Chapter 20 Worse than Freak
Lily was annoyed. Severus was sulking, and she was the one getting punished. Bad enough Petunia was taking the time to hang around her whenever she left her bedroom to imitate the Cheshire Cat.
Her nosy mother wouldn't believe that after spending all summer together, they just needed some alone time. They'd see each other soon enough at school. No, oh no, she had to give Lily talks about anything that could possibly be wrong – yes, the woman that had warned her about one thing leading to another was now worried that Severus Snape stopped being her shadow. Lily felt just a shred of guilt about her mother speculating that he could be hurt or not have anything to eat. The rest, well the rest was just a load of rubbish. She knew Sev had a temper and could say some pretty nasty things, but if he said something to Lily in a moment of anger, it didn't mean that Lily wouldn't be his friend anymore. How could her mother think she was so shallow?
After a week of not seeing him, Lily couldn't take it anymore. It was for her mother's sake that she'd sort this out, she couldn't stand to see her worry. The reason was definitely not because Lily didn't like kissing her hand or hugging her pillow, and wanted Sev back. Rather curl up with the giant squid first.
Spinner's End at daybreak was like any other time of day, except the shadows were deeper, and the dawning sunlight did not herald a new beginning, rather the promise that this is as good as it gets so stop wasting time daydreaming because if one doesn't, one won't survive to see nightfall.
Lily's plan to wait and watch for Severus was interrupted by some disreputable looking fellow who hissed, "How much?"
Seeing no one else around, Lily replied, "I'm not selling anything."
As he shambled closer, Lily got a nose full of a foul mixture of sweat, urine and alcohol. She didn't want to look him in the face because one glance was enough to convince her that Argus Filch could look a whole lot worse. It was hard to ignore the way he was eying her though. "Freebie then?" he asked suggestively.
"No," Lily replied indignantly, ready to hex him if he lurched any closer.
With a leer, he leaned against a wall and casually recommended, "You might like what you see," as he opened the front of his trousers.
With a squeak, Lily went running over to the Snapes front door which was on the sunny side of the street.
Turning to look back, she was relieved that the rotter hadn't followed her. He was still in the same spot in the shadows, looking straight at her, and doing something with his hands in front of his waist.
Ignoring the show across the road, Lily gave Severus's door a quick study. Sev just stroked and said something to it, but there was a lock. His parents had to be more reasonable than some lunatic on the street, she rationalized as she whispered alohamora.
She tried it, but it was still locked.
There was a loud cry of "Oh yeah" from across the street, followed by a string of words that were not used in polite company. Not done with harassing her yet, the ruined man approached and shuffled just into the sunlight, while holding his trousers up, rather than fastening them. He cackled, "I got a second go in me, girlie," then licked the flecks of spit off his cracked lips in a lewd manner.
At this point, Lily didn't care if she had to face a hungover Tobias Snape who was interrupted while giving his wife the 'hard one'. She pounded on the door for all she was worth … and heard barely anything. It would have been louder if she slapped a concrete block.
With a quick glance backward to make sure her tormentor was keeping his distance, Lily looked at the door again. It was as she thought, no knocker or doorbell. The Snapes obviously did not care if someone was at their door.
Ready to defend herself later for attacking a muggle, Lily turned to glare at the pervert, standing up straight and throwing her shoulders back to show she wasn't afraid.
He laughed at her, and said, "Later then. Just whistle and I'll come take care of ya."
Lily did not take her eyes off him as he retreated slowly back into the shadows and then out of sight.
Reconsidering her plan, Lily decided waiting across the street in the shadows was not a good idea. Severus would not be able to see her here on the front doorstep from his window if she stayed close to his house. All she had to do was cross her fingers that one of his parents wouldn't be the first one to open the door and trip over her.
She tried to act nonchalant as some denizens of Spinner's End crawled out of their lairs. Most of the activity was children running to do errands, including some carrying buckets. Some were bold enough to stare at her, but Lily pretended it was perfectly natural for her to be lurking on the doorstep of this house.
As the ill-dressed urchins returned, moving more slowly with their burdens, they openly stopped to take a break and give her a good looking at.
Appearing not to be intimidated, Lily crossed her arms over her chest and stared back at them.
After some whispers, one of the smaller dirty boys asked, "Got any food?"
"No, I'm sorry. I don't," Lily politely replied.
A bigger one with a sly look to him, then asked with a grin, "How about money?"
"No," Lily answered in a decidedly less friendly tone.
"Maybe we should check your pockets to be sure," he said as the children surged towards her.
One of them giggled, and said, "My hands are smaller to fit into those tight shorts."
Lily was shocked. These children couldn't be older than first years. Hexing them was going to be more incriminating than blasting that dirty old man. She was going to be expelled.
She was overcome with panic as she suddenly fell backwards into the Snapes house. Severus snarling, "What?" was enough to scatter the poor frightened tykes.
Rather than asking more complex questions, he only looked down at her, still where she had fallen on her bum, and asked in a reasonable tone of voice, "Well?"
Frowning as she looked up at him, Lily considered that her mother might be satisfied that she had seen Severus alive and somewhat well. He was already dressed in trousers with braces, undershirt, and shoes, but could not be clearly seen in the shadowy interior of the house.
Unprepared to offer an explanation from the floor, Lily uttered, "Uh ..." while making an attempt to get up.
Sev offered her his hand and gave her a helping tug. He muttered, "It's early."
"Yes."
"I just got up," he explained as he moved outside where Lily could see that Severus's hair looked more of a mess than it usually was.
She followed and he closed the door, then moved to the side of the house and walked in the direction of the river. Lily took a couple quick steps to catch up with him, and reached for his hand.
He shrugged and kept her from taking his hand, explaining, "I haven't washed or anything yet."
After the morning she had so far, Lily needed a good washing too. "My mum noticed you haven't come over this week."
"Hmm," was his only reply as he turned away from the filthy, trash-strewn river to go through an opening in the dilapidated wood fence behind his house.
"She worries about you, Sev. … I do too."
"Are you following me, Lily?"
Lily looked around the garden that really wasn't. It was bare earth with weeds. She looked at the back of the house, and really had no idea why he walked all the way around it. She shrugged, but Severus was being a git and had turned his back to her. "Why not?" she asked.
