I gazed up at the ceiling blankly, incomprehensible emotions swirling through my only visible eye. I tried to sort my emotions as I waited for night to approach. I couldn't help smiling wryly looking at the money leftover after buying my necessities. It's not that I felt bad for stealing, it was the memories it brought with it.
"Ha.." I sighed, reminiscing on the good and bad memories of my life on the streets. All those times when I would get caught while pick-pocketing and Barnes and I would end up making a mad dash to safety. I narrowed my eyes and looked up, sighing again.
'What's wrong?' Al asked in a confused tone.
"I was just wondering, what would happen if I didn't go with Barnes, would I be a different person than I am right now?"
'... If you went back in time.... would you do the same thing?' My smile deepened hearing Al's somber tone.
"Truth is, I don't know, would I go with him leech off him then kill him in cold blood or would I end up the same way I am now? If I'm being honest, although now I hate Barnes, Dave and even Rick, I can't help appreciating the delightful times. Is that bad? If I spent all my life crying the woes of the awful times won't I be crying my entire life? So even though I hate them for making my life more of a living hell, I appreciate the skills I learnt and the mental strength I gained from it. Al, does that make me naïve? Soft-hearted? Weak?" I became overwhelmed with emotions as the past flashed in my mind like it happened yesterday.
'.....No, I believe that there is no right or wrong way, that you can accept reality as it is and grow from it, is the best you could ever wish for, I appreciate that about you, admire even, that's why I helped you fight on because no matter how strong the person they will still need support or else they'll break. Al's words surprised me, no matter how much I talked to him he only spoke to me in a monotone voice and never expressed his own feelings but right now his voice sounded unusually gentle and caring although to outsiders his voice may still sound cold and uncaring I could hear the difference.
I felt my face heating slightly, and I knew I was probably blushing. My heart was racing slightly, not in fear or trepidation but something else, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It filled my stomach with huge butterflies; I gripped my stomach, confused by this phenomenon. I soon shrugged it off, thinking I was happy because of his first ever compliment. I smiled brightly and hugged my knees to my chest.
"AL, thank you, I'm curious of what you look like now," I said in a soft voice. I knew in my heart I shouldn't trust him, I knew it was a terrible idea, and I reminded myself of that. If I trusted him, that would put me at his mercy and I would end up in the same situation again, but a part of me just couldn't help softening slightly. It seemed like some chains on my heart were slackening without my realization.