Chapter 5: Regina's Not So Happily Ever After
Regina Mills frowned as she sat at her office taking a sip of some hard cider she had stashed in of the secret compartments of her desk. She was still upset about the other day and Henry's birth mother showing up.
Of course, the little ingrate had to run away when he saw the adoption papers. Because apparently, she wasn't a good enough mother.
They got into a bit of a fight about it, after she had Emma sent back to jail and neither of them were talking.
Regina didn't get it. She tried. She really did. While she knew she might not be the most nurturing mother, Henry should still show some loyalty to her or something. However, it didn't seem to matter to the boy that it was her who had changed those diapers all those years ago.
It was all: you're not my real mom.
She had heard that incessantly since he came home and she had enough. She guessed she should just be glad that she had Graham haul that woman's ass to jail.
Really, like she'd believe that the woman was exonerated.
She had never heard of such a thing.
Then again, this was another world than what she was used too.
Even though Regina had practically created her own happily ending, there were a lot of things about this world that bothered her. There was just a lack of excitement with no magic, no royal balls, and God knows running a kingdom was a lot more boring here. Of course, Storybrooke had pretty much been in a semi-frozen state since she cursed the town. The only one who aged was Henry and while it appeared time passed it really didn't.
She had done well as a sorceress, she told herself. She was the best sorceress in the world. No one could beat her. Not her mother or Rumple, both who she killed. Not even her sister.
Regina's lip curled at the thought of Zelena. The witch had tried to derail her plans right before the curse was cast. She was planning on ruining all of Regina's hard work. She didn't know why she reared her head then—she said something about Regina being weak without Rumple.
Like, Regina needed Rumple. Killing that imp had been the best decision she made. Without the Dark One present, she controlled and ran the town. And yes, it seemed like the imp still owned the town because the curse had not factored in his death-but it wasn't like that money was going anywhere. Regina was still the richest woman in town and the rest were penniless.
As for Zelena, Regina laughed at her sister's fate. She would never hurt Regina again. Not that she even knew who Regina was these days. She should just be glad that she shared DNA with Regina in case she ever needed a kidney or something—like that was going to happen, but you never could be too careful. Besides, when neutralized it was much better to let her sister suffer than kill her. She was family after all.
Not that that had much meaning these days Regina thought, as she took a sip of her cider. Henry had been refusing to talk to her after she had Graham take Emma away. In fact, the only thing he told her was that she needed to shave.
Regina could've ringed his neck for saying that, even though she knew it was true, but instead she just settled on making her favorite dessert which she knew he hated: apple turnovers.
It wasn't quite as good as her tart, a little less showy, but it was decent comfort food and it always seemed to give Henry a bit of a bellyache.
She wasn't cruel. It wasn't like he went into shock when he ate the things like he did with strawberries. Regina remembered how freaked out she had been when he had accidently ate one at school and blew up like a balloon. That was before things had gotten so weird between them.
When they still at least pretended they cared.
A part of her, hated herself for disliking her own child so much. How could she be that way? Yes, she was evil, but Henry was supposed to be her child. But he wasn't easy to love. In fact, some days Regina hated him.
And that feeling of hate had been coming up more and more lately.
She knew that she had made a complete fool of herself at that diner with that woman. She shouldn't have lost her temper, but she couldn't control herself. That woman was a felon and had her son.
Of course, Emma Swan didn't look like a felon. And on that day, she probably was more put together than Regina. She was also a lot more calm and collected that Regina, actually having the audacity to threaten her with a lawsuit.
She took another sip of cider as there was a knock on her door.
She tried to remember if she had any appointments that regularly came by on Thursday. She couldn't recall, inwardly grumbling how things have lost their routine nature lately.
"Regina," A voice called from the other side of the door.
Graham.
Maybe he wanted to make up for their lackluster date. God knows, Regina needed that itch scratched even more than ever.
And this time there would be no beard burn since she had thoroughly waxed her upper lip.