He whirled to look her in the eye. Seeing she seemed serious, he sighed deeply, waved his hand vaguely, and asked, "What do you want ... kissing, touching, now you want to watch me pee."
Lily's mouth dropped open and the gasp that should have emerged died as she realized that Severus's question was rhetorical, he was already preparing to do what she never asked him to show her. Although he used both hands to keep that bit covered, Lily blushed and forgot to close her mouth.
When he seemed to be finishing, she snapped out of it and looked up. Severus had been watching her watch him. She refused to look back down as he covered up.
He continued to stare at her, letting it sink into her mind how sick this was, and she followed him back here, knowing, well not knowing, but she should have known … and she blurted out, "You don't shave?"
A very slow blink was given, before he explained, "It's a charm that lasts a while."
"You're going to have to teach me that one, Sev."
He looked pained, gave his head a slight shake to throw his hair over his eyes and left the backyard.
Lily followed. She did enough strange stuff that he forgot, or at least had the decency never to bring up, could she be forgiven? Sometimes it was good to have a friend who didn't talk about much than schoolwork. If it was Helen or Mary, they'd be 'Remember the time Lily ….' This morning was definitely not going to be in any letters to them.
Lost in thought, Lily plowed right into the back of Severus who had stopped short of the front door, and muttered, "Sir," while looking at his feet.
"What's this?" Tobias Snape growled.
With a jerk of his head towards Lily, Severus explained, "She needs to borrow a book to finish her homework."
Lily assumed an innocent and hopeful look while looking at the man who had been pointed out to her, usually by Petunia, over the years. This was the closest she had ever gotten to Mr. Snape. He was giving her a piercing, cold stare. It was unlike the look that the other citizens of Spinner's End gave her this morning. His blue eyes dissected her, noting the wand that did not fit in hidden in her pocket, but finding nothing else of value.
"Well, get it, you good-for-naught, worthless, shiftless sack of shit."
She had seen Severus move fast when dueling, and this was just as quick as he somehow slid past his father who was taking up most of the entire doorway, without touching him in the slightest. Lily took a step forward to follow, but a finger was jabbed in her direction, "You stay here."
"Yes, sir," Lily replied, trying to keep things on the right track. She added, "Thank you for letting me borrow the book, Mr. Snape."
Obviously not swayed by good manners, he merely grunted in response. Mr. Snape was dressed similar to Severus, except his clothes fit, and may have less than ten years of wear on them. Even though he had already evaluated Lily, he continued to stare at her.
Severus returned, slid through the door, and thrust a book at Lily. It was their 2nd year Defense text. As meaningless as the instructor that year.
"Thank you, Severus. Ah, good day. And good day to you, Mr. Snape," Lily attempted to sway him with a smile.
She thought it worked because he gruffly replied, "Good morning" in response, but then immediately followed it by grabbing Sev by the upper arm, and pulled him into the house. "Get the fuck in here ..." and the door slammed closed. She heard nothing from inside, even though Mr. Snape had been speaking very loudly when the door shut.
This was wrong. Lily dropped the Defense text, and clenched her hands into fists. After a full minute, Lily took a deep breath. She didn't actually expect that bullying coward to come right back out the front door, ready to be hexed to within an inch of his contemptible life? Picking up the book, she stepped back further to look up at Severus's window. She grew nervous, not seeing him, and now afraid that there will be more trouble if one of his parents saw her standing outside. Not sure of what to do, she headed home trying to think rationally of a solution.
Everything was so pleasant at the Potters. They even allowed sunlight into their home. What a difference that made. Sirius could picture a place just like this for himself when he got older and was looking to settle down, maybe when he started pushing a hundred.
Sirius was full of excellent ideas for him and James for next summer. James's idea about renting a vacation cottage was jolly good. They'd be seventeen, and Remus and Peter would be seventeen, and well, there were lots of babes seventeen and older that didn't need their parents' permission to Party!
It turned out that James's infatuation with Evans was worse than Sirius originally thought, but hopefully that would all be sorted out before Snivelly got his greasy nose back to Hogwarts. Crap, Sirius was getting itchy just thinking about it. He hoped he hadn't caught fleas while running around in his animagus form.
Oh, double crap, he had that Dark Arts book in his packed things. This book was pretty bad overall. Dragonpox was the tamest thing in it by a long shot. Burn it? Knowing the rest of the Black family, they wouldn't be giving anyone pox, they'd be … eeeewwweee, turning somebody inside out … double ick, stretching their eyeballs out of their sockets to look where the sun don't shine … this settles it, Sirius would never defile another bloke's magic wand like this. This book is pure evil! Burn it!
Mrs. Evans was not happy with Lily heading over to Spinner's End alone. The news that Severus was fine when she saw him calmed her down, but did nothing for Lily since she didn't know how he was now.
At dinner, Lily was still self-absorbed and missed that her father would not be going to London with them due to a work commitment. Her mother mentioning Severus caught her attention, and before she knew what was going on, Petunia was on a tirade speaking too loudly for the dinner table, declaring, "That freak is not a member of this family. He will not ruin my enjoyment of having to go to London to see Lily off. He can hitchhike there for all I care."
Lily was mad. Petunia didn't have to go anywhere. She just liked someone paying her way to London, and then if she pouted enough, her parents took her shopping at some very nice shops there. She came home with bags of clothes and other stuff she didn't need at least twice a year, if she didn't go down for Christmas and Easter too.
"We are already paying for the room, Petunia. Can just order up a rollaway, and then Lily won't have to worry about her friend getting his school things and making the train all in one morning. You can do as you like the afternoon before while we are at their shops, then after they catch the train, it'll just be us two girls."
Petunia's eyes grew speculative, 'two girls' was code for shopping spree at very nice places. However, she had to draw the line somewhere with what she was willing to put up with. "I just would not be comfortable with that nasty boy sleeping in the same room as me," she protested with a degree of shyness, changing her tactics.
Her father said, "Your mother will be in the same room, Petunia."
"He is here an awful lot, dear," their mother said. "I don't see how sleeping or being awake makes much difference."
