It was something of a relief when Xavier awoke alone, memories coming back along with a smash of shame to his guts. He'd broken down, probably frightened Mason and honestly ruined any chance he had with Vincent. He'd laid in bed for a while, just wallowing in self-pity before his other thoughts became too much to ignore. Standing the raven went to the kitchen and found a note from Mason, the brunette had apologised as he'd been called out for something or other and would return as quickly as possible. Xavier wondered what would be going through their heads.
Pity most likely.
They would both know to an extent what had happened to him in the past since they'd seen him shirtless and all. Gritting his teeth Xavier rubs at his stinging eyes, refusing to let himself cry again.
It had been easy enough to repress his past once he'd been saved, sure he was constantly paranoid and on alert but he wasn't always thinking about what had been done to him. Now after yesterday he just couldn't stop, the more the thoughts rise the more his body shakes and the desire to run grows. Denver must be close, close enough to send Travis after him.
Remember The word echoes in the raven's head, Denver's commanding tone having him whine as he pulls on his hair.
As if he'd be able to forget all that shit.
Taking a few deep breaths Xavier heads towards the front door, the house having started to feel too claustrophobic. The people at the hospital, who had wanted him to return regularly, had said he needed to find closure. Sighing Xavier opens the door, the force of the wind outside almost pulling the handle from his hand as it flings open. The weather was ever changing as usual, when he'd woken the skies were already grey despite the bright blue they'd been the day before.
Pulling the door shut behind himself the raven heads towards the church, thinking maybe if he was in a holy place and spilled his guts that might do something for his mental state. Walking in the teen lets his fingers run over the tops of the chairs as he wanders down the aisle.
"Oh heavenly father I have come here today for guidance." He mutters softly, honestly just talking to the air as he knew he wouldn't receive a response. Even if he deeply needed one. Reaching the podium Xavier turns and looks out on to the room, once again pitying the poor people who would come here and believe that their prayers were actually being heard. Unable to help it Xavier feels a slightly manic laugh slip from his lips as he twirls to face that ridiculous statue.
"If you are real then you sure are one hell of a dick! When have you ever, ever been there for me? Where were you when Denver tortured me, no before that when my brother and I were abandoned?!" Xavier feels his voice getting louder, feels the hysterics coming on but he can't hold back. Hearing nothing in response Xavier shouts in anger, desperation peaks and he punches the plaster of the statue, the feeling of it crumbling so worth the lecture he'd surely get later.
Hearing familiar, spine chilling laughter Xavier spins on his heels, eyes wide and bright with fear as they lock on Denver standing in the middle of the hall. But what happened yesterday quickly surfaces in his mind bring back that manic laughter of his own. How delusional could he get? What else would his mind make him see?
"Want to play Little Xavier?" Denver asks, his voice slightly drowned out as the wind slams against the windows outside. He's walking forward, but so is Xavier, because hell why not fight his own mind? Getting in to a fighting stance Xavier tenses as Denver lunges forwards.
Hands reaching for his throat have the teen slipping off to the side before swinging his leg to try to catch Denver in his gut. But the other dodges as well, jumping with unexpected grace on to the chairs and beckoning Xavier with a clawed finger.
Quickly jumping up as well Xavier swipes his ankle low, trying to trip the other only to have Denver jump behind him. The sudden feeling of a foot against his back shoots pain through his spine as he's kicked to the ground. Grunting the raven rolls, getting away enough before he tries to stand, but Denver is right there already. Crouching down, head tilted to the side with his face split in two by a dark, demonic sneer. Sitting up enough Xavier swings his fists, trying to get a hit in but they're both caught and held so tightly he swears he feels bones grinding together.
Denver towers over him, pushing forward until Xavier is on his back and his hands are pinned above his head by the other. That chilling laugh rings loud once more as Denver celebrates his victory.
