As Barney laid on his bed chewing on his toy, he curiously glanced at the many piles of gold bricks now surrounding his bed. This was to be Barney's new palace. Now that Alex had enough gold to be a king, Barney would also become the king of the dogs.
Alex was sitting on his couch looking at three items sitting on his coffee table. They were the treasures he stole from the locked room in the Federal Reserve.
"Scott, do you know what these things are?"
'Lord, these are all items that came from chosen ones' inner worlds, also known as artifacts. Being from foreign inner worlds, they still carry traces of those energy signatures allowing Generals to be able to know some information about them. However, it would probably be best to ask Houdini.
"Hmm...take me in to see him."
'Sir, if you like you can just speak to him directly...'
"I want to see what that face painted fool has been up to."
***
Being captured as a prisoner of war rarely went well. That's why at first, Houdini was pessimistic about his new situation. That is until he saw Cardopolis, the grand civilization of cards. When he first started learning magic as a child, it was because he was enraptured by the card tricks he had seen in a book. It was the beginning of his journey. So this city, in a way, was his dream city!
He walked around the roads paved with card shaped bricks. He read the card shaped newspapers. He enjoyed dessert at a cafe served on a card shaped plate. Finally, he found himself in a convenience store which sold a variety of items, most of them card shaped. At the front desk, he saw something he recognized, a deck of Bee playing cards for sale.
"Sir!" Houdini called for a clerk.
"Yes?" a fat man came out of the back wearing card shaped glasses with slits in them.
"What do you call these?" Houdini asked, pointing to the Bee cards
The attendant looked at him as if he was an alien. "...You need to find God, Son."
"I don't understand..."
"Did you get hit over the head with a heavy card or something? That's the oldest thing known to man...The Holy Card Bible." The man's eyes showed a reverent expression.
"The oldest thing known to man?"
"The stories go that when our first ancestors came to exist, these were the first things they found, lying within and atop the ground. These holy cards taught them how to live. They gave them hope and the courage to build a society. If you want a copy, that'll be 3 cardcash."
Houdini felt that this world was meant for him, that he could understand it, and it him. He felt if he could get these cards that they would help him quickly become in tune with this place. However, when he checked his pockets, he realized that he had only just arrived here and was penniless. This was a time to improvise. "Look! It's the queen of hearts!" He pointed out the window to the rear of the clerk.
"What? Where?!?" The man promptly turned and scanned through the window. When he turned back around, Houdini was still there blinking at him.
"...My mistake Sir, I must go to a physician to get a pair of those fine card glasses."
The store clerk snorted and went back to his business.
When Houdini left, the man didn't notice that the display was now short a Holy Card Bible.
Houdini made it disappear.
***
Alex arrived to the sky lounge. "Where is he?"
"I will take you to him, Sir," Scott replied.
Moments later, the two of them were in the middle of the busy commercial district of Cardopolis. Alex's face immediately turned black.
There, with a hat on the ground full of cardcash, was Houdini entertaining a group of children with various card tricks.
"This ignoramus just can't help himself. It's like it's in his blood." Alex shook his head. "It was good I came here. Scott, watch him and let me know if he becomes Pennywise and starts murdering children."
"...Yes, Sir."
"Houdini!" Scott yelled.
Upon hearing that voice, Houdini froze mid-reach as he was pulling a cardcoin out from behind a kid's ear. He immediately sprinted over to Alex's front. "At your service, master."
"Don't call me master. One, you're not a cute female maid. Two, your last master became a pancake and I'm not interested in following his lead. Sir or Lord will do."
"...Yes, Lord."
"Houdini, I'm going back but I'll need to ask you some things when I'm there so you're going to have to cut the buffoonery short."
"Of course, Lord."
...
Alex was back in his living room, looking at the epic loot in front of him.
"Houdini, I need you to tell me what these items are."
'Yes, Lord. That golden apple is from the Silver Branch in Ireland. It is a cultivation treasure that can be eaten,' Houdini explained.
"Someone tell me more about cultivation."
'Sir, cultivation is the process of strengthening one's mind and body. In Cardopolis, there is the card cultivation system as you are aware. On Earth, however, due to richer world energy and the presence of many chosen ones with varying inner worlds, there exists a multitude of cultivation systems. Nevertheless, they can all be approximately compared based on a level system. Mortals can cultivate from levels 1 to 9," Scott chimed in.
"Interesting...What level am I now? 1, 2?"
'Negative 4, Sir.'
"How the hell is it negative?!?"