Petunia could not believe how naïve her mother sounded. She just may have to just stand up for what she felt was right and not go. They couldn't choose some freak from Spinner's End over their lovely and dutiful daughter. Then they would uninvite him, and after Lily got on that freak train of hers, her mum could make it up to her.
Severus was sitting on the Evans' back porch stairs the next morning. Once Mrs. Evans heard Lily moving around her bedroom, she offered Severus tea and invited him into the kitchen. His hair was curtaining his face, and she longed to take a pair of scissors to it. He didn't bother pushing it back while he slowly ate porridge either.
Lily was immensely relieved to see her friend back at his seat in the kitchen. Since The Daily Prophet was once again just filled with drivel, she used her letter from Helen to try to engage him in conversation. "I think my roommates are making a bit more out of this train trip then they normally do. I guess waiting over a month got them all worked up."
"That's fine. I'm sure Wilkes and Rosier have used all theirs to consider the strategy of every possibility."
"So they aren't involved in a furious onslaught of letters worried about what to wear?"
"With me?" he muttered sarcastically more to the porridge than Lily.
"Would it be inappropriate for either green or red to be worn?"
He shrugged, "Doesn't matter."
Seeing little choice but to focus on her food so she could question Severus without her mother around, Lily dug in.
Mrs. Evans broached the subject about London. "Severus, Lily and I were going to travel to London a day early to pick up the last of her school supplies before she boarded the train. Would you like to join us? We'd be staying overnight in a hotel, and already have it booked."
Not displaying any enthusiasm, or at least what could be discerned while he continued to stare downwards with his hair covering his face, "Sounds like you'll have a lonely time on the way back, after we're gone, Mrs. Evans."
"Petunia may change her mind."
"If she's not going because I may be there, then I really should decline."
Lily frowned. Petunia could be such a pain in the bum. Severus was right, it would be unfair for her mother to give up her company back home for his sake. However, he was a sneaky Slytherin, why would he care, unless he was trying to avoid being with them in Diagon Alley. That was their sole magical destination, other than King's Cross.
In more of a hurry now to interrogate Severus, Lily tried to stuff a half-slice of toast into her mouth whole. She received a huff and stern glare from her mother for eating … like a Gryffindor.
As soon as she finished, Lily asked her friend to join her upstairs. Rather than immediately doing as she asked, Severus replied, "Must I? I should go home and work more on my Arithmancy."
"What?"
"I don't want to be copying it out clean on the train."
"Just for a bit, Sev," she said as she went over to the counter to join him and add, "please."
He tilted his head to meet Lily's eyes, before getting up to follow her.
After closing the door over, Lily turned to find Severus with his arms over his chest, and still covering his face with his hair.
She adopted a similar pose, and he muttered, "What?"
"Why did you even bother coming today, if you're going to be like this?"
"You made it sound like your mother wanted to see me."
Lily gave an exasperated sigh, and said, "What about me?"
"I think you should make yourself clearer, Lily."
"Clearer?"
"Yes."
Lily thought about that a moment. Obviously there was miscommunication. "Right. You need to answer some of my questions then?"
He shrugged, then responded with, "Real questions or about cleverly shaped notes, shaving charms and when I last brushed my teeth?"
"Ow," commented Lily.
"At school, you mostly ignore me outside Potions or if we can get a table together in the library, if your girlfriends aren't with you. In the summer, we are with each other almost every day, except when your family goes on vacation, or you get mad at me and tell me to go away. Are you also angry at me when we're at school?"
"Well, you're in Slytherin."
"And what does that mean to you? I don't think it bad that you are in Gryffindor, just that you might react before thinking. You are still a good person, and are brave enough to admit when you make a mistake."
Lily looked at Severus. He thought about all this stuff? "Well, Slytherins might cheat to win."
"Do you feel I cheat you? For example, have I ever tried to take credit for anything we do as a team in Potions? Or do I copy off your tests?"
"No. Prof. Slughorn actually does the opposite and gives me credit for something you did. But it's not like I encourage his misconception. He just insists it must be me."
"I know. It's because you are good-looking, well-mannered, and he expects great things from you. He's biased."
Rather than talking about Slughorn when Severus was so clearly prejudiced against him, Lily answered, "So to answer your question … there's nothing wrong with you being in Slytherin, Sev. I hope this train trip turns out well, and I won't have to be the only brave member of Gryffindor house willing to talk civilly to a Slytherin."
"Why have you wanted to do different things with me this summer?"
A lot of silly answers came to Lily's mind, and a couple cruel ones. What was the true one? "I have feelings for you, Sev. You are my best friend, and have been for years. I am certain of that kind of love. I do not know the extent of how else I love you yet."
"For me, Lily, it's always been you. No one but you."
"We're sixteen. Things are likely to change."
"Why do they need to?"
"So much is beyond our control."
"Are you willing to let unknown factors beyond our control rule your life?"
Lily did not like getting into verbal arguments about vague concepts with Severus. She was smart and clever, but it always seemed like he gave everything thorough thought way in advance of debating it. "I don't want to feel rushed into a decision, Sev."
"I don't understand if you are talking about what I originally asked. You kissed me, but you were rushed into that?"
"No. I know I kissed you. I also really embraced you, and yesterday out back was a misunderstanding. I missed you so much that I just followed you."
He smirked, then asked, "Why did you watch then?"
"Shock? I'm sure you could have showed me a lot more than I saw. Thank you, for being considerate."
Severus had shifted his stance while talking to her and in addition to his smirk, his hair had slid away from his face so she could see his eyes.
"So back to my question. You think of me as your best friend, who you want to hold hands with, kiss, embrace and rub your feet against?"
"Now you understand," Lily responded, giving him a big smile and stepping forward to close the distance between them.
His hands came up to ward her off, and he took a step back. "No, I can't right now."
"Why not?" Lily asked, still closing in.
He twitched and said, "I'll be better next week."
"Are you … ?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"How am I supposed to be 'clear', if you won't tell me things?"
Severus gave a deep sigh. "There's nothing you can do about it right now. At the end of vacation, I'll take care of it."
Now that Lily was right in front of him, she saw a small bruise below his temple, almost covered by his hair. Slowly she put her finger up, and he mentioned, "Poking makes it hurt."
Her finger stopped, but she didn't put it down. "Where else?"