She smirked as she checked her reflection in the mirror and smirked. "Come in."
He smiled at her. "You look well."
"Thank you," She said. "I'm surprised you came by the office."
"I thought we should talk." He said, "About what happened the other day at the diner. I haven't talked to you since then."
"I've been busy," She said. "And I imagine you have too, with your new prisoner."
"New prisoner?" He said.
"Yes," She said. "Or have you transferred her back to the jail cell that she escaped form already."
"Oh, right. You mean, Emma. She wasn't lying, Regina, she was exonerated. I called the jail myself. Seems she was framed for murder. She is actually an ADA in Boston."
"A what?"
"Assistant district attorney." He said. "She's done quite well for herself, and she's concerned about Henry."
Regina laughed. "She has no business being concerned about Henry. Not after she dumped him."
"I don't think she really had a choice in the matter, Regina." Graham said. "She does understand that you're his custodial parent though."
"It didn't look like that to me," Regina snapped. "Can't you arrest her for kidnapping or something?"
"She called the office and informed me that he was in her care and she was returning him to you. I really don't think that's kidnapping." Graham said. "Regina, I don't think you need to worry about her replacing you if that's what you're worried about. She is concerned about Henry though, and I can sort of see why with what happened at the diner."
"I was upset. How would you feel if you woke up and your little boy was gone?"
Really she wanted to ask was how would you feel if your brat outsmarted you by disappearing in the middle of the night. God, Regina hated being made a fool. She was furious at Henry and had been doing everything in her power to make sure he regretted his little escapade.
She hoped his stomach got a good once over last night.
"I know, Regina." Graham said. "But you have to realize Emma was a little alarmed."
"Emma? Really?"
"She's not that bad." Graham said. "You two would probably get along actually."
"I doubt that," Regina said rolling her eyes. "So, you failed at locking her up then?"
"I told you."
"Yeah, she was exonerated. Whatever. Then where is she? Please, tell me she left to go back to Boston."
"She didn't tell me her plans," Graham said. "Though she did ask if there were any legal positions in town."
"Please, tell me you told her that are town doesn't need a lawyer. I don't want her around Henry, Graham. It's just too confusing. Did you know he's insisting that I call him 'HJ' now? And that's after one meeting."
"Kids go through phases," Graham said with a shrug. "I remember hating my name when I was little because someone called me Graham Cracker."
Regina shook her head. "It's not just a phase. I already called a meeting with Archie. I just—I don't know what I'm going to do. Henry's already been such a difficult child, and I can only imagine it getting much worse if Ms. Swan comes back to town."
Graham sighed. "She seemed pretty adamant about coming back here, if it's any consolation I think she's worried about Henry too."
"Then maybe I can talk some sense into her." Regina said. "He's doing fine here, he doesn't need anymore complications. Besides, where is she going to find work anyway? We already have a prosecutor."
She didn't mention that the only private law firm in town was The Gold Firm—another relic of the cursed life she had set up for Rumple. Sure, Sidney might've had the credentials to be a lawyer too, but he didn't actively practiced unless Regina needed someone to procure a child for her.
"Yes, I did tell her the work opportunities would be limited. But who knows, she told me she was going to look into it."
Regina just shook her head. "Well, I hope she's unsuccessful. Now, sheriff, can I offer you a glass of cider?"
"Um, it's not Saturday, Regina." He said getting the very obvious innuendo.
"I thought I'd be spontaneous." She said with a smile as she reached towards him and started unbuttoning his shirt.
"Regina," Graham said. "I'm on duty."
"I know," She said. "You're supposed to serve the city. My city. Which means you're going to—"
Damn it, her phone started ringing.
She groaned picking it up. "This better be good."
"Regina this is Mary Margret," The woman said on the other end of the line.
Hearing, her stepdaughter's voice definitely ended any mood there was in the room. "What do you want?" She snapped.
