushed off my question when I'm asking you because I want to help you. I want to do something. If you are scared, I want to protect you, if you are hurt then I want to heal you. If you cry, I want to wipe off your tears, I want to be the reason why you're laughing too. I need you... To be honest with me. That's all, Maddie. I didn't even ask you to tell me about the whole story, I just asked you, to share very slight things with me. I want you to answer me when I asked 'what's wrong. You can just say, that man was the reason I broke! I won't ask what he does, I just want to know who is he to you that makes you look so worried, pale and shocked. You're shaking that day, Maddie. Your eyes trembling, and you looked so pale. I'm...I just worried!" he said, choking. I could see his eyes getting teary.
"And when you just said, 'it was nothing' while looked like you're having a hard time, baby! Do you know how I feel? Talk to me, lean on me, depends on me. Used me, baby. Use me like I'm your shield, Maddie! I want to protect you, Maddie. If you want me to kill him, I will. But all I need is you, telling me. Talk to me. Share with me. That's all, Maddie. That's all that I asked." he said, frustratingly. He averted his eyes and wiped them off roughly. He sniffles a little.
We both shut, letting my voice sobbing.
"Talk to me...about everything. It's fine if you find it hard for you to talk about everything, but at least tell me, 'that's him!'. At least I could do something. At the very least. So, later, on the next appointment, I could protect you from bumping into him. At least I could do something. Lean on me, damn it! "
He wiped my tears and I cried even more. Which makes him flustered. I felt distant from him.
"I'm sorry for being selfish and childish, I know we can just talk about it but it hurts my feelings too, Maddie," he added.
And I cried even harder. He started to panic and hugged me tightly.
"I'm sorry...next time, if I feel hurt, I will just tell you so we can talk properly. It's my fault too for being childish. I'm the older one so I should be the mature one here but I'm being immature and sulking instead. Sorry baby. Sorry that I hurt you."
And I hugged him too, still feeling anxious. And hurts. And knowing that I hurt him, hurt me even more. Damn, I'm so pathetic.
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It took me about thirty minutes to stop crying, and I finally stopped. I blew my runny nose with the tissue he gave me. It's so embarrassing how he was staring at me crying and then I stained his shirt with my tears and snot. His hands were around my waist and he kept moving his hands up and down.
He even pinched my nose and helped me blow it.
"Feeling better?" he asked, breaking the silence. I nodded. And now I'm embarrassed. I tried to get off of him but his grips on my waist are just too strong.
"No running away, baby girl," he said, still a little cold.
"I just…" words stuck in my throat and eyes locked with his gaze. It's beautiful. I rubbed his under eyes that were getting darker than before. "It's getting worse...are you okay? You look pale. You're home early. What's wrong?"
My hands stroked his face softly, I can feel the growing stubble on his face. Last time I saw him like this was months ago. He nuzzled his face on my hand, slowly leaning forward and buried his face on my neck.
"I can't sleep. I haven't slept. And I miss you. I feel bad making you cry and we're having our first fight because of a small thing. I'm overworked myself since I want to calm myself down. I know I'm being childish and ignoring you for two days. I must hurt you, right? Sorry, baby."
"Why?"
He pushed me a little and looked at me deeply. A soft gaze.
"Because we fought. That's why. I promised you that I would come up with the best solution if we had an argument and solved our problem properly before, but as it turned out, we left it hanging. I left it hanging. I make you cry. I broke another promise. I'm sorry, baby."
"I'm sorry too. I'm dumb." I said, started to tear again. "I just think that it's past, I shouldn't care about it, past is past, and I should focus on the present so I can be happy in future. And I don't think that it would make you upset over it. I should tell you. I'm sorry."
He rubbed my cheek with a smile. He still frowning, as if he was thinking about something. His facial expression slowly softens, but still, he can't hide his anxiety from me. His eyes. Too much honesty, but I can't read them. I can't read what he's thinking. He slowly smiling, rubbing my tights softly.
