"Isuot mo nga kasi!" pagpupumilit ni kuya Jared sa akin na isuot ko daw ang clear plastic raincoat na bitbit niya buong byahe. Paalis pa lang kami ng bahay, pilit na niyang pinapasuot sa akin ito pero pilit din akong tumatanggi.
"Kuya naman! May payong na nga ako o!" pabusangot kong sagot. I was a seventeen-year old senior high school being forced to wear a raincoat. Seriously?
"Dinala ko nga 'to para hindi ka mabasa. Isuot mo na!"
"Ayoko nga."
"Ay! Cece. Isusuot mo to."
Mapagpumilit talaga siya. Ilang minuto rin kaming nagtalo sa ilalim ng ulan, sa tapat ng gate ng school ko habang pinagtitinginan kami ng mga estudyanteng papasok.
Si kuya Jared and pinaka matigas ang ulo sa apat kong mga kuya. Napagtanto kong hindi siya aalis hanggat hindi ko isusuot ang raincoat. Labag man sa kalooban ko ay isinuot ko na.
"Isusuot mo din naman, makikipag away ka pa. Ano gusto mo, mabasa?" pagsusungit pa niya. Sinuot ko na nga, pinapagalitan pa rin ako.
"Si Jael ang magsusundo sayo mamaya ha, may group project ako. Alam mong laging late yun! Huwag kang aalis mag isa ha," ika-limang beses niya nang paalala habang inaayos ang hood ng raincoat ko. Si kuya Jael ang pangalawang panganay sa amin.
I felt like a four years old pre-schooler being sent to school. I wondered if my brothers would ever realised na dise-syete anyos na ako. Hindi na nga kailangang ihatid-sundo pa ako eh.
"Woooshooo! Group project daw. If I know tatambay ka lang sa condo ng isa sa mga girlfriend mo."
Pinisil niya ang ilong ko. "Tsismosa ka din eh no? Pumasok ka na nga! Antayin mo si Jael ha! 'Wag ka ng umasa magtetext 'yun o tatawag. Magantay ka. Hmmm!"
❧ ❧ ❧
I took my time walking under the drizzling rain habang patungo sa main building. The sky was grey and gloomy, but the surroundings seemed to be a bit brown, like a light coffee stain. I watched the raindrops on my clear plastic umbrella as I head towards the main building. I took pleasure listening to the rainfall and the sound of splashes when people steps on puddles. And I also find it relaxing - the quiet noise when it's raining, like you can hear a busy hubbub but it's afar.
"GooOOod mOrning Cece," pagkataas-taas na energy na bati ni Mam Hachi nang magkasalubong kami sa entrance ng main building.
Si Mam Hachi ang teacher ko ngayon sa English Comms. Isa din siya sa mga paborito kong teacher. Mahusay na magturo, mabait pa. Mam Emoji ang tawag sa kaniya ng ilan, may sariling buhay kasi talaga ang mukha niya, parang mga emoticons.
"Mas good ka pa po sa morning Mam!"
"Naks! Ganyan dapat, shAre the goOd vibes!"
Nahawa na lang din ako sa hanggang langit niyang ngiti. Aliw na aliw talaga ako na may kaniya-kaniyang buhay ang iba't-ibang parte ng mukha ni Mam Hachi; yung mga kilay niya ang pinaka favorite ko, it's the most expressive amongst her facial features. Parang bawat salita ata niya, gumagalaw ang kilay niya. It's black, a bit thick but neat. It suited her deep expressive eyes too na palaging nakangiti. She has full and plump cheekbones na mas nae-emphasized lalo kapag ngumingiti siya. And parang, by default, she always have a wide, full smile where all her front teeth and hints of her gums would be visible. For me, in addition to her positive, charming and refreshing personality, she is the prettiest teacher dito sa school.
"Ano Cece, excited ka na ba sa midterms?"
Mahigpit na umakbay-akap sakin si Mam Hachi habang patungo kami sa stairways.
"Nyeee! Sino ba ang excited sa exams Mam?"
She laughed. Just as well as for her speaking voice, her laugh resonated a happy morning sunshine. Parang, there was always a giggle in her tone.
"Well, yea, yea, I agree. But the trick is, never to feel dreadful about exams. Kasi mas mahihirapan ka lang nun. You have to embrAce it. Ikaw rin naman ang makikinabang eh," payo niya habang umaakyat kami sa hagdan at sabay sa sinsero niyang mga ngiti sa mga estudyanteng bumabati sa kaniya.
"Magreview kang masaya Cece ha. Kahit hindi mo maintindihan lahat o mamemorya, basta dapat masaya ka pa din. Study happy, trUst me."
