There were absolutely zero answers in Hong Kong.
A call from Loralie had confirmed that the monks and spiritualists there had no answers for grim reaper who shared his soul with another person. And Shane had to perform an acrobatic dance of smooth talk to convince his sister not to return to Hell, where she would find an empty apartment as proof of her daughter's lies.
"We don't have much time," SHane said. "Wouldn't it be better for you to go to the next place to find answers?"
"Fine," Loralie had replied after a prolonged pause. "I don't want you to worry,. I will find an answer."
"I trust you," Loralie had said before hanging up.
Shane hadn't expected Loralie to find an answer in Hong Kong. But he realized now that a part of him had hoped. With every passing day, with every failed city, Shane knew she was that much closer to death.
What would happen to him after he died? the idea that he'd just stop existing terrified him. It was so unfair. he'd lived her life walking a fine line, always being careful. Always being obedient. And the one time he'd tried to truly live had been his undoing. And now he was doomed?
Was it because Shane had been a fool to hope for more out of life?
Walking used to clear his mind, but SHane had been stalking the streets for an hour and it had only proved he was weaker than ever. He wiped sweat from his brow despite the chill that still clung to the early spring air.
Shane paused, letting himself lean against a bus shelter. She'd wandered to the old neighborhood. If he followed the fork to the left, he'd be back at his old house. And to the right, Jihoon.
A crack of thunder sounded overhead.
Shane glanced at the cloudy sky. It felt like the heavens were mocking him, or perhaps empathizing with his mood.
Two steps and his shoes were drenched. The rain fell in a heavy blanket, so he barely saw a meter in front of him. No sane person would want to be caught out in this. Yet still he walked. Stuffing her hands into his pockets, he continued to walk without feeling the chill that soaked through his clothes, his skin, his bones.
"Idiot, you never hear of an umbrella?" Words echoed from another time.
Jihoon stood in front of him, his umbrella so large it created a safe haven underneath. "Are you following me?"
"Of course not,"Shane replied. It was the truth. he hadn't meant to come here. It had just . . . happened. he moved to go around Jihoon. He stepped to the side to block his path.
"This is my neighborhood," Jihoon pointed out. "If you're not following me, what are you doing here?"
"How do you know I didn't move back into my old place?"
"Did you?" He lifted a brow in challenge.
"No." Shane moved to the other side and was blocked again.
"Did you mean it before?"
This stopped Shane in her tracks.
"When you said you'd help my grandmother, did you mean it?"
"It's why I came back."
"I don't know if I can trust you."
Shane nodded and spun away so Jihoon couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. She didn't have a right to be hurt by his distrust.
But the movement was too quick, the road too steep, and his legs too weak from hours of walking. They gave out beneath him, and shane began to topple over.
Jihoon caught him a millisecond before she hit the asphalt. He held Shane so close he felt his heart pounding through his shirt. Not so calm after all. Shane's sped to match it in a frantic race as the warmth of Jihoon's body seeped into him.
If shane turned her head, they'd be face to-face. So close shane could lean in and . . . Jihoon stepped back, releasing Shane. They were both soaked through now. Jihoon's umbrella lay next to them, where it had fallen.
Shane remembered another rain-filled night when he'd held themclose.
When he'd looked at Shane with affection. Now he watched Shane Warily.
"Here." Jihoon picked up the umbrella and thrust it at Shane.
Shane frowned at the handle, as if it would come alive and bite him.
"Why?"
"It's just an umbrella. Don't read too much into it."
"I'm not," shane insisted, but his fingers still wouldn't reach for the handle.
"Take the damn fucking thing." Annoyance laced his command. And a blaze of fire spread through Shane, forcing his limbs up. Shane thought he noticed a shining line connecting her heart to Jihoon's, then she blinked and it disappeared.
Shane gripped the handle, his hand brushing against Jihoon's.
"I don't want to be like this," Jihoon said, still holding the umbrella. "I don't want to hate you."
"What do you want, then?"
"I don't know." He finally let go of the umbrella. "It makes me so mad you're back, but if you leave again I'll hate you even more."
Drops of water fell down his cheeks. Shane didn't know if they were tears or rain.
"I'm used to people leaving," he continued. "I'm just not used to them coming back."
Jihoon's words pierced Shane's heart, leaving another hole in the already battered thing.
