***
When I was a kid, I used to dream that one day, I will be the one who'll going to design my wedding gown and my groom's suit. I used to see myself walking in the aisle with people around me wearing the suits and gowns I've choose for them on my special day. I used to plan a magical wedding. With the man I love and whom I choose to spend my life with. But maybe it will stay like that forever--just a dream, and will never be real.
I stood still. I can hear the noise inside the cathedral in front of me. Nakasara ang malaking pinto ng simbahan at iniintay ko na lang ang pagbukas nito.
Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari at parang pagkagising ko, nakatayo na ako rito. Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa bungkos ng bulaklak na hawak ko.
"Is everything okay, ma'am?"
Napatingin ako sa aking kaliwa at nakita 'yung nagmaneho ng sinasakyan ko kanina. Nagpilit lang ako ng ngiti pero umuling. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa pinto bago muling dumako ang mga mata ko sa aking suot. It was a white gown with a sweetheart neckline decorated with beads and sequences. My hair was kept in a tight bun made by one of the stylist my mom hired. I don't actually knew what did I look like. I don't even glace at the mirror when someone's doing my make up but I know I must look good. My mother hired them anyway.
The wedding was planned to be held in America so that after the wedding, mom can undergo to her surgery.
While walking in the aisle, I literally felt nothing. Maybe I'm numb for the past few days of crying and drowning myself in alcohol. Maybe because I felt so miserable on my situation. Or maybe simply because I'm tired of everything that all I want is to end this fuckin' marriage already and just go on with life.
Nang makarating ako sa harap ng altar ay agad na inilahad ni Landon ang kamay niya. Tiningnan ko siya sa mata sandali bago ibalik ang aking tingin sa kaniyang kamay.
"Please..."
Napatingin ako sa kaniya at sa nagsusumamong mga mata niya. Napatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko kung bakit? Bakit kami. Bakit ang miserable namin? Bakit kami nasasaktan ng ganito?
That's when a tear started to well my eyes. He immediately wiped my tears.
"Let's just end this already, okay?"
The day before the wedding, we're together. We both get drunk and tried to drown the pain but, stupid us-- pain is a lot bigger than alcohol.
We cried. Specially him while I'm telling him about our love--Keina and Eiffel-- being together. He was so hurt that night when he learn the relationship between Keina and Eiffel. He was hurt that he almost jump from the balcony in his condo. I can still remember his words when I stopped him: "Bree, kung ganito lang rin pala ang mabuhay, Sana namatay na lang ako. Parang mas masakit pa 'to kesa mamatay..."
And I knew for a moment, that maybe Landon and I can be a good friends. We can be there for each other. We can be there in time of needs. We can be there when everyone have their backs against us.
I nodded then he gently led me to the altar. And the process of marriage contract starts.
I was just standing there until the famous line left the mouth of the priest.
"You may now, kiss the bride."
Landon move closer to me. Iniangat niya 'yung belo ko.
"Britany, I want us to try." I was taken aback by his words but let him finish his words. "Let's start anew. let's forget everything and start to move on with life. We've been through enough and I think it's time for us to be free and happy."
I looked at him in the eye. He was seriously offering me a new life. Risky, yes pero sa buhay naman ata ng tao, hindi mawawala yung pagsugal. Kahil anong mangyari, dadating yung araw na kailangan sumugal.
Minsan talaga, sa sobrang pagod mo, tatanggapin mo na lang lahat ng binabato sa iyo ng buhay. You're not thinking what might happen, you just accept it, surrendering, and will just go with the flow.
I nodded at him. We'll try. For --maybe-- a better life.
He cup my cheeks with his warm palm. He move closer and closer until I felt his breathe on my face. I looked at him. His eyes are close and before our noses touch, I looked over his shoulder only to see them--Eiffel and Keina.
I suddenly want to push Landon but what he said earlier played in my mind like a song. We will try. For a better us.
I looked at Landon and back over his shoulder before I close my eyes and finally felt his lips against mine then the crowd cheered.
🍷🗼🍷
Later that day, we found ourselves in the hospital. Mom is in the operating room while we are waiting outside.
I keep pacing back and forth in front of the operating room, silently praying for th success of operation. Nang mapagod ay umupo ako sa upuan sa gilid.
Hindi ako mapakali. Natatakot ako. Kinakabahan ako dahil baka may mangyaring hindi maganda. I'm playing with my hands when suddenly someone grab my hand and intertwined it with his.
He smiled at me reassuringly that everything will fall on their right places.
But it's not.
Someone came out of the operating room. The operation was unsuccessful.
That night, at 11:25, mom died.
+++
hi. this was the 2nd to the last chapter. if you wanter to read the last chapter of the story, you can read it here:
http://yjcollins.blogspot.com/2020/04/trente-is-it-us-ending.html
or you can type on the search box:
www.yjcollins.blogspot.com
happy reading!