Chereads / The Hopeless Hero (Draft) / Chapter 58 - Get Over Yourself

Chapter 58 - Get Over Yourself

"There is only one way for you to control that weapon." Gleam said to me.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You have to learn to accept yourself and your past. Only then will you be able to control the fire within you."

Learn to accept myself...and my past.

"Ok, got it," I said. "I'll make this work. I know I will."

"Just...be careful," Gleam said. "The demon won't go easy on you. You may have been it's chosen wielder, but only people with unbeatable willpower are able to control the demon's fullest power."

The only way that I'll be able to beat the Army of Darkness is if I use the full power of your Devil's Blade, so I have to get the demon within under control.

"Ok, so what do I do?" I asked.

"You need to let the demon inside your soul." Gleam said.

"How do I do that?"

"Just close your eyes and draw the sword, then let the thoughts consume your mind, relax your body, and let yourself fall."

Let myself...fall? So, I just have to fall down?

I did as Gleam said and closed my eyes as I drew my Devil's Blade. I took a few deep breaths, let my thoughts consume my mind, relaxes my body, then I let myself fall.

SLAM!

"OW!!" I screeched.

I face-planted on the ground and quickly covered my face as I groaned in pain.

"Fall backwards." Gleam said.

She could've said so the first time.

I repeated everything again, but this time I let myself fall backwards.

I expected the back of my head to hit the ground, but instead I felt myself splashing in water. The water, however, looked like ashes. The ashes spread everywhere after I "splashed" into the ashes.

Beyond the ashes was a black void filled with bright and beautiful stars. Each star looked something was moving inside it, but as I took a closer look I realised how familiar every star looked...

"THe MemORieS oF yOur PAsT," the demon suddenly said, making his dark "appearance" right behind me. "FiLLeD WitH DrEAd aND saDNeSs...aND nOT a SHreD oF HappInESs."

The demon was right. Even though the stars shined brightly above me, every single one of them was a demonic shade of black.

Well, almost all of them.

There was a small group of stars that shined a bright white, yellow, and blue. The mixture of colors and emotions inside each of those stars was a stunning site to see.

"I sEe tHAt yOu WerE AbLE To fiNd sOME joY iN YoUR lifE." the demon said.

"If I had never been summoned to this world, then I don't know where my life would've gone..."

A vague image of a noose tied to nothing took form right in front of me.

"I guess I actually do know where it would've gone." I said.

I focused my attention back at the small group of colorful stars, but as I followed them I realized that they led to darker and darker colored stars.

"Leonna..." I whispered to myself.

I have no right to even mention her name anymore. I'm broken, unstable, insecure, and desperate. Nobody would ever want someone who had more cons than pros. I'm nothing but a hopeless being. Someone that has wasted their life not doing anything about their problems. Someone who's afraid of being left behind. Someone that has uncontrollable hatred.

I'm nothing but a nuisance to anyone and anything. Gleam made the wrong choice in summoning me here. If I was never even born, than nothing would've gone wrong. Leonna would still be alive. Xylvia wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. The Army of Darkness wouldn't have tried to invade the Town of Colors. The Devil's Blade would've never been found.

Everything would've been much better without me.

"I FeEl lIke yOU dON't EveN NEeD mE," the demon said. "I'M nOT eveN SpeaKInG tO YOu, YeT YoU'Re alREadY SucCuMBinG to DeSPaiR."

"Well, I guess we're both right about me then." I said.

"I wonder how long it's been," I asked myself. "Has it been many years, or has it only been a few seconds?"

I've spent god-knows-how-long inside my own head, watching the events of my life over and over again. Like watching a movie that you could never get tired of.

"WhY dO yOu ChOOsE nOT tO bE poSiTIvE?" the demon asked.

"You've asked me this question millions of times," I said to the demon. "And why are you the one who's asking me that? Aren't you supposed to be a demon?"

"AnD AreN'T yOu SupPOseD tO be TryInG tO ObTAiN mY FulL PowErS?"

That's right. I'm supposed to be fighting the Army of Darkness right now. And after that, I was supposed to go and apologize to my party. Then after that, I'm supposed to take my life and disappear from this world.

"You're right," I said. "I guess I do need to get going now."

"YoU dOn't LoOk LikE YoU're AfraID," the demon said. "Do YoU NOt FeAR DeaTh?"

"Why should I? If I going to die anyways, then I have no reason to fear death."

"YOu'Re NoT bEyONd SavInG Hiro. ThERe'S NotHinG iN YoU tO SavE AnyMOrE."

A jet-black fire engulfed my entire body. I could even feel it on the inside of me.

My life doesn't mean anything. It never has and it never will. This is what I was born to do. I'm here only to stop this war and die. I won't regret my choice. This is the only thing that I can do after all. I'll make sure that I make the most out of this useless, hopeless life and save everyone from becoming like me.

After all, I am...The Hopeless Hero.