29
Addicted.
In which Sebastian is addicted.
SEBASTIAN'S ARM RESTED HEAVILY AROUND MY waist and his head was tucked comfortably into the crook of my neck. I was awake, but he was sleeping soundly and I found my eyes darting towards the alarm clock he had on his bedside table — it was useless as an alarm since he would just slap snooze whenever it rang, but it functioned just as well as a clock. It was three in the morning and it had been two hours since we both initially fell asleep.
I, however, woke up because the thoughts that were roaming in my mind made it virtually impossible to fall back asleep, even with Sebastian holding me. That was how I knew that I needed to allow myself to think about it, and acknowledge it.
I even utilised suitable coping mechanisms at the suggestion of my therapist. It helped most of the time, but this time was different. Physically, I was good, terrific even since Sebastian was right with me, but mentally.
Oh, it was a whole different story.
Whilst therapy was an immense help, I still couldn't stop everything eating away at me. The one thing that was at the forefront of my mind had been Weston's funeral. It was happening within the week and honestly, I didn't know how I was going to feel. Funerals were always a downer.
But, at least James and Ada would be there with me. I wasn't expecting Sebastian to come with me — even though I'd love to have him there — since he and Weston never liked each other and I didn't want to disrespect West in that way. I had only ever been to one funeral before and that one was excruciating to get through. But then again, it had been my own mother's.
I was so immersed in my own thoughts that I didn't realise that Sebastian was slowly waking up. He stirred and he was too hot against me. I could feel the light sheen of sweat that lined his skin and he pulled away slowly.
"How long have you been awake?" he mumbled sleepily, his voice deep and velvety. Oh, his sleepy voice was beautiful. His hand flattened against my stomach and he gently turned me around in his arms. "Are you okay?"
His eyes were half-closed and I stared up at him for a moment before answering with a thick voice. "About two hours." I cleared my throat. "I'm okay."
At that, his lips turned down into a frown and his hand travelled down the length of my bare arm, warming me up underneath his hot touch. "Okay. We can cuddle again, then." He sat up and pulled me into his arms, allowing me to rest my head on his bare chest.
His heartbeat was steady, much better than it had been, and his scent was subtle, a mixture between his shower products and his cologne. Hugo Boss.
"What's on your mind, pumpkin?" he spoke quietly, drawing figure eights on my skin.
Honesty was always the best policy, and since Sebastian and I were making an effort to mend ourselves and our relationship, I decided to tell him the truth. "I keep thinking about Weston's funeral."
He squeezed my arm gently in a gesture of consolation and I sighed into his chest. "Funerals are always hard. Think of it as honouring his life — that way it isn't a mourning of his death but a celebration of his life."
I instantly calmed down and smiled softly at the fact he always knew what to say. But, whilst we were on the subject of Weston, I felt that it was the only opportunity to ask what I'd been wondering about ever since I saw him at that party. A few long beats of silence passed before I mustered up the courage and spoke.
"What happened between the two of you?"
For a moment, he tensed but sighed a few seconds later. "Weston's dad tried to ruin my parents' marriage. He was in love with my mum for a while and I hated him by default. It didn't make it better that he stole my girlfriend in year eleven. I didn't like his principles."
I was shocked to hear that Declan has been in love with Athena once upon a time. His marriage to Weston's mum seemed strong, but I guessed people put on the face they wanted you to see, not their true form. The second part to Sebastian's confession wasn't all that surprising.
Weston has always been a bit of a player — he had this bad boy vibe that I was fatally attracted to. I wished I knew to stay away from him. My life would have turned out completely differently had I not met him all those years ago in university.
"James was still friends with him after that?" It seemed surprising since they loved each other fiercely. The brother-like bond was unbreakable and the connection that formed between them was as thick as blood. They depended on each other and I hadn't seen a friendship so beautiful before.
Sebastian stopped moving his fingers and instead started playing with my hair. I knew he was trying to get me to fall back asleep so I could stop with all the questions. He was that sly.
"James didn't owe me anything back then, and whilst I realise my initial reason for my hatred of him was silly, the second reason definitely warranted my feelings." He sighed and sunk into the pillows. "But, I would never make James choose between keeping our friendship or his with Weston. I love him far too much for that."
I tilted my head to level my gaze with his. His warm honey eyes stared into mine and I smiled softly when he pressed his lips tenderly to the tip of my nose. Sebastian was such a caring person and warmth blossomed in my chest at the thought that he felt the same way I did.
And at that moment, all those past relationships that failed seemed worth it. I mean, no one enjoyed heartbreak, but looking at him now, it suddenly dawned on me. I had to experience all of that heartbreak so when the broken pieces of my heart mended again — in a different order since each ordeal changed me as a person — it would align perfectly to shape me into the person capable and worthy of loving the Sebastian Harrington.
