"Wayne!" i yelled as i drag him.
"What--- where are we going?" his face is full of question.
"You have to help me search for more books about this place. I want to know more about the hell, the demons and Lucifer." i replied when we entered the library.
"But why so?" he furrows.
I released his hand before i answered him back, "It's because.. I just realized that I've been here for a long time but i know nothing about these place." i can't tell the truth that i really want to know about that brothers.
I feel so frustrated that i actually know nothing about him yet i know Phantom's secret.
He stared at me for about a second like he was observing me, "Hmm.. Why don't you just tell the truth?" he said as his eyes and smile is saying that he already know my real intention.
I pushed him away from me, "I don't know what you mean by that but i already told you the reasons so just help me already."
Of course i still denied it, and he just shut his mouth respecting my decision.
We waste our time just reading not even saying a word.
"Really, you like him right?" he said that break the silence in the room.
It made my eyes widen. "Huh?!! Stop joking around will you?!" i exclaimed.
"You can't fool me okay? Just be honest it's just between the two of us." and he smiled meaningfully.
I sigh and said, "I.. I don't know really, i know nothing about those kinds of feelings. I mean what love really is. I don't know." i said while looking down, staring at the table.
"Everyone here doesn't know that, but you know what it's really rare for demons to fall in love. In this world those kind of feelings that humans have isn't necessarily important." he pulled one of the chair and sat in front of me.
"But what the others said is that the Highness parents loved each other so much that he is here but no one knows how to explain it because even them doesn't know what love is." i can see in his face that his actually sad.
I fixed myself and face him.
"But you know what, it is really rare for someone who died to still have their memories with them. It is really new for me even before we met." he said, that made my brows meet.
'That's true, i already died and now in hell so why is that my memories is still clear as water?'
When i picked up the book that i was just reading then at the bottom of it is a book about 'All about the souls.'
Out of curiosity i lift and read it in silence which made Wayne curious as well.
"What's that?" he ask and tilt his head a little bit to look in my face.
"Book about the souls, i died so basically I'm already a soul right maybe there is an answer here why i still have my memories with me." i replied and turned the pages looking for it.
"This!" i said as i pointed it out.
"Souls who have died and still have memories with them isn't dead. Their body maybe unconscious but not dead at all. There is a chance that they can go back to their world with the help of.." I'm reading it out loud as i furrows. I turned the next page and found it missing it was ripped. I look for the other pages and the other books but i found nothing, it is no longer here.
"Just why.." i touched my forehead as i leaned in the table.
"So it means that you're still alive so why.." even Wayne is also confuse as i am.
I sigh, "I want to rest, I'll leave first." i just said and left him in the room.
I feel so stressed and was in deep thought while walking without knowing where to go let my feet decides and ended up bumping someone i almost shouted to whoever it is but as i lift my head i saw Lucifer.
"Yes sir?" i ask in a cold voice.
"Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask? Why are you here?" i don't know what to answer because I've been so pressured on everything i've witnessed and found.
"Is it true that I'm actually still alive in my real world?" i didn't expect that i said it out loud my mind is so messed up right now but it's better to say it now than i always keep silent like before.
"Where did you heard that?" he frowned.
"Just answer me." i couldn't restraint this emotion of mine anymore.
Yet he didn't answer. He just stayed quiet like he doesn't have a plan to answer me so..
"How many more lies should i hear from you and Phantom. I'm already tired of this." i feel like I'm drowning from this feeling i don't know what I'm already saying.
"I.. I hate being with you." those words coming out from my mouth, i didn't expect that to happen and i covered my mouth from shock. I was just carried by my emotions.
"No.. I'm.." trying to explain but words ain't coming out from my mouth anymore. As i lift my head i saw Lucifer's blue eyes turned into red.
"Tell me do you think you still have something to go back in your world? You think someone is actually waiting for you?" he said with a cold voice how he looks down at me is somewhat fells like I'm being stabbed.
I can't answer his questions, he's right what's the use for me to go back in my world wherein there is actually nothing for me to come back and i know too that no one also cares about me since I've been such a bitch towards them.
Thinking about it made me realized how worthless i was. It hurts that i want to dig my own grave and just hide myself there cause of embarrassment.
He came closer towards me near my ears and said, "Your just a hoe for them, even here."
And finally i slapped him, i already know it but why is it that it hurts even more when those words came out from his mouth.
I feel like crying now.
He didn't move an inch to where he is standing and not saying a word.
I gripped my hands, now i regret what i just did.
I was gonna explain and apologize but he then just moved and starts walking away from me leaving me here full of regrets and embarrassment.