"Her eyes are blue, Haechan!" I exclaimed and the memory of her picturesque beauty flashed in the core of my memory. If I had a camera that time, I would have taken her picture but I didn't and I didn't want to piss her more than I already do. "From a far, it looks like black but her eyes are really really blue. They even get brighter when they hit the sun. It's the most beautiful blue I've ever seen in my life. It's not like a normal blue that people see. It's absolutely breath-taking."
Haechan, however, wasn't as impressed as I hoped. His eyes were droopier than I remembered and they weren't as mad as they did the last time I kept babbling about forest – as a matter of fact, they were a lot madder than I remember. "Is that supposed to make me like her for you?" Is it? "For God's sake Mark, just stop already! You're making me puke my guts out."
My eyes widened. "I like spending time with her. I can't stop myself, Haechan. Believe me, I really tried to not walk up to her and say the most awkward, uncomfortable hi I've ever greeted someone, but I just can't stay put when I know I have the chance to be with her."
He sighed and looked away for a moment before turning back to me. "Does she even know you?" Maybe? "Not intentionally." He answered his question. "Does she even want you around her?" Well— he exclaimed and every word just broke my heart knowing how brutal yet so true those words he was saying are. "Probably not but that's okay because I don't want you spending your time with her!"
I looked down miserably. I feel like I already broke my heart by Haechan's realistic point-of-views when I haven't even gotten the chance to give it a shot. Or maybe it was just because I couldn't convince Haechan to see Forest the way I see her. Either way, I already lost when I haven't even tried the game.
"You're not saying anything because you know I'm right."
I frowned and stared at my untouched food. I suddenly felt so full even if I was so hungry before we came here. Thoughts can truly change a person in a blink of an eye. One moment, you're the happiest; the second, you can't even hide your sadness anymore.
"Hi Mark."
I looked up and saw Connie passing by with her friend. "Hey, Connie."
She smiled before she completely passed us by.
"Why can't you just like Connie instead?"
I glared at Haechan a little taken aback by what he just said. "Connie Scott? Really?" I frowned in disbelief. "You know she's not my type, Haechan."
"The girl obviously likes you Mark, don't tell me you don't know that."
Well, I do know that she likes me considering that she even confessed her feelings before and asked me to date her which I deliberately refused to do. It was heartless of me to reject someone as good as Connie but I didn't like her the way she does. Connie Scott is one of the most admired girls in our school. Everyone thinks that her alleged natural brown hair suits her well. People envy her sense of fashion. Everyone liked her so much that everything she does is important. Which means, if I treat her like crap, I become the bad guy who chose a demon over a princess which doesn't sound like a bad thing. Princesses are overrated and they're too – fluffy for me to take care of. "I don't feel comfortable with her. I don't like how popular she is. She's too overrated for me," I defend.
Haechan snorted and looked at me in disapproval. "Are you for real, Mark?"
I shrugged unsure why he had such reaction. "There's just no spark."
"Sparks don't exist, brother."
"It does and I felt them when Forest first took my drink. Like an explosive inside my body – like fireworks."
He shivered exaggeratedly. "That's probably the cringiest thing you've told me for the past twenty years I've had with you. Stop with your Shakespeare drama. You're no Shakespeare."
"I was just stating an argument to prove the existence of love sparks."
"Now you're Plato too?" He exclaimed and shook his hand in the air. "God. Please let me be friends with someone else in my next life. Someone who isn't as crazy as the person I'm with right now." But they really did feel like fireworks that night. That night I won't ever forget.
****
Where are you, Chris? I asked myself as I roamed around the house like a newbie tuna. The place was full and if it weren't for my brother, I wouldn't even be here and I blame mom for thinking that we can actually get along better if I tagged along with him every time he lies about going to a group study or a normal hang out with his friends. This isn't a normal hangout. This isn't normal even for someone like me who is, well, socially accepted and admired in school.
I sighed making myself through the crowd that didn't care about hitting each other. So this is what wild parties really look like. I wouldn't have known. This is terrible than I expected but I wouldn't really expect it to be like a birthday party with decent people. Looking at every student I came across with, I wouldn't have thought that they were my age. They all look like people in their 30s in a bar with shots in their hands.
The place reeked of different kind of alcohol, a hint of smoke and other substances I wasn't aware of. For I know, people have already farted in here for, per say, approximately twice. It smelled so bad, I had to cover my nose with my arm as I passed through a crowd that doesn't seem to end anytime soon.
"Chris!" I yelled when I spot him on a kitchen counter with an unfamiliar girl with her legs wrapped around his waist. I turned to look at the girl without making it seem judgmental. She looked like a slut no matter how much I try to convince myself that she could be a decent woman who goes to church every Sunday. But you can't go to church with a dress that shows almost half your chest area, shows half your butt cheek. She is the best description of a slut. "Let's go home. Mom's going to kill both of us if we don't get back home by ten!" I tried to whisper. The music was so loud. I can barely hear my own voice.
Chris didn't look too happy that he saw me. It was evident that he wasn't even planning to go home before six in the morning. He whispered something to the girl which made her free him from her slutty legs. "Why don't you just go ahead? I'll just make something up when I get home. I can't leave the party. Nothing even happened yet. It's only starting!"
What?!
"So just go home and forget about me, a'right?"
"But—" He gave me a pat before approaching his girl again. I gritted my teeth in dismay. I would have just stayed home and watched something more meaningful than this. I turned away and wondered what I should do inside the car while waiting for my brother who apparently was a big fan of parties like these. I should just read a pdf or something. Yes. I'm going to do that.
"Hey, kid!"
