'BREAKING NEWS: INFAMOUS K HAS ONCE AGAIN ESCAPED IN A ROBBERY!'
'CHIEF POLICE HAS DECIDED TO JOIN FORCES WITH THE CIA TO TRACK 'K' DOWN'
'CITIZENS ARE GETTING RESTLESS'
'POLICE ARE FIGURING THE PATTERN OF THIS MYSTERIOUS ROBBER'
'WILL HE EVER BE CAUGHT? OR WILL HE ROAM THE STREETS FREELY, ENDANGERING THE CITIZENS' LIVES?'
"Ahh, these bullsh*ts again!" Keagan groaned. He switched off the television and tossed the remote onto the couch. He jumped onto the couch and hugged the cushion. He let out a sigh as he stared at the classy chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
"I've been on the news for the longest time already! Seriously? This is getting extremely boring!" Keagan muttered.
"You're saying it as if you don't like this attention. And don't try to refute what I said. We both know that's a complete lie," the man next to him smirked. Keagan glared at him. "I love this attention! In fact, I think I'm insatiable. The more people are attentive to me, the better! This feeling of success is awesome. You should try it out."
The man scoffed. "Then, what are you complaining for? You're getting more than enough attention for yourself."
"I'm lacking competition. Actually, scratch that. There's literally no competition at all!," Keagan grinned.
The man stared at Keagan blankly. "You are the most sadistic man that has ever existed in this world. Why did I even choose to help you? I should've declined your offer. What have I done?"
Keagan just shrugged. "Anyway, what should our next escapade be? We've already robbed dozens of banks and jewellery stores. Should we try to be grey hat hackers instead? Oh, I know! How about we travel to Russia and ambush the Mafia den? So many things to do but so little time for me to accomplish them! What am I even doing here wasting my time?" Keagan asked with sparkling eyes.
The man looked at him agaped. "You are a very malicious person! We literally just robbed a bank yesterday. You ought to take a chill pill."
"Oh come on, Fred! We've been through this before! Remember our motto?" Keagan vexed as he placed his four fingers crossed on each other and held it up in front of Fred. "YOLO"
A frown etched on Fred's face. "Keagan, don't you want all this commotion to die down before you commit another crime? After all, you can get headlines like 'K made a comeback after months of lurking in the shadows'. Think of all the attention that would be showered on you. You'll undoubtedly be on the news for at least 3 days straight," Fred air quoted.
"You are just a coward, aren't you? Tsk, I can't believe my sidekick is lacking of guts!" Keagan shook his head. "No, I'm only worried for you, Keagan," Fred defended himself. "Yeah right, if you are worried for me, then explain why my lunch is always disappearing?" Keagan challenged.
"Ahem, right. About that, uhm, I-"
"Umhm, explain yourself, you pizza kidnapper!" Keagan growled.
"Well, there was a whisper in my left ear that was urging me to gobble up your pizza. It went something like, 'Fred, the pizza needs you~'. So, who am I to refuse. Actually, who is anyone to refuse the temptation of pizza? Pizza is delicious!" Fred described as he made ghostly sounds.
"And you're expecting me to believe what you said? You're literally the guy who can sustain aphrodisiac and now you're telling me, you couldn't resist my delicious cheesy pizza?"
"Okay, how did we get from dealing with deadly missions to pizza? This random jumps of conversation is really fast-paced. My small brain can't handle all this stress."
"Right, about that. Shall we execute our next mission tomorrow?" Keagan gleamed.
"Psychopath. Maniac. Freak. Lunatic. Nut case. Madman," Fred mumbled under his breath.
"Whatever you say pizza thief," Keagan shrugged. He stood up and climbed the stairs, heading to his bedroom.
"Why did I get myself into this?" Fred smacked his forehead.
~~~~~
"Guns?"
"Check"
"Pocket knives?"
"Check"
"Weird looking masks?"
"Check"
"Taser?"
"Check"
"Samurai sword?"
"Che-wait a minute. Samurai sword?" Fred asked puzzled.
"Hmm, it looks like you were actually paying attention! Atta' boy!" Keagan smirked as he ruffled Fred's hair.
Fred stared menacingly at Keagan who was zipping his suit up. "You-"
"Alright, I know I'm very handsome. Stop staring at me. You're making me blush. Oh, I think my face is warm already!" Keagan rolled his eyes.
Fred clenched his fist as he resisted the urge to punch the man in front of him. "Bob is waiting outside with the car. If you're ready, let's hit the road!"
Keagan smug and bent down, slightly tapping on the marble floor.
"There, I've hit the road."
"You know, Keagan. One day, if you find yourself without a head, it might have been done by me. Heck, I would be doing a favour to the world," Fred said as he stormed to the front door.
"Tsk, my sidekick is one violent and dense potato. I wonder if I put him in the oven, would he become a baked potato instead?," Keagan shook his head in disapproval as he walked out of his mansion.