~~~~~

The sunset was--hands down--the most beautiful thing I've seen the whole day today.

"Hayy, pwede na akong mamatay," mahina kong usal sa kawalan saka kuntentong bumuntong-hininga.

Ang asul na asul na kalangitan kanina ay nagsisimula nang maging pink. Oo, ang sunset dito ay pink. Only in Camotes. Maya-maya lang ay magdidilim na ang paligid at magsisilabasan na ang kung ano-anong insekto, ngunit imbes na maghanda sa pagpanhik sa cottage ay mas lalo ko pang inihiga ang katawan ko sa lounger at nag-relax.

It's only been two weeks but I had already fallen in love with this place. Maliban nalang sa isang napakaliit na detalye ay perfect para sa'kin ang summer vacation na ito. The villa was located in the best part of the island. Far from the main road and inaccessible by tourists, private beach front with a great view of the sunrise and sunset, and a two-storey, ten-bedroom, fully-equipped beach house with modern interior and glass walls which give you a light and airy feeling.

Kung for sale lang sana ito ay pinilit ko na sila Papa na bilhin ito, bahala nang magkanda-utang utang kami. Unfortunately though, the owner of this place would surely never want to let this go. Eh, kung hindi nga lang dahil sa connections, hindi pa sana kami makakatuntong dito. Pasalamat nalang ako na may two week's worth of memories ako sa napakagandang lugar na ito.

Minus that small little detail, of course.

Today, I planned to savor every second of the peace and quiet. The sea looked so calm before me. And pink. I imagined myself floating serenely in the middle of the ocean. Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti. I really could just die here like this.

Pero joke lang. May interview pa ako next week para sa in-apply-an kong trabaho. It was the final interview and it was my dream job. Sa susunod nalang siguro ako ninyo kunin, Kalangitan. Sisiguraduhin ko muna ang aking kinabukasan at ng aking future family.

Thank you po.

Biglang umihip ang malakas na hangin at aking nasamyo ang amoy nito. Mmm, ang alat. Refreshing. Agad kong hinawi ang aking buhok na bigla nalang nag-riot sa iba't ibang direksyon.

"Ayy, pakshet! Panira ng moment!" Naiinis ngunit natatawa kong tinanggal ang suot kong shades saka pinagpatuloy ang pag-aayos ng naglipanang buhok, pero parang mas ginugulo ko lang yata. Malapit na sana akong mag-head bang nang biglang may nagsalita mula sa katabi kong lounger.

"Just stop moving, Arrain, and let the wind do what it wants. Kesa magmukha kang nasisiraan ng bait diyan."

Marahas ko itong nilingon at hindi na nabigla sa pagmumukhang nakita ko. Bloody Zenith Revista. And he was bloody smiling at me like a moron.

Yep. That right there was the small detail I was talking about. Ang taong wala nang ginawa buong bakasyon kundi magpapansin at magpapansin sa'kin. I was actually surprised my father and Kuya Civ were letting him live this long. Siguro ay dahil kasama rin namin ang parents ng kulugong ito.

Ka-badtrip.

I gave the guy an automatic grimace--the greeting that I reserved especially for him on all occasions. I put my sunglasses back on so I wouldn't see the face of a complete dickhead. Panira nga talaga ng moment.

"How many times, Zen," mataray kong sabi. "Ang papa ko lang ang tumatawag sa'kin ng Arrain. It's Rain for everybody else. Rain."

Si Papa nga lang ang "Arrain" ng "Arrain" sa'kin simula pagkabata, as far as I can remember. Ang mga kapatid ko at si Mama ay Rain, o di kaya'y "Ang Batang 'To", depende sa mood nila. When I was in elementary, most of the kids would confuse my name as "Arrian" so our annoyed class president had decided to bestow upon me the nickname "Arra." I hated it, of course. Kaya ni-reveal ko nalang sa kanila ang nickname ng pamilya ko sa'kin. That was Rain.

Simula noon ay yun na ang naging tawag sa'kin hanggang sa grumaduate ako ng high school. Actually, hanggang college--no, actually hanggang ngayon. Yeah, everyone called me Rain, except Papa.

And someone else too . . . but Zen the damn bloody douchehat didn't need to know the details.

Mas lalong naging mapangloko ang ngisi ni Zen. "Oohh, but you'll be calling me daddy anytime soon so I can pretty much call you whatever I want," he leaned in towards me, "Arrain."

Maagap ko namang nailayo ang kanyang mukha gamit ang ultimate palm-to-chin technique. Napaigik siya sa sorpresa--at sakit.

"Aray, babe! That hurt!"

Babe?!

I flicked him on the forehead so fast he had no time to react.

"You're a disgusting pig! You deserve to be gutted!" Pinanlisikan ko siya ng mata saka mabilis na iniwan doon. His maniacal laughter echoed from behind me, but I was glad he wasn't following, kung ayaw niyang pagpalitin ko ang posisyon ng kanyang ilong at bibig.

