23
Smile.
In which Sebastian reassures Mira.
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Three weeks later.
SEBASTIAN LEANED UP ON HIS ELBOWS, a small grin decorating his face as his short, rugged hair stuck up in every direction possible. He looked at me through hooded eyes and he was a sight to behold with his teeth latching onto his bottom lip.
"What did you say?"
"I said," dragging out the letters, I pulled open the curtains in his room. "I'm taking your lazy ass out for some fun. God, you sleep more than me."
He chuckled and dropped back onto the pillows. "Baby, get out of my room."
Sighing, I dropped my bag on the floor and watched as he tried to go back to sleep. It was past midday and I didn't have to be back at the restaurant until 6:30, which meant I could spend the entire day with him, something I hadn't done in three weeks since we had become so busy.
"Sebastian Maxwell Harrington. Get up." I demanded, beginning to pull at his covers as he turned on his front, digging his face into the pillows.
"Oh no," he dramatically exclaimed with mock fear. "My full name, how scary."
An exasperated sigh fell from my lips. He was purposely being difficult since I had done the same thing almost a month ago when he tried getting me to go kayaking. I was scared of capsizing and made the decision to take a rain check on that date.
With a firm tug on his covers, I pulled them clean off and revealed that he was dressed in nothing but pyjama trousers despite it being winter.
"Mira Belle Casey," he grumbled, tilting his head to the side to meet my gaze. "I'll throw a pillow at you."
I gave him a blank stare, trying so hard to not laugh out loud and humour him. "With your lousy aim, you'll somehow manage to chuck it behind you."
A glint of determination filled his eyes. "Oh yeah?" he questioned, sitting up and grabbing a silk pillow in his hand. When he threw it, he missed me marginally but only because I ducked with a laugh. He rested his hands on his hips before he beckoned me closer with a hand. "I'm joking. Give me a kiss, pumpkin."
I shook my head with a saccharine smile. "Nah, I'm good. Get ready, though."
Walking into his living room, I noticed the absence of a Christmas tree and since Christmas was ten days away, I made a mental note to ask him if he was going to celebrate it this year.
"Where are we going?" he yelled from his bedroom and a peek into the room had me seeing him beginning to take his trousers off. I unashamedly returned back to his room as I plopped down on his bed. He smirked at me, snapping the waistband back on his body. "Will I get a striptease too?"
Rolling my eyes, I averted my gaze to his open wardrobe and pointed to a nice sweater. "If you play your cards right."
He walked towards me, cupping my face and lowering his lips on mine. I didn't argue and welcomed his gentle kiss. "We can spend the whole day in bed," he murmured against my mouth. "And I'll make it worth your while because I have a few favours to return." He ducked his head further and kissed my neck sensually.
"We can't be late, Sebastian." My words fell onto deaf ears as he gently pushed me back on the bed, climbing over me.
He undid the button of my jeans, tugging the zip down after laying a kiss on my stomach. "I only need 5 minutes, 10 tops." He gave me a sinfully handsome smile and I simply couldn't resist, allowing him to work his magic.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
He was laughing behind me when we stood in the line. "You took me from my warm and comfortable bed to have me look like Bambi on ice."
Our hands were linked and he lowered the shades on his face to give me a faux glare to make his point. That we should've stayed in. "We haven't spent time together in weeks, Sebastian. At least you'll look hot doing it."
He nodded but I knew he didn't acknowledge my words as we got our skates. Fastening it on his feet, he reluctantly stood up and took one step before he gave up and sat back down again.
"I'll be useless tonight if I break any bones, Mira. I'll just watch you from the seats."
I looked up from my skates with a confused expression. "What's happening tonight?"
He sighed, taking them off. "Dinner with my family. It's a family tradition to have an early Christmas dinner because we go to New York to spend Christmas with my grandparents."
So he doesn't put up a Christmas tree because he doesn't spend Christmas in London.
A frown passed my face and I suddenly didn't want to get on the ice anymore. The special thing about Christmas was it was also my birthday and that meant that I wanted to be surrounded by everyone I loved. But, Sebastian wouldn't be there to spend either celebration with me.
"Smile, baby. I haven't forgotten about your birthday, I have something planned."
My curiosity had been piqued. "What did you plan?" I asked nosily, tying my hair up into a high ponytail. He deemed my question as unworthy of a verbal response as he tapped the side of his nose.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
Sagging my shoulders, I checked the time and unsurprisingly saw that we didn't have enough time to ice skate. Sebastian hadn't taken 5 minutes or 10, but 30 minutes and I couldn't complain since I could barely form coherent thoughts.
I had a reservation for a new restaurant I wanted to eat at and I had originally planned to take Oakleigh with me, but she came down with a cold so those plans fell through.
Managing to get a refund, we left the ice rink and Sebastian began feeling bad. His hands pulled me back into his embrace and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "I'm sorry," he apologised, kissing my cheek. "We can go another time and I can see if I can pull some strings to get the rink to ourselves."
He rocked us side to side and we stood in the car park until we noticed a camera facing us. From his jacket pocket, he pulled out another pair of shades and perched it on my ears. Intertwining our fingers, he led us back to the car, and I noticed Kane following close behind.
Sometimes I forgot about Sebastian's bodyguards because they gave him space, but were still in close proximity in case something happened.
