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Chapter 17 - It was all my fault

I came out from the house. I hate that bitch. She killed my precious little thing. She snatched all my happiness like how I snatched her father's. I took her away from her family. She took my daughter away from me. I was thinking about this again and again. I was driving car like it was an aircraft. I drove it in a full speed and I didn't know where I was going. I was driving like a crazy for around 2 hours. I roamed around the entire city. Suddenly realization hit me as hard as like a rock. I stopped my car in the road side.

If she wanted kill my kid, she would have done it at the time when she new she was pregnant. My little bunny would have died like my first kid without my knowledge. But she came to my office to inform me. She got so many things for her like toys and dresses. She was planning to prepare a child room near to our room. She planned so many things for her. Then how could she kill our baby. It was almost 5 months. If she tried to kill our baby now, it was even dangerous for her. Why would she do that. It was just an accident went out of control. I hate God. He took my both kids from me. First one I didn't knew until he dead. Second I didn't knew she would die. I felt the pain in my heart. It was the same pain I felt when my mom tried to kill me. That day I was emotionally hurt. And today also I was emotionally hurt. I wanted to go back home and hug my wife. I would cry in her arms and she would cry in mine. I should have been with her. I should have consoled her. I failed to do that and move over I blamed for our bunny.

I turned my car and started driving towards home. I took another 1 hour to reach home. I opened the door and entered inside. The house was very silent as a grave yard.

"Jenn" I called her. But I didn't receive any response from her.

"Jennifer" I called her bit loud. But again no response.

"Baby doll. I am sorry baby doll." I said as I entered the kitchen to check. She was not there. I started checking all other rooms like study room, her first bed room, gym, theater. She was nowhere. I forgot that she would have slept. She might be tired and slept off. So I entered into my room. She was not there too.

I went inside and check the rest room. But she was not there also. I started walking outside. Suddenly I saw her ring on the dressing table. I walked towards it and pick up the ring and paper. The paper was folded perfectly. I felt something was not right. I felt like someone pushed me inside a big ocean. I opened it and read.

Dear Eric,

I am really sorry. It was my fault. It was my fault that our baby died. But I never thought to kill her Eric. She is my flesh and blood. How can I kill someone whose heart is beating inside me. I feel empty if I don't feel that heart beat. You know what Eric, Initially I thought she was the one who is going to be with me and save me from my loneliness. But she is such a gift that she took you and gave me. I am feeling empty Eric. She took everything from me and went. I never thought to kill her. Not even when we were not together. I just wanted to celebrate our togetherness. I wanted enjoy. That's it. I never thought to celebrate the death of my bunny. My bunny is so important to me. In these 5 months, I felt complete. I did so many things for her. I planned everything for her. But It all disappeared like an illusion. You will never see me again. I love you Eric. I will miss you. Marry a girl you love and have lot of bunnies.

I am so sorry baby. It's mommy's fault. mommy's never thought to kill you. Please don't hate mommy. I love you baby.

Bye Eric. Take care.

Jennifer.

Once a fucker always a fucker. Initially I used to fuck girl and now I was fucking my own life. I pounced on the couch and cried. I was reading that letter again and again. I needed her now to console me. I needed a lot of bunnies. I needed her to give lot of bunnies. But I accused her. I deserved it. She took everything and went. I held my head and cried and cried and cried. I didn't know how many hours I cried.

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Love is so painful.