Chapter 50:
Rigel's POV:
It's so amazing how a person can make you fall for him/her without exerting too much effort and without even her knowing that she's already doing it.
Yun bang nagsimula lang ang lahat dahil sa isang dance cover na napanuod ko, hanggang sa napunta sa pag-iimbestiga, na humantong sa pagpapapansin.
At first, I thought that it was just a mere infatuation, that I just want to get close to her because I was amazed by her
I thought it was just a simple crush.
But again, I was wrong.
After leaving her, I realized that it wasn't just a mash but a damn real love.
Pakiramdam ko ay para akong isang walking dead nang lisanin ko ang Bolinao para bumalik sa Texas.
Nando'n yung pakiramdam na nawasak ang puso ko nang iwan ko si Abby, at nando'n din yung pakiramdam na nadurog ito ng pino dahil sa pagkawala ni mama.
It so damn hurts leaving someone you love and being left by someone who loved you the most since birth.
They say that I'm smart and a talented person, but the truth is I'm just a weak one without someone, without my loved ones.
I didn't know where to start after that. The feeling of wanting to go back to Philippines and the responsibility to take care of Steph because she's also an important person to me, made me realized that being smart and talented are no use in times like that.
Starting over again wasn't easy. It was indeed hard especially in the case of Abby.
Lahat naman ata ng ginawa ko para kay Abby ay mahirap. Ang hirap makuha ang pansin niya, mahirap makipag-close sa kaniya, at syempre, sobrang hirap ibalik ang tiwala niyang winasak ko na naging dahilan kung bakit kahit ang mismong katotohanan ay hirap niya na ring paniwalaan. She also had trust issues with other people because of me.
Sobra ko siyang napaasa at nasaktan.
Idagdag pa ang pagkakaroon niya ng boyfriend habang nagpaplano pa lang ako kung paano ko siya makukuha ulit. Mas lalong humirap ang sitwasyon para sa akin. I was stucked between "go get her no matter what happens" and "just leave her because she's happy now."
But at the end, I decided to wait for her. That was the safest way I know to make my plans to work out in the future.
Totoo ngang lahat ng tungkol sa kaniya ay mahirap, dahil pati ang paglimot sa kaniya ay sobrang hirap. It's not that I planned to forget her, 'cause I have never thought of forgetting about her. Mahirap lang talaga siyang maalis sa isip lalo na't lagi ko siyang iniisip.
Abby is a strong woman, but deep inside, she's so fragile. She's always doing her best to refrain others from knowing that she's hurting. But of course, she fails most of the time, especially kung sobrang sakit na.
Minsan nga naiisip ko na baka isa nga talaga siyang totoong anghel na mula sa langit dahil hindi lang siya maganda sa panlabas na anyo, mas maganda pa siya sa kaloob-looban ng kaniyang puso.
She's so selfless, lagi niyang inuuna ang kapakanan ng iba; magbibigay siya hangga't may maibibigay siya; madali rin siyang lapitan; napaka-mapagkumbaba niya; she appreciates everything, malaki man o maliit na bagay; she never faked her care for others; she loves unconditionally; mapagpatawad din siya kahit hindi ka pa humihingi ng tawad sa kaniya; she's also humble and respectful.
Pero minahal ko siya hindi lang dahil diyan, minahal ko siya dahil siya si Abby Dizon. Minahal ko siya dahil siya ay siya. Kung kaya'y kahit na magbago man ang hitsura at ugali niya ay mamahalin ko pa rin siya dahil siya ay si Abeyea Elle Dizon.
That's why when she said all those things at the parking lot, I was so happy. When she said that she's willing to take the risk again even though nasaktan ko siya at ilang beses ko na siyang naiwanan, damn, gustong-gusto ko na siyang dalhin agad sa simbahan para pakasalan. But I know things won't work like that, I need to take it slowly but surely.
A girl like her is so rare to find. She's unique in her own little ways.
She's my girl, my woman, and hoping to be my wife not only in the virtual world, but most importantly, in real life.
She's my world...
She's my life...
She's my everything.
"Abby, alam ko sobrang dami kong nagawang kasalanan sa'yo at sobrang kapal ng mukha ko dahil inalok agad kita ng kasal kahit na isang buwan pa lang tayo nagdidate."
Yes, we've been dating since a month ago after knowing that the one who called me "baby Rigel" was Nich na pinagtitripan ako that time. Damn that Nich, isang linggo tuloy nanlamig sa akin si Abby.
But what I didn't really expect was when she said "Boyfriend na kita. Tutal gusto at mahal natin ang isa't-isa ay 'wag ng magligawan, kaya mula ngayon ay boyfriend na kita."
Incredible right? Hindi talaga ako pumayag no'ng una sa set up na 'yon dahil gusto ko siyang ligawan pa muna bago maging kami. But she insisted, masyado na daw kasing marami ang nasayang namin na oras para pa magligawan.
So I didn't have a choice but to agree with her.
Pero kalakip ng pagsang-ayon na 'yon ang ang pagpaplano para sa gagawin kong proposal. This proposal really is the reason why I left their company, para hindi siya makahalata at hindi niya malaman ang tungkol dito sa plano ko. I actually planned to do this proposal in Pangasinan, but when I heard about Nich and Steph's wedding, the plan was changed. Kaya kailangan kong mas pagtuunan ng pansin ang bagong plano. It was a tricky move because she might discover about it, but luckily, all our friends and her family helped me with my plan. We moved like ninjas for the whole month because of the thought na baka malaman niya accidentally ang tungkol dito. Makilatis pa naman siyang tao.
I also invited her favorite band Maroon 5 for this proposal. They are my mom's close friends in showbiz. Akala ko ay hindi sila makakapunta dahil kakatapos lang ng tour nila sa Singapore, but look at them now, kahit wala pa silang pahinga ay dito na sila agad dumiretso sa venue para lang dito. They said that as our close friend, they can't miss this proposal especially that they're here in Asia.
Damn, they are the best.
"Abby, by accepting this ring, it means that you want to be my partner in lifetime. It also means na payag kang magpaligaw sa akin araw-araw kahit laging mainit ang dugo at laging nandidilim ang paningin mo sa akin dahil sabi mo nga ay maeksena akong tao. Gusto kitang ligawan Abby, dahil isa kang dalagang Pilipina. Ibig sabihin rin nito ay ayos lang sa akin na makatanggap ng batok mula sa'yo as long as intact pa rin naman ang ulo ko at the end of the day." I chuckled. Dang, saan na kaya patungo itong mga sinasabi ko? "At syempre, kapag tinanggap mo ang singsing na 'to, ibig sabihin ay mamahalin at iintindihin natin ang isa't-isa habambuhay. Mag-aaway man tayo, pero hindi maghihiwalay. Magkalayo man dahil sa trabaho o ibang importanteng bagay, ang mahalaga ang sa isa't-isa pa rin tayo uuwi. Dahil ang isang amerikanong magaling magtagalog na tulad ko, ay para sa lamang sa isang pilipinang tulad mo. Para lang ako sa'yo at ikaw lamang ang para sa akin."