Giving him the address of the restaurant, we spent the majority of the afternoon there, and the food lived up to my expectations. When we arrived at Athena and Wyatt's house, the first thing Athena did was bring me into the tightest hug she could muster.
"Sebastian told me I wouldn't be in the city when it's your birthday, I'm very sorry."
I regarded her with a warm smile. "It's fine, Athena."
She shook her head in disappointment. "I would invite you, but I couldn't take you away from your real family at Christmas. I'd be like the Grinch. But, you have to come abroad with us sometime on a family trip."
Family.
Athena had carved a space in my heart and since I was missing a mother figure in my life for the past decade and a bit, I welcomed her love with open arms because being welcomed into the Harrington family gave my life even more meaning.
Sebastian gave my life more meaning. For the past few weeks, I desperately wanted to tell him about my true feelings, but I was incapable of ridding myself of the nagging feeling in my gut. I thought maybe I was being paranoid since Sebastian had been very honest with me as of late.
We were talking more about his feelings and he wasn't shutting me out like he used to do whenever everything got a bit too much for him to handle.
"I know you have to get to your restaurant so I thought we could just have an early dinner. Everyone is here already and everything is almost cooked."
I gave her another hug and wandered over to Kaia once Athena was called by Wyatt. In her arms was James with his tiny hand wrapped around her finger and his wide, hazel eyes staring up at his mother.
Then, my thoughts strayed to the adult James who we hadn't heard from for a while. He was on his last tour with the army and ever since Sebastian's birthday, we only received a long letter detailing everything on his mind and how he felt proud to be in the army.
All I hoped was he came back in one piece, safe and sound.
Sebastian came over and held his nephew in his arms, cooing quietly to the infant as Kaia took a break and rendered me with a soft smile.
"How have you been, Mira?" she asked as she stepped towards me and kissed either side of my face in greeting.
"I've been good. It's nice to see you."
Her smile widened. "It seems like the only time I see you is when Sebastian visits the family. You can come over to mine any time you like. I'm sure Mum feels the same."
My heart warmed and I noted her words. She went towards the kitchen to get something to eat before I made my way back to Sebastian, standing behind him and laying a kiss on his shoulder.
He was staring down at little James with adoration in his eyes as he traced his small features with a gentle fingertip. "Aren't babies so precious? I love kids so much."
Tilting his head, he pursed his lips slightly and silently asked for a kiss before I leaned up on my tiptoes and pecked him on the mouth. "I think you'd be a great father. I see you with Avery and if I didn't know differently, I'd be convinced that she was your daughter."
His lips lifted into a smile before he turned his attention back to James. I had gotten good at reading Sebastian's emotions, but when a wistful expression made its way onto his face, I was stumped. The ringing of his phone caught his attention and he pivoted on his heel to face me.
"Can you pass me his car seat?"
"Is everything okay?"
Placing the seat in front of him, he lowered James into it before taking his phone from his pocket. He took one look at the caller ID, and his frown deepened. "Uh...yeah, don't worry about it. I need to swing by the office for a bit, I'll be back later." Leaving the room at a speed I was in awe of, I watched his retreating figure and released a tired sigh.
One step forward, two steps backwards.
The day clearly hadn't gone the way I wanted it to since all throughout lunch, Sebastian had been receiving calls and even after he switched his phone off, my mood had already been dampened. I was beginning to feel like I shouldn't have bothered at all.
Checking the time, I winced when I saw it was 6:05. Time flew today, and dinner service was starting in an hour and a half, which meant I had to be going. Deciding to find Athena, I came across her in the garden and I offered an apologetic smile.
"I have to go," I informed her, watching her frown. "But, I'll come to see you before you leave for New York. I promise."
She begrudgingly nodded and opened her arms to welcome me into a warm hug. It lasted a few moments before she pulled back and noted the blank expression on my face. "Has something bad happened between you and Ash? Call it mother's intuition, but I feel like there's something wrong with him."
I brought my shoulders up into a shrug. "He's been visiting Cade's grave a lot lately. Four times in one week. So I think he's beating himself up about it."
Her eyes widened. "Did he finally tell you?"
I nodded with a small frown. "I've been trying to change his mind about how he feels, but it's like it goes through one ear and out the other."
At that moment, it was like something changed in Athena. Her smile dimmed and it was like there was a new side to her being revealed. "We've all tried," she sighed, biting her lip. "Even James and his parents, but my son is one stubborn man. I thought maybe you could change his mind."
"Well, I couldn't. I'll keep trying, but he's not willing to believe that Cade's death wasn't his fault."
Looking into Athena's eyes, I could practically see the cogs moving as she came to a realisation. "Mira..." she closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her forehead. "We're talking about different things. He still hasn't told you, has he?"
I was officially confused. "He told me about Cade, but that's where he stopped. Is there another part to the story?"
Her eyes slowly watered and I was taken aback. She looked around me to see if anything was there, proceeding to slide the garden doors closed as she took a seat on a chair. "He's going to hate me for telling you this, but I strongly believe you should know and the sooner you do, the better for him and for all of us."
I waited with bated breath, and when she finally spilt the secret that Sebastian had kept from me from the day he met me, I knew I was never prepared to hear it. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and I was frozen in shock.
There's no way. There's no way he wouldn't tell me, especially knowing how I feel about him.
"Sebastian's sick," and that wasn't even the worst part. "And he's refusing treatment."