"I win again Little Xavier" He coos, his voice taunting as his eyes sparkle with mirth. His free hand moves to the raven's throat, pressing down just enough to cut of his airways. Sighing Xavier lets his body go limp, panic non-existent as he waits for the delusion to disappear, perhaps even to see someone else in its place.
But after several moments Denver is still there, his bodyweight still pinning him and his throat still very muchly constricted. Choking out a gasp for air Xavier twists his hips, eyes widening further as Denver chuckles and shakes his head, eyes flaring with malicious intent.
"Did you finally realise then? That I'm real?" He whispers lowly, leaning down to lick along the raven's neck before biting down hard. Xavier can't help his shout of pain as disgust seeps into his skin. "Realise now that you're all alone, those damn exorcists are nowhere near, and I'm quite mad at you for leaving my side."
Gooseflesh rises all over Xavier at the words, his blood running cold in fear. He doesn't think as he twists, bucks his hips desperately to try to get away. Doesn't realise his mistake until he feels something hard and hot pressing down on him from somewhere it really shouldn't be. Denver releases his throat, reaching in to his pant pocket he pulls out a knife and begins to slice down Xavier's shirt.
The pain when he nicks the skin doesn't even register for the teen as his breathing begins to hitch, his vision fuzz in panic.
"STOP!" He shouts, bloody begs as he pulls and pushes on his arms.
How was Denver so strong?
It was only one god damn hand holding him down!
Fuck!
His struggling only seems to entice Denver further however as he drops the knife on the floor and quickly undoes his belt. Pulling it from the loopholes he moves Xavier's hands and ties them together. Not waiting a moment as soon as he's let go Xavier swings his fists at the others face, hitting him hard enough that he's pushed back.
Rolling out from under Denver Xavier struggles to stand, his legs trembling too hard and the belt securing his hands together tightly. Running as soon as he succeeds he looks up and feels his heart squeeze as he realises he'd gone the wrong way.
"No!" he gasps with broken air, turning in a panic but it's too late. Denver is upon him instantly. Pushing him down so hard that when his head collides with the ground he sees sparks dance across his vision and his consciousness literally dim. It takes moments for the stunning effect to fade but when it does his clothes are already torn and removed, Xavier whines low in his throat, twisting more and more but freezing as cold metal presses against his adams apple.
"As arousing as all this has been it's about time you sat still." Denver growls, those crimson eyes alight with excitement and his chest heaving with his own laboured breaths. His head lowers once more, that slimy tongue coming out and trailing chills up Xavier's stomach to his nipples. A harsh bite has tears forming in the teens eyes but he tries to hold them back, searching for any possible way to escape.
But the way Denver's hand traces the knife along his neck, how that lingering trail of saliva cools on his shaking skin, it paralyses him.
He can't think clearly, mind clouding with pure fear and hopelessness. Taking a shaky breath Xavier pushes his head to the side, relinquishing the tight hold on his emotions as he sobs, the tears bursting uncontrollably. His eyes squeeze shut, knowing he should watch for a chance to escape but unable to make himself witness what was happening. Denver scoffs, pulling up slightly he releases Xavier's hands and moves his own to Xavier's flaccid length, toying with it before squeezing tightly. Biting down on his lips hard enough to draw blood Xavier's body shakes with sobs as Denver's finger trails southward.
Those claws scratch over his rim and have his body jerking away. As soon as they're moved away however Xavier feels Denver's heat pressing against it instead.
Before he can think, before he can even plead the other is buried inside. Xavier's scream of pain echoing around the walls as his skin tears. Blood seeping to provide some form of lubrication as Xavier thrashes. Sobs and screeches leave him, the feeling of the knife no longer enough to keep him still as he struggles, hands flying to punch Denver once more. Even though it's both fists, even though blood leaks from the corner of the others mouth from the hit, he just laughs manically. The silver of the knife flashes briefly as Denver slashes it across the teens chest, the sharp pain nothing compared to the pain caused when Denver pulls out and thrusts back in hard.