"Could you just leave it alone?" he asked, and then leaned closer and kissed her finger lightly.
"It's wrong," Lily explained.
"Many things are wrong. I can endure this, Lily. Besides, I don't want you playing nurse and mollycoddling me," he said while appearing that such a thing would cause him more pain than any injury he had.
"If you come with us to London, you can heal it sooner?"
"I wouldn't want to come between you and Petunia. If you have a chance of reconciling, wouldn't it be worth it?"
"We won't reconcile over shopping. I'm not interested in dressing that nice."
"Ah, I see. So you are starting to share my keen fashion sense then?"
Lily looked at Sev's jumper, which looked pretty much like the one she borrowed when it rained, and simply replied, "No."
"If Petunia doesn't change her mind, then I'll go along with you and your mother. Just leave me out of it till the last minute. I can get there on my own."
"Do you have train fare?"
"Yes, Lily."
"Do you really have Arithmancy to work on?"
"Yes. Why would I lie about Arithmancy? It's not like it's Divination and be just made up with no supporting information," he chuckled.
"Well, we'll see soon enough how close my prediction is. Feeling warm yet?" Lily asked while putting her hand against his forehead.
"No. Maybe the Marauders will make me sick up to help you out."
"They help no one out but themselves."
"All right for me to go now?"
"I suppose. Could you please come back tomorrow?"
"I intend to."
"Me's sorry, Master Orion. That book you's wants is nowhere's in the house," Kreacher said while repeatedly bowing so deeply that his forehead kept hitting the floor, while wringing his miserable useless fingers because he had failed the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
Annoyed, Orion Black aimed a kick at the worthless creature, and snarled, "You disgust me."
Kreacher popped out of sight with the intent of finding proper punishments to inflict on his no-account self in the kitchen.
Not letting his plan to humiliate Abraxas Malfoy and let him suffer long before an ignoble death, Orion stroked his chin thoughtfully as he scanned the spines of the foul books within the Black family library. Infecting the Malfoys with dragonpox would have been perfect, with that brainless brat Lucius worried about ruining his looks, it would have been easy for the Dark Lord to seduce the easily flattered boy into joining.
Come to think of it, Lucius was not even worthy of licking the blood of filthy muggles of his lord's boots. Walburga's brother, Cygnus, had a houseful of marriageable girls. If one of them married the Malfoy whelp, and he met with an accident after breeding with one of them, the Malfoy holdings and wealth would be a very pleasing acquisition. Once Orion's father, Arcturus, passed, he would be the head of house and in control of it all.
Pulling out a promising title, Orion mused how fortunate he was to have at least one son whom he could rely on to carry on the proud name and traditions of Black, and who would not shame them when he joined the Dark Lord.
Lily had to face it. She had no inner Slytherin to channel, and it felt completely unnatural attempting to manipulate people. What she wanted couldn't be accomplished – she would have liked both her parents, Petunia and Severus with her. Losing her father's company to work, she concentrated on Petunia because she was the one making all the demands.
Playing dumb seemed to get Lily's foot in the door with Petunia. After all, it was Petunia that had been hanging around Lily to gloat when Severus stopped coming over for a bit, so Lily felt it fair she now return the favor, without the gloating part of course.
She dove headfirst into all Tunie's magazines with the latest fashions, life styles and everything that was 'in'. Petunia also loved celebrity gossip, but Lily was spared that. Her sister reluctantly warmed up to Lily's interest in the real world finally. Lily ferreted out Petunia's plans for this trip to London – a smart new hair style, and good quality (in Petunia speak, that's expensive named labels) peasant style clothing and some boots to go with those clothes. Lily resisted rolling her eyes at the indicated glossy pages of this 'peasant style' clothing. What had happened to bell bottoms? Petunia also took the time to bombast American-influenced clothing as unsuitable due to the Yanks all living in California and wasting all their days surfing.
After all this immersion into Petunia's world, it only took one comment to get her sister thinking. Lily sighed and suggested in the most convincing attitude of hopelessness, "It seems like such a shame, that you will have to wait till at least December to get down to London to get quality, Tunie." Lily was playing on Petunia's fears that she'd be stuck having to buy clothing locally, perhaps from a discount store once these must-have fashions became commonplace.
"December?" snapped Petunia.
"Well, if Severus is tagging along with me, Tunie, I wouldn't want you to have to put up with that kind of hardship. It's much better to wait, and pop down to London with mum before Christmas when I come home from school."
"It's not like I'm taking that into shops with me. Mum and I would be going to proper places, not that claustrophobic alleyway filled with squawking animals and freaks."
Lily controlled herself, it wouldn't help matters to point out there was only one pet store, and not a very big one at that. "I just feel that you might be right, Tunie. You know how he shadows after me, so there's no way he's going to turn down mum's invitation," Lily explained, knowing Petunia had not heard Sev declined their mother's invitation because Mrs. Evans was the eternal optimist thinking that everything would sort itself out. "What if he stays up staring at me sleep all night?"
Petunia nodded. That sounded exactly what that nasty boy would do. How she wished their father was going. The thought of that freak in the same room as her mother and sister, even if her baby sister was a freak too, was blood-curdling. Petunia knew things, and she had seen The Exorcist and that new movie The Omen. In fact, Petunia was the only one in the family strong enough to see that filth from Spinner's End for what he really was. She'd simply have to go with them, and if they somehow survived, there was shopping afterwards.
At last, Peter could unwind and kick back at the Potters with his best friends, James Potter and Sirius Black. They'd be meeting Remus Lupin at King's Cross, and then Hogwarts would be theirs.
Sixth year was going to be their best year yet. No worries about OWLs and the NEWTs. They could worry about the important stuff – girls, quidditch, parties, and girls.
James's plan for renting a summer cottage next year was brilliant! Peter was already thinking about the girls he'd invite – Mary and Helen from their year, that Hufflepuff Seeker, there was that cute Ravenclaw chaser, that girl from Transfiguration that he had caught looking at him …
Whose nose was longer than a telephone wire now? Severus thought, as he ignored Petunia's glare at him on the train. He hadn't believed Lily when Petunia said it was all right for him to come too, but her older sister had been even more hostile today than usual. Had her parents set a spending limit?
