"Aaahhhhh!!!!"
"Whyyyyy!!!!!!"
"We all have to go eventually."
The cries of my siblings and the words of my uncle do nothing but irritate me. I've never wanted to go to funerals. However, this one is different, it's my mother's. Most people can get over tragedies in their lives through various means, whether it be through alcohol or faith.
I, on the otherhand don't deal so well. Gin Cinders, 37 years old, currently looking for work after being laid off along with hundreds of others due to online stores making actual ones go out of business. Single my entire life due to a couple bad experiences making me decide that romantic relationships are not worth it.
Trauma and stress is not something to be left alone, to be built up. It's a poison to the mind and can cripple it as well. I realize this yet....
"You ok?"
Hmmm.... my niece.... What's her name again?Alice?.... Alex? Too many names to remember.
"You do realize you're asking me if I'm ok at my moms funeral right." Gin
"Well yeah but.... you dont seem that.... upset." Nameless neice
"I'm good at holding things in even though I shouldn't." Gin
....Huh??? What's this awkward silence?
"Well, I gotta get going uncle Greg, see ya later." Nameless neice
Greg?
-few hours later-
Finally, they're all gone. Mother's grave.... right next to Dad's.... Why did they have to die? Why is it that the good things in life have to leave eventually, to disappear, to.... die. What right do I have to be here while they're gone.... I need to stop thinking... Its poisoning my mind.
I decided to go for a walk. Only thing keeping me from breaking down, but that's fine. As long as I look fine from the outside... That's all that matters. Hmmm? The old Faxworth bridge is still around, always gave me the creeps for some reason. I look over the small stone wall along the bridge and see the dried up riverbed below.
....."I guess this is as good as place as any." Gin