Chereads / Loving Lisbeth Salander / Chapter 8 - The Boy and Regrets

Chapter 8 - The Boy and Regrets

Work. Sleep. Don't eat breakfast. Sleep. Not take a bath. Sleep. Not take lunch either. Sleep. Wake up. Take a quick bath. Eat dinner – dinner only. Sleep.

That was the plan. The plan was perfect until my neighbors decided to have World War IV and there's no way I'm pushing through the plan with them acting with their prides or I might kill them with my fork. Even school isn't that far from reaching another World War.

"So instead of using f cosine delta, you can use…"

Fuck.

I couldn't comprehend everything this hag was saying. I couldn't focus at all. If anything, I was more intrigued by how she's managing to stand up with those chunky heels she wear all the time. Is the drug getting to me? Shit. I can't be high in the middle of an ugly lecture about y or x fucking axis. I should master the art of sleeping with my eyes open. That'd be more convenient to use in real life than this stupid perpendicular bullshit she's been babbling about.

After the torturous Statistics class, I was about to head to the abandoned bodega to smoke when I realized I just finished my box for the week before it even reached the end of the week. I ran my tongue over my teeth in dismay as I head to the cafeteria instead.

When I got my upsetting set of meal, I walked towards the furthest table I could find that was away from people that loves talking too much. I must say, having the privilege to be a scholar in this extravagant school of rich-kids' dreams had its perks. I get to eat green balls everyday with bland soups and unflattering desserts that don't do justice to their names – I'm grateful for all that shit regardless of how terrible they taste. I still enjoy eating them when I'm hungry although that may be an overstatement. I don't enjoy them.

"Forest!"

Just when my day gets any worse. I ignored the bitch and continued stuffing my mouth with the green balls skinny people seem to enjoy.

"Forest Laken Young! I'm coming for you!"

I froze. A piece of the green ball literally fell out of my mouth. She wasn't announcing the whole school that my name had fucking Laken in it, nope. She was letting the whole world know I still have an equally disturbing second name.

My vision upfront became dimmer than seconds ago and I didn't want to look up to see Han's fucking face. I'd only imagine that she was wearing such cocky smirk for calling my full name in front of all these strangers. Not many seconds when she decided she was going to sit with me in the table and the crowd in the cafeteria started throwing faint murmurs about us. They would constantly turn their heads to our direction and something was up.

I knew something was up the moment I entered the campus this morning. Everyone would look at their stupid phones then they would point their fingers over at my direction and if it didn't happen a lot of times, I would think they weren't pertaining to me but I happened so many fucking times, I had to walk away from a huge crowd.

"You're getting a lot more popular than I thought, Lakey."

I glared at her as she across me comfortably – like she hadn't done anything to piss me off. "I told you stop calling me that." Han just got lucky that she even got the chance to lay her fingers over my ID card yesterday when we went to buy her liquor – decisions I'll forever regret.

"Everyone fucking knows now. You're like, what, everyone's talking about. Forest here, Forest there! Seriously! I should start signing up to be your fucking bodyguard or something!" she joked but I wasn't in the mood for jokes – not after what she did me.

I sighed before stretching my back up. My head and back hurts from everything I do at night and as it turns out, Oliver had just told our entire Chemistry class about my photographic memory while I was trying to sleep. How disrespectful is that? Now all these people are gonna ask me to be their friends to take advantage of that.

"Forest Laken Young, Bachelor of Geek and Nerd Stuff! Major in Memory Photography!" Memory Photography? Idiot. Han started clapping her hands like someone had been awarded with something. "If students started paying you with some candies to let them, you know, copy your answers, give me some, okay?" She playfully suggested but I wasn't gladly taking in any of her sarcastic remarks right now. I just wanted to eat, to sleep so I can get the strength I need for tonight.

"Enough!" She smirked at me but waited for me to burst more of my anger which she obviously knew coming. "I don't need to fucking hear that news every time I'm seen or near so zip your fucking mouth before I sew them for you. I don't need you people to keep reminding me how fucking stupid Oliver was for exposing me like that behind my back!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Four! Calm your tits, will you? I'm just saying that you're getting more popular than you ever did before. And it's actually positive this time! Can you imagine?" There was insult in that tone of hers and I'd strangle her now if I felt like it but everything that was happening right now was making me not to.

