~~~~~
Nang makabalik na kami ng Cebu City ay wala akong ibang ginawa kundi tumunganga sa kakahintay sa nalalapit na interview, o di kaya'y matulog. Mostly matulog. Dahil tuwing nababakante ang utak ko ay naaalala ko lang ang ginawa ng unggoy na si Zenith Revista bago tuluyang nagkahiwalay ang mga pamilya namin pagkadaong sa pier from Camotes.
Out of nowhere, he'd freaking grabbed the back of my head and kissed me on the forehead for three freaking seconds! Like it was his business to do so! Tapos sabi pa niya, "See you around, Arrain," saka tumalikod at tumalilis palayo bago pa man ako makahuma. The nerve. The asshole! It didn't help that Kuya Blithe had been teasing me about it every chance he got since he "saw the whole thing" daw. If I know, kasabwat siya ng lalaking iyon.
How dare he betray me! How dare those two imbeciles team up against me! Wag na wag lang silang magpapakita sa'kin na magkasama kung gusto pa nilang mabuhay sa mundong ibabaw na'to.
Nakuuu, gusto kong makakitil ng buhay.
"Good luck, sis!" masiglang sabi Ate Van nang inihatid niya ako para sa interview a few days later. "Update mo 'ko!"
"Thanks, Ate! See you later! Bye!"
At iyon na nga. Naganap ang interview in a fast-forward motion, and to my eternal gratefulness, I got the job. I was happy. I was satisfied. I was in cloud nine the whole week.
At nang i-email sa'kin ng HR ang aking start date, nag-celebrate kami ng family sa Radisson Blu at nag-toast silang lahat para sa'kin. It felt really nice, knowing they were all genuinely happy for me despite choosing a different career path than everyone else. Literature and fiction books had way more appeal to me than business plans and financial statements did, that's why I took an English major. I briefly considered becoming an English teacher when I graduated, but then I realized afterwards I had not the proper attitude and patience for it. I didn't want to risk calling anyone "dimwitted" or "stupid." Magiging terror teacher ako. The students will all hate me. Kaya di bale nalang.
Mas bagay pa akong maging copy editor sa isang publishing company. The grammar Nazi in me was ecstatic.
When my start date came, I was one of the early birds in our department. There were introductions and all and I smiled at everyone, although I immediately forgot their names once they said it. Ang tumatak lang sa'kin ay si Miss L na aming department head, at ang sobrang gwapong si Sir Cris na isa sa mga senior copy editors at siyang naka-assign bilang trainor ko.
Isang buwang training, iyon ang schedule ko sa ngayon. If I pass, I will be recommended for live work, then I will be evaluated on my third month, then, depending on my performance, either I'll be regularized on my sixth month or my probationary status will be extended.
As I was led to my designated work place by a friendly and chattering Sir Cris, determination and a renewed burst of confidence coursed through me. Hindi pa ako nag-fail sa tanang buhay ko.
This one should be a piece of cake.
-----
One month later
League Superclub
"Girrrl, ano'ng ginagawa mo diyan at nagpapalangaw kang mag-isa?! Sayaw na tayo, daliii! Miss L is looking for you!"
Biglang may mga kamay na kumapit sa aking braso at medyo napatalon ako sa gulat dahil sa higpit niyon. I released my breath once I realized who it was. Deymn, akala ko lang kung sinong manyak. Si Sir Cris lang pala. This biatch has such strong and large hands, and a nice, toned body. Any girl looking at him wanted to take him home tonight, I'm sure. I smirked inwardly at the thought.
Looks, indeed, can be deceiving. Fortunately for me, nakapag-adjust na ako kay Sir Cris.
Itinaas ko ang hindi pa nauubos na inumin saka ngumisi. "Di pa ubos yung drink ko, eh. Susunod na lang ako."
"Ayy? Pang-ilan mo na iyan, ah!" Umangat ang isang kilay nito. "Siguro may hinihintay ka, no? Jowa mo?"
"Tss, wala nga akong jowa, sir. Sadyang mahal lang talaga ang mga inumin dito kaya ayokong sayangin. Miss L ordered ten shots for me, you know?" I took the shot then started giggling like a retard.
Oof. Parang sinisimulan na akong tamaan.