"So disgusting Little Xavier, can you feel it? You're bleeding, how filthy!" He coos again, his voice saturated with joy as he drops the knife and both hands dig into Xavier's thighs. Forcibly spreading them apart Denver starts up a rough pace, never easing as Xavier screams and sobs in pain, in humiliation. "This is what you were born for! You're mine!"
The words are manic, possessive as Denver leans down and licks up Xavier's tears, the laughter to his tone never quite disappearing as he thrusts harder still.
"Scream louder, thrash about, excite me more with your desperate struggles!" He practically commands, and Xavier can't disobey. All that was demanded was what his body was screaming for him to do anyway. It doesn't stop, no one comes no matter how loud he screams, no matter how desperately he begs.
Eventually his throat feels raw, eventually the pain becomes tolerable, and this man, this demon relishes it all the more. He angles a particular thrust just right, having Xavier's mouth open not with a scream but with a surprised gasp. The ravens face fills with a fierce blush of pure shame, hatred boils back to life aimed at himself as Denver repeatedly hits that spot.
Hell, how can it hurt so bad but still feel good? Xavier feels his teeth meet, having pieced his own lip in an effort to ignore it all. Eyes look anywhere else, fixating on the statue he notices with sick irony that he'd punched it right through the chest. And that's when he breaks, when is mind finally just cracks.
Of course no one was coming.
Why would they?
For scum like him?
Letting Denver rape him, gaining this sick pleasure from it. He was filth, no better than some whore.
Who would help scum like him?
No one.
Laughter ricochets around, high pitched and so jovial as Denver observes it all. "That's it Xavier! That's it, submit to me! Accept it! Despair, disappear, shatter into millions of pieces!" He's ranting, voice strained as he just keeps thrusting. Xavier watches him lean down, doesn't understand whatever sick chant he says as he licks the shell of his ear. "Relish in your downfall"
He feels his body going numb, his mind shutting down to it all. What had he been thinking, that he could ever be free was nothing more than some fever dream. There was no escaping this, escaping Denver. Xavier's vision darkens, not to the point of blindness, just enough that he can't see the light in the world anymore. His body rocks with Denver's movements, scrapes against the floor as they become more and more erratic. Sweat leaks down Denver's face, his eyes clouded with pleasure as he keeps chanting something or other that Xavier doesn't care to hear.
Then there's a sudden feeling of slick shooting in to his ass, Denver shuddering before dropping the raven's legs and pulling out. Xavier feels himself drift between blissful unawareness and tortured consciousness. Noticing when he's aware that Denver dresses him in his torn clothing, traces his body with his nail one last time before he's just gone.
Xavier lay there for god knows how long, his face stiff from the tears, stomach slick with blood and saliva. Body aching and hips protesting to every small movement.
But still he stands, stumbles his way out of the church as he ignores it all. He couldn't stay here anymore, he needed to return to Denver's house before he came back and hurt the othe-…
Fuck it why did he even care about those people?
Those pure beings who had tried to delude him in to thinking he had a place by their sides. Stumbling down the street Xavier vaguely realises that its started to rain, the water seems to wash his skin clean but it does nothing to clear his mind. He can feel those things again, crawling under his skin. He swears he can actually see it as it happens, but he ignores that too.
Making it to the end of the street Xavier sees the large tree from the day before and pauses. It was so hard to think about anything right now, he couldn't think about Kyle, or Mason. Couldn't try to focus on the sweet confession he'd received what felt like years ago.
No, those sweet memories would have to remain just that.
Feeling his knees finally give way Xavier collapses and feels dirt fill his mouth, hands not fast enough to catch his fall. He doesn't try to move, doesn't think he can anymore as the rain pelts down on his beaten body. Finally, his consciousness starts to fade, deciding at last that Xavier had endured enough. He lets oblivion take him gladly, praying to the devil himself that he'd be so blessed if he never had to wake again.