"Fuck off."

"You're welcome, hoe."

For some reason, Han thought it was a good idea to keep lurking near me after my break but I walked like I wasn't with her – like I didn't knew her which I technically don't. Han is Han in my eyes. Nothing else.

As I was walking by the hallway of a swarm of students, I put on a scowl look on my face as I passed by murmurs after murmurs after murmurs about how I was cheating against the system; how unfair I was, how— at this point, I could care less if they were so threatened by my photographic memory. It's not like I wanted to have it. They can all have it for fuck's sake and I wouldn't care. They're making this a big deal. Making me a big deal is a fucking mess I hate.

Han grabbed my shoulders and prompted me to stop from my tracks. I turned to her lazily waiting for what she has to say. She leaned over to my ear and whispered, "I'll see you tonight at Frank's party, a'right?" She gave me a pat by my back before walking the opposite direction. "Bye, bitch!"

"Get lost, you fucking man whore!" I yelled out of frustration – both from her and all these stupid students giving me such distressed faces.

She raised her hand in the air in confirmation and answered, "That's me!" I smirked. Man whore. At least she knows and that's what matters.

When I reached my room for the next class, I entered only to wish I never stepped inside. There he sat, the guy who made me hate school more than I did the last time I remember. I ignored the kid as much as I could but when he noticed my arrival, the guy lifts his head up with an innocent expression and as always, he sat on the table I often use. I frowned and took a different one – the furthest from where he sat so I didn't have to deal with his annoying presence.

Fuck I'm too early for this class. I fucking blame Han for this.

"Hey,"

I didn't look up to see whoever the shit it was and just ignored the speaker.

"You're here early."

So are you.

I answered in my head but still said no word so I shifted my gaze out the window in which I could see a clear view of the Science Park. When my peripheral vision upfront went back to normal, he asks, "Why aren't you sitting in the middle?"

I sighed not planning to start any conversation with the kid any time soon. I turned my head to the other side only to be welcomed by the guy's face leaning extremely close to mine. He doesn't flinch. He just stayed there, his nose almost touching mine, calmly smiling like a fool.

My heart raced before I could slap his face away from mine. He grunted in pain and he almost fell off his chair but I cared less. I hadn't realized that he already transferred his things over the table that was next to mine until he sat back down caressing the cheek that I just slapped.

"What was that for?!" he exclaimed.

I examined his face. It was a little red but he'll be fine - surely. This is the worse he could get for his precious face I bet.

"You're supposed to answer when you're being asked questions." He added.

"If you're smart, you'd know the answer to the question you just asked." I sighed and pulled out a notebook, my only notebook really, and a pen to go with it just to show him I got things better to do than speak with him.

"I meant my first question." He corrected which was a little discomforting. It always felt that way whenever he does that. "You slapped me because I was too close. That's pretty reasonable."

"Well you're too close." I pretended to make myself look busy by scribbling inanimate objects in my notebook.

He suddenly popped in front of me and sat across the table I was sitting on. He flashed a wide smile at me and I just stared with my creased brows confused of what the fuck what happening before my eyes. He looked like a fucking dog.

I slammed my palms over the table and he jumped from his seat in fright. "Leave me alone!" I exclaimed in fury. "I'm not interested in whatever you're fantasizing," I emphasized and he doesn't seem affected at all. "So let me be and we'll have no problems."

He shook his head. "I will stay away only if you say my name right in one try."

"Fuck." I mumbled. Fuck. What was it again? FUCK. Well, clearly, it wasn't Fuck. My only chance to get away with this kid and I'm blowing it off like I was trying to convince him to keep doing it. "Mack."

He laughed hysterically tapping his palms over his lap. I could have fucking sworn that it was his name but the way he was laughing gave it away. It ain't Mack alright. "Mark." He said in slow motion. As if that was going to make me remember it. "It's Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark!"

