It was during it the first year of my high school.
I had a super over protective father due to which I never had experience with boys. I was home schooled and during middle school I went to a high class English Girls Boarding school in the North District.
I begged to mom to let me go to a co-ed school back here in East District. She agreed and even convinced Dad.
The school was still Private and Boardind but I got permission to be a day scholar, due to my health.
One day I decided I will stay in the hostel just for one night when my parents were out of town.
That night my roommate snuck out in the middle of the night. I followed her and saw her meet a boy.
They kissed and she looked very happy.
Soon I found out many girl and boys together. They were like couples in books I read.
Some were inseparable, some were too much focused on what other thought about them, some were sad, some were cute, some were funny and some were scary. There were many couples.
I wanted to have that experience, but people would run away whenever I tried to approach them.
One day I heard some girls saying that I am scary and dense. They even said, "She is a type of a girl who you just hang out due to pity."
"I hate her."
"One time I saw her staring at a couple for over an hour. "
"Creepy."
"No wonder everyone hates her. "
"She is too desperate."
"I even hate how she looks. "
"I heard she is into girls!"
"Eww!"
"She only talks with boys."
"Slut!"
There were some words even worse. Days later I heard many girls saying the same things.
I had no idea how those controversies started but ever since I started feeling uneasy.
I became awkward people. I ended up vomiting in top of a teacher when she asked me to answer one question. I knew the answer but I couldn't speak.
My health was getting worse and worse. and I was hospitalized for a month.
I returned to school to school but my fear of people still remained.
Again I overheard boys speaking
" she is very weird."
"I heard she puked on top of a teacher."
"She is pretty but creepy."
"I heards some girls saying that she is a stalker."
"I heard she has a sugar daddy."
I started fearing people. I feared people so much that I was scared of my own parents.
I stayed at my favourite place. The library filled with books. A place where there were lies about how boys were gentlemen and girls were kind.
Those were lies. The books were lies. Then I stumbled across another book. A strange book.
The book only I could read. Other people couldn't see what was inside the book.
As I read the book. I came across a character. A character who shared the name as me, the same disease as me, went to same school as mine, same class even the classmates were same.
The character was Byun Ye Ji, the characters was me.
That day I realised that I was a character inside a novel and no, I wasn't the main lead.
As I read further, I read my own death. I read that I was going to die while saving the main lead. I didn't want that.
In the end before I met the main leads I left the school. I ran away, but my life was never the same. I still feared people.
That's how I realised that I will end up alone with my cat for the rest of my life, but my cat ended up dying as well. I will end up my life alone.