Tinapos niya ang advice niya sa isang nakakagood vibes na ngiti bago kami naghiwalay sa floor ng classrom ko. I find it so easy to trust her.
Mabuti at nagmarka ang good vibes feel ni Mam Hachi sa akin; from first period to lunch break, isinapuso ko ang 'study happy' na payo niya. Ang first subject ko with Teacher Kim became more and more awkward since the shower room incident. Nagdadala na ako ng extrang panty dahil may mga pagkakataong hindi ko talaga mapigilan ang mag wet, and I thought, I needed to make sure na amoy fresh ako palagi - just in case.
Dahil maulan, pinili kong sa library na tumambay after lunch instead sa cafeteria. Kapag ganitong weather, medyo malamok dun at maalinsangan pa; mas malagkit kapag sa tag-ulan maalinsangan. Si Mecky ang lagi kong kasabay maglunch, and just about at anything else I do at school. Si ate Juris, makikipag kwentuhan saglit pero babalik din sa group of friends niya. Si Balong naman, well, he was being Balong, he's everywhere pero minsan bigla na lang sumusulpot.
"Ay, naalala ko, nakita ko na pala yung librong sinasabi ni Mr. Severus. Gusto mo i-borrow ko na now para i-review natin mamaya kapag may chance between subjects?" tanong sa akin ni Mecky while we're scanning through the bookshelves.
"Talaga? Sige girl, marami bang copy yun?" tugon ko sa babaeng mas mukhang musikero kaysa bookworm, which both were true din naman.
Kasing-tangkad ko lang ito si Mecky. Balingkinitan ang kaniyang katawan, but she evokes a boyish style. Since the school year started, I've mostly seen Mecky wearing pants. 'Yung pananamit niya regularly rotates from bohemian, to american country style, to boyish-look soulful band musician. She started having few spots of pimples on her forehead noong nag-Grade 8 kami; her skin has always looked pale, parang hindi naaraawan; pero tuwing nagbibihis kami after P.E, I noticed, in fairness to her, she have a smooth and flawless body.
I've only seen her wearing one pair of sneakers for quite sometime too, at halatang marami nang pinagdaanan ang sapatos niya. I reckoned, she's sentimental that way kasi yung boho style bag na christmas gift ko sa sa kaniya three years ago ay siya pa ring gamit-gamit niya. Lagi lang nakalugay ang lagpas balikat niyang buhok, at madalas may malaking bluetooth headphones na nakasabit sa leeg niya.
"Isa lang nakita ko sa shelve eh. Ask ko na lang si Mrs. Aklatan kung may extra copy pa."
Ang librarian namin ang tinutukoy ni Mecky. Naaaliw din talaga ako kapag naiisip kong bagay na bagay sa apelyido niya ang trabaho niya - librarian, masungit, tahimik at mukhang pinaglihi talaga siya sa libro.
"Sige, kung meron pa, tag-isa na lang tayo. Paki book mo na lang sa ID ko o. Iko't-ikot muna rin ako, baka may iba pa akong makitang review material."
Tumango si Mecky na mukhang excited na magreview. Siya lang, siya lang ata talaga ang excited magreview sa eskwelahang ito.
"There, there, Ms. Kim. I'm massively pleased that you make this well efforts in getting ready for your Math midterms.. good for you, Cece."
Biglang kumibot ang makipot kong pagkababae nang marinig ko ang malamig na boses ni Teacher Kim na sumulpot na lang sa likod ko.
"Ganon, sir? I'm just skimming through the bookshelves lang naman po," kimi kong tugon. I tried to keep my cool.
"Yeah. At the mathematics section."
"Well, I've always enjoyed math. And sir, it's Kim --- Menendez."
"I know."
I took a short look at him. He was scanning the rows of books but I noticed there was a smile behind his poker face. Napangiti na lang din ako.
He continued, "but, don't you have anything else you enjoy?"
Tinango niya patagilid ang ulo niya trying to catch my face, which, even with mental protest, I automatically obliged; I looked at him again.
His whole face lit up, his brows puckered, his expression even looked romantic; his gaze was telling me something I've been wanting to hear, but I couldn't hear it. Naghuhumiyaw lang ang utak ko. We were so close at each other.
I'd enjoy it, sir, if your face is down in my pussy! Oh, I'd enjoy it a lot!
Hindi ako makatagal, I needed to break the moment, it was just getting too much for me. I turned around and took two steps away, pretending that I was still scanning the row of books.
