Vice Mayor Torres comforted me. She hugged me while I'm looking at my Dad inside the ICU.
He suffered from heart attack. Matagal na pala si Daddy na nagpapacheck up dahil alam niyang may sakit siya sa kanyang puso. My poor Dad wants to live longer.
We decided to put Dad's condition in private. Malaki-laking gastusin ang kakailanganin namin para sa kanyang pagpapagaling. I'm afraid we might have to sell few of our properties.
Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng practice nang makaramdam ako ng pagkaduwal. I hurriedly excused myself and run near the restroom. I locked myself and vomit.
Maputla ako ng lumabas doon. Naabutan ko ang mga tingin sa akin ni Jerard. He's holding a food in his hand that made me rushed back inside the restroom.
"Donna!" Hindi ko na napigilan pang umiyak nang marinig ang boses ni Andy.
He hugged me so tight while I was busy hiding myself...helplessly crying.
"I...I think...I'm pregnant." Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Andy.
I don't know how Andy did it pero napakiusapan niya na hindi na ako sasali pa sa Miss Intrams dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko.
He didn't ask me anything. Maybe he's just waiting for me to tell him everything. I am not yet ready for it.
Naglakas loob ako na bumili ng ticket pa-Manila. I don't know where to find Gab but I'll try. Bumili na rin ako ng pregnancy test. Dalawa iyon.
Naalala ko iyong bar na pinuntahan namin. Isang backpack lang ang dala ko at isang maliit na sling bag. Sa malapit na hotel lang din ako nagpareserve.
The flight is around one hour. It was around eight when I got to Manila. Nag check in na ako at saka tumungo sa bar.
Takot man na baka hindi ko makita si Gab ay pilit kong nilakasan ang aking loob. After what happened to us, he didn't messaged me again. Nawala siya...mas mabilis pa sa isang bula.
I tried to blend in with a group that's about to enter the bar. Masyadong maingay. Masyadong magulo ang mga tao na nasa dancefloor. I gulped knowing that I don't know where to find Gab.
I closed my eyes the moment various lights hit it. Masyadong masakit sa mata. I remembered we went on the second floor of the bar. Mas kalmado doon ang mga tao. I was just hoping that I'd see Gab.
Palinga-linga pa rin ako dahil baka nasa paligid lamang si Gab. The moment I got on the second floor, I let my eyes wander.
I squinted my eyes to check if the familiar figure I'm seeing is Gab. Impossible. Kaya ba hindi na siya nagpaparamdam? Akala ko ba may mga pangarap siya? What is he doing here?
I quietly marched near him. Kahit maingay ay rinig na rinig ko ang nakakadiring ungol nila.
"Gab." I said...hoping he would it hear it.
Naputol ang mapupusok nilang halikan. Ang stupido ko diba? Pinanood ko pa silang halos kainin na ang bibig ng isa. Maybe because I'm hoping this isn't Gab. He's more than this.
"Who is she?!" Maarteng tanong ng babae na kahalikan niya.
Nanikip ang dibdib ko ng tingnan ako ni Gab mula ulo hanggang paa. He looked at me so different.
He shrugged his shoulders and let his eyes went back to the woman he is with.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago siya muling tinawag. I don't know what happened. I need him now the most.
"Gab." Pinigilan kong maiyak. I tried to let my voice sound firm.
"Kid, this isn't a place for you. What are you doing here? Gab! Do you know her?" Tumaas na ang boses ng babae ngunit hindi ako nagpatinag doon.
"I don't know her. Baka isa sa mga desperadang babae nagkakagusto sa akin." My jaw dropped by his sudden statement. He looked at me as if he didn't love me...or know me at all.
"What are you talking about? I am your girlfriend!" I screamed on his face.
Tinulak ako ng babaeng kasama niya. Shit! My baby! Hindi pwedeng pati ito ay mawala sa akin.
I distanced myself from the woman who just pushed her.
"Kid! Ang taas naman ng pangarap mo! I am his girlfriend and to tell you the truth..." She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at me. "We're engaged." Iniharap niya ang kamay niya sa akin.
The light reflected the diamond ring on her finger. Pilit kong hinanap ang mga mata ni Gab.
"I thought...you...want to chase your dreams...why...what's this..." The tears I'm trying to keep suddenly went out.
"We're engaged long long time ago." The woman lazily said and looked at Gab who's standing in front of me.
Ang taas pala talaga ng pangarap ko. Ang taas ng pangarap ko na sana makasama ko siya hanggang dulo.
"Can you just please leave? I don't even know you." He said that made me cry even harder.
I nodded. Paulit-ulit akong tumango...pilit kong pinapasok sa kokote ko ang mga sinabi niya.
I braced myself one more time. Last na to.
"I...would want to thank you for everything you did to me. Don't worry...this would be the last time...I won't let you see me again..." My voice croaked. Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya.
Narinig ako ang pag-angal ng kasama niyang babae. Tumingkayad ako para maramdaman ang pagdampi ng mga labi namin sa isa't-isa. This is the last time, Donna.
"I love you so much...and I guess...it's too much...it's a poison..." I whispered with nothing but bitterness.
"Goodluck on your marriage." Mabilis akong lumayo sa kanila bago pa man ako muling masaktan ng babaeng papakasalan niya.
How fool of me to come all the way here to just cry in front of him. Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang patuloy na lumalandas mula sa aking mga mata.
Mabilis akong naglakad papunta sa hotel. I felt my phone vibrating. Nanlamig ako ng makita ang napakaraming missed call ni Manang.
"Manang-"
"Nasaan ka, Donna? Ang Daddy mo! Nirerevive na ng mga doctor! Nasaan ka ba! Jusko! Sir!" Hindi ko na masundan ang mga sinabi ni Manang. Nabalot iyon ng iyakan.
Napaupo na lang ako habang patuloy na humahagulhol. What the fuck.
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