Chapter 14 Stop with all the questions
Lily felt her head was going to explode with all her unanswered questions. It was one thing for her friend to be a 'Man of Mystery', but today really took the cake! For every one thing she found out, it seemed like a hundred more things were eating away at her brain. And the ridiculous wantwit didn't like answering questions, or gave brief inadequate answers.
Except he had the nerve to ask a huge question of Lily today! For someone that was so bright in class, he must have the bizarrest thought processes … how does one go from alluding that something is unsatisfactory at school and then propose marriage? Petunia would have a whole list of words to apply as a diagnosis to that situation, and Lily wouldn't be surprised if her parents came to the same conclusions.
She was even doubting the things that she thought she did know for certain. Severus had a firm cutoff time to go home 'for dinner'. Well, now that Lily had seen his kitchen, what chance was there that any food was prepared in there? She also felt a bit silly that she didn't take the time to investigate more closely. There was an old black stove in there, but it was like one of those ones Lily saw on a BBC costume drama, not in someone's actual house. The sink had been so full of bottles that she couldn't see a faucet. Was there even any running water in the house? Vaguely she remembered some grade school classmates from down by the river that referred to some pump and having a chore to get water. Lily didn't remember spotting a refrigerator, and it was unlikely that she'd be welcome in the kitchen on future visits to snoop around more.
Lily should have also left him locked out of his room while she snooped in his school trunk. Lily could be worrying about nothing because Severus could have it stuffed with food to last him all summer.
Foolish of Lily not to have thought of that first considering how much food made it from the Hogwarts kitchen to the Gryffindor common room. Those Marauders didn't even wait for an excuse for a party, they just strolled back in and started pulling out a feast. A twenty-pound roast turkey wasn't enough for four hungry boys, they also bring up a goose, spiral ham and a side of prime rib to pick over while they goofed off under the pretense of studying. And then greasy goose and other bits of cooked flesh end up all over when they started throwing them at other students. Stupid berks even told Lily off for pointing out what wasteful gluttons and slobs they were, and then all her housemates were on her case about the unwritten rule about prefects not taking points from their own house. It's not like a prefect from another house is going to show up in the Gryffindor common room, so of course, it's part of her job. Lily clenched her fists at the thought of all the grief she got over being a prefect from her own house.
Smarting over the lack of respect, Lily jerked a couple items out of her closet and threw them on her bed to change for dinner. Dinner at the Evans was not a formal affair, but her dad wanted his girls to look … covered … for family time.
Other than the bedroom door staying open, they didn't lay down any extra rules with Lily for Severus. Kind of silly anyway since they strolled around no matter how hot it got in the summer for Lily to be forced to wear more than was absolutely necessary. Although they were two sixteen-year-olds, Lily was pretty sure that they had seen enough body parts that neither was in danger of being lecherously jumped by the other. That was something else Lily owed those stinking Marauders for. She may have been able to keep her robe on, but what they had done to Severus … in front of so many people. He still hadn't said anything about it, unless that was what he so poorly trying to express earlier today. Maybe Severus didn't care.
Lily could imagine if she got an insatiable desire to see it, not even specifically his it,but any boy's, she'd probably ask Severus. Wouldn't have to worry about her best friend getting the wrong idea, and he'd probably just jerk his trousers down, after an annoyed look and a long-suffering sigh to indicate to Lily how silly he thought she was being. Yes, Lily could definitely see Severus doing that for her – not that she wanted to see itagain. Lily was saving herself for marriage and then she'd have plenty of time for that sort of thing. Oh gosh, is that why he proposed, Severus wanted to … shag? Lily's brow furrowed as she tried to think of anything Sev had ever said about that subject. Just brief flashes of disgust at aggressive public displays between students, and he expressed revulsion at whatever the blokes in his dorm did.
Lily arrived downstairs in time to help her mother bring food to the dining room table, and then took her seat on the side, facing Petunia, with her dad at the head, and her mother at the foot of the table, closest to the kitchen.