"Look." I glared at the stupid fucking kid who can't seem to find a better job than annoy me which congrats to him, he's doing pretty well at it. "What made you think I'd remember your fucking name when I don't even give a shit about other people? Why don't you just fucking leave me alone and not make me do things I'll regret."

"I can't." The fuck does this guy mean. He can just not talk to me the way he never did before. That should be easy considering that he never really paid so much attention to me weeks ago. "I just can't not try and be your friend just because you're pushing me away. I can't do that." He shook his head. "Otherwise I'll have to live in regret for not taking the chances I didn't take."

I gulped. Live in regret for not taking the chances I didn't take.

"I'm sorry. I know you always hate it when you're told about things like these."

I squinted my eyes barely noticeable and I felt my fingers flinched a little at what he said. I was taken aback. I've never heard someone talk about something with so much passion – never had a conversation with someone that made sense. For once, it was refreshing to hear someone put so much thought in what they say.

He must have noticed how speechless I was because he spoke again. Only this time, he asked me something I never thought someone would even ask. "Do you perhaps know why people regret?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak at the moment.

"They say regrets come out as mistakes and wrong decisions in life. Well, for one, regrets are mistakes but I think people only regret because they're guilty of not being able to do something at their best."

I feel my lips part as I completely froze form my post. Guilty of not being able to do something at their best. But he wasn't all right. Regrets aren't even mistakes. Regrets are mistaken as mistakes when really, they're feelings a person would feel when they know they did something wrong.

"Look alive, class! We're having a quiz after the lecture so better listen." Oliver walked inside the room and the other students from this class, ran inside to take their seats.

The guy took his things to the table in front of me and smiles at me before he turned to the front – to where Oliver was fixing the projectors for the lecture. Mark. Well, I'll make sure I remember that name in case you use it against me again.

I took my pen and started scribbling the kid in my notebook. I drew an off shape circle before I drew in ugly sunken cheeks and sharp jawlines. Then I drew his check shaped crooked brows with his tiny Asian eyes. Then his thin lips that were just popping out from his sunken face structure. His hair, I just stoke strands that covered his entire forehead as it seemed like it was his natural hair. I wrote down M-A-R-K just below the sketch and smirked as I stared at my masterpiece. I actually looked like him.

"Don't worry, class. The exam will be easy as pie!" Oliver announced and the students obviously didn't believe him. Oliver never gives an easy test and everyone knew that. "I'm gonna need you to explain concepts and theories so you better keep those ears open today so you don't get a zero! Oh and," He paused in suspense. "You just have to answer one question." At that, the students roared bitter complains for we all expected for the quiz to be orally taken. "Before I forget, could you all be kind enough to bring out a sheet of paper for a quiz from yesterday's lesson." Oliver flashed a wicked smile making the class grunt louder.

The whole class cried in misery. They were screwed of course. Oliver loved pop quizzes that's why I always try to picture every slide he shows for the class. Except when I really need some sleep. I depend on my stock knowledge most times when that happens. I had my fair share of advantages with my photographic memory. Sucks on them for not having it.

I sat watching everyone toggle with their bags to bring out their pens and papers. Fucking surprise tests are the worse.

"That's what you get when you just attend your class for attendance, my dear students!" Oliver laughed like a demon. I didn't know why they called me a demon when the real demon was standing before them. "Next time, maybe you should actually pay attention during class." He eyed everyone who probably flunks every exam.

"I know you're smart but don't slack off during the exam." Mark turned to me and handed me a piece of paper and a pen although I already have one. "I'm offering you a deal, Forest." Fucking Mack. "If I beat you today, you'll have to buy me a watermelon and you will not complain of me sitting close to you." F-Fucking watermelon? "Sealed. Great."

What made this guy think I'm going to lose to him? Did he fucking forget that I have photographic memory? Once it's there, it's there forever. Fuck this kid who doesn't even know what he's on about – always trying to act so strong-willed but he's just a fucking wimp. "And you're never gonna talk to me ever again if you don't."

"Deal."

What the fuck did I just get myself into? And what am I scared for? I'm going to beat his ass. Everyone knows I nail chemistry so there was no way he was going to beat me off a stupid pop quiz.