Naghuhuramentadong nagpapadyak ako palayo roon at binalewala ang nagliliparang buhangin sa likod ko. Nilampasan ko ang cottage dahil alam kong susunod lang iyon sa'kin at aasarin lang ako ulit kaya dumeretso nalang ako sa beach house.

Bye, beautiful sky! Sa susunod nalang ulit! I will surely come back to this place again and I'll make sure not to bring any unwanted species for company. Next time. For now . . . manghahalungkat muna ako ng pagkain.

Syet. Pakshet na lalaki. Nagutom tuloy ako sa stress dahil sa kanya. Sayang lang at hindi ko natapos ang sunset. Pero kahit pa siguro last meteor shower on earth ay kaya kong i-boycott para lang makaiwas sa pag-aali-aligid ng isang pervert.

He was twenty-eight, for goodness' sake! Kailan ba magtitino ang lalaking iyon?

Nasalubong ko si Kuya Blithe sa pinto. He looked surprised to see me. I was surprised to find him here too.

"You're back early." He quickly glanced at the sky outside then back at me with that confused face of his. "Akala ko ba manonood ka ng sunset. Maliwanag pa sa labas, ah."

I removed my sunglasses and brushed past him towards the fully-stocked fridge.

"Oo sana, pero may nakikinood na maligno, nakakaasiwa. Next time nalang ulit," matabang kong tugon habang hinahalughog ang laman ng ref nang naka-squat. "Ikaw Kuya, ba't di ka sumama kina Ate Van? Wala bang nag-request ng pasalubong sa'yo o tapos ka nang mamili?"

Ate Vanice was our eldest brother's wife. According to her text, kasama nila ngayon sina Mama, Papa, at parents ni Zen sa pamimili ng souvenir items doon sa dowtown, a few minute's tricycle ride away from our villa. She even asked me if I wanted to join them but I was already done with that chore (kahapon pa) and I already had plans to enjoy the sunset alone. The last sunset, since babalik na kami sa syudad at realidad bukas pagkatapos ng pananghalian. Malay ko bang e-epal si Zen doon. Hindi porke't all-expenses-paid ang bakasyong ito ng mga magulang niya ay pwede na niya akong guluhin kung kailan niya gusto. Di nalang siya sumama sa matatanda. Tutal matanda na rin siya.

"Oo, tapos na, nung isang araw pa. Sinong maligno, si Zenith?" tanong ni Kuya Blithe na halatang pinipigilang matawa. They we both the same age, and they were close. Inirapan ko siya.

"Sino pa nga bang maligno ang kasama natin nitong huling dalawang linggo?"

I finally settled on a tub of cookies and cream and stood up, closing the fridge door and grabbing a spoon on my way to the living room. Sumunod naman si Kuya. I plopped down the couch and prepared to open the creamy goodness.

"Right. Malignong adik sa'yo." He stood in front of me and wagged his eyebrows teasingly. "Kailan mo ba papansinin ang pagpapa-cute ng isang iyon, sis? Nang magtino na iyon sa buhay?"

What the douche.

Maingat na inilapag ko ang baong ice cream sa coffee table. Mahirap na, baka madamay. Tapos umaksyon na ako.

Pumailanlang sa buong kabahayan ang malutong niyang halakhak nang batuhin ko siya ng dalawang magkasunod na throw pillow. Sapul siya sa mukha pero tawang-tawa pa rin. I growled. I grabbed another pillow and attacked him again. Hindi man lang umiilag ang isang 'to, kainis.

Tumayo na ako para mas intense.

"Cute?! Ano'ng cute?! Saang banda? Saang banda?!" nanggagalaiti kong sigaw habang paulit-ulit na hinahampas ko ng unan ang dibdib niya. Kuya Blithe was barely restraining me with his hands, like what I was doing was nothing for him, and that irritated me even more. Mabuti nalang at nasa private property kami dahil siguradong dinig na dinig within ten kilometers of the area ang galit ko. Grrrr! "At bakit nakadepende sa'kin ang pagtitino ng ugok na iyon, ha?! Kung jowain mo nalang kaya iyon, Kuya! Tutal naman you find him cute! Ew, ew, ew! Of all the things to say! Kapatid mo ba talaga ako?! Bakit ba botong-boto ka sa lalaking iyon?! You know how much I despise the perverted freaking asshole!" 

Hindi pa ako nakuntento kaya sinapul ko ulit siya sa mukha. He just grinned and brushed it off calmly. I stared him down since at this point ay nakatuntong na ako sa couch kaya mas matangkad ako. His benign stare made me feel like a child throwing a tantrum.

Which was actually the case, dammit.

"Bakit ba ayaw na ayaw mo kay Zen?" maya-maya'y untag ni Kuya nang huminahon na ako ulit at nilalantakan ko na ang ice cream. Ngayon ay nakaupo na kaming dalawa, ako sa mahabang couch, siya sa single couch. "Ano bang nagawa niya sa'yo?"