His eyelids were drooping and he seemed so tired. He shouldn't have stayed up with me, I thought when a yawn slowly slithered its way to me, passing on the tiredness. The good thing was Sebastian had taken my mind off Weston and managed to make me sleepy all over again.
God his cuddles were out of this world.
"Sweet dreams, pumpkin."
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
When I woke up the next morning, Sebastian was still deep asleep. I knew he deserved the extra sleep since he was still recovering from his operation and definitely didn't need to be stressing himself out so early. So after I managed to untangle him from me, I quietly made my way out of my room and into the kitchen once I brushed my teeth.
As I was at home rather than his penthouse, Ada's crouched figure came into view. She was rummaging through the cupboards and almost bumped her head on the interior when I spoke.
"Morning, Ads."
She let out a small yelp and flattened a hand over her blonde hair. Her glasses, perched low on her nose, almost fell off when she grinned at me. "Hey, love." She shut the cupboard and gave the kitchen a quick once over. "Have you seen the Crunchy Nut?"
If there was anything Ada loved more than anything, it'd be Crunchy Nut cereal. It was like an addiction and we had at least three boxes at a time. I pointed to the top of the fridge.
"It's behind the Rice Krispies." I laughed, knowing the reason she didn't see them was that her glasses weren't even on properly. It was times like these that I really missed. Ada was such an important person in my life and life had gotten so hectic that we barely spent time together. We made it a habit to text each other every morning, but we rarely spent days together like we used to.
Overcome with emotion, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her. She was surprised for a moment but slowly hugged me back. "Are you okay, Mira?"
I nodded and allowed her to get the cereal. She was pouring it into a bowl — because the cereal definitely went before the milk — when I spoke. "Yeah. I just — we haven't spent time together recently, and I miss it."
Her green eyes gleamed when she grinned at me. "We've both been crazy busy, so I understand. I felt like shit when Weston died and the whole fiasco with Sebastian, I don't even know how you're holding up. How are you?"
I sighed and made a move to start making the coffee. "I don't even know. I'm trying to deal with it all and I'm doing okay but I could be better." She frowned at that and I mustered up a reassuring smile. "I can't believe that Weston is actually dead. It's crazy to think that I'd never see him again at all."
She placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a side hug. "You've been through so much, but you're so strong." Her lips pressed against my cheek softly and she sniffled when she grabbed a spoon. "Promise me that we'll always be there for each other no matter how crazy life gets."
This was what I missed so much. "I promise — I love you." She returned the sentiment and I felt that we needed to brighten up the conversation. After having a brief heart to heart, I wanted her to fill me in on everything. "What about you? How are things with you?"
Her lips lifted up into a bashful smile and a thin sheen of red laced her cheeks. "Well — there's this guy at my workplace and he's the sweetest. He's an intern and his name is Jett." I cooed at how coy she seemed. "He's been dropping hints that he wants to take me out on a date, but I just get so flustered around him."
The scent of coffee filled the kitchen and I poured the dark liquid into a mug. "That's to be expected. I mean, I was a mess in front of Sebastian because I developed a crush on him so quickly. But, if you both like each other then maybe ask him out for lunch one day and let things go from there."
Ada nodded and took a moment to eat her cereal. "I'll keep you updated with the tea."
I was slowly sipping on my brewed hot coffee when Sebastian came out of my bedroom, dressed in the clothes he came in last night. Since I was making more of an effort to stay at my own place and see Ada more, Sebastian was having to come with me to cuddle. Even though the cuddle pact had run its course, we still had a silent agreement that I was more than grateful for.
That was the perks of having a boyfriend. He could be my human teddy bear and other half at the same time.
"Morning." He muttered quietly, giving Ada a quick smile and leaning into me to press a brief kiss to my lips. He manoeuvred around me to pour himself some coffee. "How are you, Ada?"
She lifted her head from where she was sat on the small table in the kitchen and rendered him with a bright smile. "I'm doing good, Sebastian. And you?"
He threw her a glance over his shoulder as he mixed sugar into his coffee. "Not too bad honestly. I just want to heal fully so I'm able to fly out and get business up as usual."
Once they started talking about finance and accounting, I tuned out since I was hungry and needed to focus on food and food only. I whipped up avocado toast and eggs for Sebastian and I. And when I placed the plate in front of him, he took a moment to look at Ada's retreating figure.
She was leaving the kitchen and smirked at us over her shoulder. "Just remember that we eat in here."