After the exam, I never felt so energized. A part of my energy comes from the relief I feel for finally getting rid of this Mark not Mack guy. Now I just have to wait 'till morning before he's finally out of my sight forever.

Getting sleepy during classes is only a natural reaction students are allowed to feel especially if the teacher's fucking discussing like an old turtle. I was about to step out when Mark blocks my way and flashes his monkey smile. I glared at him scrunching the strap of my bag, tempted to take down this kid once and for all. But I knew I only had this day to control my anger towards him. After today, everything will be back to normal.

"Let's head to the front together."

I snorted and said, "No." before hitting his shoulders with mine on purpose as I walked pass him.

"But you're going home right?" Fuck. He caught up pretty smoothly. He should be working his way to the sprinting job and not annoy me every time he gets the chance. "And I'm going home too. I don't see why we can't."

I stopped from my tracks and turned to him, my body weight heavily concentrated to the right. "Because I don't fucking want to walk with fucking God's messenger's son!" I raised my hands in the air and let them fall down.

He blinked but I rolled my eyes and continued walking away despite the uncomfortable stares that I've been getting from being seen with this stupid kid. "Wh— But why? I mean, I can just walk with you even if you throw me off. It's not really your position to—"

"HEY!" I exclaimed unable to contain my anger any longer. "I don't need to hear you talk about fucking authority okay? I know that shit! You don't have to fucking tell me! You can follow me anywhere I want for fuck's sake. Just don't fucking talk to me!"

"Because talking makes you tired right?" He smiled like he wasn't, a bit, scared of the tone of my voice, of the way my eyes stared, of how I am – and that was frustrating.

I sneered at the guy and marched away, completely ignoring the fact that I could sense that he was trailing my tracks.

When my phone rang, I turned to see if Mark was around, and he wasn't fortunately. I walked down the narrow alley between two separate buildings pulling my phone out of my bag. As soon as I saw the name of the caller, I rolled my eyes and debated whether or not I should take the call. I didn't want to make this day worse than it already did. "What?" I answered the call anyway. I needed to hear what she was going to say no matter how much I hated the bitch.

"I already sent the money."

I felt my jaws tighten as I hear the news. "You don't have to call to tell me that you steal ninety percent of our money to buy Garnet all the shit she doesn't even need." I wasn't even talking to this woman face to face but my anger is at its peak. I wanted to get a hold of her fucking neck so I could strangle her to death.

"And if you keep talking to me like that, I swear to fucking God I'm stealing a hundred percent."

I scoffed in disblief. She's not even denying the crimes she's committing. I can't believe this shitty woman. "I can buy our own food." I pressed to annoy her more. "Keep the fucking money to yourself, you gold digging hoe."

"So buy your poor sister some food on your own if you're so proud."

"Don't you fucking dare call her that." I balled my fist. If I don't stop this anger, I might end up beating the walls with my bare hands and that won't do me good right now – not under this circumstance.

"You're lucky I'm still giving your ass some money to feed your sister. You'd be dead if I didn't."

I scowled. I was heating up and my body even feels it. "So what, I'm supposed to thank you now?!" I yelled in anger. "How could you fucking say that to me Elisse! You fucking useless piece of shit! You're nothing without our money! Do you need me to fucking remind you that every fucking day?!" My throat felt hoarse. I was pouring out all my anger towards this woman and I'm glad I bottled up my angst up 'till now so I could yell at her this much.

"Shut up. You and I both know you wouldn't have survived your early years without me."

"Barely!" I immediately replied. "You let him do th—" My heart ached. I couldn't bring myself to voice that out no matter how angry I was. "You're lucky I'm keeping my mouth shut. Fuck you and your money." With that, I end the call and almost threw my phone down the ground. Good thing my senses came back before I start banging on to everything I can throw in this alley. That bitch better sent the fucking money she promised or I'm killing her with my own hands.

The next day, as soon as I reached my Chemistry class, monkey Mark showed up with the same shitty monkey smile on his fucking face. It wasn't a great face to end the day and it never has been ever since I was transferred to this class. Fucking Marco.

