Maybe I should've just stayed in my world.
My entire body was paralyzed, but I could make out the shape of someone's face. This person is carrying me somewhere, but I can't make out their face. It didn't matter though. Nothing matters anymore. Killing someone that I cared about - someone that I loved - is something that I'll never be able to get over.
Maybe I can try killing myself once I regain control of my body.
"Don't let the demon control you."
When I wasn't thinking about anything, Leonna's words would start to flood into my head. I didn't want to imagine Xylvia's face drowning in sorrow because of Leonna, but hearing Leonna's final words didn't help me either. I couldn't think of anything else, so I just gave up and just let the thoughts overwhelm my head.
None of this would've happened if I had just controlled myself. I let my emotions get the best of me and I ended up letting the demon take control of me. Or...did the demon even do anything at all? Was it just me?
"iT's nOT yOu'RE FaUlt."
It isn't?
"THEy kiLlED yOU'Re pARenTs, sO it WAS jUStifIEd."
But, I killed Leonna.
"..."
...
"ArE yOU mAd?"
No, I'm just...upset.
"ARe yOU SurE?"
I don't know. Am I sure? No. I am sure. I'm not upset. I'm angry. I'm furious. This world gave me everything, but then it took it away from me. I killed Leonna. Xylvia will never forgive me. Everyone else will probably try to kill me. Gleam will want to kill me.
"sO WhAt aRe YOu gOInG tO Do AboUt iT?"
I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to do what I can to help. I'm going to take on Devil myself, I'm going to end this war, and then I'm going to take my own life.
"..."
This is the only way that I'll ever be able to repent, so I have to pay my debt.
"wHat AbOUt tHe CAt GiRl?"
Xylvia will never be able to forgive me for what I did. The least I can do for her though is make sure that this world is safe.
"i'M nOT On BoaRD WiTH yOU KiLliNg yOUrseLf, bUT i suPpOSe tHat YOu dO HaVE a PoINt in StOPPinG tHE WAr."
Well, I'm glad that you're somewhat agreeing with me.
All of a sudden, a bright light appeared out of nowhere and blinded my vision. I recognized that bright light...
Me and the person carrying me were teleported to a brand new landscape. The ground was covered with brightly colored flowers. The sky was a perfect blue and many colorful insects were buzzing about all over the place. There was a nice little cabin up on a hill with a deep woods right behind it. We were right next to a pretty lake as well. The temperature felt soothing as well. Wait...felt...wasn't I just...?
"It looks like the paralysis finally wore off."
Now it made sense. Now I knew who was carrying me. That bright light and goddess-like voice could only be produced from on person.
"Gleam?" I looked up.
"In the flesh." she said, smiling.
"Wh-What the hell happened? Where are we?"
"It's alright, don't worry. This is my house."
"You're...house?"
"Yeah. I come here whenever I get tired of the city."
"Oh..."
"..."
"..."
"There's something else you want to ask, is there." Gleam said.
"Y-Yeah. Is...Leonna..."
Gleam shook her head.
"I'm sorry Hiro, but when I found you she was already gone."
"Oh...well, I guess I should've figured."
"It's not your fault Hiro. Your parents were laying dead right in front of you. The way you reacted isn't anything unnatural. The demon's powers overwhelmed you. The best you can do is just mourn for her and keep fighting."
"I plan to. But once this war is over, my life will be over as well."
"I wish that you wouldn't say things like that."
She started to walk up the hill while she was still carrying me.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked.
"Because if I left you there, then the entire army would've ended up killing you. The worst part is that they already told the people about your demon powers. I'm afraid that not even I would be able to convince them. Well, at least all of them."
"But aren't you their goddess?"
"Just because I'm their goddess doesn't mean that everyone believes what I say. There are plenty of soldiers, including the commander himself, that try and convince me to change my mind about some things. I don't blame them though. It's only natural for people to argue. As long as you have good reason in doing so, then you're not wrong. After all, nothing is absolutely perfect in any existence."
"Even heaven?" I asked.
"Even heaven."
Honestly, I think that having anything perfect would be boring. If everything was perfect, then what would be the point in striving for more? If your life is already perfect, then there wouldn't be anything else for you to try. You would end up living a boring life. A perfect, boring life.
This was one of the reason why I hated living in my world (or maybe it was the whole reason itself). My parents wanted me to live a perfect life. A life with no worries. If you have a lofe with no worries, however, then where would your motivation come from. When you worry about things, you start to get ideas as to how you can fix them. That's where motivation comes from.
Therefore, loving a perfect life is something that you should never do. It's a good thing that perfect doesn't exist.
Gleam carried me all the way up to the hill and opened the door to the cottage.
"There's no need for you to worry," Gleam said. "Nobody will be able to find this place, so you're safe with me. I promise."
"That's not really what I'm upset about."
"Don't worry. Once you get that power of yours under control, you'll be able to completely obliterate the entire Dark Territory itself. And after that, it's all up to you."
It's all...up to me. I could either end my own life, or try and apologize to Xylvia. Maybe I should just do both.
"Oh, and I should probably tell you this. Someone else is in here, and I think that she'll be excited to see you in the flesh."
Someone excited to see me?
Gleam opened the door and someone suddenly came running up to Gleam, giving her a tight hug.
"MOM, YOU'RE BACK!!!" the girl said.
"Calm down ok. I have a visitor, so I need to put him down first."
Honestly, I could've just walked on my own.
When Gleam put me down, I was finally able to get a good look at the girl. However, when I saw her, my jaw completely snapped off and fell to the depths of the abyss.
"HIRO!!!" the girl shouted, giving me a big hug.
I couldn't believe who I was seeing right now.
"Shana?"