Chapter 8: Regina Meets Potter
Regina couldn't be but a little giddy when she opened the Storybrooke paper with the expose that Sidney had wrote on one Emma Swan. The photo of her doing shots at The Rabbit Hole made it all the wroth while.
If this didn't get the woman out of town, she didn't know what would.
She laughed as she saw Emma halfway hunched over in a suit. The woman looked like an alcoholic. No one in his or her right minds would want that woman as an attorney. While the headline was a little blasé—"Bar Member Belly Ups at the Bar". Regina had to Sidney credit where it was do which meant they were doing breakfast.
"Did I please you?" He asked.
Regina smirked, "It's a masterpiece, Sidney. Hopefully, Ms. Swan will get the message."
He looked at her as if he expected her to say something. Although, he had no recollection of his past life, he still carried that unrequited love for her, which she used to her advantage.
It was a shame she wasn't really physically attracted to him like she was to Graham, it would've made things a lot easier.
She decided to burst his bubble. "Of course, this wouldn't be an issue if you would've done your job correctly."
"I told you, the state said that she was locked up for life. That she was not an issue."
"Clearly, they were wrong." Regina said. "Though, Graham could've told me as much."
"That guy is useless. Surely, you've learned that by now, my dear."
At that moment Sidney dared tried to put one of his grubby paws on top of Regina's recently manicured hand. She quickly pushed it away and snapped. "I don' think so. You're only remedying a mess that you made. And until Ms. Swan leaves town—well, it's not a job well done."
"She won't be staying after that." Sidney said. "Her firm will drop her."
"One hopes," Regina said. "And I do think everyone will get the message that Ms. Swan is not one to talk to."
She smirked as she thought about how she had pretty much got Mary Margret to stop being friendly to Storybrooke's newest resident. It didn't take much. Unlike her Enchanted Forest counterpoint, Mary Margret was quite spineless.
Sidney shook her head. "She should've known to leave well enough alone. You are a great mother, Regina."
She rolled her eyes. She knew she was hardly mother of the year. She had dosed Henry with some of those sleeping pills that Hopper prescribed her. She was going to try the mood enablers next. The sleeping pills worked like wonders though, she'd been able to actually get dressed without any interruption for once and not have to worry about dealing with Henry's weirdness.
"I only do what's needed." She said. "And Henry doesn't need her. I guess I should thank Graham though, more than anything else. He got her to the Rabbit Hole."
After a little heart to heart, Regina thought inwardly smirking. Although, the sheriff had no idea what had encouraged him to ask Emma Swan for help, let alone on a date. Although, much to Regina's chagrin there were genuine feelings there.
When she saw that she almost turned his little heart into dust right there and then, but didn't mainly because—well, she'd miss their Saturdays a little too much and it served its purpose last night.
Besides, she was not the jealous type. She told herself as much as she bit into her apple pancakes—a dish that had been made just for her. She frowned when she saw that they were slightly raw and motioned Ruby to came over.
"Mayor Mills, is everything all right?"
"These are raw." She hissed.
Ruby frowned as she looked at the pancakes and muttered something that sounded like Ashley.
"Are you referring to the dishwasher?" Regina asked. "What does she have to do with my pancakes?"
"I'll get you some new pancakes, Mayor Mills." The waitress said but before she could walk off Regina shook her head.
"Ruby?"
"Ashley's close to her due date. Granny offered her some extra shifts, thought it was the least she could do. She's in a rough patch, Mayor Mills."
Regina rolled her eyes. She had been hearing that for the past twenty-eight years. Honestly, if Ashley wasn't everlasting pregnant Regina would've taken the kid off her hands. While Cinderella's baby would likely be dull as dishwater, she doubted the kid would be a weirdo like Henry.
"I thought she was getting a lot of money from that adoption agency or whatever she was using."
"I—she wants to keep the baby." Ruby said. "At least that's what she's been saying lately."
Regina raised an eyebrow. "Really. I doubt Ashley could afford a baby. Surely, she can't be making much here."
Ruby sighed. "That's why she's taking on all the extra shifts. But clearly—"
"Yeah, my pancakes are raw." Regina said. "You should just keep her washing dishes."
"Duly noted." The waitress said. "I'll get you some new—"
Her voice trailed off.