Sebastian chuckled as his hands settled on my waist, pulling me closer. "Our first time is definitely not going to be in a kitchen, pumpkin." He murmured quietly, slanting his lips over mine as he initiated a slow, deep kiss.
My arms linked behind his neck as he brought one hand to cup my chin to tilt my head to the side. His tongue passed the seam of my lips and I could faintly taste the coffee. Damn, Sebastian was a darn good kisser.
Desire had pooled at the pit of my stomach and I had to remind myself to bring it down a notch and heed Ada's wise words. When he pulled away leisurely, a lazy grin was plastered on his face.
"I'm addicted to you."
The obnoxious grumble of my stomach reminded me of the breakfast that was going to go cold soon, but I planted a soft kiss to his lips again. "The feeling is mutual."
I turned back to the countertop to hold my plate in my hand as Sebastian followed suit. He took a seat in front of me on the table and brought the toast to his mouth. Breakfast was filled with silence and once we cleaned up, Sebastian was at the door, holding his phone to his ear.
"I'll see you at dinner." He mouthed, cupping his hand over the microphone of his phone before hurriedly laying a kiss on my lips. He had to rush to his office since a work emergency had come up, which meant he was cutting our morning short.
I closed the door gently behind him and lifted my phone into my hand to check the time. It was 7:15, and I had just under an hour to get to work too. Business was going extremely well and I was more than overjoyed that Esmeralda's was thriving. It meant that I was honouring my mother in the way I'd always promised and it made me feel proud.
I was never the sort of person to make goals and achieve them. And at the encouragement of both my family and friends, I was able to tick one more goal off my checklist.
On my way to the shower, I passed Ada's room and rapped on the door with a loosely closed fist. She was sitting on her bed, running a comb through her hair as she multitasked and slid her feet into the heeled boots.
Her green eyes lifted to meet mine and she nodded her head in the direction behind me. "Did Sebastian leave already?"
I nodded and leaned against the frame of her door. "Work emergency. I'm going to head out soon, and wanted to see if you want me to get you some dinner on the way back."
She shook her head and chuckled to herself for a moment. She hopped on her foot before balancing and a weary smile dotted her lips. "I'm going to try woman up and ask Jett out on a date."
I grinned in a display of support and flitted my gaze over her outfit. It complimented her figure well and was still within the lines of workplace guidelines. Damn, that's my best friend. I voiced my approval and she shyly directed her gaze to her black boots.
"Oh? This old thing?" she tucked an errant strand of her wavy hair behind her ear and brought her shoulders into a shrug. "Hopefully, it pays off."
I laughed before pivoting on my heel and headed straight for the shower.
Ever since meeting Sebastian, my punctuality had become impeccable and I managed to open up the restaurant on time. The rest of the day went fairly quickly and when dinner time rolled around, it was quite busy.
I was slaving in the kitchen and found that cooking — like it always had been — was therapeutic in a way and took my mind off Weston's upcoming funeral.
It was almost the end of dinner time when I stepped back to allow my chefs to finish the orders. I went into my office where an awaiting Sebastian was sitting on my chair and taking out the boxes in the bag.
"Thought we could change it up and get Ethiopian food today — it's not too heavy." He spoke, scooting to the side when I brought a chair to sit beside him.
As a chef, I'd had cuisines of almost every country in the world, and Ethiopian, along with Mexican and Chinese were by far an all-time fave. But then again, I loved food and would eat anything.
"I know this is a bit last minute, but there's a fundraiser happening at the hospital I got my operation at, St Thomas, and I'd really like to have you there with me." He tilted his head to smile softly at me.
"I wouldn't miss it." I replied honestly, feeling warmth surge through me like an electric jolt when he leaned over and gave me a kiss that made me dizzy and lose my bearings. I stared at him with an audible gulp.
He smirked and let his eyes linger on my lips as he took the cutlery in his hands. "Keep looking at me like that and I won't be responsible for what happens, pumpkin."
"Oh yeah?" My stomach bottomed out and even I was surprised at my newfound boldness.
He let my response go unanswered until we had finished eating and took my hand silently after I double-checked the restaurant, changed my clothes and closed up for the night.
My employees had done a good job, especially the manager and I was thinking of giving him a pay rise when Sebastian pulled me into his arms against his car.
"What do you say we go back to my place?" he asked, sending me a silent message with his eyes. Oh. It'd been a long time since I last engaged in what he was suggesting, but at that moment instead of thinking about all the good times with Nate, my roommate, the only person on my mind was Sebastian.
The race back to his penthouse filled me with anxiety and overwhelming excitement. It felt right.
I was so in love with Sebastian and couldn't wait to take that next step.