"Hey! Mark!"
I turned my head, not so curious of who it was because I knew it would be Haechan and I was right. I saw him running towards me so I wait for him to reach me. I don't know what he was running for. It wasn't late for him to run this much. As a matter of fact, we were always early and punctual when comes to first classes.
When he reached me, I almost wanted to go buy him some water. He panted hard as he leaned against my shoulder tired. "Slow down. I won't run away from you even if you told me many times how much you hate me." I laughed at him who was trying to catch his breath. I assume he just wanted us to walk together to school. "Deep breaths."
"I swear, I'm going to end up like this every morning if I don't get up early."
I smiled and turned to him with a brilliant idea. "It's good right?" He flashed a questioning look. "You get to lose some fats!" I teased and he gave me a small punch by the stomach. I laughed at this and he kept a salty face.
"I'm not that fat." He objected with a pout.
"I was messing with you." I chuckled. "It's only seven thirty. You're fine." I assured my friend but he still doesn't look too happy. The way he was fixing his bag, that didn't look like it wasn't hanging by his back the way it should, was very aggressive.
"Who in their right minds would schedule an eight o'clock class?!" He complained and all I could do was laugh. Apparently, he wasn't a fond of the early classes. All nine o'clock classes were taken fast during the enrolment unfortunately. "Who, honestly, wakes up at six just to prepare for the stupid eight o'clock classes?" he complained more.
I shrugged and I couldn't help but wander around in hopes to see a certain someone but to no avail, she was nowhere to be seen.
"I know I don't and those who actually do," Haechan added. "They're all losers."
"So I'm a loser?" I asked laughing out loud.
He frowned at this. He might have had a bad morning – I'm guessing burnt bacon if not perfectly cooked sunny side up eggs. "You're too good to be true." He squinted his eyes at me. "That's why no one likes you because you're too perfect it's almost a sore in the eye." His shoulders moved in a weird way, the kind that goes up when you say cringy stuff.
I smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment."
After our first class, I was so eager to get to the cafeteria just so I can talk to Forest again but I was surprised to see Connie standing outside the room instead and I wasn't so pleased. I looked at her surprised and she looks up to me. I felt awkward. I didn't want to show her I was disappointed that she was there because it'd hurt her feelings.
I don't exactly know how to approach someone I know except when it's Four – and Haechan, I guess. I, for some reason, just get up to her and say the most random things which was unusual. I don't normally talk so much in front of girls because they look fragile and sensitive in my eyes.
"Mark,"
"Hi, Connie." I finally said. I felt my knees shake and I'd only hope that they didn't reach my vocal chords. "What brings you here?" Then I remembered. "Oh, were you waiting for your friends?" I asked and she shakes her head. "Boyfriend?" She shook her head again and I tried to hide the shock in my face at the idea that she might be waiting for her— "Girlfriend?"
"No, silly!"
That's a relief, I guess. My face relaxed a little. It'd be a waste if she was attracted to a she. I mean, I've always teased Haechan with her so I guess I want them for each other. "So what really brings you here then?" I asked again.
"I came here for you."
This time, I was just as shocked as I am with the thought of her being a lesbian. "Me? Why? Is there something I can help you with?" I knew she liked me before but I assume by now that she have already moved on from those feelings and maybe I thought wrong. She doesn't like she moved on from anything. She's being shy and blushing like a tomato. It's cute but cute just isn't… well, hitting me with those sparks.
"N-No. I just wanted to know if you wanted to eat lunch with me today."
Oh no. I pressed my lips together in pressure. I didn't want to turn her down but I didn't want to not see Forest today either. I would hate to admit that Connie was ruining the only time I longed for this whole morning. "Well," I looked away with a heavy heart. "Okay, yeah." I answered a little hesitant. "Sure."