Once the food started moving and the initial greetings were completed, the weather was the first topic of discussion since there was an unexpected sudden rain earlier in the day. Lily waited her turn and went last to relate how the rain affected her.
"Sev and I were outside sitting under a tree ..."
Her mother commented, "Thank goodness there wasn't any lightning, dear."
"Yes," Lily agreed. "Anyway, it was raining too hard for us to stay dry there. So, uh, we went to his house so he could dry our clothes."
Petunia's look clearly conveyed her understanding that Lily didn't mean with a clothes dryer.
"And since it was still raining I went inside his house with him."
Simultaneously, her parents immediately asked two different questions - "Were you all alone in the house with Severus?" and "His father wasn't home, was he?"
Petunia was speechless with horror written across her face.
Lily imagined what Petunia would add to the discussion and was grateful her sister remained quiet.
"Uh, that's 'no' to both. His mum was home." Lily kept silent on the weeks, months or years accumulation of booze bottles surrounding her in the kitchen. Words were insufficient, she'd need a photograph to convey what she saw. And that would only be the beginning, unless there was a magical version that was scratch and sniff.
Her mother leaned forward expectantly. She knew Severus's mum was his magical parent. Lily elaborated, "She was in the kitchen, and when I met her, she was watching the rain coming down out the window. I was … kind of disappointed to notice she's not a good housekeeper."
If there was one womanly art that Petunia prized most highly, that was it. The radiant grin that broke out over her sister's face was a look of triumph that hard work and constant care of a home by a mere muggle won hands down over some clod that relied on magic.
Lily's mother suggested, "Well, don't be too hard on her, Lily dear. How was she supposed to know you'd just drop by after all this time? You probably just caught her unprepared for guests."
Petunia shot her mother a disgusted look. If someone just dropped by Petunia's future dream house, she'd be ready for company before the doorbell even rang. Thank you very much.
"I guess. I even insisted Sev show me his room since I hadn't seen it before. His bed was made, and the room was very tidy. Small, but tidy."
Lily's father took this opportunity to wax poetic over his days in the Navy. "Aboard ship, that was absolutely critical. Had to keep it shipshape. Everything in its place or it would be anarchy. Severus has always struck me as a self-reliant fellow."
"Except for breakfast and lunch every day so far this summer," Petunia complained bitterly.
Her mother just sighed at the futility of getting Petunia to keep a civil tongue. Mrs. Evans could definitely say a few things herself about someone who had time to watch rain fall instead of getting some food on the table for a son that practically disappeared when he turned sideways.
"I had gotten to thinking while we were there … since Severus's mum is home, he can get a bit of practice at schoolwork in because they don't monitor whether its him or his mum doing it." Sometimes it was just so hard to try to talk in code for Petunia's delicate ears, Lily thought, as she explained. "And they wouldn't be able to tell it was me either if I did my homework there. It's only fair because all the kids at school with those parents practice over the summer. So uh, I had Sev ask his mum, and she said it was all right if I came over for that the rest of the summer." In Lily's book, vagueness was all right, but she wasn't going to tell an outright lie like Sev's mum would help them learn anything. She had no reason to doubt Sev's assessment regarding the possibility of his mum helping them out.
"Well, I wouldn't want you over there so much that you became a nuisance, Lily," her mother suggested quietly. "She's probably not used to company over all the time like us."
Lily's father's voice went a bit deep as he asked, "What about Mr. Snape – his father?"
"Severus did mention that it'd probably be best if we stopped doing homework if he came home early. Also Sev said he's loud so I guess we won't get surprised and have some sort of accident that we'll have to get sorted."
The table fell silent as this possible change was digested. Lily's explanation sounded too normal, and that's what was fueling their doubts. However, Lily's parents did trust her so their final decision was that they'd tentatively allow it. She didn't need to pull out a crystal ball to foresee that her parents were going to question her constantly over her movements. Lily was rather spoiled that till this point all she needed to say she was leaving with Severus and never bothered to specify a destination because they didn't go anywhere. Anyway, Petunia was always reporting back on what Lily was doing with that Snape boy as they wandered aimlessly around.