"Well, I enjoy a lot of things, sir. I mean, subjects, school subjects. But, math, medyo mahirap e, so I take extra aral pa. Ikaw, sir, what else do you enjoy?"
I winced at my own question. I might have sounded far from innocent.
"The human body."
"Sir?"
"Anatomy. I've always been fascinated about the human body."
He showed me a Human Anatomy book that was already in the set of books he was carrying. Bumilis naman ang kabog ng dibdib ko sa takbo ng conversation namin.
"Wow. Are you teaching Anatomy soon, sir? Err, what fascinates you about it?"
I winced again, thought I was asking stupid questions.
"No. I mean, I'm not teaching Anatomy. Although, I'd like to. But I still have a lot to learn. The human body has a lot of surprises."
"I think you'd be great at teaching Anatomy, sir."
It came out too fast than I could stop it.
"You really think so?"
Natameme ako nang magtinginan ulit kami. "Yea. I mean, right, the human body is fascinating. You're a human body. Err, I mean, well, uhm.."
He pulled out his gaze but kept his naughty smirk. He picked out a book from the tall shelve, his face, amused.
My thoughts were failing me. But what's with our topic? And his smirk! I tried to act normal but inside, up there in my head, it was armageddon.
"Cece... Oh! Hello Teacher Kim!" pagkagulat ni Mecky.
Great, I'm saved!
"Mecky." The sex god just gave Mecky an empty nod and moved to the next bookshelve.
Lumapit sa akin si Mecky na mukhang walang pakialam sa existence ng gurong pantasya ng lahat. "Na'kay sir Albert daw yung isang kopya nitong book. Pero binabalik naman daw niya lahat ng hinihiram niya at the end of the day. So I booked this to your ID na lang at babalikan ko na lang mamaya yung isang kopya pagsauli ni sir Albert."
Tumango at sumang-ayon na lang ako at bumalik na kami sa napili naming table. Sa totoo lang, nawalan na ako ng pakialam sa kahit anong libro. A venomous monster was inside the library at gusto kong matuklaw.
For a minute, I buried my face in my notes. I couldn't stop thinking about Teacher Kim - the almost naked Teacher Kim. And even though it was only a brief conversation we just had, it sent electric sensations to the tip of my clitoris.
Then I was taken aback when I sat back up. There he was, by the next table behind Mecky, sitting facing me. He looked like a king cobra on alert, his body was upright and his gaze was piercing, predatory and just pleasingly biting.
When Mecky and I came in, I've noticed those books left open and the satchel bag on top of that table but the chair was empty. In my defense, I chose our table randomly, I didn't know Teacher Kim was here. But for the love of God, Mecky sat on the adjacent chair opposite me, leaving my front empty and defenseless against Teacher Kim's possible vicious attacks.
He did seem stranged tho, he was no longer distant and aloof. His gaze was no longer frugal and scarce. I felt like he was finally seeing me.
My attention was divided between him and whatever book I just opened. But whenever I glance at him, he would glance back, then, sabay kaming magiiwasan ng tingin.
I was suddenly puzzled at this new developments. I just realised, he's been calling me up more for recitations lately. I've also been the pun of some of his Math jokes. And I have also caught him several times leaving the school only after my brother arrived to pick me up, which happened often far late up to the early evening and he used to leave school way earlier than that.
Dahil hindi ako mapakali, tinanggal ko ang pony tail ko and brushed my hair with my fingers; from my forehead to my back, from the side of my ear, from my nape to the end length of my thick, black hair. I tried to keep my cool despite his relentless staring and his abusive lips wetting.
And then, there were those mannerisms he had too. He laid his one elbow on the table with his forearm up and his fingers were playing with each other. While his other forearm laid flat, and if not busy writing, four fingers will be silently running in place like horse feet on endless repeats. All his finger activities were just agonizing - erotic - but causing me pure physical and mental pain.
At dahil hubad ang mga table sa library, I noticed another mannerism, malakas pala siya magkuyakoy. The contour of his balls forms and deforms as he swang those two thick, giant legs. I couldn't stop myself but rub my thighs against each other to ease the throbbing pain from what was in between of it.
Why didn't I wear jeans today?
It was raining and cold, and I wore a knee-level, soft, flowy skirt. For a moment, I hated myself for my grab-and-wear attitude, that I hardly care on what I wear.
I noticed he aimed his gaze underneath my table.
Hey sir, what are you looking at?
He must be seeing something he liked because his mouth partly opened, looking hungry and dry. His adam's apple did not deny that slurp of thirst, and then again, he did that neck twist and stretch of discomfort.