Just like that, I ended up walking towards the cafeteria with Connie and the moment we both sat across each other in one table, eyes turned with small audible whispers. It felt uncomfortable. I didn't hate Connie. I hate the attention that was poured to her and everything she gets involved with becomes a big deal – and well, while I wasn't ready to be a big deal, all mind could think of was Forest. I am used to the small attention I've had from a few girls and that alone makes me feel uncomfortable, but the level of attention Connie gets was a different level considering that our school's population was mostly made up of males.
Connie is a very well-known student. Boys swoon over her beauty and for some reason, girls idolize her too – or maybe they just feel envious of her but nonetheless, I'm not one of those guys who were captivated by physical looks. She looked pretty average in my eyes. Her beauty was the norm. I don't see anything special in her the way I look at Forest.
I couldn't bring a food to my mouth. I was too disturbed by the many stares that were surrounding us – that includes Connie's odd way of eating. It was like she was having a tea with the queen of how proper she looked. It was unexplainable. "How have you been, Mark?" she suddenly asked.
The sound of her voice made me flinch. Everything inside me, I felt them clench. "Oh, well," I looked around, unsure of what I should say even. "The usual. I'm good, and you?"
She stopped slicing her bread (yes, she was slicing her bread like a princess) before she looked up to me and smiled. "I'm good too."
And just like every awkward conversation, I was sure it was going to end there. I didn't want to have more conversations with her but I didn't want to have such awkward meal either. I was so confused with my thoughts whenever I'm with Connie. I feel like I'm doing something wrong that's right but something right that feels wrong.
"Don't feel so tensed, Mark." Tensed? "Everyone knows I like you and you turned me down so no need to feel like this." I gulped. That came out of her mouth like it was nothing. "I should be the one feeling uneasy. I just wanted things to get back to how things were before I confessed. You know, being friends."
"Of course!" The last thing I wanted was to talk about that horrifying memory we both have. "I just don't want—"
"You're not, Mark." She chuckled.
"I don't like the idea of you having false assumptions of my intentions." I said.
She looked at me as if she had just heard the meanest words as her smile slowly fades into her normal pouty lips. "I can see your intensions clearly Mark." She nodded, her poise not budged. "You don't have to explain yourself. I get it. You don't like me."
I looked down in guilt. Sometimes I wonder why Connie even liked me. I wasn't buff like other guys, I wasn't that handsome. No matter how true it was, it didn't felt right hearing it from someone you turned down. "It's not that I don't like you, Connie. I just really think you deserve someone better. Someone who is equally—"
"So how was your day so far?"
I froze a little surprised by her sudden shift. I watched her take a bite off her bread from the fork. "I-It's good, I guess."
****
"So you were with Connie a while ago."
I sighed. The memory of her sharing the same table as me still terrifies me. I've never felt so distressed. "Don't remind me that. It's really," I paused and realized I couldn't think of any adverb that can go with what I experienced. "Well, it didn't turn out great." I gave up and added, "Everything's just too awkward with her – she's awkward; I'm awkward." It's just not the same. "We're both awkward so it's never going to work with her." The energy flow I get with Forest is not anything like that. For some reason, Forest gives me this energy boost that enables me to be so confident around her.
"Connie's everyone's dream girl and here you are, telling me she's not great enough for you?" Haechan questioned in disbelief. "Complaining that she's awkward, even!"
"I wasn't complaining." I corrected and squinted my eyes the moment I just realized I kind of was complaining but I didn't want to take back what I said about not complaining otherwise I'm guilty – which I absolutely am. "I was just saying."
He scowled at me. "It still comes off like that now, does it?"
I sighed, guilty as he said. I couldn't stop feeling so clenched in cringe. Every time I close my eyes, I could imagine how awkward that lunch break turned out. I can never imagine myself with girls like Connie – so fragile and delicate for reckless hands like mine.
"Because you're so mad in love with a demon."