"What is it?" Regina said turning around and not liking what she saw at all.
Another stranger.
She frowned as she looked at the man. He was fairly tall with darkish hair and was wearing sunglasses. He was wearing a suit of all things on a Saturday—well, at least he had good taste, Regina thought. Expensive taste.
From first sight alone, he was fairly attractive. The only problem was he was a stranger in her town and that would not do. How he ever got passed the barrier, Regina did not know.
"Is that a stranger?" Sidney asked.
Regina rolled her eyes, "I'm going to find out."
There hadn't been a stranger in town in years, not since she had reinforced the barrier after the hiker and Owen came. She shook her head at that little debacle, wondering just how the barrier had weakened. It was too bad she was never one for magical theory.
Regina had just begun studying magic and she was bored.
It wasn't as exciting as Cora had made it look. Sure, she took the book. Sure, she was able to throw her mother into Wonderland, but since then she hadn't learned anything exciting.
"Is there really any point in me reading this drivel?" She asked her teacher.
"Well, if you want to understand it, dearie. Then yes. However, if you want to be a complete nincompoop who just throws spells left and right, no."
"Will I still learn the basics?" She said not listening to Rumple's drivel.
"If you don't understand the theory then—"
"Will I still be able to learn magic if I don't learn theory."
"Yes," He said reluctantly. "But you'll never reach your fullest potential."
"I'll never reach my fullest potential if I'm stuck reading these God awful books."
"Can I help you?" She said in her sweetest voice.
The man turned towards her, "I'm doing a to go order two coffees. I want one with cream and sugar. The other one better be black with cinnamon. I'll also have—"
"I'm not a waitress." Regina barked, noting he had an accent.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You asked to help me."
"I'm the mayor of this town. I haven't seen you before in town." She said before adding. "Though maybe I can't recognize you with your glasses on."
"I want to order my food." The man said clearly ignoring Regina's request. "Do you know who I should ask here for that, please?
There was something about that word that annoyed Regina but she found herself pointing to Ruby. "Wait I—"
The man had already walked away.
As soon as he was done, she walked back to where he was. "That was rude."
"I'm hungry and a bit in a rush." The man said, "Sorry, I really wasn't in the mood for chit chat."
"Are you just passing through?" Regina asked.
"Actually, I'm staying here for a bit." He said, "To be with my family."
"You have family, in Storybrooke?" She said, "Surely, not."
The man took off his glasses and then Regina stiffened. Those eyes. She had seen those freakish eyes before on her son. "Oh, dear lord, no."
"What?" The man said. "Did I suddenly become disfigured?"
That was hilarious. The man was hardly hideous. He was just a doable as Graham but in a different way.
Regina shook her head. "No I—no you can't be."
"Can't be what?"
"Henry's father." She said.
"I believe he prefers to be called HJ." The man said, "Though his real name is Jaime. Please, in the future make note of this."
Regina glared at him. "You have no rights to him. You have no right to be in this town. Just like—just like that felon you knocked up."
The man shook his head at her. "Are you referring to Emma? You do realize she was wrongfully convicted, correct?"
Regina glared at him, "She was sentenced to life in prison. As far as the birth certificate is, you don't even exist. You have no rights to Hen—Jaime."
She frowned when she said that name. She didn't know how that occurred. Probably because she'd been hearing the rancid name for the past week.
"Well, at least you're starting to get his name right. That's a nice start, I guess."
"You don't have any rights, you hear me. You can tell that to that to Emma too. Not that she'll be staying in town long, after her little exploits last night."
"Oh, you mean, when you got the newspaper editor who you're dining with to take pictures and write lies about her in his little tabloid? Yeah, we saw that this morning. We're not that worried about it though. I mean, once the retraction is published it won't be that much of an issue."
"There won't be a retraction." Regina hissed. "There's no need for one."
"Well, our lawyer thinks otherwise. And I think if the Storybrooke Mirror wants to stay in business they might be willing to negotiate."
Before Regina could say anything else, Ruby arrived with the man's food.
"And I'll take that as my cue to leave." The man said, "Have a good weekend, Madam Mayor."
Needless to say, Regina was back to fuming.
She ended up shaking the kid awake. She knew he had to know something, at least more than the rest of the stupid town. Ruby didn't even know what the man's name was.