Lily was keeping a modest distance between them, but still talked to him about unimportant things. She already knew that he had healed up any injuries he still had before he left Spinner's End with his shrunken possessions and the tarnished key to his mother's old mostly-empty Gringott's vault. The pittance that had been in it originally had to last him through seven years of school. If mother hadn't kept all her old schoolbooks, he would have had to resort to stealing them starting about third year. There had to be some way, legally, of making some money without demeaning himself. At sixteen, he didn't expect a decent wage, but with Lily insisting on Hogsmeade dates, any amount would be welcome.
Since he wasn't being good company, with Petunia's look starting to give him a headache, Lily changed to talking to her sister and mother about their expected destinations tomorrow, once they were done at King's Cross.
As his head hurt more as they neared London, Severus considered that maybe he stayed up too late doing a few last Arithmancy equations to add to his project. He closed his eyes to give them some rest, and ended up taking an unintended short nap. They woke him when the train stopped, but Petunia was giving him some odd looks. He felt better, that was the important thing.
The hotel was not far from the station by taxi. He didn't understand the transaction that Mrs. Evans was making at the front desk. Seemed overcomplicated, even for muggles. The obtaining of a hotel room ritual had completed at the front desk, and now some uniformed muggle was going to 'show' them the room. With big room numbers engraved onto the keys, Severus really thought guidance unnecessary because once they got out of the creaking elevator, the rooms were in numerical order, with the first number matching the floor number.
It seemed part of the 'showing' was for the guests to compliment the guide on the room, open the curtains and then make favorable remarks about the view from the window. Having no other hotel rooms to compare this too, Severus just stood aside and let the others handle it. The room had two big beds, another small bed with wheels (Mrs. Evans called it a rollaway?), a large wooden desk with telephone with a couple books and magazines on it, a few chairs, a large triple dresser, and then the guide opened the wooden cabinet to show a big telly. He turned as the ladies were saying something about the bathroom, and suddenly it sounded like someone had cast muffliato, when their conversation became just low buzzing in his ears. His normal hearing was restored once he moved into their grouping as they were seeing the guide out of the room.
Severus must have missed the planning part of the trip, other than Petunia was going shopping once Lily and him weren't around to embarrass her in some way. The three of them sat down, and seemed to be getting comfortable. Unpacking some articles for the bath, putting some clothes in drawers, Petunia flipped through one of the magazines, Lily turned on the telly looking at all the channels, and Mrs. Evans found items to straighten, even if this wasn't her home and was perfectly tidy when they walked in.
Petunia found something in her magazine and pointed it out to the other two. A place she wanted to eat lunch. She looked at Severus, and added, "Do you need to look like a destitute hippie?"
"I was going more for the overgrown, grubby, street urchin look. What would you suggest?"
Petunia shook her head, but Lily took out her wand and gave his jumper a makeover. It was now dark green, fit, and had no holes.
Severus just shrugged, but Petunia said, "Still looks like a dustman."
Mrs. Evans ignored her eldest daughter, and said, "Right. Let's be off."
On the way down in the elevator, Severus felt a bit dizzy like he unwillingly passed through a repelling charm of some sort. Who would put one in an elevator shaft? If the car was in motion, the passengers couldn't turn back around.
The place Petunia had found in the magazine was within walking distance, and Severus detected no other spells on the way over there. After being seated, he felt the other three glancing at him as he studied the menu. Did they think he didn't know what to do? That must be the case he thought as they started comparing the merits of the different offerings verbally amongst themselves. Most of what they talked about was pure cack that could be the filthiest, disease-ridden parts of an animal, and no guarantees that it's from the animal listed on the menu anyway. Might as well order a deep fried rat on a stick, but then that would remove the air of mystery about the meal, wouldn't it?
The server looked to Severus first, which was not proper. He ordered Glamorgan sausage and water. His earlier headache gave a little pulse as he listened to the girls ordering their meals. In an effort to stop Petunia's glare at him, he slid some money to Mrs. Evans, next to him, to cover his order.
Rather than coming with them to the Leaky Cauldron to enter Diagon Alley, Petunia was going to window shop through some district known for some sort of clothing, Severus really didn't care so just stopped listening. While he was trying to assess if he should take his last headache draft in his shrunken school trunk, he saw a large group of colorful people outside the restaurant window, with hairstyles clearly chosen to attract attention. Now that looked painful – safety pins, in their eyebrows, noses, ears and one girl with it fastened through the side of her mouth? Severus's head wasn't hurting that much.
Mrs. Evans gave Petunia some words of advice, before Lily, Severus and her headed over to the Leaky Cauldron to enter Diagon Alley. Both the Evans and Severus needed to go to Gringott's. Since Severus would take longer to get money from a vault, then they would to exchange muggle money, Lily suggested her and her mum go buy owl supplies and meet at Madam Malkin's. Sev still needed to replace uniform items, and Lily was thinking about some casual robes, but wanted to look through the selection. All that fashion talk with Petunia had gotten her thinking.
Severus had gone with a goblin to the vault before via magic cart, but today they must have taken a different way. It hadn't been this twisty with sudden drops that left his stomach behind. With the headache, he could hardly calculate half the amount left in the vault, and got confused about the price of school robes. Since the goblin did not consider Severus Snape to be a good Gringott's customer, he was quite testy and insisted repeatedly he hurry up. Severus considered just turning around and barfing all over him to put him in his place, but who knew when the next magic cart would stop down here to pick him up.
Aggravated that he couldn't think, Severus just swept the lot into his purse. He turned, resisted kicking the goblin or grabbing its ears, and got back in the cart. Towards the end of the ride, Severus was sorely tempted to grab what little hair was on the top of the goblin's head and pull it out. He purposely chose to return them to the surface by some crazy corkscrew section of track. If Lily wasn't waiting for him, he'd happily start the next Goblin Rebellion right now. None of his money was in a vault anymore so he'd have nothing to lose.
He carefully made his way to the door out of Gringott's and stepped out into Diagon Alley. It was noisy, stank, and the sun shined too brightly for a proper British day. His cautious movements allowed Lily to arrive at Madam Malkin's before him. Severus just sat down in a chair to wait because Lily asked questions about robes. Mrs. Evans inspected some items on a rack, and occasionally held one up for Lily.