I frowned, diverting my attention back to Haechan. The small chance of talking about Forest wakes up my dying soul. "And what's wrong with that?" I genuinely asked. I never understood why people hated the idea of demons. They're all things bad but once in a while, don't we all need to learn to love the things that are bad to embrace our true self?
"She's greed, lust, sloth, pride—"
I laughed and he stopped enumerating the other three sins. "She can't be every sin, Haechan."
He crossed his arms. "She already is." I stared at him trying to get him to say more to defend his claim. "Wrath, always a mad dog around other students. Greedy, she's always sleeping in class knowing that everyone stays up late for requirements too. Sloth, I mean," He made a gesture that tells me how obvious it was it didn't need some explanation. "Envy, she's probably praying she was someone else right now. Lust, she loves parties and we all know what happens there." I laughed. He's really takes pride in making himself sound right all the time.
"You don't know that." I shook my head in disapproval. "You can't prove your claims unless you have evidence of it all." He looked away. 'Aren't you being a sin right now for judging someone you don't know?"
He was quiet because he knew I was right.
"What if everything you just said about her isn't true? I'm not sure you're willing to accept your mistake." I chuckled, imagining Haechan tomato red after finding out that everything he had said about her were nothing but lies.
"A human can't be with a demon. I rest my case. No further explanations." He pressed.
I laughed harder. The fact that he was so dedicated to change her being to a demon was hilarious. She was obviously not a demon. If she did, she wouldn't have saved me that night but she did. No demon is capable of anything good. That's why they're demons in the first place. If she turns out to be a demon, only then I'll accept my defeat.
"Aren't you embarrassed for rejecting Connie?" He asked.
I sighed. We've had this conversation many times already. Haechan seems to enjoy me telling him that I was sure that I didn't like her so he can have a shot on her which I don't really mind. I want Haechan for Connie and I wish it was them in the end but considering the circumstances, it might be a while before Connie starts to accept that I wasn't really going to like her despite her hard efforts to show me that she still likes me. "Even before I haven't met Forest, I never liked Connie. I've told you many times, Haechan. She doesn't have an effect on me – not one small spark."
He grunted and looked away frustrated. He'd always push me to like her but I can tell he was happy deep inside because he knew we wouldn't fight for one girl and ruin our unusual friendship. "Whatever. Don't come cry in front of me if something happens to you because of that Luci girl demon."
"What else are you gonna call her?" I tilted my head towards Haechan with a crooked smile. I was actually curious this time. I can't ask for a better way to spend our time in the room waiting for Mr. Oliver.
"Let me think." He tapped his chin with his index finger trying to make himself look like he was actually thinking of names to call her. Then he turned to me. "Off limits. Falling Debris. Danger zone."
I burst into laughter. It was the way he formed a rainbow with his palms in the air that made it much funnier. "She's not a construction site."
"Is she not?"
A construction site.
Sometimes Haechan comes up with the most creative things. As Haechan kept babbling about what and whatnot Forest was, I hear someone ask, "Are you coming tonight? At Jack's party?"
"Jack throws the best parties. For sure, I'm going!"
My head voluntarily turned to the table from where the conversation was made surprised that my ears were suddenly capable of hearing even the most inaudible things. I didn't know the group of boys that were circled together as they speak but she was likely like them. Party?
My forehead scrunched into a frown as I tried to picture the different scenarios that could happen to me if I attended another party. If I attended a party and learn the beauty in it, would I appreciate the world Forest is exposed to? Are we supposed to appreciate those type of living even? Questions started flooding my head and I wasn't sure how to answer them all.
There's a huge chance that Forest will be there if Haechan was right with his claim that she parties all the time but that doesn't guarantee Forest's attendance to that party. Whatever I looked must have been obvious for Haechan to stop talking because he flashes a concerned look – the type that wasn't ready to hear what bad news I had stored in my head.