I froze. I don't know why I froze and I don't know why it felt like it was me being called when the place was full of people. It can't be me right? I turned to see who the speaker was and I saw a guy wearing a black leather jacket. He was looking at my direction. When I tried to continue walking away, he called out again.
"Hey!" This time, I turned to my back to see who he was speaking to this far but no one was there. – no one was in his line of vision that is, but me. I unconsciously pointed at myself in confusion. Is he pertaining to me? "Yes, you. Come here." He and his friends that were in a circle laughed. My knees began shaking. I never felt so disrespected before.
I don't even know why my feet were bringing me there when I already had a bad feeling about it and I couldn't seem to stop it from moving. I would have ran away but my stupid feet dragged me here. "Y-Yes?" I asked the guy who just hissed at me like we knew each other.
He landed his arms over my shoulder and faces his audience. A small group of people who were holding red cups. "You're new here right? I never see you before so," He announced and I didn't even had to respond for him to know my answer because he obviously already know my answer. "It's always my responsibility to take care of newbies and it's a tradition here that if it's your first time, you should take a drink from me so here's a cup especially for you." He offered a red cup to me. Even just by looking at it, it was screaming trouble The way he said 'especially' was horrendously terrifying on its own.
"No, thank you. I'm only here to fetch my brother."
He scoffed out loud and the crowd laughed with him like a gag show. "It's just one drink, kiddo. You won't die from this. Come on. You're gonna love it. You're gonna thank me for it someday!" The crowd cheered for him. "Besides, no one breaks traditions here. You'll be the first and everyone will hate you if you don't do it. You'll be eating in a bathroom stall for the rest of your senior year."
I crouched away when he pushed the drink to me. "I really don't think—"
"Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!"
My heart raced. Maybe I should just finish this and get this over with. I don't know my alcohol tolerance but it shouldn't be too low, right? I mean, I'm a guy. Guys must have higher alcohol tolerance. My hands reached for the cup and everyone cheers louder.
"Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!"
The moment I was about to drink the thing, someone suddenly took it away from me. I turned to the person across me by shock. The redhead girl gulps down the drink like it was water - like it wasn't even stinging her throat from all the acid and coldness.
When she brought the cup down, she wiped her mouth. Her eyes remained down low before turning back to the guy who spoke to me. She was as pale as the snow and I can see ink peeping through her jacket by the collar. Her unusual red hair was flowing down her chest majestically. She was a beauty and I found myself astonished by her sudden appearance.
"Still being feisty now are we, Four?" The guy said bringing up another cup. I don't even know where all these cups were coming from. It was as if he kept them in his pocket. "Drink for me?"
She suddenly slammed the cup over his chest and took a step backward. "Keep dreaming, Terry." Terry is his name after all.
I took a step back afraid that she might bump into me when she walks away but she suddenly paused in front of me and sent a wrecking glare. Her eyes looked like they were spitting fire and it was very scary. After that, she left without a word and felt her hair brush through my skin. Four. If the guy called her Four, then that must be her alias? Four.
****
I was on my way out of the school to buy a few materials I needed for class when my attention was diverted to the smoke coming from a corner of the ID Department building. I took a step closer to the narrow aisle and saw Forest leaning against the wall. She let out smoke from her mouth and held the cigarette with her fingers.
Before she would even notice me, I walked away from the building with so much thoughts of her in my mind. I always find it hard to believe when people say girls can smoke too but now, seeing her do it washes up all the doubts. I wasn't even worried that my feelings for her were gonna fade after witnessing this. I was rather worried of her health.
When Chemistry class came, Forest came in late as usual. She sat at the back of the room with no one but her bag. At this point, I wasn't even listening to our professor anymore. My attention was all on her, who was busy scribbling down her notebook. I was too curious and I know I will never get the chance to see whatever she was doing so I tried to peek but all I could see was black ink that didn't make sense from where I was looking from.
She raised her head and met my eyes.
I flashed an awkward smile and froze from my stretched neck. I raised a hand thinking it would make things better but she just frowned at me and continued scribbling down her notes. Disappointed by my failed attempt to peek through her notebook, I stretched my neck longer with the help of my now-extended leg limbs.
Just a little more... What's...
"Mr. Lee."
My heart jumped. "Ah!" I lose my balance and fell out of my seat. The cold floor ran through my veins with the pain of my sudden fall from my chair. My elbow hurt from protecting my face from hitting the floor. Human reflex is fascinating.
"Mr. Lee, what were you doing?"
I slowly got back to my seat, scratching my head in embarrassment. "Sorry Mr. Oliver. I was just… wondering how liquids are so complicated when they're mixed with other substances." I chuckled.
Mr. Oliver looked convinced with my impromptu made up wonder but he gave me a suspicious glare so I just smiled innocently. "As I was saying, when the iron…"
****
"That's all for today, class. I'll see you tomorrow."
She suddenly ripped a page from her notebook and crumpled it before throwing it down the floor for the janitor to clean up soon. My eyes widened in surprise so I immediately fixed my things and watched her pass by me to exit the room.
The odds are really supportive of my persuasion.
I ran to the back of the room and saw the paper she just threw. I bent down to grab it. And I'm glad I did because the moment I unrumpled the paper, the black ink that didn't make sense from when I was peeping now made sense. It was a drawing of a man with the face of a monster. His eyes were a bit odd as they were looking at different directions. The tongue was sticking out with a petal and it looks like he was showing a wide grin. His right hand was holding a crushing a rose with long sharp thorns and the other was surprisingly a knife.
I looked up to the door as if I'd see her there but her drawing felt like they were speaking to me. I just couldn't figure out why I was suddenly feeling uneasy the longer I stared at it. Seeing it made me feel heavy inside - almost as if I had seen the drawing before.
Why is she scribbling portraits like these?