"What do you think, Sev?" Lily asked from right in front of him. He didn't even see come over.
"Huh?"
"Have you heard anything?"
"No."
She leaned closer, and asked, "Did something happen to you? You look flushed."
"The cart ride in Gringott's. I think I got a goblin that had some grudge against wizards."
"You don't feel hot," Lily said as she put her hand on his forehead. He didn't even feel well enough to mock that gesture.
"Stop that. If you don't see robes here you like, there's another place in Diagon Alley … Twill something and Tatting's. Some of the Slytherin girls swear it's the best."
"You expect me to take that as a recommendation?"
"No."
"Do you think I need dress robes?"
"For what?"
"For anything."
"If something comes up during the school year, there's that other shop in Hogsmeade. However, if they have robes here that are the same color as your eyes, you should get those."
"Green?"
"It's not Slytherin green."
"But I have red hair."
"You can always try them on first," he answered, getting tired of this whole conversation. If Lily didn't want his opinion, then why did she ask it?
"I suppose. Madam Malkin … Severus needs some school robes. How about I keep browsing while you help him?"
Now that his brain was further addled by mindless talk about robes that Lily didn't need, he pulled out his list to recall what he needed to procure here in order to reach the minimum requirements for Hogwarts uniforms. He was magically measured, his order filled, paid for and back in the chair, while Lily continued to fuss around.
Although it was a terrible position to keep an eye out for potential attacks, Severus found it very soothing to just lean forward with his elbows on his knees and just let his head hang forward with his eyes closed.
"Sev?" Lily asked softly when she approached him.
"Hmm?" was the reply, with no movement.
Feeling a little guilty about taking this opportunity when he was obviously feeling unwell, Lily did it anyway and flipped his hair away from the back of his neck. "Where else do you need to go?" she asked while just looking at the raised white line that she had felt there when she had been stroking his bare neck seemingly so long ago.
"More ink, quills, and some potions ingredients," he replied slowly raising his head, and hoping that they would really be leaving here and not going to the other robe shop. He thought he felt a bit better, but perhaps should lay down as soon as he could.
Not seeing any improvement in his appearance, Lily suggested, "How about we do potions ingredients first. We can always get quills and ink by owl or in Hogsmeade."
"Fine," he agreed weakly as he stood.
Lily had already told her mother that Severus was unwell, while he was sitting limp in the chair ignoring everything around him. Looking at Severus, Mrs. Evans asked, "Do you think some ice cream would help?"
He was barely able to glare in response. Ice cream? Must be a new cure all from the hand on the forehead school of medicine. He followed them along the street fuming a bit at what nonsense her children must have claimed for illnesses if they told her ice cream cured them. Spoiled rotten brats.
Reaching Slug and Jiggers, Lily indicated he should go first, so he just folded his list over and handed it across the counter with the ingredient list facing upwards. Something slimy in the barrel next to the till was rather foul, so he rested against the counter with his hand clamped over his nose and breathed through his mouth. The shopkeep was glacially slow and seemed lost among his own inventory. It was intolerable.
Something nudged his shoulder, and Severus opened his eyes. Lily said, "I have both our ingredients here," as she held up a bag, and nudged him again to urge him off the counter. "We should go back to the hotel so you can lay down."
Surprised at nodding off in the smelly store, Severus asked, "Do you have everything that you needed already?"
"Yes. I can get the rest by owl."
"I'm well enough if you need to go someplace else."
"Don't worry about it, Sev."
Getting back to the hotel seemed rather hazy to him, and this must be the first elevator they took up because there was no repelling charm this time. Once he was seated in the room, Mrs. Evans put both her hands on his face and was talking to him about taking a bath before laying down. Why? He just wanted to get some rest, then he'd feel fine. When she removed her hands, he was shaking his head but could hear the water running in the bath. Then Lily was saying something about shampoo. No. Lily didn't talk about his hair like that, she knew that they had no water in his house. Only essentials got washed every day. Maybe he was remembering something that nasty goblin said earlier about his hair.
Why was he thinking about the sadistic goblin when Lily was still talking to him? He'd have plenty of time later to revenge himself and start and end the next Goblin Rebellion and put it on his chocolate frog card. He certainly deserved a card more than Archibald Alderton. Paying attention to Lily now was more important than planning the blurb on the back of his chocolate frog card. He could work on that later. She had already gotten his trunk from him, and had enlarged it. Maybe putting away his new uniforms and potions ingredients? What was she looking for? Pajamas … ah yes, the real reason he couldn't be in Slytherin. That was Slughorn and the fellows' favorite nighttime uniform, flimsy silk or satin two-piece affairs, with embroidered, velvet dressing gowns, and soft house slippers that did little to protect feet from sharp or heavy, dropped objects. Lily wasn't going to find that sort of impracticality taking up room in his trunk.
Lily pulled Severus to his feet after she found something for him to wear to sleep, and led him into the bathroom. He must have been paying some attention to her and her mother because he was already pulling his jumper off before she left the room, and closed the door. He must have been kidding around when he mumbled something about a goblin and a chocolate frog card.
Mrs. Evans said, "If Severus isn't better tomorrow morning, maybe we should take him to hospital."
"He said it was from the bank. I've heard they got some sort of transport system underneath that's a cross between mine cars and a roller coaster. He should be well enough to put on the train for school because our nurse there can fix anything up." Lily knew there was a wizard hospital somewhere called St. Mungo's. She could go back to Diagon Alley and ask questions, but if it wasn't close to here, how would they get there? Was there an equivalent of a wizard ambulance? Lily's owl was home because of this overnight trip and stay in a muggle hotel, and the plan was that her mum would send her with a letter to Lily later this week.
Her mother tilted her head to listen, and both of them heard some water moving in the bathtub. Mrs. Evans then got busy with some straightening, even though there was nothing out of place since the last time she had tidied the room.
Lily put away Sev's new uniforms, and his portion of the bag of ingredients into his potions kit. While waiting, she considered if she should take anything out for him. Why did he pack his old red toothbrush with the tooth powder? Lily looked around his trunk, but the blue toothbrush and tube of toothpaste weren't in it. She did pull out his hair brush, which Lily had seen before, but uh … could use replacing.