I smiled and looked up to him as I try to come up with a bribe for him. "Haechan—"
"No." He immediately cut me off as if he'd already known what I was about to say. Cut off or not, I was ready to hear him decline but I wasn't going to give up and I'm sure he knew that as well. "Whatever you're thinking of doing," I pouted. "Count. Me. Out." Ouch.
"I was going to ask for," I shouldn't come off as hesitant otherwise my plan fails. "Help with Science." I put on a sad face. Haechan knew I miss out on a lot of Science. I wasn't a fan of Science so it would seem believable. "We're having a quiz tomorrow. Astronomy."
"Oh." Haechan's just too gullible, it's cute.
"I'll come get you by six." I offered and he doesn't seem to be fazed by my sudden invitation of a group study. I was just thankful that he didn't catch on to my lies because if he did, I would have failed. "Let's work at my place."
He raised a brow, his arms crossed seemingly suspicious of how I was acting but I pushed through. It was too late to back out and if I did, it would only make things worse between the two of us. "Okay?" He answered unsure.
I gave him an innocent nod and a daring smile hoping to get away with it. My heart raced. I didn't want Haechan to say no and I wouldn't be able to survive that party without him by my side. I had to do whatever it takes to make him say yes.
"Your mom better make cookies or you can kiss Science good bye."
I laughed in relief. For a moment, I thought he caught me by my lies but he didn't. "I'm calling her right now." At that, I walked away from him pretending to call my mom after pretending to dial her number. The odds are very fond of me and I'm grateful for that.
****
"Why are we stopping at a stranger's house?"
By the time I was pulling over to park across this Jack person's house, Haechan must have known this wasn't going to be the group study he'd hopes for. I flashed a nervous smile as I slowly turned to him after turning the engine off. His eyes were fixated on the house that was flashing colored lights, with people scattered all over the lawn, tissue papers thrown off in different directions by the porch.
"Why is it so loud? And why are there so many people? Why are they holding red cups? Why am I seeing a couple making out by the bush?"
I pressed my lips together as I stared at those he just mentioned. The lights from my car were turned off as I stopped the engine seconds ago. Haechan's face was stiff. He looked like was about to burst but I'd only hope for the best out of this. We've come this far.
His head slowly turned to me, the first time he's actually turning my way ever since we were driving to a different street. "This looks nothing like your house."
I turned to him with a sly grin. "We're seniors. We should at least experience—"
"Are you serious?!" Haechan shouted which frightened me. "Last time I checked, I agreed on a study group not a freaking," He pointed at the house in front of us in frustration. "Whatever this is!" he looked mortified and I was terrified. This is the death of our friendship.
"I'm sorry! Let's just enjoy this one night. I promise! It's never gonna happen ever again! Just this one time." I grabbed his shoulder shaking them lightly like it was something that would make him get out of my car and attend the party with me. "Please?"
He frowned, his jaws even tighter than how I remembered. "You lied! You little fraud!" He finally screams. I'd guess he's been bottling that up for minutes and for him to yell at me like this must feel well. "Why would you— How— I'm out of words. Wow." He rested his head over the window pane full of dismay.
"I'm sorry! I didn't know how to invite you here. Lying was my only option." I shrugged but he doesn't budge from his position. He was pissed alright. "Would you have come with me if I told you about it in the first place?"
"OF COURSE NOT!"
"See!" I defended. Every time he yelled, I could see veins piercing through his skin by the forehead. "Can't you just do this one thing for me? Just this time, Haechan. I promise I won't drag you into this ever again." I plead and he just looks at me in disgrace. I can tell, just by looking at his face, that he was beyond angry by what I just did but what's done is done and I really wanted to do this so might as well just go for it.
"I can't believe you're doing this for that stupid Seraphina."
I didn't even know why I think it would be a great opportunity for me to learn Forest's night life by coming to this party that give me no guarantee of seeing her here – let alone bringing Haechan with me.
"If you don't do my essays and research papers for the rest of your life, you can forget we were ever friends."
