Alejandro travels through his imaginary vision. He met a lot of people in his journey and we would most likely tell me about them. More often that not, I always get irritated whenever he kept on bugging me.
It took me years to understand him. During those times, pinagsasabihan ko siyang kumawala sa selda niya sa utak, kasi hindi naman totoo ang mga bagay nandoon; lahat ng lugar, bagay, pakiramdam, at iba't-ibang nilalang na nakikita n'ya ay gawa-gawa lang malikot n'yang pag-iisip.
Napaka-selfish ko for not understanding him immediately. Little did I know that he's creating a world where he could be happy.
He manipulates the sad reality into a twisted view of it where he could see himself smiling like again.
After getting into that zone, nabibigla nalang ako na meron na siyang awitin na isinusulat. Pero hindi ko naman siya makausap nang matino.
Pagka-kinubukasan, maririnig ko naman siyang kumakanta gamit ang iba't-ibang mga salitang 'di ako pamilyar.
Nagsasalita siya nang mag-isa, pero hindi ko inakala na may kinakausap na pala talaga siya.
"Hannah!"
"Ano?" I said in a slightly annoyed tone.
"Ay galit? Eh, tinawag na nga kita kasi I think you're drawn too much sa lalim ng pinag-iisip mo, baka matulad ka kay Alej, bahala ka!"
I was shookt when she said that, masama ba magpakalulong sa mga ala-ala? Girl, it's healthy reminiscing the past.
"Excuse me? Isn't sinabi ko na sa'yo na huwag na huwag mo na siya ulit babanggitin? How insensitive, Joyce."
"Oops, sorry. I didn't mean being like that, besides, ayoko nang nakikita kita ulit nang ganyan no? It's really disturbing lalo pa't ayaw na kitang nakikitang nasasaktan na naman ulit tungkol sa pag-alala sakanya."
"Ha? Can you please reiterate your mindless words? Ako? Inaalala pa siya? Sa pagkakaalam ko, matagal na akong nakapag-move on."
"Kaya pala suot mo t-shirt ng banda nila? Ganon ba yun, Hannah?"
-
The name's Hannah Fernandez. I'm a Psychology student dito sa University of the Philippines, Diliman. I am in my 4th year and final year sa aking pinakamamahal na unibersidad.
The girl that irritates me kanina is my only bestfriend, her name's Joyce Menendez. We have the same course, and we are classmates for most of our lives, kaya siguro normal na sa amin ang magbatuhan ng mga maaanghang na patutsada at pang-aasar.
That same time kanina na inaasar niya ako is the hour before our midterms para sa last sem ko sa Uni. I've prepared and faced 3 rigorous weeks of reviewing for this exam para mamentain ko ang aking GWA.
I have to graduate with Latin Honors.
"May practice mamaya ang Melancholia after the exams para sa UP Fair, manonood ka ba?" She casually asked while organizing her things.
"If Eli says so, I have to." I nonchalantly replied.
"oh, okay. Tara na baka mahuli pa tayo."
The midterm exam went smooth-sailing para sa mga tulad kong nag over-review. Pero para sa mga katulad ni Joyce, na nagbasa lang the night before the exam, ay para silang nagbabasa ng hieroglypics at pawang walang maintindihan sa mga binabasang tanong.
The test mostly covered the broad spectrum of different disorders; behavioral and emotional disoders such as ADHD, Bipolarity, Depression, Schizophrenia and the like. Hindi rin siya gaanon kadali because I have to memorise 400 different clinical operation procedures on how to treat these disorders and their defense mechanisms whenever they feel that they are in harm or in danger.
Buti nalang talaga I reviewed well and hopefully getting a high marks. Sana si Joyce, makapasa. Ilang beses ko narin kinulit na mag-aral pero wala talaga.
"So ano, kamusta exams mo?" I asked directly to her frowned face.
"Ano pa sa palagay mo? Syempre tres na naman niyan. Pero, nakasagot padin ako no!"
"Sa susunod kasi mag-aral ka na nang mabuti. Nasa UP ka, act like a true Iskolar."
"Sige na po. Pero wag na muna natin pag-usapan tong mga bagay na'to. Let's go to the band practice muna, gusto kong makita sa Paul."
"Ang harot mo talaga. Kainis ka." Sabi ko.
-
Maybe most of you are wondering who's Eli and Paul? Apparently, band members din sila ng Melancholia.
Paul is Joyce's crush, Eli is my boyfriend.
Sabi nga Joyce, they are having their band practice for the UP fair sa sunken garden. I have no intentions sa pagpunta, gusto ko nalang muna din matulog after the painful exams pero I received a text from Eli saying that I have to support him or else magtatampo siya.
So, I have no choice. Dagdag mo pa si Joyce na gustong-gustong makita at mapagmasdan si Paul.
UP Fair happens every February dito sa UP Sunken Garden. It has lots of activities, booths, and bazaars that I am sure everyone will enjoy. Pero one the biggest highlights nitong UP fair is ofcourse the band performances of Melancholia.
Siguro, dahil narin sa era ng mga kabataan ngayon that they love that idea of romanticizing sadness and depression ay isang malaking factor kung bakit sumikat ng sobra ang Melancholia. Pero 'di rin naman talaga maitatanggi ang talento na meron sila.
The music they produce can penetrate souls and can cause someone to lose themselves while listening.
"Hey, Babe. Buti dumating ka?" It's Eli.
He's a year older than me, 22 siya and I'm 21. Pero we have the same year level. Nag-aaral siya ng Industrial Engineering, so, hindi rin kami sabay na ga-graduate.
"Syempre, sabi mo magtatampo ka na eh." I casually replied.
Umupo siya sa bench katabi ko and held my hand. Napansin ko nalang na ang lamig ng kamay niya.
"You hid inside your cave for three agonizing weeks tapos hindi mo pa ako kikitain? Syempre, magtatampo na ako." He said in raspy and deep tone while looking directly in my eyes.
"I have to, diba. We have talked about this. Pero see, I am here now. Supporting you."
Hindi na siya nagsalita pa. Tumahimik nalang siya at sealed my lips with his. He usually does this whenever I feel that he's nervous and want to calm down.
Sinabi n'ya narin 'to sakin dati. He kisses me pag may times na he feels insecure and weak. Pero wala siyang nabanggit na he's kissing me because he loves me.
Gusto niya lang ng someone to comfort him.
He ended the kiss. Inayos niya ang buhok ko and kissed me once more. Pero this time, peck nalang.
He smiled, and tumingin nalang sa malayo while saying things that send shivers down my spine... Again.
"Si Alejandro, nasa backstage. He's injecting drugs again. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko sakanya, Hannah."