At the altar, even without moonlight, the porcelain bodhisattva statue gave off a comforting silvery aura. The shadows cast on one side of his face painted an enigmatic smile, one that seemed to know the secrets of the entire world.
If only it could tell me what fate had in store for me.
I settled onto the dented reed mat placed in front of the figure, bringing together my two palms until they met in front of my forehead. "Generous Bodhisattva, when I am gone, please watch over my uncle and aunt and bless them with good health. They are good people who deserve no less than the best."
I knelt down sincerely, making sure my forehead touched the floor. The shadows around the edges of the statue's smile softened, and the stone inside my heart dropped. Even when I was gone, the Bodhisattva would take care of them.
I inched towards the door, careful not to make a noise. Surprisingly, the dim oil lamp in my uncle and aunt's room was still lit. Usually, it would have been long extinguished to save from wasting precious oil.
"Aiya!" My aunt exclaimed in surprise, her sound not at all muffled by the paper-thin walls. "Whoever marries the princess is destined to become emperor. Who is she to marry, her brother?"
I stopped dead in my tracks.
I had no brother.
"Shhh… She'll hear you." My uncle gently hushed her, and I could make out his silhouette settle down next to my aunt's.
Every part of my body shrieked for me to stop eavesdropping because it was improper, but the promises of the truth kept me rooted in place. My aunt had been acting strange ever since the encounter with the fortuneteller, and I was determined to uncover the secret. She would never tell me willingly, and after tonight, I wouldn't be around to listen anyway.
"No! I can't… the idea of my poor Youshi… I can't!" She was shaking uncontrollably, her words drowned out by loud sobs. "Just thinking of her sleeping with one of those old wrinkly men, trapped in a palace… I can't."
"There's no promise that the prophecy will come true. It could all be a foolish talk for all we know!" Somehow, my uncle's words were not reassuring, and I doubted that even he believed them.
But the idea of me, living as a commoner, ever going to be married to a noble, much less a future emperor, was absurd at best. They worried too much, but who was I to judge.
"The South," he paused, "The Emperor of Chen is only fifteen years her elder." He was even more unsure.
"Aiya! Don't you lie to me. I know he's a lavish pig. Even the vegetable farmers say the North will invade the South soon. If she becomes tied to the rotting kingdom, she'll be doomed."
"Well, what do you expect me to do! The Northern emperor has his ambitions, but he dethroned his own grandson to become emperor! For goodness sake, they're barbarians that don't belong past the steppes! And he's the age of Youshi's father! You've heard about his empress! If he takes a concubine, the only verdict is death!" His frustration was apparent, shattering his usual calm composition.
I winced, remembering how the fortuneteller promised that my fate was to become entwined with that of the North. No, I shook the thought out of me. I had almost let myself believe that madman's false words.
"What about his Crown Prince?" Her voice was hopeful.
"He is already wedded."
"But Crown Princes have multiple concubines!"
"The Sui empress believes in men to only have one spouse. Why do you think even the emperor's harem is empty? If Youshi marries as a mistress, she will also be instantly seen as a blemish by the empress and disposed of."
The Sui was a strange place, but I never realized their barbarism would even dare to break social construct that existed for millennia. One man bound to one woman. Why was it that a hidden part of me longed for that life? I scoffed and held back. As if my paths would ever cross with that foreign place.
"That leaves only us, the Liang kingdom." My uncle turned to the window. Seeing him approach, I ducked under the windowsill, my heart racing.
He must have not seen anything because he proceeded to talk. "The current emperor is her father. The future emperor will be her brother by blood. Who can she wed?"
Confusion? Shock? Incredulity?
Or was the answer clear ever since my aunt reacted to the word "princess" in such a dramatic manner, and I only sought to avoid the issue and pretend I never noticed it in the first place?
The lantern slipped from my hands, kissing the dirt floor with a dull thud.