Graham raised an eyebrow.
"I just wanted you to know that Henry's back at school. His—Ms. Swan found him running around town. I thought you called him in sick?"
"He claimed his stomach was still hurting this morning."
"Well, I can assure you that he's perfectly fine now." Mary Margret said. "You really should have someone watching him though when you're at work. He's ten, God knows what could've happened to him if Ms. Swan hadn't found him."
"Ms. Swan has no rights to him," She said. "She should be in jail right now. She's a felon."
"Exonerated felon." Graham said before receiving his glare of the day and promptly shutting up.
"I thought she was an attorney, she said she just relocated." Mary Margret said on the other end of the phone. "I didn't know, God I'm having coffee with her in a few days."
"Yeah," Regina snapped. "I want it made very clear that Ms. Swan is not to have access to Henry. And if I was you, I'd limit my contact with her."
"I'll see what I can do Mayor Mills."
"And Mary Margret has Henry returned that rancid book yet?"
"Um, I don't recall. I thought he said he couldn't find it the other night."
Neither could Regina, which made her wonder just where the book was. Good thing, she had a pretty good idea.
Relocated.
She soon found out where Emma Swan's new job was via Graham when it was reported that there seemed to be trespass at The Gold Law Firm and he had to leave before they could do anything again.
The Gold Law Firm.
That place had never been opened, as far as Regina was concerned.
She knew it's supposed Storbrooke history though. While she hadn't bothered writing out the Dark One's history the curse had explained his presence being absent from the town. He had married his one true love—gag her—and she had died at the hands of Moe French, much like the version that she had Rumple believing in the Enchanted Forest. Like there, Regina had helped Moe escape charges and Gold left in a rage not to be seen since.
Not that any of that was true. Except that she and Moe did work together to incarcerate his daughter, who had currently been locked up in the basement of Storybrooke General for years.
That's where most of Regina's prisoners went, save for Zelena who had to be contained in a much more creative way.
She had no idea how Emma Swan was able to get a job at the abandoned firm, which was one of the reasons she decided to show up at the how—again Rumple's house of all things—with an apple tart.
It made sense that she'd rent the home though since it was one of the only empty properties in the town.
Regina frowned as she looked at the ostentatious building. The color was really hideous. It was served to be an embarrassment to Rumple, but he wasn't there to live in shame. Besides the color, the manor was rather stately. It was on the same side of town that her home was on. Although, there was enough distance where they weren't exactly next-door neighbors—thank God. Even though dead, she didn't want anything to do with Rumple and now Emma Swan.
Which she guessed made her Welcome to Storybrooke tart a little ironic.
Ms. Swan wanted nothing to do with her and quickly saw that is was an act. It probably didn't help that Regina soon found herself barking at the woman again. Something about her infuriated her and she didn't know what.
She couldn't believe that the woman had the gall to laugh in her face when she threatened to throw her in jail if she saw Henry again. She could totally do that, she knew. But Emma mentioned something about having to get a restraining order which made Regina see red.
Then, to top off the entire mess, Emma told her to stick her tart up her ass and slammed the door in front of her face.
No one had ever done that before to Regina. Especially since she had created the curse. This would just not do.
She tried knocking again for a while, but to her annoyance Emma didn't open the door. Instead, she ignored her.
Needless to say, she sort of took it out on Henry that night who was due for a therapy session.
"Your teacher called me today, seems you weren't as sick as you claimed." She said when she plopped down dinner onto the table.
They had to eat dinner early that night, because of that appointment. Regina hated eating early. Only peasants ate early since they had to wake up and do chores. Queens were supposed to eat late at banquets not frozen lasagna. This had made her dark mood even worse.
Henry shrugged. "I was feeling better. And I decided to take a walk. It doesn't mean I was lying. Those turnovers gave me the shits."
"I should wash your mouth out with soap for saying shits." Regina said. "And I'm pretty sure you are lying to me. You want me to look like a fool."