"What do you mean, you don't know his name. He was a paying customer." Regina hissed.
"He paid in cash and I was sort of dealing with Ashley in the kitchen. I told you what you said about the pancakes and she got a little hormonal. Her feelings are delicate right now, Mayor Mills. He's a stingy tipper if that helps."
Needless to say, Regina hadn't been that good of a tipper either that day. And she wasn't too happy with Sidney either who said he would probably have to run the retraction letter.
"Don't be ridiculous." She told him.
"I made it seem like she was a felon, Regina." Sidney said. "If I get sued they could finish me."
"I wouldn't let that happen, Sidney and you know it. When they call tell them your not printing a damn retraction letter and that you'll fight it in court if you have to."
"But—"
She had to get to Henry.
The kid wasn't waking up right away. No big surprise there, those things kept him out like a light and she had given him enough to sleep till noon. God knows, she'd hate it later, but she was planning on dosing him with the mood agents so it would be okay.
When Henry woke up he looked at her wide eyes. Yes, those freakish eyes were an exact match to that man at the diner. She frowned, in the past she had thought there was something so familiar about them, now though—now, she knew it wasn't familiarity. She had never seen that man—Henry's father—which made things even more confusing.
"Good morning, Hen-Jaime." She said in a syrupy sweet voice. The one she used to use around him all the time, until they had came to a mutual agreement to stop faking it.
She frowned as she used the child's birth name again. She didn't know why she did that. Maybe it was because she had been hearing that name so many times lately.
The boy was so out of it, he didn't give her a sharp remark about how she was using his "real" name. God, did Regina hate that name. It reminded her that despite all of the papers she had, someone else had a claim to the boy.
And Regina did not like sharing.
"Aren't you going to say something?" Regina snapped.
Henry blinked for a moment. "I—what time is it."
Regina rolled her eyes. "It's after nine, you should be well awake tormenting me by now."
Well, technically he shouldn't. She had given him enough of that stuff to keep him out of her hair for most of the day. The last thing she needed was another Saturday ruined.
Henry yawned and murmured, "So sleepy."
"Oh, no, not having that." Regina snapped. "You and I are going to have a little chat about what you did."
Henry didn't answer her as he snuggled back in bed.
This would not do, so Regina took out her secret weapon—a bottle of water and threw it over the boy's head.
She smirked as the boy jerked awake.
"Bloody hell?" Henry said.
Regina glared at him, "Language. And how on Earth do you know the word 'bloody'?"
She knew it was from that stupid British station she always caught him watching. She really didn't get why the boy was so obsessed with that time traveling doctor show. She kept thinking about removing that channel, but often the TV was her only solace from the menace that was her son.
Henry just shook his head at her. "You threw a glass of water on me."
"Bottle of water," Regina clarified. "And I want you to answer my question."
"I don't even know what you're talking about." Henry snapped as he got out of bed. "Jesus, it looks like I wet the bed."
"It does, doesn't it?" Regina said getting out her phone and taking a picture. "Would be a shame if this happened to end up on the web thing. I'm sure it wouldn't go well with your little friends."
Henry rolled his eyes as he grabbed some clothes. "I doubt you would know how to post it. And it's not that I care anyway, I don't have any friends."
Regina wasn't really surprised. That was the common thing she heard in every parent teacher conference—Henry was a bright boy but not really sociable. A part of it, she knew, was that his classmates never aged and were in the permanent status of cliques.
She was just glad he hadn't pieced together yet that his various classmates had never aged. She had to waste some of the precious magic she had left to create that illusion.
Not that she had much magic stockpiled in this town.
God, she missed it.
The feeling of power running through her veins. She loved the fact that the curse had allowed her to win, but there were days she just wanted to throw a fireball at something like today. But she could barely get a spark out, if even that.
"Well, I'm sure it would make your life harder." She smirked. "Which is why you're going to tell me about your birth father."
"Birth father?" Henry said. "Emma didn't mention anything about him."
Oh, how she longed to have the ability to zap him until she told her the truth. Instead, Regina did the next thing and picked up his gaming system. "Well, if public humiliation won't work there are other ways to get you to talk. It would be a shame if this—whatever it was, was to get broken."
