There it was, I gulped down a bottle of water but it did not help to decrease the pain splitting up my head. I was in my imaginary scene last night, I remembered dragging Prakash in there with me. But he was nowhere to be seen, I was still in there. The sky was still dark as night but I presumed it was dawn since I had a long sleep. There was no chance of Prakash leaving the place unless I help, I got up in a hurry and started searching for him.
Did I do something to him last night? The memories started to float on the surface and my limbs stopped right there. I knew I was crazy, but even I could not stand the embarrassment I faced there. He was there in front of me, walking through the tall trees towards me. I ran to hide behind a tree. It was so vivid, his face when I kissed him. He must have hated it. I felt so guilty for attacking him suddenly.
"Come out! I saw you."
I giggled awkwardly concealing my embarrassment yet exhibiting it in another embarrassing way. "Crap!", I said to myself and apologised to Prakash. He did not speak, he looked as surprised and perplexed as I was. After thinking through for a moment, he spoke.
"What was that for?"
How could I possibly tell him that it was for the kiss? But I was brave, "Last night… Kiss…"
"Yeah, what was that for?", I couldn't read his face, whether he was angry or surprised or happy, I couldn't decode it. I mustered up the courage to tell him finally, I felt like if it was not then and there, I would never dare to tell him. I took a long breath and put my thoughts in words in a very messed up way.
"I tried, tried a lot to stop myself… But it didn't work… I guess I should be honest with you after last night's stuff…", why was it so hard to be honest? "I like you… I don't know if I like you so much to call this 'love'... Woah!!! It's cringe-worthy…", I couldn't take it anymore. I bit my lower lip and looked at his face hoping I did not sound creepy.
"Okay… What shall we do now?"
"Uh?"
"What do you wanna do now?"
"Ummmm… Nothing…". What should I have told there? Did I fail to ask him out? Wait… Did I even wanna go out with him? It was a long time, it was a secret for a long time that it felt so weird for me to tell him that I wanted us to be together. "Wait! My brain ain't working now."
I asked him to walk with me while I was thinking. He knew what I had to tell him but he wanted me to tell him directly, asking me what we should do. He was the worst kinda kind guy. I had already once told him indirectly how I felt, he pretended like he did not get it and laughed it off. I remembered it was a couple of years ago when I wrote a short play for his college festival, I put our story in it. I gave him the script of a story where the female lead liked this guy whose character was developed having Prakash as inspiration. Anyone who knew us could point out that the girl was me and the guy was him, but he couldn't. I always doubted that he was pretending to not have gotten a hunch then. This had been a major obstacle in my efforts to tell him that I liked him. And also his thoughts about love from a few days ago made me hesitate.
"Do you remember the play I wrote for your college festival?"
"Yeah!"
"It was about us."
He was not surprised, he knew it, I let a sigh out, "You are the worst!"
"I intentionally played dumb, I always thought maybe it was."
"Woah! I am getting mad for some reason… Do you know what you said on seeing the play?"
"What… did I say?"
"You said it was a good one! Do you even know how pathetic you made me?"
"Did I?"
"No! I made myself look so pathetic… I can't help but go crazy… I should have done it sooner…"
"Done what?", he blinked, I blinked too, I remembered the kiss.
"Not that… I should have told you sooner that I love you.", I said it, my hands were covering my mouth with jaws wide open. He was looking away while nodding at my reaction-cum confession.