It was a lot of effort she had put in just for the sake of a college festival. The storyline, characters and the events happening were all so familiar. She also named the characters with the same one as we had in a play in which both Sita and I took part, while we were in fourth or fifth grade. She was so detailed about the events, at first, there were hints, I tried to look over them but she added in our conversation about the play that, the story she had written was based on a true story. So it all made sense to me, her having romantic feelings towards me. To be honest, it made me worried, it made me look at her in a new light.
And then last night's her drunken mistake, I wanted to face it this time when she woke up, I wanted her to tell me her honest feelings and not play hide and seek games. For some reason, she kept on getting mad at me for not getting on the hunches, then I told her that I did get them all but I pretended like I did not. She was so naive, she confessed that she loved me while complaining how pathetic I made her.
"I still am in a haze, I don't get it… Why is it me?"
"I don't know it too… It's not like I wanted to… you know, you always tease me, make fun of me and sometimes make me look so pathetic too… then why would I? But still, it is what it is…"
She should snap out of it if she did not feel it right. "Listen… I am not so great of a person…"
"What does it have to do with this?
Oh, this guy! Are you thinking that I think so highly of you or something?
You being attractive to me… it doesn't mean that you are not mean and it doesn't mean that you are the best guy."
My mind went blank and I kept on listening to her. Because, all this stuff, they were untold or unheard all these years. I wondered how she had to put up with this alone, I had always thought that she was the most transparent person, I thought she never held back herself anywhere.
"You should seriously talk… Otherwise, how would I know?
I was clueless and have hurt you many times."
"Shall we go back?", she didn't wait for my answer and already got ready to go back so I had no option but to go along with her. When we reached my room, she was nervous and it looked like she wanted to leave soon yet something anchored her right there.
I scratched my head and said, "You should talk to me whenever you feel like it…"
She looked into my eyes, stared at me for a few seconds and said, "It was so hard for me to tell you. I don't even expect anything but it was all because of last night.", she sighed.
"I am sorry!"
"Uh?"
"I cannot get into a relationship with half-assed heart. If anything goes wrong, you will get hurt. And I do not wish for that to happen.", it might sound harsh, but I wanted to express myself honestly.
"It's okay!", she didn't even flinch, she sounded so cool and with a smile, she said, "I can deal with it myself, you must have been flustered, right?"
I fetched a glass of water for her from the kitchen and there, Tom was in the house. He said that Angad was out for work. It was a Saturday and Angad mostly stayed home on Saturdays. Tom was so happy to see Sita and greeted her with a warm smile. He insisted she stayed for dinner. It had been only a few days since Sita moved to our neighbourhood. Now that I remembered they had no opportunity to have a leisure talk after we went to our hometown.
"Sita, order anything I shall cook for you tonight."
"Hmm… Then I would have chef's special.", she looked better than I had expected. After all, it was Sita, but I couldn't rest so I excused myself to my room while Sita was chatting with Tom who was cooking for us. About half an hour later, I heard Swara in our living room. Angad returned home following Swara, I heard them having a good time chatting and laughing. I feared I would ruin Sita's mood so I did not leave the room.
Knock! Knock!
When I opened the door, Sita was standing there. She asked me why was staying in my room all alone when everyone was out in the living room. I didn't know how to react, I just stood there yet again cluelessly piercing her heart once again but she said,
"You know what? Everything just makes me wanna convince you…
What should I do?"