"Is that so? But let me tell you one more time, Maddison. Communication is key in every single relationship. If we lack it, then it will meet the end. I don't want that. I want you to be able to talk to me, no matter how hard it is, and I will do the same. No matter how ugly the truths are. Talk to me. If it's hard for you to tell me about your past, then I will wait until you're ready. Take your time, but eventually, you need to tell me too for me to help you, healing! But other than that, like what happened in the hospital, you look pale, baby. You look scared. That's why I asked you, what's wrong. Okay? Talk to me!"
He pressed his words, and I know, he meant every sentence he said.
I nodded.
"I understand," I uttered, glancing at him with teary eyes. Now that he told me to talk, I will talk. I fidgeting my fingers.
"Ayden…" I called him, and he looked at me with a smile.
"Hm?" he answered, slipping my hair behind my ears, fixing my curtain bangs that are getting longer now.
"Are you still upset?" I asked carefully. He smirked. Leaning his back to the sofa but his hands were still on my waist.
"Probably," he said, shrugging his shoulders lightly. "You need to comfort me. I'm still sulking, princess."
I almost smiled when I said that nickname. But how to comfort him?
"Are you hungry, I can cook something good," I said. He scoffed and shake his head.
"No, I don't need that. I want something else."
Huh? What?
I hesitantly hugged him, patted his back. I could feel his body shaking a little. He must be holding his laughter right? I pushed him a little so I could see his face, but he still looked expressionless. Frowning as if he was still sulking.
"What should I do so I can make you feel better?" I asked awkwardly.
Thus, he's smiling, sweetly, showing off his dimples. His eyes are bent and his teeth are showing.
"Kiss me." He said, moving forward abruptly, and stopped one inch in front of me. I almost fell because of that but he pulled me closer, which made our foreheads bump into each other. We both winced, but he let out a laughed. He looked down at my necklace that was hanging nicely around my neck.
Then, his eyes slowly looked up and locked them with mine. We both fall in silence. Only my heartbeat sounds fill my ears, as it sounds like a symphony.
I felt warm.
"Hi princess," he said, whispering. "I miss you," he said, sighing.
"I'm sorry, for being childish, sulking and making you cry." he looked straight into my eyes, his eyes teary. "It's supposed to be a good day, I should treat you to a meal, as a celebration. You're taking a huge step in healings, and I...I'm a fucking thicko." he said.
"I'm sorry too. I should talk to you, but I didn't."
We both fall into silence again, staring at each other.
"Can I kiss you, Maddison?" he asked, whispering. I could feel the heat rushing through my face and brain, I can't think. My hands slowly went up to his face, shaking. It's not like our first kiss or something but I feel different. I miss him.
He let out a chuckle. Still eyeing me. His eyes are gleaming. It's blinding.
I closed my eyes tight and dropped my lips on his, smooching him. I could feel him smirking. And he cupped my face and kiss me deeply. Dominating me, and I completely lost. And I don't know how, but I could feel my back landed on the sofa and he was above me, kissing me deeply. One of his hands moved down to my neck, pulling me even closer as he twisted his tongue around me. I tried to follow his lead but he let out another laugh and let me gasp the air.
He pushed strands of hair off my face, and slowly stroked my face.
"Damn, baby," he whispered, leaving wet kisses all over my face. "I miss you. I'm so fucking sorry. Forgive me, princess."
Heat rushed to my whole body, and I hide my face with both of my hands. He chuckles, even more, leaving kisses on my hands, and slowly removed them half of my face. His eyes locked with mine and we fall into silence again. He looks so stunning.
"Are you feeling better now?" I asked. A little shy. A while ago, he looked like a walking dead, and we were finally able to have a deep conversation and now we're in this kind of position. embarrassing.
"Usually it would take more than this, but yes, I do feel better," he said, biting my nose.
I frowned and punched his shoulder as hard as I can, making him whined in pain.