"You wouldn't dare." He said those freakish eyes getting narrow.
"I won't if you tell me about your sperm donor." Regina said, "I'm not stupid. I know, you know what's going on—Henie."
God, why was she trying to say that God awful birth name?
"I don't know anything," Henry said. "I swear, Regina."
He then gave her the puppy eye pathetic look that had stopped working when she fell down the stairs.
Regina just rolled her eyes as she opened the window and threw the console out of it. "Obviously, I don't believe you."
"But—is my dad in town?"
"I'm not telling you that." She said, "Besides, you already know. And that man will never be a father to you. Only a sperm donor."
"That's not true." Henry said.
"Emma and that man, whoever he is, aren't your parents." Regina hissed. "And I want you to think about that this weekend, in this room. And you won't be leaving this time. I can assure you that."
He glared at her. "You know what Dr. Hooper says about my claustrophobia."
"You should've thought about that earlier," Regina snapped.
Besides, it wasn't like she was planning on leaving him awake all weekend. She dosed him up with some pills before she went on her date.
"My bed's wet."
"Again, not my problem. I'll make sure you get your food and give you a bathroom break before I leave, Hen—Jaime."
"Regina, please."
"Again, you had your opportunity."
She then slammed the door shut not noticing the obvious fear on the boy's face.
Regina couldn't help but smile as she and Graham went to The Rose that evening. All things considering, things had gone well. Sure, Henry had screamed a good portion of the morning until Regina managed to sneak some more of those pills into his lunch.
Now, he was sound asleep or at least not making a peep. She didn't even bother getting Mary Margret to come over. She felt like her stepdaughter deserved a break, besides after dealing with her earlier this week she wasn't even sure she could stand her face.
A part of her winced at the thought of leaving her ten-year-old alone overnight, but he would be asleep she told herself. And locked in his room with the new deadbolt she installed.
Regina smirked at that. There would be no more sneaking out in Boston.
"You look amazing."
And that would be her date.
He was actually being honest this week after a thorough waxing, her upper lip was completely bare and Regina knew that she was truly the fairest one of all in Storybrooke. It helped that she sort of had control over the thing and had banished Snow White to an eternity of bad haircuts and cardigans. Regina was wearing a tight-banded black and purple cocktail dress that showed off her voluptuous figure. A large amethyst necklace was the only jewelry she wore, and her hair was slicked back.
"Why thank you." She said, "You don't clean up bad yourself, sheriff."
He nodded, but something was off he looked upset.
"Is something wrong, Graham?"
He sighed heavily, "I saw the paper. I feel bad about what happened last night with Emma."
"Oh," She said. "Well, Sidney only posts the truth. You can't help it that Ms. Swan has a drinking problem. I knew there was some reason the state took away my son from her."
Graham sighed, "I invited her for drinks last night, Regina. After—well, she had a hard day in court."
Regina knew as much, she had set the entire thing up. Not that Graham knew that. As far as he was concerned, the idea popped into his head like these little rendezvous. Thank God, heart magic still worked here. Or at least from the hearts she had pilfered before moving realms.
"Oh," She said. "Well, you were being nice."
"I genuinely like her though." He said.
"Like her?" Regina said getting upset. She did not want Graham to like Emma; he was only supposed to like her. She had made sure of it. The last time the huntsman had acted this way she had to give him a mind wipe so he wouldn't think about that stupid little librarian he had picked up.
She still remembered the confrontation. She had ambushed him back in the cheap little hotel she had him staying at in Boston. Well, ambush wasn't the right word. She was going to surprise him, make him ditch the little brunette and had even wore some expensive lingerie that day, but Graham was having none of it.
"Regina?" He said surprised when he saw her on his bed.
"I thought I'd come visit," She said with a smile. "I haven't heard anything from you in awhile. Maybe you have an update on my case?"
"Oh," He said. "Regina, I'm sorry. There's no need for you to worry. The adoption is closed. You don't need to worry about the baby's mother fighting for him."
"Good," She said. "Then you can come home. I missed you Graham."
"That's the thing, Regina, I don't want to go home."
Needless to say, things didn't exactly go well after that. But she sorted everything out, but right now. Now she felt she was feeling the same thing.
