27
Got.
In which Sebastian supports Mira.
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WESTON WAS DEAD AND I FELT a strong sense of heartbreak. My first love was no longer alive, and all my hatred towards him vanished to the point that I realised that I didn't hate him, I only hated what he did to me. And he didn't even get to know.
Sebastian was out of the operating room, recovering slowly but he was out of it, not talking but simply holding my hand. I stared at the love of my life through teary eyes and I felt like what I was feeling was wrong, like it was bad to be thinking of what I could've said to him before he died.
I forgive you.
Like I had always predicted, talking and driving would be his downfall. As soon he ended the call with me, he crashed into a loading truck and he succumbed to his injuries one hour after surgery. I had been called by the hospital since I was the last person he called but since I was on a flight back to London, I didn't pick it up.
It's all my fault.
He shouldn't have been talking to me, but there I was, wanting to take a trip down memory lane. It's all my fault. I knew that the next two weeks would be torture for me. December 26th was the day he died, and January 8th was when my mother died.
I had two people to mourn this time around.
"Mira," Sebastian drawled, squeezing my hand weakly. "What's wrong?"
My eyes met his and I was overtaken with the emotions I was feeling. His family was arriving at the hospital soon, so I could get out of his hair and have some time to myself. I didn't even know how to register that he was truly dead.
When Ada had called me to tell me to check the news, I instantly felt dizzy and couldn't believe the words that were displayed on the screen.
Weston Caldwell, son of Hollywood mogul Declan Caldwell, dead in a fatal car crash.
"Mira." His voice was soft and too quiet for me to hear on top of the sound of my raging thoughts. "Talk to me."
I moved my chair closer to his bed, raising my arm to press my hand against his cheek. "We can talk about it later." He gave me a charming smile, and I found it fascinating that an hour after surgery, he still managed to look as good as the first day we met. "Save your energy."
He leaned into my hand, barely puckering his lips against my palm before he nodded, squeezing my other hand. "Stay at your place tonight, I don't want you to be alone."
Playfully rolling my eyes, I placed my index finger on his lips, indicating that he definitely needed to stop talking. "I wasn't going to anyway," hearing his family's voices, I stood up to kiss his lips. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, okay?"
He nodded but leaned in for another peck. "Love you."
As I passed the foot of his bed, the door opened to reveal his parents who were grinning ear to ear. Athena's, however, fell slightly when she registered my countenance that gave all my emotions away.
Wyatt advanced towards his son, but she held back and raised her hand to hold the side of my face. "Are you okay, darling?" she whispered quietly, her blue eyes filled with concern.
She took one glance to Wyatt and Sebastian and gestured for me to step out with her head as she led the way out of the door. I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, feeling my eyes burn.
"I found out earlier that my ex-boyfriend, Weston, died." Recognition dawned on her face. "It's just hitting me really hard."
Without saying anything, she stepped forward and brought me into the tightest hug she could muster. At that moment, I was so grateful for her. It was like I had a mother figure again and it meant the world that she was there for me. She was kind to me from the moment we met and made me a part of the Harrington family even though Sebastian and I had only known each other for a little over three months.
She pulled back and met my gaze. "If you need anything, anything at all, you call me okay?"
I wiped my eyes and nodded before giving me one more hug. After a while, I needed to leave the hospital and Athena reassured me once more that everything would be okay and that they would all be there for me if I needed a support system.
Sebastian was my first support system, but I would be looking after him for the next couple of weeks as he healed. And, I couldn't even face him because of the overwhelming guilt I felt mourning Weston whilst being with him.
It was a while until I was able to stop crying and I remained in the parking lot for a couple more minutes before I decided to go to a place I hadn't been to in three years. I was a bundle of shaking nerves when he opened the door and gave me a deep frown.
"It took him dying for you to finally come to see us."
His voice was low but I could still hear him through the car window. I blinked harshly before I stepped out and returned the frown. When Weston and I were together, I was extremely close with his parents and when he cheated on me, I disappeared on them.
After a while, they stopped calling since I wouldn't pick up the calls of anyone in the Caldwell family. It made me feel bad since I loved his parents, but I couldn't face his family since I had nothing to say that would make them feel better. If I stayed in contact with them, I would see Weston too and that wasn't what I needed after losing his baby and him cheating on me.
"I couldn't—," I averted my gaze to the plants that decorated the front lawn. "I didn't know how to be around you after what happened."
I heard the shaky breath that he emitted and he ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair before bringing his hand to his mouth to mask the heartbroken sounds that began falling from his lips.
Gingerly walking towards him, I kept it together as he slowly accepted my hug and wrapped his arms around me tightly. It was like for a while and once Declan got his bearings, he stepped back with bloodshot hazel eyes.
At that moment, he looked so much like Weston and I had to will myself to keep it together. He brought a swift hand to wipe his eyes and jutted his thumb over his shoulder to bring my attention to the inside of the house.
"Come in and I'll put the kettle on for tea."
With that, he turned on his heel and allowed me to follow in his pursuit as I looked at the pictures that were hanging in the hallway. Each told a story and I was surprised that there was a picture of me, Weston and his parents still hanging.
He stopped once he saw me examining the photograph. "West told us to keep it up because it would remind him of the happy times in your relationship. It offended his other girlfriends, but you were the one for him."
I wrapped my arms around my midriff and bit down on my lip. "I thought that once upon a time."