The bathroom door opened. Severus seemed more lively than he did when he went in for a bath. He went right to his trunk, pulled out a folded cloth bag, and shoved his dirty laundry into it. Lily saw that he had removed her transfiguration from earlier and had his jumper back on over the long underwear bottoms and undershirt she had chosen for him to wear to bed. He was barefoot at least, instead of that nonsense he was talking about wearing shoes to bed. The long underwear only reached to mid-calf and was rather tight, as Lily's eyes traveled upwards, she suspected why Sev had put his overlarge jumper back on.
"I took out your toothbrush," Lily said.
Severus looked longingly at the rollaway bed. Lily added, "I can brush your hair while you brush your teeth so you can go to bed quicker."
He gave her a pained expression, but went back into the bathroom. Lily gave him his brush and powder, and he got to it. She started working on his hair, but decided it would be better if he sat on the commode and then it was much easier. It also gave her another chance to look at his nape, but the neck of this undershirt was just ragged, not stretched out of shape, so she didn't see anything more than she saw earlier.
Lily was pleased that he hadn't left the bathroom a mess. Tub drained, nothing left in it, floor dried and towel hung. One thing was certain, Severus could never fit in with the Gryffindors. Even the girls … well, let's just say it was obvious they were not raised in the Evans household, except Lily.
Finished, Lily said, "I'll put your stuff away, Sev. Maybe you could just go lay down."
He just grunted. If it was up to him, he would have laid down as soon as they got back here.
Severus started snoring before Lily finished in his trunk. She studied him, and considered her father did snore louder, but that probably wouldn't matter to Petunia.
She looked over at her mum, and she was watching Severus sleep. Creeping quietly over to her mother, she whispered, "Did he just go to sleep?"
"Well, he twisted around a bit, then just passed right out. That's a good sign."
Was it? thought Lily. Trying to think back to her illnesses, she could only think of lying in bed awake and being bored when she was really sick. The other times were just kind of pretend sick, and she'd hop out of bed and do things once her mum left the room.
Could getting motion sick count for her Divination assignment? It was a bit of a stretch, since it was August 31st, and Lily had forecast a major illness.
Since it was a bit odd to Lily that her mum was watching Sev sleep, she clicked on the telly and kept the sound low. Lily looked over and it appeared that it didn't bother him in the slightest.
"Did you want this station, or is there something else on?"
"Whatever you want, dear."
"Were we going to wait for Petunia for dinner?"
"Yes, we should."
Lily did notice her mum looking at Severus even more, and then found her hovering over him when she came out of the bathroom. Did she expect him to do something unusually magical while he slept? If that was the case, wouldn't Lily do it too when she slept?
Joining her mum, she whispered, "Did he do something?"
"No, dear."
Lily wanted to shoo her mother away. What if he woke up and found the two of them staring down at him? Hex first, ask questions later. "He's jumpy, even when he's asleep."
"Of course."
Of course? What did her mother mean by that? Lily thought to herself as she flopped onto the bed in front of the tv. Probably just trying to act like she knows everything with the 'of course' and 'good sign'.
Finally, Petunia returned, using her own key to let herself in. Both Lily and her mother, put their fingers to their lips to silently signal her that quiet was requested. Petunia made a face at them, but did not burst out into chatter while she carried a couple bags into the room proper. She did see Severus asleep, and gave them a questioning look then asked quietly, "What happened to him?"
"Goblin made him sick," Lily explained.
Petunia looked at her sister and didn't need to say that was no explanation at all.
"If you're hungry, dear, we three could still go out to dinner."
Petunia looked uncertain, but then figured it's not like they were leaving the freak alone in their house. She wasn't going to sit in a London hotel room, feasting on takeaway and watching telly all night.
Lily turned off the television set, and then wrote out a note in the unlikely event Severus woke up.
Nothing appeared different when they returned from dinner. The room was dark, but once the curtains were drawn and a couple lamps turned on, Petunia took the time to quietly show her sister and mother her new acquisitions. She had already told them of her adventures over dinner.
Lily then turned the telly back on. This was really boring with Severus not available for conversation.
She tried to find something decent, but without knowing these programs, any long-running show had characters who she didn't know and couldn't understand their motivation. The sound of laughter broadcast with any show was annoying because Lily felt it should be left up to her whether something was funny or not. She ended up on a sort of variety show, but given the talent of the participants, it had to be some sort of joke, even though the people on the show providing commentary sounded very supportive. If Lily were there, she'd tell the truth – put your clothes back on, cats were never meant to do that, dinner plates are not for spinning atop sticks, a person your size should exercise but not on telly with a stack of hula hoops, why would you want to bend over so far that you could see your own backside?
Equally nettlesome was her mother and Petunia watching Severus more than the telly. If they liked anything Lily had scanned through earlier, they could have said something. Lily divided her time between watching her mother watching Severus, Petunia watching Severus, watching Severus herself to make sure he really wasn't doing something interesting, and the current divvy on the telly.
Lily had enough of watching all of this when Sev kicked the blanket off his foot while continuing to snore. She had already studied his feet, and there was nothing attractive about them. So why were her family looking at it? Displeased, she decided to get ready for bed, and grabbed her stuff, heading into the bathroom.
Petunia got her stuff together when Lily came out, and clarified, "I am sleeping in that bed," while pointing at the one further from Severus. Her sister wasn't surprised, and just went about stowing her stuff neatly, and reviewing what she'd wear tomorrow.
Her mother was not even pretending to watch whatever this was on the screen now, so Lily turned off the tv. Why bother, when it was clear that the most exciting thing in here was Sev, now that he was no longer in a motionless coma? He hadn't woken after close to six hours, but would occasionally jerk, tug or kick at the covers, after a discontented look seeped onto his face, and then return to snoring. It would be one thing if Lily was watching him because she was still working on unraveling her best friend, but it was rather off putting that her mum and Petunia were also observing him.
Neither of them better go poking at him, Lily needed him rested and somewhat pleasant and mannerly on the train tomorrow for Helen and Mary. Not that Sev's roommates didn't know him, but Helen and Mary did not socialize with him, so his habitual rudeness and abrupt mannerisms might come to the forefront. Now that her roommates were willing to give her best friend who she kissed, an opportunity, in order to meet other gentlemen, this was important to Lily. Getting nervous, she went back to her things to look over what she thought was best to wear tomorrow.