However, this time she could work with it, she thought as her thoughts drifted to the guy Emma was with. It was obvious that they were together—maybe, just maybe, she could use Graham's infatuation to her advantage. She decided to press the issue further with Graham. "Do you have feelings for her, Graham?"
Graham sighed. "Regina, I—"
"It's okay if you do," She said trying to sound sincere. It was harder than it seemed, she enjoyed Graham. He was her go to sex toy. Losing him—even temporary—would be hard, but if she could get rid of Emma and that man. Well, then, it might be worth it.
He sighed heavily. "I do. I find her interesting, but I don't think—Emma doesn't seem to want anything else. God knows, she wouldn't let me help her to the front door last night when she tripped."
Regina rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm sure if you continue to woo her she'll come around."
"Regina," He said. "Really, you're okay with this."
"I'm fine." She said, "I just want you to be happy Graham, but if you don't mind I would like one more Saturday with you, you know a proper goodbye."
He nodded, not knowing that he had no choice in the matter.
The sex was quick and efficient like always. She knew Graham wasn't really into it, she didn't expect him to be. He had basically dumped her for Emma after all, and she had gave him her blessing. But she still wanted it, needed it. She had a feeling she wouldn't be getting it for some time to come, so she had to enjoy it while she could.
The sad thing is she could never really bask in the afterglow after these encounters with Graham. Sure, she wouldn't return home until noon the next day, but—well, it wouldn't be because Graham and her were whispering sweet nothings in each other's air.
They were mostly sleeping. Watching TV or eating or something that would keep her away from Henry for a few minutes longer.
"I'm going to miss this," She heard herself saying. She was, she didn't know how she was going to be spending the next few Saturday nights.
Obviously, she could always ask Sidney to be her bed buddy but ew.
No.
It was only Graham who she deemed suitable enough. Of course, she suppose she could wake Charming up from his eternal slumber in the hospital and make him her endless love slave, but Prince Good Looks had never really interested her enough. That was, after all, why she kept him in his eternal slumber all these years. Besides the fact, that something compelled her not to kill him even though she had all the necessary tools to do so.
"Regina?"
"Huh?" She said taken aback. She hadn't known that Graham was awake. It had to be at least one in the morning at this point.
"Your phone," He said. "It's been ringing, you haven't heard it, babe?"
She smiled at the heart squeezed induced nickname for herself. "Oh. I must've been asleep. Sorry."
He nodded.
She frowned as she looked at the missed call, she didn't recognize the number. Whoever would be calling that night, she didn't know. And honestly, she didn't care. "I'll call them back in the morning." She told Graham. "Let's get to sleep."
"Um, actually it might be better if I go." He said.
"What?"
He sighed, "I want to do this right with Emma. To be honest, we probably shouldn't have slept together tonight."
"Oh come on, it didn't mean anything."
He sighed, "I know, I just—Regina I really want to do this right. If I'm going to get Emma to go out with me then—"
Think of the bigger picture, Regina. A voice in her head said that sounded very much like her mother's.
She sighed heavily as she watched him button his shirt. "I get the picture. I hope your happy, Graham."
No she didn't. She was just saying that, but he nodded as he helped her zip up her dress. "You deserve to be happy too, Regina. I hope you'll finally be able to find happiness."
She wanted to laugh, tell him those days were long over.
He looked at her, "I really do believe you can find happiness after Daniel."
She wanted to laugh telling him that there was no one after Daniel, but she couldn't he wasn't even referring to her Daniel.
He actually took her silence for what it was worth. "It's been years, Regina. I know that you say what we have is nothing, but it's clear you want companionship again. Let's be honest, whatever we had it wasn't just sex. I was more or less feeling a need that you had."
"This is not the time to be psychoanalyzing me, Graham." She snapped, "I'm fine. Believe it or not, I had no emotional attachment to whatever this was."
"Regina."
"Just go, will you." She snapped. "I'll pay the bill like always. Your services are no longer needed."
He sighed heavily, but nodded his head as he left.
As soon as he was gone, Regina's phone started buzzing again and rather than answering it, she took her frustrations out and threw it against the wall causing the flimsy pieces of plastic to break.
She frowned as she buried her head in the pillow, Graham had felt pity for her. And the last thing Regina needed or wanted was pity.