My heart drummed to the beat of a thousand racing horses, threatening to break free from my body. I could only guess at what wild expression must have been frozen across my face. Luckily, the fan blocked all but my eyes from view.
And it was my very eyes that collided with his. Those tea-colored orbs were all but too familiar.
Before he could react, I quickly averted my glance, pretending I had never snuck a look in the first place.
No, it could not be.
Words describing the Prince of Jin flashed in my mind: proper, polite, serious. And as hard as I tried, I couldn't draw any vague parallels between him and the arrogant court musician.
It was impossible. But unless the court musician was the prince's identical twin, there was no way for two people to have such indistinguishable identifying features. Yet, then again, how could they be the same?
Perhaps it was just a trick of my eyes, a strange bending of light that resulted in the unimaginable.
"Rise!" The court servant's long call drew me back to reality. I wanted to sneak another peak, but the threat of the truth deterred me. Yet, to be honest, I no longer knew what I hoped the truth to be.
Accompanied by a round of applause and cheering were the words I dreaded to hear, "The poem has been sung and the vows have begun. Into the marital suite!"
He reached for my hand one more, and I reluctantly took it. Only this time, I inched away at his touch, leaving a sizeable gap between our hands that was not visible from an outsider's perspective.
Following a scarlet carpet, we made our way to the marital suite hand in hand. A crowd followed closely behind us, chanting and shouting words of encouragement as they showered us with peanuts and lotus seeds.
At the entrance, I was escorted alone into the tent, whereas the Prince of Jin returned to the crowds to enjoy the festivities.
Waiting alone, I set the fan down to take in my surroundings. I tried to distract myself from his face, desperately trying to erase his casual smirk from my memories.
It would be a few hours before I saw him again and had to consider my possibilities, I reassured myself, redirecting my attention elsewhere.
Never before had I been in a tent before.
Red lanterns draped from green cloth ceiling, and glowing scarlet candles lit the interior. Although it was sturdily built, supported by powerful beams, the tent's cloth rippled with the rustling wind. Far from being barbaric, the construct was actually a strange intersection between unity with nature and detailed aesthetics.
From my seat in the middle, looking upward into the oculus where the beams meeting each other left a small gap, I could make out the glimmering stars.
Just when I was lost in thought, the flap covering the doorway was lifted open, and I immediately put my fan back into position. Why was he back so soon?
The nearing footsteps mirrored my drumming heartbeat.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
The world and the celebrations around me tuned out, and all I could hear was the strumming of my own heartbeat. As the shadowy figure cast over the fan grew in size, I knew he was coming closer… and closer.
His hand touched mine gently, almost as if asking for permission to take the fan away.
Light flooded my eyes once more, and I blinked. Dressed in a crimson gown that seemed to be radiating light, he lost that sense of otherworldliness from the previous meeting. Instead, ignoring his stern expression, he took on the appearance of a seducing demon straight from the depths of the abyss as the candlelight flickered in the depth of his eyes.
What would happen now? My thoughts became a jumble of words. Would he hate me for how I treated him and say bad things about Liang?
He flashed a toothless smile, directed more towards the crowd that had followed him than at me. Standing to our sides were a row of older court servants, and A'Wu and a younger boy beamed from the corner.
But not a flicker of recognition or emotion ran through his eyes as they met with mine. They were the same that I looked at a few days ago, but this time, the arrogance was long gone, replaced instead by a conforming one that was unfamiliar at best. Perhaps he really had a twin.
We sat facing each other, our backs straight and our composture rigid. "To share future joys and wealth." A maid presented us with a plate of meat, and we each took three small bites. I was careful not to smear my lipstick, and he was watchful not to be disrespectful.
Next, dried gourd split into two halves was brought up in a platter along with a pitcher of rice wine. The two halves were knotted together with a red ribbon, signifying eternal bonds. I poured him a cup, and he mirrored my acts. "To be bound through woes and sorrows," the maid chanted.
Since the strings tied to two halves together, we were forced to break our uncomfortable distance to drink from the makeshift cups. Taking a sip, I could feel the hotness of his breath spilling onto me, and I closed my eyes. The bitterness of the gourd seeped into the liquid, purposefully tainting the rice wine was bitter, and I tried to hide my grimace.
After gulping the liquid down, his face became flushed, a rosy color adding to his sinful looks. His perfect composure cracked a bit as his face contorted from the vile taste, and I couldn't help but let out a snicker. Of course, I hastily muffled it with my sleeve.
He stared at me, a hint of warmth creeping into his eyes. Opening his mouth, he—
"Father Emperor and Mother Empress hopes that you will have as many children as they, so we were sent as good luck charms!" A'Wu and the younger child exclaimed simultaneously, shattering the moment. "They say to seize the night and produce them a grandchild as soon as possible."
I doubted that they truly understood the words that were coming from their own mouths, but I blushed for them.
"We shall take our leave now." Seeing that we were done with the customs, they excused themselves, and the maids trailed after them.
The last maid filed out the tent opening, draping the curtains down. In just a few moments, the tent became empty. Outside, the festivities were still continuing, characterized by the shouts and revelry. But inside, I heard nothing but my uneven breathing.
He suddenly stood up and approached me.
I stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to properly process the information as I saw the gap between us closing.
He was so close that his mouth nearly could touch my ear. "What? Is my beloved consort shocked by how dashing her husband looks in red?" he whispered, and a tremor rippled through my body.
There was no mistake about it. It was him.