His lips curved upwards into a sympathetic smile. "He hurt you so I don't blame you for not seeing us, but we didn't just love you for being his girlfriend, you were a part of this family."
Silence settled in the air before I spoke. "I can't believe he's gone." I took a deep breath. "He was on the phone to me, did you know that? I hung up when I realised he was driving, but I should've hung up sooner. If I did he would still be alive."
Declan looked like he was breaking all over again. "What was the last thing he said to you?"
I'd never forget what he said to me. "I'll always love you."
He held a closed fist to his mouth and screwed his eyes shut. I watched with teary eyes and it made me want to go back to when we were on the phone call. I wouldn't have picked the call up. I would rather hurt his feelings than have him dead because of me.
"Don't blame yourself, Mira. West knew better."
Despite what Declan said, I couldn't help but blame myself.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next morning, I was in the ICU with a cup of coffee in my hand as I stood outside of his hospital room. I had cried myself dry last night so I was fine. I wanted to keep it together for him. Opening the door, I was met with the sight of a shirtless Sebastian being helped up by a doctor.
He was walking slowly and I couldn't help but smile. He was alive and well, which was all that mattered to me. I didn't have to worry anymore about losing him before I had the chance of loving him.
"Morning, baby." He rendered me with a lazy grin and let go of the doctor once he was able to take small steps by himself.
My response was cut off by the harsh cough that fell from his lips before the doctor rushed to sit him back down. Sebastian winced and leaned back. I noticed the incision on his chest and made a move to sit next to him.
His growing beard made him look rugged but handsome nevertheless. "How are you feeling?"
My fingers intertwined with his as the doctor decided to give us some time alone. "Better. I'm taking things easy." Slowly leaning forward, he gave me a soft kiss and took my breath away. "Did you sleep last night?" he asked when his fingers gently brushed under my eyes.
I couldn't lie even if I wanted to. "No. I was with Weston's parents."
The confusion was etched on his face and I took it upon myself to explain before he jumped to conclusions.
"West died yesterday."
His eyes softened and his grip on my hand tightened. "Oh," one hand cradled my face and his thumb caressed my cheek. "I could tell something was wrong."
My hand curled around his wrist. "You're not upset that I'm crying over him?"
Sebastian stared at me incredulously. "I'd be upset if you weren't, Mira. You loved him once upon a time. He was your first love and losing someone you have many memories with isn't easy. I could never be mad at you for caring about him."
I kissed his palm. "I love you, you know that?"
His grin lit up the room, instantly lifting the mood. "Yeah, I do." He rested his forehead on mine and placed multiple kisses on my lips. "I'm not letting you go. You're stuck with me forever."
I laughed. "We've been together for nearly three months and you're already thinking about forever?"
He chuckled with me. "Well, I fell in love with you pretty quick considering the fact that we've spent almost every day together since we met."
I was about to kiss him again when the door opened. Looking over my shoulder, I was shocked to see a disbelieving James standing on the threshold of the room. Sebastian gasped and my eyes widened.
He looked like hell; he had bruises all over his face and his leg was back in a cast.
He was alive.
"What the hell happened to you?" Sebastian spoke desperately, but his question was discarded quickly by James.
"You're still alive, Ash." His eyes were wide with uninhibited relief. "I thought I'd never see you again." With the help of his crutches, he walked into the room and didn't make it as far the bed before I got up and hugged him tightly.
He groaned a laugh. "Easy, Mira." I pulled back and grinned at him.
"How are you here? I thought you were dead. I was so worried."
He exhaled deeply. "I'm on leave because I'm no longer fit for duty. But let's not talk about me." He turned his attention back to Sebastian. "I was so sure that you wouldn't take the operation," he shook his head as if he still couldn't believe Sebastian was alive. "I thought you were gone. But, Lena told me that you were at the hospital and I rushed over here."
Sebastian looked like he wanted to stand up so I helped him before James closed the distance between them.
"I thought you were dead." He mumbled whilst he hugged his best friend.
"I was close to it," James responded with a deep frown. "Harry saved my life this time around." Harry was Kaia's husband and Sebastian's brother in law.
The pair pulled back and Sebastian eased himself back on the bed, slowly smiling. The rest of the morning was spent by James filling us in on all that happened in the past month and a half and even though I felt happy in the presence, I knew it wouldn't last for long.
It was January 1st, which meant the anniversary of my mother's death was right around the corner. It would be absolute hell for me, just like it was every year and despite all the people around me, I couldn't have felt more alone.
Once James left to get a snack from the vending machine, Sebastian's hand crossed the distance between us and linked with mine.
"Let me hold you." He uttered quietly, chucking his covers back to accommodate me.
I immediately shook my head in fear that I would hurt him. I couldn't cuddle with him a day after his operation let alone lay my head on his chest. "I don't want to hurt you, Sebastian."
He waved his hand dismissively at my words and pulled the covers back over him. "At least come closer, I want to be close to you."
I chose to lie down on the bed and placed my head on his lap, instantly feeling his fingers come down to play with my hair. Closing my eyes, I listened to what he said next.
"You're one of the strongest people I know, Mira. And if you feel you can't be strong right now, I want you to know that I can be the person you need. I can hold you up and give you a shoulder to cry on. I can be everything you need if you let me. Don't allow your grief to consume you. From experience, it won't do you any good. You showed up for me so I'll do the same."
The tears that began falling wet the blanket that covered his legs but he wiped at my cheek.
"I'm here for you."