"Kita mo to. Balak pa yatang magpakalasing eh hindi naman ikaw ang birthday girl. And wait, did you just call me sir . . . again?" He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "Di ba sabi ko, pag wala tayo sa office ay Cris lang ang itawag mo sa'kin? It's been almost a month, chica! Hindi ka na trainee kaya first-name basis na tayo dapat." One of his hands found their way to my curled long hair and caressed it fondly, sighing. "Oh, my gosh, Rain. Nakaka-badtrip ka talaga."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "H-ha? Bakit? What did I do?"
Because I accidentally called him "Sir Cris" again? Really?
"Have I told you I'm suuuper jealous of your pretty, soft, and silky hair?"
Then it hit me.
Ah, badtrip nga pala ang isang to sa buhok ko. Bumunghalit ako ng tawa sa nalukot niyang ekspresyon. OA talaga ng baklang ito minsan.
"One too many times, sir--I mean, Cris." Inirapan niya ako kaya mas lalo akong natawa. "You told me that on my first day, and the following days after that! Bakit, gusto mo pa rin ba akong kalbuhin para gawing wig ang buhok ko?"
"Syempre, gusto pa rin!" ingos niya. "Kaya hinay-hinay sa paglalango at baka samantalahin ko ang pagkakataon sa oras na mawalan ka ng malay. I have a swiss knife in my pocket." Cris winked cheekily, then leaned in and planted a smooch on my left cheek. He let go of my arm and started for the dance floor again. "Tapusin mo na iyan, ah?" he called over his shoulder. "We'll save a space for you!"
And then he was gone among the throng of writhing bodies. It was a sea of people out there. Gusto ko na rin sanang magwarak pero masyado pa akong sober. I might be tipsy already but I still wasn't drunk enough for the dance floor. One more shot, and then I'll be off. Promise.
Mabuti nalang Sabado bukas at wala kaming call of duty. Miss L was a genius, and the best boss anyone could ask for. Nilibre na nga niya kami ng pizza kaninang lunch, tapos nag-unli wings pa kami nung dinner, at tapos niyaya niya pa kaming mag-night out sa isa sa mga members-only clubs dito sa Cebu, her treat. Awesome. Miss L didn't look or seem her age at all. To my eyes, she was like a very generous goddess.
Ako kaya, when I turned fifty, maging kasing young and hip and cool and beautiful pa kaya ako tingnan tulad ni Miss L? I sighed wistfully. Siguro ganoon ang epekto ng hindi pag-aasawa. Fresh pa rin siguro hanggang 100 years old. Ako kaya? Mag-aasawa kaya ako in the future . . . o magiging forever bachelorette like my boss?
No, no. Another shot. That's what I needed, not any more overthinking.
"Waiter! Wa--what the shit?"
Tatawagin ko pa sana ang isang nagdaraang waiter nang may mahagip akong pamilyar na mukha na kakapasok pa lang ng entrance. It was Zen, and he was accompanied by his gang of perverts and their trophy girlfriends.
Aren't I lucky?
Awtomatiko akong napadausdos sa kinauupuan para magtago pero hindi ko tinanggal ang tingin sa kanya. Mahirap na. Zen stopped by the bar counter, his eyes scanning the whole place like a predator looking for prey, and I grimaced. It was as if he knew somehow that he would find me here tonight. I wouldn't put it past him to stalk me like this. Isang buwan din niyang hindi ginulo ang buhay ko kaya baka ito na ang pinangangambahan kong comeback.
Why here? Why now?
Shit. Shit. Shit. Papalapit na siya ngayon sa mesa ko. He can't see me, he can't! Especially not when I'm in this vulnerable state!
And then, as if my guardian angel heard my plea, I had a light bulb moment. Napalunok ako at naghanda. Iyon lang ang tanging paraan, Rain. Now or never. Mentally convincing myself this was for my own good, I stood up and shakily dove into the sea of writhing bodies.
Dance floor, please do your job. Hide me. Hide me. Hide me, please.
There was one con, however, with my chosen escape route. I wasn't blessed in the height department, you see, so everybody was pretty much towering over me. It became suffocating so fast. Kung ano-ano nalang ang humahawak o lumalapat sa katawan ko. Ligaw na puwet. Mga ligaw na kamay. Boobs ni ate, package ni kuya. Ilang mura na ang nilitanya ng aking utak pero wala akong magagawa. I came in. And unless I wanted to deal with Zen and his moronic tendencies, I'll have to stand my ground and stay here.
"Nasan na ba ang mga iyon? I need my space, people!" I desperately craned my neck to find Miss L, Cris and the others, but I couldn't spot any familiar face. Malaki-laki rin ang dance floor na ito, and unless I wanted to climb up the platforms for a better view and risk Zen spotting me in the process, it would be almost impossible to find them like this.