While wallowing in indecision, Petunia came out of the bathroom and her mother went in. Petunia was tidying her things away, when she let out an awfully loud huff, muttered something that Lily thought might be 'pig' and 'rolled up socks' before shooting straight over to Severus. Lily was confused, she knew Severus didn't leave his dirty socks thrown about over there. Knowing Petunia, she waited impatiently for her to either hold up some disgusting evidence in a disdainful, yet triumphant, manner, or slink back to her corner.
Rather than going for whatever she saw on the floor, Petunia bent over Severus who was sprawled on his back again and with the blankets just covering his knees. Her sister's body was in the way, but it looked like she gave Sev a sharp prod in the stomach with her jabbing finger.
"Hey," Lily objected, but Petunia ignored her and bent over her friend, to closely looking at whatever she was touching with her hand.
Lily was on her way over to tell her sister to cut it out, when Petunia suddenly stood up and straightened Severus's covers over him. When Lily got next to her, Petunia was tucking Sev in tight, like her mother had taught them to do when they played with baby dolls as girls.
"What are you doing?" she asked, confirming that her sister still hadn't woken Severus up with her strange behavior.
"Nothing," Petunia muttered.
Lily saw her sister's face was very red. "What were you doing?"
Rather than staying on the defensive, Petunia hissed at Lily, "As if you didn't know."
"Uh ..."
"Why didn't you say something, rather than letting me touch … freak …" Petunia's words became incoherent at the end, so Lily wasn't sure if she was being called freak, or Severus.
"Say something about what? You went over there. He didn't do anything 'cause he's sleeping," Lily explained in a lowered voice as she followed Petunia.
Her sister unexpectedly turned, she also kept her voice low, but it was dripping with venom as Petunia accusingly pointed her finger at Lily and angrily expounded, "Bad enough with you two being freaks, but to go panting and drooling after that Spinner's End filth. My perfect sister turns out to be a shameless slut."
"What?" demanded Lily. What could be worse than being a freak, in her sister's book? Well, obviously being a slut, but what did that have to do with Severus?
Petunia adopted a haughty look as she stretched her neck to turn her nose in the air while simultaneously looking down it at Lily, smugly she replied, "Don't act like I wouldn't know what kind of wickedness turns good girls bad. He's got it by the lorry-load. You exult in how nasty and foul he is. You love sneaking off to that filthy shack and rolling around with him in squalor while he does depraved things to your body, and you begging for it the whole time, and pleading for him to take you to new depths of vileness."
Lily was struck speechless. Petunia's fabrication of this scenario between her and her best friend was so wrong. She hadn't told her about the kissing, and frankly it was none of Petunia's business. Lily was able to barely reply with, "We don't ..."
"Of course you deny it," she said in an almost agreeable tone. "Till you run home crying when you're up the duff with his awful bastard. Then our parents will know what kind of soiled piece of rubbish you really are," Petunia elaborated with a smile at the thought of being proven right after so long.
Trying to be reasonable, which was very hard, Lily took a deep breath, and then calmly said, "If you can share what led you to this conclusion, then perhaps we could come up with the truth."
Her sister laughed. "Considering your deception thus far, I'm sure you'd be able to maintain it, you bint."
Lily clenched her fists. This had gone far enough, and although Petunia was older and still a bit taller, she knew she could give her sister a good enough wallop to confine her to the house, rather than having to answer any awkward questions. As Lily pulled her right elbow back, the bathroom door opened.
Great, thought Lily about her mother's timing. Can't bother coming out when she's being called a slut and bint, but can bustle out when little Tunie was about to get what she deserved.
Mrs. Evans did not know what those girls were up to now, as she carefully put away her items before helping out Severus. "Lily, what were you thinking tucking in Severus tighter than a pig in a blanket?"
"Me?"
Between hearing his name mentioned, feeling the blanket's edge stretched tautly over his adam's apple, and his arms pinned and unable to stop the strangling sensation, Severus woke. Intolerant of the tightness of the covers, he was free quickly and ended the blanket's garroting hold. Mrs. Evans was already hovering and fixing the blankets, "I don't know what Lily was thinking. How are you feeling?"
"Better," he replied, and put his arms on top and held everything down as Mrs. Evans got the hint that he did not need any assistance. He didn't feel like questioning what she meant by Lily's thoughts. He certainly wasn't privy to them.
"Hungry?"
"No, thank you. I'd rather just go back to sleep." He could see all three of them in their nightclothes.
"Water?"
"No, thank you," he replied again. If he wasn't so focused on getting back to sleep after whatever they were doing woke him, he might wonder why the three of them were just hanging about, pretending that they were waiting for him to wake. Lily and Petunia looked angry, and that was strange. Usually one would be angry, and the other happy. Well, that was a bit of a lie, more like Petunia angry at Lily's happiness, and Lily happy when Petunia was happy. Both angry – meant he did something? Petunia wouldn't want him for anything, and if Lily wanted him, it wasn't like she wasn't bold enough to wake him up and pester him with nonsense about what the gaggle of girls would be wearing tomorrow.
At first he tried just lying on his back, but the pain in his head throbbed even with his eyes closed again. Severus turned to face the wall, and rested two fingers on the bridge of his nose, putting a little pressure on the side to distract him from the continuous ache behind his eyes.
The Evans ladies gave each other looks and silently finished whatever they needed to, before going to bed and turning out the lights. Mrs. Evans purposely took the place nearest Severus, in case he got worse during the night.
Lily wasn't done with Petunia, and lay down next to her mother glaring at the back of her sister's head. She had a lot of nerve with those fevered imaginings. To think, earlier this summer, Lily thought she had made headway with her sister, and then for no reason whatsoever she explodes with vile lies. She knew that Petunia was upset that she still was friends with Severus and felt he was the 'wrong sort', but really! If she was sneaking off with Severus for a snog, like girls did with other lads at school, it wouldn't be anything like she described. The way Lily's toes curled and her feet tingled when they put their lips together in a modest kiss was not the beginning of something evil and ugly.