"I wouldn't have to do anything to do that." Henry said rolling his eyes.
"We're going to have a lot to talk about with Dr. Hooper tonight." She snapped, "Your behavior this week has been atrocious. Mary Margret says you still haven't returned that book."
"I can't find it," Henry said. "Must have misplaced it."
"Or given it to someone," Regina said. "Did you give the book to Emma, Henry?"
"I don't get why you're so obsessed over it." He said, "They're just fairytales like you said."
"You said the book was freakish," Regina said. "That the drawings looked like people you know that I'm the Evil Queen."
Henry rolled his eyes. "I'm not crazy, Regina. If that's what you're trying to imply. I really don't think the book's real."
"It's not." She said. "But I don't like the fact you're not returning it to me, I don't think you simply lost it."
"It's probably in the Uber I took to Boston." Henry snapped. "But believe what you want, Regina."
"Its mom."
"What?"
"I want you to call me mom." She snapped, "Do you understand me, Henry?"
"Whatever," The boy said as he dug into his lasagna.
"I mean it Henry, I am your mother. You're not to be around Emma either. She's dangerous."
He laughed, "Emma dangerous. Seriously? I mean, I saw some kick boxing tapes in her apartment, but I doubt she'd hurt me."
"Henry," Regina snapped.
He rolled his eyes and didn't answer her.
Typical.
"I wish you wouldn't be so disagreeable." She said, "Finish up and then you can have dessert. It's apple tart."
"I don't think so, I had enough stomach aches to last for the week." The boy said.
"You're eating it." Regina snapped. "You were well enough to go to school today, so I think you can have some tart."
Archie Hooper's office was a bit pathetic. As for as modern psychiatrist office's go, it was more than a little outdated complete with editions of Ranger Rick Magazine from the 1980's. Then again, most things in Storybrooke were save for Regina's.
She had been sending Henry here since he was six. That was when the problems with the boy had really begun to surface. They had gotten into a big fight then, Regina couldn't remember what it was over—God knows, they got into so many fights and Regina ended up locking the boy in a room for the weekend without meals. When she let him out the boy refused to talk to her and then she ended up tripping over the stairs and twisted her ankle.
She remembered thinking the event was odd, she usually never tripped. She had always been graceful; you had to when you were a queen and if there was one thing Cora taught Regina it was to be a queen. She would've almost thought someone pushed her, but there Henry was at the bottom of the stairs looking at her with a smirk on his face like he was glad she had hurt herself.
She remembered yelling at him to get that freakish grin off of his face and help her to the sofa.
He ran off.
She was later told that the boy was traumatized, but she still could remember that look on his face. Like he was happy she hurt herself. There was something wrong with that, and she thought Hooper might be able to help. Or at least get the boy on some meds to make him less annoying.
The bug was stringent about trying to avoid medicating children though. Instead, he thought talk therapy would be beneficial and told Regina that it would probably be wise not to lock Henry up in small spaces at such a young age.
"He had a panic attack," Hooper said. "He got scared. I honestly think he was traumatized especially after your fall."
"He smirked." Regina said. "It was creepy. His birth mother, she is a murderer, I'm worried that rubbed off on him."
"Regina, he's a little boy. I don't know what your fight was about, but locking him up for long periods of time without food and water probably wasn't the smartest idea."
"I was punishing him. Showing him that there are consequences for his actions. What do you suggest, that I hit him?"
"Talk to him," Archie said. "And if you do find it necessary for him to be sent in his room, give him adequate breaks. Henry's a bit claustrophobic."
"But I can't talk to him." Regina said.
She shook her head, she had spent the past four years in this office trying to get through to Henry. Archie was still adamant about no drugs, and it seemed like they still hadn't made progress.
"He ran away last week." Regina hissed when Hooper appeared with that stupid dog of his—Bongo or Congo. Honestly, Regina could care less about the name. She hated all animals, save for horses. It was one of the reasons she tolerated Cruella better than most people since they both had a mutual hatred for furry things.
