The next day I got the fetus from the hospital and made one grave for her in back yard. The only thing I could do to have my kid with me. I made a simple funeral ceremony for our kid with the help of Mary and buried her. It was so painful. I was in pain. I never knew that buring your kid was more painful than Buring your parents. I experienced both. My bunny brought hope of getting a new family. But she took it away with her. Again I was pushed into the darkness with much pain this time.
I tired to find Jenn. I sent people everywhere and I was searching for her all over the places. I hated her. She left me when she needed to be with me. I started drinking more and more now. I didn't have the count of cigarettes I smoke every day. Some days it might be 3 to 4 packs of cigarette.
Every day I visit my bunny's grave. Sometimes I would sleep off there itself.
I used to fuck girls. But I never brought them home. But now I took them home. Everyday one girl. But still it didn't ease my pain. I was in a self destruction mode. From morning till evening I would work like an animal. Evening I would drink, smoke and fuck girls. It became my habit. I never allowed them to sleep in my room. Once I done with our fucking session, they would take many from me and leave. After they leave, I would go and sit near to the grave and cry.
I was so much depressed. I needed a psychiatrist. I started visiting one. She was a great person to be with. She was always a hyperactive person. She would get your spirit up. Her name was Chaaya which means life. One of my employees told me to meet her and said she would help you to get out of the pain.
After 2 months of my bunny's funeral, I went and met her. Initially I was very hesitant to go. But I needed help to save myself. So finally I was there.
"Hi Eric, I am Chaaya." She said with an energetic voice.
"Hi" I said faintly.
"May I know why are you here?" She asked hesitant after my reply.
"I am depressed and I need help." I said without looking at her.
"Hmm. will you tell me why you are depressed?" She asked me with a curious tone.
She was changing her tone like a dubbing artist. Happy, sad, curious and more. I looked into her eyes and asked.
"Where should I start?"
"Start from the beginning" She said.
I started narrating my life story.
My mom Andrea and dad Joshua were childwood friends. They were very close friends and they would not be without each other even for a day. When they grew old and they were 18. My dad realized that they were not just friends but a soulmates. So my dad proposed my mom and they were dating for 5 Years. When they were 23, they decided to get married. Because my mom was pregnant with me. They could not prolong it more than that. They got married.
My mom was fine when they got married. My dad took her to Canada and they were living there alone. He was such a brilliant man. He was so hard working. He started his business and became a successful business man in Canada. He became busy and my mom felt like she was left out in the world. She was alone always. She started imagining so many things. But no one knew what was happening. She started talking alone. My mom's sister Anna wanted to do her higher studies in Canada. So she came and stayed with my mom. Then she understood that something was wrong with her sister. She informed it to my dad. My dad took her to hospital and got to know that she had bipolar. It was shocking for everyone.
My dad started doing his work in home itself to take care of Mom and me. But Her mental condition became more crucial and she started hurting people. She stabbed my dad once on his arm when he was not allowing her to leave from the house alone. So they chained her up in her bedroom. So that she could not do anything. Because of that she became more and more depressed. My dad and her sister Anna used to feed her and take care of her. She became more and more weak and emotional." Tears flowing from my eyes when I said this to Chaaya. My aunt Anna told me all these when I asked her why Everything happened to me.