At that, we both got out of the car to head inside the house. I was excited to be in this party for the first time. My first memory of a party wasn't really pleasing but I'm glad it happened nonetheless. The party was everything like I remembered from before. Loud music, loud people, awful smell – it was still terrible.
Every now and then, I would hear Haechan constantly complain about the strong smell of liquor lingering all over the place and I don't blame him because the smell really is strong. If anything, it was worse than the last party I've attended. We walked around the house that appeared more like a club now than a home. Broken pieces of vases were scattered all over the beautifully designed carpet, liquor stained the exquisite wooden tables – the place was awful.
As we walked, people would bump into us and give us weird glares but that didn't stop me from dragging Haechan to keep scanning the place. I almost felt guilty for having him here with me because I knew how sensitive he was with cleanliness and hygiene. I was starting to worry when I couldn't spot Forest's striking red hair.
"Have you seen her?!" I yelled over at Haechan's ear making sure he'd hear what I was saying from all the loud noise.
"NO!" he yelled back and with every step we take; the louder the music goes, the more it reached my heart as it beats with the rhythm of the music blasting through the huge speakers. "I'm not looking for her so I wouldn't know!" He added rolling his eyes. "Why do you have to come here and look for her?! It's not like she's even interested in you!"
For a moment, I felt a little sad that I was hearing this truth but for the most part, I was sad because I think my friend was right about that. Forest never showed me any sign of interest and it hurts my pride to accept this. "I have to adapt to her environment!" What if she didn't attend this party? Did I just waste my time? Did I risk losing my friendship with the only friend I have for nothing?
"You're crazy!"
Forest!
My heart felt like it had been shocked by an ECG. I was sure my excitement showed over my face because Haechan lets out a grunt. I extend my neck upward to get a clear view of the path she was taking and all these people were making it hard for me as they kept pushing me here and there. "I have to try!" I yelled over at Haechan still trying to keep my vision fixated on her red hair.
I didn't know how many people I actually shove to clear a path I can walk right through but my moral senses weren't working right now. These people who were keeping me from getting closer to her were the least of my concerns. They were drunk students who didn't even care about themselves anymore so I figured why should I? On top of that, they won't remember me pushing them away after they wake up from this miserable night they just had.
I scanned for the room but I couldn't see her anymore. Where did she go? I was sure I kept my eyes fixated on her but she disappeared. My head was starting to ache from all this loud music and terrible smell. "I think I saw her go that way!" Before I could even take a step, Haechan stopped me by the arms and gives me a genuine concerned look.
"She's doesn't even care that you exist!"
I stared at him and immediately understood where he was going with it. It's sad to be reminded by that all the time but I didn't want to remember me not trying. "I know but," I paused and turned back hoping I would see her but I didn't and just saw a bunch of students drunk dancing with people who were equally drunk. "You know I don't give up without any fight." I lost her. "I'll go look for her!" I screamed.
"What?!"
I pointed outside and leaned back to his ear. "I'll just go there! After I see her, we'll go! I promise!" I walked away from my friend, who didn't look like he took it well, and headed to what looked like an outdoor space of the house. I looked around and everyone were holding their phones up to one direction. I followed their line of vision and saw a girl floating over the pool.
I froze. "Help! He—" The girl looked like she was struggling. "Hel—" She was coming up and down from the water, and despite her shortage of breath, she was still trying to say the word 'help'. I looked around – everyone was just laughing at this scenario and I realized I had to do something before the girl drowns – and I'd be late now too if I didn't—
"Holy shit, is that Forest Young?"
I heard a loud splash behind me and before I knew it, she was already there.
"Wait. Let me film this. Oh shit."
Forest. There's no mistaking her. Her hair still screamed red even when damped, her black outfit was too familiar in the eyes of the public. I stopped and watched her swim to the poor girl that was almost out of breath. She looked like she could be a swimmer for an Olympic but that wasn't the problem I should be thinking right now.