Archie nodded, "So, we have a lot to talk about then. Maybe we should do a group session?"
Regina rolled her eyes. "I just want you to prescribe drugs, I've been asking you to do that for years. It's gotten worse. He went across state lines to be with a murderer."
"Emma didn't kill anyone, genius." Henry said. "How many times do you have to be told she's been exonerated."
"You see that, he's back talking me right now." Regina said. "I know you said that talk therapy was the best course of action, but it's clearly not working."
Hooper sighed. "Regina, clearly Henry is upset."
"No shit Sherlock," She hissed.
"Please," He said. "Calm down. Clearly, you're upset."
"I'm upset because you're not doing your fucking job." Regina snapped.
Hooper rolled his eyes. Her outbursts were commonplace in their sessions. He would tell her to clam down. She'd ignore him, and eventually somehow he would manage to convince her to give talk therapy some more time. She was done with time though and she told him as much.
"This behavior isn't right? God, knows what could've happened to Henry if he stayed in that monster's care."
"Emma is not the monster you are," Henry snapped glaring at her with eyes.
Oh, how she hated those eyes. He most of gotten them from his father, she thought because Ms. Swan's eyes while green weren't that bizarre mixture of goldish green that Harry had.
"I am hardly a monster, Henry." Regina snapped, "Might I remind you that she dumped you. She didn't want you and threw you away like you were trash."
"Regina!" Archie snapped. "I think—I think it might be wise if Henry and I have some time alone to talk."
"Don't be ridiculous," Regina said.
"I do want to talk to Archie away from you." Henry said taking the beat Regina bait that the bug gave him.
She glared at Archie. "I want a prescription for him today. I'm done with this. If you don't give me what I want, I'll get your license removed, bug."
Archie could only stare at her as Regina got up and went into the waiting room and sighed heavily.
She didn't understand why she always had to be the bad guy. Why it was perfectly okay for Henry to mouth off at her and just be called acting up? Didn't she have any feelings? Apparently, not.
"Regina," Archie said a few minutes later. "A word. Henry you can wait here."
Henry was with him with a very smug look on his face. Regina glared at hm. He might've thought he got his way this time, but one way or another she was going to win this round.
She frowned as she walked into Archie's office. "Where's my prescription?"
"I don't think Henry needs anything." Archie said.
"I told you—"
"I am prescribing you something though," Archie said. "You're obviously under a lot of stress right now, Regina."
"I'm perfectly capable of handling things." Regina snapped.
"Be that as it may, I think you could do with something to help relax you. I know that having Henry's biological mother come into town can't be easy. Let alone, Henry running away."
"He needs to be prescribed something," Regina snapped. "It's gotten worse."
"I think the therapy sessions are fine for now. And I know as much as you hate it, it might be good for him to get to know Emma."
"I don't think so." Regina said. "The woman is a felon."
"She was exonerated." Archie said. "From what Henry tells me, she's very interested in getting to know him. That's a good thing, Regina."
"No, it's not." She barked. "I wanted a closed adoption for a reason, Hooper."
"I understand that, but Emma and Henry have met. You might want to rethink your priorities."
"Don't tell me what to think?" Regina snapped feeling the urge to pull out Archie's heart and turn it into dust.
Alas, this was the world without magic.
Archie saw the beginning of a rage-induced melt down. "I'm not trying to suggest what you feel Regina. You do have the right to make the decisions you would think best affect your family. It's just that Henry and Emma have now met, I don't know if what you wanted is really possible, especially since she wishes to live in town."
"She has no rights. Legally he is nothing to her."
"Regina." He sighed and finally said, "You can talk to me anytime you want. I am giving you that prescription, you don't have to take it though. Just please, try to think things through for Henry."
She rolled her eyes but took the prescription. She was going to get it filled all right but not for her.