Since Lily had dropped such a bombshell at dinner, she let conversation take its normal course rather than trying to get even more attention with sensational tales.
She now had permission from her parents to go to Sev's, and if things didn't start becoming apparent real soon,she'd demand Severus spill. Secrets could be fun, but some of this stuff was real life, not just playing around so Lily didn't feel he should leave his best friend in the dark.
After dinner, Petunia went to work at the cinema, but Lily decided that she wasn't going to let her sister get away. In fact, she was a prisoner in the ticket booth when there were no customers. Petunia was resistant to the idea that things did not go as planned today for Lily. So after a bit of sisterly argument, Lily merely resorted to her manners and thanked Petunia again for the lovely time they shared the evening before with the hope they could do more stuff like that soon.
Returning home with the reflection that people do not change overnight, Lily stayed calm and got on with writing letters to her schoolmates, and finished all she intended before turning in for the night.
Less than five minutes later, Lily was back out of bed and turned on the lamp at her desk. Some stuff that she was thinking about was so important, she thought she'd better write it down before she forgot.
1. Go to the bathroom before leaving the house.
Lily didn't think she'd forget this one, but she didn't want to take a chance that Severus would just direct her 'out back'. At least he wasn't crude about normal body functions. Gryffindor boys would have all sorts of names for whatever it is, and then probably draw pictures of it with wavy lines all around to indicate the aroma.
2. Food?
It would be bad manners to pack a picnic lunch for them, if there were already provisions made by the host. However, if Lily didn't ask, she could end up with … saltines? Did Severus even have a box of crackers?
3. Ask mom what tooth powder is
There was a whole drawer of new toothbrushes in the bathroom, but Lily didn't know if she should also take some toothpaste too, without knowing if it was better. She didn't think he'd argue over a new toothbrush, but Lily should get something ready to say about that, just in case. Soap? The Evans had lots of new bars still wrapped, but just because Lily liked pink curved bars best didn't mean that Sev's was bad. He didn't smell, and it would definitely more challenging to convince him to accept soap.
What else? Lily was sure she thought of something else while lying there. That was the whole reason she got up to make a list, so she could think about more than the bathroom arrangement, or lack of it, and get back to thinking, or better yet, sleeping.
She turned off the light and got back into bed. Heck, Lily might not even be going over there tomorrow. She wanted to, but would her impatience be so evident that Severus would suspect something?
Was he already in bed too?
What did he wear in bed? She didn't see any pajamas in his drawers.
Was he just as sleepless as Lily over today?
Was he sleepless most nights because he always thought someone was going to try to hurt him and he had to make defense plans?
Was he sleepless most nights because someone had hurt him, and he needed to go over everything in his mind to speculate how he could have done something different so he didn't get hurt?
Did he snore?
Did he hog covers or kick them off?
Was he all jabby elbows and knees?
What would it be like to marry Severus?
What did he envision for them as husband and wife? Lily hadn't thought about marriage in more than a vague sense before. She'd like a nice house with room for children. Maybe they'd go to Hogwarts too. Since between them they only had one wizarding parent, what were the chances? Although they'd have to do that as the first step to have children, well the second step after getting married, of course. And now darn it, Lily was thinking about it again.
She hoped the Marauders burned in hell. Till just after the DADA OWL, Lily was fine. Now she kept thinking about Sev's thing. She was smart enough to know what's what, but it was all a lot simpler a month ago. And then all those idiots talking about snakes and hippogriffs, like that meant anything about anything. If people didn't like some guy, they'd insult him by insinuating his thingwas really small. This logic was not making sense because as far as Lily knew, people did not like Severus, so why didn't they compare his to … a flobberworm? Gosh darn it, Lily realized she was turning into some kind of pervert. Just like the rest of Gryffindor house.