"Like you don't know." I glared at him over the top of the container but he just shrugged.

"Yeah, he can come off as a real ass sometimes and he says inappropriate things. But that wasn't always the case." Pinukol niya ako ng medyo mapang-akusang tingin. "He was nice at first, but you were suddenly treating him like he had the worst kind of contagious virus or something." Iniling nito ang ulo. "Two years nang offended yung tao sa'yo. Can you blame him?"

"I--" My chewing on the yummy creamy cookie chunks slowed.

Hesitantly, I thought back to that first time I met Zen during a formal event. Two years ago. Kaga-graduate ko lang noon ng college at isinama kaming lahat ni Papa sa isang welcome dinner para sa may-ari ng kompanya where Papa was the COO. It turned out lolo ito ni Zen na kagagaling lang sa Europe para sa isang heart transplant operation. Thankfully, it was a successful one.

We were in one table, my family and his. Syempre, prepared palagi ang aking most practiced smile dahil mga big-time at respetado ang mga kaharap ko, let alone older than me. I was only twenty-one then, and the only English major among business-obsessed people.

OP na OP.

Biglang nagkasalubong ang aming mga tingin. Nakangiti si Zen sa'kin, yung tipo ng ngiting nagpapahiwatig ng pakikipagkaibigan. His eyes were twinkling with mirth, and I realized he caught me about to yawn. Mas lumaki ang ngiti nito nang mag-peace sign ako at nahihiyang tinugon ang ngiti niya.

Then his smile became full-blown, his perfect teeth gleaming in the soft lighting of the function room. A nagging feeling erupted in my stomach. Ang gwapo. Syet!

Natulala ako saglit, ngunit nang bigla siyang tumayo para lumipat sa katabi kong bakanteng upuan ay mas nasilayan ko pa ang mukha niya ng malapitan. Clear skin, halatang pinanganak na mayaman. Ang tangos ng ilong. Ang shapely ng lips at kilay. Even his hair looked healthy. Para siyang model na lumabas sa isang pahina ng magazine. . .

Kaya lang ay bigla siyang nagsalita.

"You look bored to death, Arrain. Wanna get out of here?"

He'd called me Arrain.

Suddenly, his smiling face was transforming in my eyes, and I was suddenly looking at someone else's face. I blinked.

Ang mukhang iyon, na ilang taon na ang nakalipas nang huli kong makita. Ang lalaking iyon na obsessed na obsessed sa'kin nu'ng high school at palaging nangsi-stalk at nagbibigay ng flowers o chocolates o love letter tuwing recess. For four straight years. That obese nerd with thick eyeglasses and bad hairstyle and even worse sense of fashion.

He had been under the illusion that he was in love with me. Until I purposely broke his heart in front of his family, and my family, and the whole school population on my graduation day.

He looked nothing like Zen, of course. But the way they smiled so bright as they looked at me was the same. The way they called me by my name was the same. Kinilabutan ako. At hanggang ngayon, hindi pa tuluyang nawawala ang kilabot na iyon. Kaya sorry ka, Zen. Isa kang malaking X sa'kin.

"He reminds me of someone I'm not interested in remembering," nakaingos kong sagot kay Kuya Blithe makalipas ang ilang segundo ng katahimikan. "At pwede ba, Kuya," nakasimangot akong bumaling sa kanya, "since close naman kayo ni Zen, pakisabi sa kanya na tantanan na ako? Utang na loob. Kahit kailan ay hindi tatalab ang pagpapapansin niya sa'kin dahil hindi ko siya type. And unless tumigil siya sa kakatawag sakin ng 'Arrain', hindi ko siya tatratuhin bilang isang disenteng tao man lang. Pass on the message, will you? Nagsasawa na ako, paulit ulit nalang, eh."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Pero yun naman ang pangalan mo, ah. Ano'ng masama doon?"

"He calls me that because he wants to be someone special in my life!" I narrowed my eyes. "He's not, and will never be."

"He's not Ysrael, Rain."

"But he might be. I can't risk it."

Kuya sighed defeatedly. "Naku, dahil dyan sa mindset mo na yan kaya ka single, eh. Masyado kang nega at assumera!"

"Nagsalita!"

Napapalatak na tumayo si Kuya saka mataman akong tinitigan. "Ang harsh mo talaga kahit kailan," was the last thing he said before leaving me there all alone.

Me and my half-melted ice cream in da hauz! As usual.

And harsh? Ako? Okay, fine. I knew I was being harsh towards Zen. Pero na-trauma na ako sa unwanted attention ng isang tao noon, at ayaw ko na ulit maranasan iyon ngayon. Call me presumptuous, but I was afraid if I start smiling and being all nice to Zen now, he'll turn out to be another obsessed freak. Though whether that really did happen or not didn't matter. Hindi ko lang talaga type si Zen.

Yun yun.

So until he finds another girl to shower all his attentions and pervertedness, ayoko talagang makipagkaibigan sa kanya.

That's a promise.

~~~~~