Nalintikan na.
Zen's face appeared in the sea of faces a few meters away. My eyes bulged in disbelief. Kadarating pa nga lang, nakikipagsayaw na agad? Just wow. I hastily turned around and grabbed the first person my hands could find.
Matangkad na lalaki. Dressed in expensive yet simple clothing. Tousled dark hair. Handsome face. Annoyed expression.
And he was kind of . . . familiar.
Mataman niya akong tinitigan. About five seconds. Tapos ay bigla nalang niya akong tinalikuran nang walang sinasabi.
Huh?
"Wait!" Inabot ko ang laylayan ng suot niyang maroon na leather jacket. He turned to me again with a questioning look, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. "Do I know you?" tanong ko sa malakas na boses para marinig niya ako. The club was just too damn noisy, noisier than ever. Alas dose na kasi. It was that time of night.
The guy's lips twitched a little. Parang pinipigilan niyang mapangiti. "Laos na iyan, miss. Twenty-twenty na ngayon. Be more creative."
I gaped up at him. Did this mothahfuckah just imply na pinipick-upan ko siya?! "Excuse me?"
Nagkibit siya ng balikat. "You're excused."
Tatalikod ulit sana siya pero dahil medyo nawawala na ako sa tamang huwisyo ay agad kong hinagip ang kanyang braso para pigilan siya. I wasn't normally the kind of girl who clings to attractive guys. I was the one who shoos them away. Kaya ang inaakto ko ngayon ay nagpapatunay lang na lasing na talaga ako. I even squeezed the guy's arm as if we were close. Sober me could never ever dare to do that.
And what the shet ang tigas! Umiigting ang kanyang biceps. O. M. G. A shiver ran down my spine, and to other interesting parts of my body as well, as a mental image of bare, muscular arms wrapping around me briefly flashed in my head. This stranger's arms were hot, dammit! Para akong napapaso sa paghawak pero hindi ko siya pinakawalan. Wala ako sa posisyon para mahiya o problemahin ang aking dignidad. I was in danger here!
Yes, that's right! Zen zone! He was in here somewhere. He can't recognize me. I needed to do something.
"Hey, dance with me!" sa wakas ay nasabi ko rin matapos ang ilang moments ng pagkatulala dahil sa kanyang biceps. Na hindi ko pa rin binibitawan.
That's when he met my gaze, and I was surprised to see how cold his eyes were. Oh, it wasn't just his eyes. His whole face was rigid.
Mas matagal ang titig niya sa'kin ngayon. Nagsisimula nang mangalay ang aking leeg sa kakatingala sa kanya.
There was definitely something familiar about his face--
"Ayoko," he finally answered in a cool tone, then turned his back on me again. Then a random girl came up to him from nowhere . . . and he danced with her.
To say I was offended was the understatement of the year. This guy was starting to piss me off!
"Hoy!" sigaw ko malapit sa likod niya. Just how dare he. "Bakit siya pwede pero ako hindi?!"
Paking shet. I really was drunk. I sounded idiotic even to myself.
"I don't owe you anything, miss," Offensive Guy threw over his shoulder without even glancing at me. "Maghanap ka ng iba."
"But you'll be doing me a huge favor!" I whined, poking his back. "I'll owe you--you know what? Fine! I'll just find someone else. Arte arte mo!"
Nag-belat ako sa likod niya at nagsimulang lumayo. Suit yourself. There's a lot of fishes in the sea.
Pero bago pa ako tuluyang makatalikod ay may isang kamay na pumulupot sa bewang ko mula sa likod at pinihit ako paharap. It was him, all right. And he was looking down at me with a smirk playing along his mouth.
"What was that?" he asked, his head tilting to one side. "You'll owe me?"
"H-h-ha?"
Hindi ako prepared. Hindi talaga ako prepared.
"One dance," sabi niya, saka mas hinapit pa ako lalo kaya dikit na dikit na ang aming mga katawan. His eyes dropped to my lips at the same time I felt his fingers trace circles on the bare part of my waist. Tapos sinalubong niya ulit ang aking mga mata. "For one long kiss."
I gulped. But then I was lost in those handsome dark pools, and I found myself nodding. I could say I was drunk, but that would just be a poor excuse. Because I wanted to kiss him too.
Like, right now.
~~~~~