When Forest had the girl wrapped around her arm, she swam back to the edge of the pool with a little struggle. I quickly ran towards where she just pulled the girl up from the pool and rested the poor girl's head over my lap. "Are you okay?" The girl kept coughing, pounding her chest with her fist. My pants and the lower part of my shirt had already been soaked by the girl but none of it mattered to me.
I looked back up and saw Forest heading towards a group of people who still were finding things amusing. I recognized the guy. I write about him for our school paper almost every issue because he is the captain of the football team, James Cardin.
Forest stopped in front of James. Her fists weren't balled, they were much relaxed than I expected and I was aware of the opposite psychology. I was scared that she might do something terrible if I don't stop her right now but I couldn't just leave someone who was almost drowned.
My head turned to see if there was someone who would be kind enough to put a stop to this but everyone looked like they were enjoying this type of show. Amusement was painted all over their faces and this opened my eyes to the world of people who lived this way. It was a lot darker than I imagined.
Forest stood across the guy dripping wet, strands of hair falling all over her face, before she lands a hand over James' shoulder. The guy was obviously overwhelmed by her sudden heroism so when she squeezed his shoulder tighter, he flashes a small grunt. It looked painful. The way his body was now tilted to the left confirms my thought.
"The next time I see you push a girl who can't swim in an eight feet pool, you'll be living dickless." That same moment she said – that – she pushed James' body down and pulled her legs up to knee his groin.
"AH!" James exclaimed, crouching down with his hands wrapped around his crotch.
The crowd gasped in horror while some managed to pull off the classic oohs and ahhs.
"You bitch!" James yelped when people started laughing at what just happened. Forest had already turned her back to walk away but I didn't want to end this night with a stranger in my lap. I looked down and the girl seemed to be catching her breath back. She crouches away from me with small coughs so I stood with my completely drenched pants and ran after Forest.
When I saw her, she was twisting her hair into knots leaving traces of water drops all over the dry carpet. I heard her mumble but I couldn't make out of the words I just heard from her. "Demons don't have the compassion to save lives." I mumbled.
She stopped walking but she doesn't turn. She probably guessed by now that it was me, annoying her again. The carpet we were stepping on was starting to get drenched by her wet self but we both didn't care. People who party to different houses would feel the same, I bet. Finally, she turns to me with her usual lousy self, shoulders sagged like they carried the heaviest of the heaviest rock on Earth. "What the fuck are you doing here?" she asked in a colder tone than she usually had.
"I was trying to find you and I really wanted to experience the lifesty—"
"Just fucking go home before you end up like that girl." She turned away from me and headed to the kitchen. Her tone felt different – or so my mind wants me to believe. She didn't sound mad or angry – there was no angst in the way she said it. She sounded genuinely caring and worried for me and I was glad it translated to me that way because it made me smile.
She turned to the counter behind her to grab a red cup before walking towards the cooler to grab a bottle of beer. I suddenly wondered if she ever gets drunk. She doesn't look sick after a drink so maybe drinking much was already one of her many talents. She threw the red cup she had and took the bottle's lid off expertly with the edge of the counter. She tipped the bottle upside down from her mouth and gulped like a professional.
She let out a loud burp after about ten gulps and sighed in delight.
I smiled. She must have thought I was already gone because she spaced out, like she was deep in thoughts that were bothering her. A normal person would do the same so I was glad I get to see this Forest. The Forest that isn't creasing her brows, the one that wasn't temperamental all the time. I'd ask what's wrong but I felt her need of aloneness and I wasn't going to take that away from her.
I took my jacket off and I walked closer to where she leaned comfortably and handed her my jacket with a comforting smile, if I do say so myself. "Take this. It won't be much of a help but it'll keep you warm at least."
She finally frowned.
I didn't really think she'd take it from me so I wrapped the jacket around her shoulder instead and took a step back to say "Get home safe, Four." with a smile and I left.