"Hi, Forest!" He greeted but I rolled my eyes to take the furthest seat from him. After yesterday, the least he can do is to see how pissed I am right now and that I didn't need more of his annoying self to make it any worse.

I sat down, dropped my bag down the floor and crouched low to rest my head over my arms by the table. I closed my eyes and realized how tired I was for not getting to sleep for two days straight. Just when I was about to drift off to dreamland, I felt a light nudge over my back.

I didn't want to let it get to me but he kept poking me and I wasn't going to not get my sleep today. I pulled back from my sleeping position, turned my head to find Mark and I was ready to give him the life lesson to never mess with someone who hasn't slept for two days. He flashed a nervous smile before I could hit his face for the second time.

He grinned and waved his stupid hands in the air like he was straight up from a children's show – High5 for example. "Hello,"

I gritted my teeth trying to fight the urge of throwing my fist over his other cheek.

"So how was your day? Mine was very tiresome. I had so much to do during my vacant class. I can't even call it that anymore. Can you imagine? Vacant and you're doing an awful amount of duties you aren't even supposed to do?"

It's only a matter of words now before I actually drag my hands over his cheeks and I'm not so sure I'd want to face the consequences. I'm not sure I'm willing to accept these consequences just because of this kid. In my head, I was mentally pulling my hair out in frustration.

"You know, I don't understand why people—"

"Good afternoon, class! I'm announcing the scores today from yesterday's exam – both exams."

Saved by the fucking teacher.

Mark slowly went back to his seat wearing a disappointed face. Serves him right. I didn't even bother to look at Oliver and how he'd set up the projector anymore because I was too tired. I closed my eyes and only prayed to receive the sleep I've longed for the last two days.

"Coming in first!"

I didn't have to worry because I know it would be me. Who else would nail Chemistry if not me? Mark should know by now that he failed his attempt to get me to start being friendly with him by proposing the stupid deal. In the first place, he would have known that he won't beat me in this class but he still went for it. Props to his bravery but for now – sleep.

"None other than, Forest Young." And there goes my name.

The loud ringing of the school bell woke me up. I sighed before I rose from my table. I stretched out my arms in relaxation. The two hour sleep was worth the two day no-sleep and now, I don't have to worry about that Mark guy working his way up to annoy me because I won. I fucking won.

I bent down to grab my bag and just when I was about to stand up, someone tapped me on the back. I turned and saw him with a rather brighter smile. I frowned in confusion. I should take it easy on this guy. I've had my sleep and I feel good. I don't want that ruined just because the kid maybe just wanted to say his final words before he finally leaves me alone.

"Going home?"

That's definitely not a good bye.

I creased my brows. "I beat you. Get the fuck out of my face." I hissed and pushed him away after I wrapped my bag around my chest but he came back to my side and scratched his head as I stepped out of the room.

"I know. Congrats! You're really awesome." I heard him clap his hands like a penguin.

So go the fuck away and never talk to me again like what we agreed upon.

"But I'm not never going to talk to you if you're wondering."

My eyes squinted at what I just fucking heard which made me stop walking. This dipshit played me. I turned around to face the guy who didn't seem to be shaken by my very presence. I must admit, he stuck through longer than I thought. He was a lot persistent than I imagined. "You better not be serious right now."

He smiled. "I am serious."

This bitch really fucking played me. Fuck this kid. "Go to fucking hell."

"It really is so hard to understand someone when you're only hypothetical of everything." He chuckled. He talks like he's a part of Einstein's group in a lab. "But I really am breaking the deal with or without your consent."

I don't even fucking understand where this conversation is headed. I'd only be wasting my energy if I insist he stopped and I didn't want to drain my two hour sleep because of this kid. If he breaks the deal, so be it. Fuck him.

"Call me any name you want. I probably deserve it under normal circumstances." He shrugged and just looked at me like a fucking creep. "I should be a man of my words. It's stereotype." I gritted my teeth in anger. I don't even know why I'm still standing here for. Maybe a part of me wanted to hear more of what he has to say out of curiosity. "You said you hate it. The typical guys you've met. So I won't be a man of my words. I'll still talk to you whenever I want. I won't be the same like the guys you met before."

Fucking great. I created a fucking monster.