I became certain I was not hallucinating or fantasizing alone in my dreamland. I could see something was growing inside his crotch. The beast was awaken, I thought it would bite me, but as it seemed, I bit it first.
He looked at me, his face stern, his jaw tightened. But I was no longer worried if he looked mad or wondered if he hated me. He wasn't hating me, or at least his exciting erection wasn't.
In my head, I was celebrating; unicorns and rainbows and sparkles decorated the entrance of my pussy. It was a party; one hell of a party and Teacher Kim was my guest of honor.
I bit my lip as I watched the greatest show on earth - his exciting balls and his growing bulge. I wanted to see more of it, more of that erection. I wanted a behind the scene experience, I wanted a meet and greet with the star, I wanted an autograph not with a pen, but with his penis and make him sign his name inside my pussy.
I was transitioning; sweet little Cece turned naughty and dirty. In some corner of my brain, I was worried how my expressions must have looked with all the sexual things going on inside my head. But damn Teacher Kim has captured every bit of my being.
The outlines of his growing boner was the greatest truth I have ever witnessed. It was firm and massive, the stretch could be deep or endless. I wasn't even exaggerating, it was pulsing strong, trying to come out of its limited cage. It knows. It knew it can't keep growing inside, there just wasn't enough space. It wanted freedom - Let it go!
I was shameless. Dirty and shameless.
Good Cece can't come to the phone right now, cause she's dead!
Why of course, it did not just ended there. Teacher Kim took the show to another level, the peak, but not the climax yet. His equally beastly hand went down to its true owner and caressed its majesty. Slow and careful, sweet and gentle, from the balls to the shaft, up to its thick, full head. I could just hear his cock saying 'thank you, my loyal handmaid'.
He would give me a look every now and then, his face suggesting a warning. But I was certain, I don't want the safe zone. I wanted to be in danger. His throbbing cock was the danger I'd never take a detour for. I will dive in, head first, mouth wide open.
For the most part, I couldn't believe myself for what we were doing in the library, with Mecky, possibly another virgin, in front of me. The always proper and respectable teacher has gone dirty on me and I went on a mud bath, bare bodied.
Then without giving a hint, a stare or any signs, he just stood up. His erection, provocative and awkward. Thankfully, only I could see it. I felt a little selfish about it, I didn't want to share the sight of that wild and pulsing bulge with anyone. But then he dissapeared in one of the book shelves. I was muddled.
Do I follow? Was he trying to lead me somewhere? Can I really do 'it' now? Are we?
I started racing in panic. I didn't know what to do. I felt scared, but increasingly aroused. What was he gonna do? Am I even ready?
With no one protesting, I stood up. Feeling guilty but unapologetic, I followed the direction Teacher Kim went in to. Nobody noticed me, I think. Mecky was all consumed with her music and the book she was trying to learn something from, she didn't even bothered to notice that I just stood up.
I saw Teacher Kim leaning to a shelve, his forehead rested on the shelve's level and his erection, still strong. He sensed me and walked away again. So, I followed. I thought, I should follow. I felt cheap and dirty, but not too slutty, not at all, maybe just curious and virgin, or at least that's what I tried to convince myself of.
We were in a game of chase. Nagpalusot-lusot kami sa mga shelves na parang maze. Then, he stopped, and so did I; I was still few steps away from him.
Briefly, the magnificent greek god jerked his head half-way to my direction but still, he didn't look up. I breathed hard, I was both nervous and excited.
Then, he dissapeared, again, behind a door, a door that says in strong, red writing 'No Students Allowed To Enter'.
All of a sudden, I was lost in his game. I swear, my inner-being bursted into a cry, full of angst, drowning in misery and rejection.
He must know I couldn't do it. I've always been a law-abiding student. I couldn't just break the wall or cross the borders, leave my student ID and be a teenage nomad. I have broken 50 rules of proper teen-aging already, neglected a dozen of my parents' lessons in life, and was about to obliviate in my head the ultimate principle of virginhood - keep it until you're ready.
But did Teacher Kim expect me to just enter the room that doesn't allow me in? Was it where he planned to do the things I fantasized him to do to me? Did he think that, since I was being severely naughty and obviously horny, I was no longer a righteous, upstanding student? Or was I being lame? Why don't I just go in? Nobody's gonna see me! Questions, questions, questions. It was the worst exam ever.
I stood there empty, leaning behind the restricted door, feeling nothing else but a pathetic leftover. He wasn't a monster no more, and evil would no longer suffice. But I couldn't figure out the right word, what he really was. I thought, maybe it should just be, for the moment #BewareTeacherKim.