"Here." Shane tried to hand the umbrella back.
"Just take it and get out of here."
There was a force in Jihoon's voice, a heat that arrowed through Shane, and he felt his hands clenching tighter around the umbrella. A command she could not deny. "I'll return it."
"Tomorrow," Jihoon said. "At the hospital. I'll meet you there after school."
Shane nodded and walked quickly away, not wanting to look back, but he did. Jihoon stood in the same place, drenched, watching him leave.
• • •
The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time Shane walked through the narrow alley that led to Minjae's other apartment. Each step felt heavy. Like more than just rain-soaked socks weighed his limbs down. Shane stumbled, his vision blurring, lights flashing behind his eyes. For a second she thought they were ghosts and remembered another time he'd come down this alleyway searching for help. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it had been less than four months earlier.
Shane fell to her hands and knees. A discarded shard of glass sliced into his palm and he swore. But even his cursing was weak. Shane would have lain there, letting the sprinkle of rain cool his overheated cheeks, but a shadow fell on his.
"What a sight," Minjae said with a tsk. "Normally I'd rejoice at having a pretty person sprawled out waiting for me. But I know for a fact this one bites."
Shane didn't have the energy to yell at him or punch him, though they were both all he wanted to do right now.
Minjae hoisted Shane up, swinging his arm around his shoulder.
Shane was unceremoniously deposited in the dry bathtub, where he wouldn't drip on the pristine floor. Minjae returned with a cup of bitter smelling, steaming liquid. He'd probably heated it to warm his chilled bones, and somehow that made the concoction taste worse.
"I don't remember you taking an umbrella when we left," Eamon said, appearing out of nowhere.
"I didn't," Miyoung muttered, pulling off his shoes and pouring the dirty rainwater down the drain.
"Where'd you get it?"
Shane didn't want to say, but knew that Eamon and Minjae would guess anyway.
"Jihoon."
"How chivalrous."
"I didn't want to take it." Shane pulled off his socks next.
"Did he use his soul magic on you?"
"Don't call it that." Shane threw his socks at both of them and missed. The smacked into the wall, the dirty water splattered everywhere, and Minjae winced. He hated dirt in his home.
"He possesses your soul. He could make you do anything he wants. What else should I call it?" Eamon asked, handing her a towel.
"Except he doesn't know he has it." Shane stepped out of the tub, feeling a little steadier.
"Has that stopped him from commanding you to do things?"
Shane fumed, unable to answer.
"See," Eamon reasoned..
"I don't pay you to have an opinion," Shane said.
"Whether I say it aloud or not, he's dangerous to you." Eamon pointed out.
"And he's in danger, too. I think the bead is hurting him. His mortal body wasn't meant to hold something so powerful." Minjae agreed.
"You don't take a soul on the off chance it could hurt him. You came back to help him with his grandmother. Isn't that enough?" Eamon asked, his eyes softened.
"Nothing will ever be enough. Even if I had ten mouths to apologize, it wouldn't be enough." Shane pushed past the both of them.
"Ya! You're dripping," Minjae called after Shane.
Shane ignored him and stepped into his room. When Minjae tried to follow, shane slammed the door in his face. It was childish but it was satisfying. Shane peeled off his wet clothes, letting them fall with a plop, and wrapped himself in a robe.
he dropped onto her bed, slamming his head against the headboard. The pain was one more thing to pile onto the miserable day.
Minjae and Eamon were right. Shane hated that they so often were. Jihoon had his soul and therefore held a power over him. When he demanded she do something in just the right way, Shane felt a fire in his chest. And he was unable to deny his command.
Shane glanced toward the calendar hanging on her wall. Three weeks until the next full moon and a month until the hundredth day. A countdown had begun the night Loralie had attacked Jihoon. The first night he didn't take a soul. And with each full moon that passed and each time he chose not to take a soul, shane grew weaker and weaker until he'd fade into nothing. Shane lifted her hand, almost expecting to see through it like a ghost. But other than being a bit paler, it was stil there. For now.
Loralie wasn't the only one who'd been searching for an answer.
he'd come up with his own theories.
There was more than one reason he refused to take a soul. Shane believed if he made his own soul weak enough, it could be removed from Jihoon on the hundredth day. Right before he faded away forever.
Shane wondered again what became of a grim reaper when they died.
He had a month before he had to find out.